Freedom From Guilt

mind imprisonment

2012-01-25T03:42:00.003+08:00

try to keep my head down, focus on the matter at hand

try to break my fake frowns, focus on loved ones and friends

but the more i think, the more this cubicle shrinks

memory bank vaults for the emotional deposits

feelin' like, i got to wake up from this one bad dream

but the story goes on because thoughts come in streams

illustrations of a man's illustrious history, attractive

but a mind imprisoned 'cause a man guilty, negative

cny 2012

2012-01-25T03:37:00.003+08:00

i guess we've successfully concluded this year's cny.

feels incomplete and abrupt, chaotic and shit. maybe it's just come too early in a calendar year.

nothing feels right, and.. geez, i'm happy but every now and then we all look back and feel silly.

missin' my cousins in brisbane. missin' taiwan relatives. missing how i used to write to overseas friends. missin' my past.. i guess.

but for now i'm happy i'm just trying to focus everything i can on what i'm doing.

but somebody teach me how to apply techniques to web layouts and design!

too old?

2012-01-25T03:36:00.000+08:00

lately i've been wonderin', comin' up with gansta rap lines

flippin' thru old records past my generation, my time

try to exhaust my mind with exhausted punchlines

used to be my favorite past time, and it was all fine

till i've grown up, i'm too old for that posthumous shit

too old for innocent craniums, i've got lost humours, shit

readin' too deep, too shallow, and then old rhymes go

composin' two rows for two doughs, reposin' this soul

forbidded this flow, burning sensations sensational

clashin' civilizations, space and time critical

so maybe we writing historical is kinda comical

but i'ma break the frame that says 'no idea's original'

i first listened to that jay z shit back in J-C-two

four years later, still twenty two two's at age twenty two

feelin' like, damn, age is startin' to catch up wit me

but the fact i'm in this paper chase, chasin' slowly

like there's a link; good grades equals living successfully

like asians are only good for modern day peasantry

"but fuck that 'cause that's a low life motto"

even though you can't shoot down the sun with broken arrows

we still try to separate the medium from shadows

still try to take down life lessons in our little memos

every single commodity that stamps patented info

we rip away the soul, strip away the gold, then follow

class!

2012-01-09T01:13:00.003+08:00

and i was immediately reminded why you can never be my friend.

i aint some big shot or some shit, but having glanced into the both of my eyes the least you could have done was to say a 'hi'.

had an urge to return the animosity and treat your existence as though you were invisible, but ha, you aint worth it.

and so sem 2 is on its way and this time, i'm going have to work harder! :)

stickers

2012-01-08T13:01:00.002+08:00

and they will stick with you thru the happiest times

until your fall from grace, to your darkest times

感言15.12.2011

2011-12-15T02:09:00.002+08:00

我不再難過了

我看見自己是多麽的美麗，那麽的多有魅力，別人是給予我多麽多的愛

雖然每人能真正擁有愛，我可是真正的體會到了

換個新環境，其實對自己很好

謝謝你給我這個機會，我會好好把握的

don't be ridiculous

2011-12-15T02:05:00.005+08:00

don't be ridiculous

just because you rhyme the last word of every sentence doesn't make it a fucking poem

WHERE IS YOUR FLOW

WHERE IS YOUR SKILL

WHERE IS YOUR TECHNIQUE

More importantly,

WHERE IS YOUR MESSAGE

t.u.m.

2011-12-09T04:19:00.001+08:00

FUCKING 4:19 in the MORNING

FOREVER WRITING TILL I GET DISCOVERED

the.unhappily.married. (purely fictional)

Mirage, life and death, toasts to coke and meth

Co-existence, fallen deaf, angels of spiritual theft

Can't do it alone, still rolling with the rolling stone

Got nowhere to go, 'cause this is where he calls his home

Hosts and parasites thin nest-cage equivalence

Little man has little options, middle man acquaintance

The wage war commisions, meddle conversations

Winding pi fractions beyond brine saturations

Asking why the heart status, merger, democracy

Understand why bird heart the caged I know suddenly

It's a stolen nature, vulgar urban roaches

Gettin' richer quicker fuckin' drunkards on liquors

While the "young salewoman sets up shop when the sun sets"

Guarantee to detach the souls that were matched

Plus a plaster plastacine, injest penicillin

Wakin' to bathroom floors, where the hell have you been?

The Child

2011-12-06T00:35:00.003+08:00

So I stepped back, recollect, regret the shit I've said

But the words' been out, I guess I can't take them back

I was like a child, refused to wait for the soup to chill

Scalded his tongue so bad, two weeks and still he's ill

Subsequent meals, coupled with subsequent bills, now he's

Mentally ill from the medical pills that actually kills

The truth is concealed cause he will not reveal, he's

Bottlin' it like a contraceptive pill, he will distill

Pneumatic drills into the hard core truth, the literal

Imagined emotions in temples, thoughts hypothetical

Killed the sabbatical, there's nothing left but sentimental

Memories of yesterday carried away in opticals

Souls of nights cease, lone, a mistaken disease

In the cities of tall buildings, the cold air, the breeze

Contaminants I breathe, the same one that I sneeze

And that desire for a friendship I could not release

In retrospect the kid should have calmed down and respect

Choices of an individual, who was he to expect

Suspecting a doubt that only brought frustrations

Psychological state of mind that maybe spells limerence

Pitching a higher tolerance, building a balance

With scales of a sign that epitomize elegance

Cause if perfection was he, he'd be an embarassment

So he stabilized and composed archaeological remnants

In the initials of crap verse, two stanzas will immerse

Arguing shit, two by four, the last eight lines of this verse

Maybe rehearsed, with pens inversed you can call it adverse

So long an intersperse, hope that this may be reversed

Only method to salvage the broken intended recipient

Relating this to reactions of an 'angry man asian'

Repent or remorse, re-penned and reinforced

You know, if friendship ain't meant to be, it shouldn't be forced

Too late, haha

Traditional rhyme schemes, original rhymin'

Know-identity

2011-12-03T23:56:00.003+08:00

My mind is polluted by sounds that come from my headphones

But my choice is peculiar, that's why I'm always feeling the lone

I'm having a hard time trying to fit into mainstream taste

Repulsion every time I diss that mainstream waste

It's a lame dream race, let's face it, the wealth and the fame

I'm never gonna make it the thought of it brings shame

The bells ring change, it starts to rain as I feel disdain

Droppin' plains of pain, it starts to faint but I'm still the same

And something I still don't understand, I can't comprehend

How the fuck am I supposed to move on without a plan

Now, I'm breaking relationships over petty little things

Seems to me I don't really know myself, I'm having flings

Mingling around with the shit I ain't supposed to mess with

But fuck it, I ain't got anything on me to start with

好聽

2011-12-02T22:28:00.001+08:00

你的版本真的很好聽

聽了好舒服心裏好多了

不認識你，但還是要謝謝你

生病了

2011-12-02T22:17:00.004+08:00

done.. won.

2011-12-01T02:19:00.002+08:00

It's a common question asked a million times

Even more times you tried to force that shit rhyme

Life, love, stress and setbacks, show me where your heads at

Cause honestly I'm tired of the bullshit and fake acts

Fuck a job demeaning, it's a fight against the odds

Inscribing life's meanings, it's a fight against the Gods

I'm ignoring texts, emails and messages

Just so they notice my struggle with the rummages

I'm aged twenty one, but my mind is really older

Who the fuck am I kiddin', isolated in the corner

Trying to fit in but you can't you fucking Termite

They try to ruin you, label you, reduced to plights

But seriously, you think you all that great

Go out there and face reality before it's all but too late

Demonstrate, show them how it's supposed to be done

Fuck a break, show them how it's supposed to be won

somewhere else

2011-11-29T00:40:00.001+08:00

I'M VERY CONVINCED I DON'T BELONG HERE

'cause this is the only thing i want to do

2011-11-26T15:29:00.001+08:00

I WILL BE A FUCKING DOPE LYRICIST

travel!

2011-11-25T16:10:00.001+08:00

http://www.fluentin3months.com/life-lessons/

無暇的美麗

2011-11-24T23:34:00.005+08:00

無暇的美麗

現實生活中我們不在一起

但妳可知道我每天想著妳

我們的愛情史美麗得可惜

同住在這城市卻失去聯繫

成人生活繁忙複雜得可怕

這世界又一直不停的變化

讓人不再擁有單純的想法

我想再來的話也不一樣吧

在分手時說出最狠的話我沒忘記

我們用歲月建立的一切多不爭氣

妳不顧我軟弱脆弱的心將它打碎

現在互相後悔也不能彌補得了誰

日子匆匆過去我的人生向前走了

我不再幼稚了從此再也不抱怨了

但偶爾的寂寞不斷勾起我的回憶

我也只能偷偷回頭迷失在那夢裏

感謝妳讓我看到真實的殘酷事實

人生的不完美其實才是完美的事

所以我用回憶畫出曾經完美的妳

只有在那時空裏妳是無暇的美麗

friend on fb.. so?

2011-11-23T23:15:00.001+08:00

connected by the internet

but it's sad we no longer chat

放棄

2011-11-21T23:05:00.003+08:00

有太多的話想對妳說

太多的想法說不出口我太懦弱

太害羞膽小不敢獻醜我想太多

想當初的溫柔當初的見面

現在只想要再多見妳一面

你怎麽沉默不説話了

難道連朋友都不當了我說穿了

我知道妳比從前快樂那我呢

我只能在這角落等待未來

等待未來有一天妳會回來

外面的世界紛擾喧鬧

電視的負面新聞報道

我們的故事沒有人會知道

他們不瞭妳對我有多重要

我又到這路口的交叉

這就是我們的結局嗎沒準備好

來得太快來得太突然我沒想到

原來我是這麽這麽的愛妳

我是多麽的不捨得放開妳

明知道不可能卻又想牽起妳的手

有種莫名衝動把妳摟在我的胸口

求妳今晚別走願妳陪我躲在被窩

我們什麽不做讓時間像流沙溜走

或許輪回注定這一生不能在一起

所以選擇放棄

yachtes and boats

2011-11-21T19:22:00.001+08:00

Hello, are you dead or are you still running alive

Times get harder and colder after you survive

Living on borrowed times, whose turn is it to shine

It's laughable how you try put your past behind

Reclaim stolen eclipse and sunshine, these are shadowed times

Of mellow rhymes that cannot cross the yellow lines

Where's the boundary, can't locate it, you forsake it

You berate it, like vanished money that you donated

What a tragic, swami gimmicks turned black magic

Coming around and calling it philosophy of logic

History repeats, yet another generation fooled

Paper chasers believing religiously in schools

These are peasant tools, you critic Socratic methods

Set the ball rolling, turning moments like effect Ratchet

Hatred in the veins of pessimists, socialists and Marxists

Axis tipping mentalists, opportunists and batteries

Work overload, I deviate onto the lonely road

Leavin' you cold, friends turn into the phony mode

So I'm searchin' for antidotes for the people I dote

Assailed by doubts as I embark a different boat..

what struggle?

2011-11-19T19:31:00.003+08:00

As I sat at my table thinking of themes to write

I scratched my hair, pullin' those that had turned white

And still, I couldn't think of anything to write

So I sat there wasting my time from day to night

It's a mental fight, how did I end up in this woeful plight

Becoming a thief, stealing rhymes, with styles I bite

Becoming everything but the man who swore to abide

By the principles and rules I preach and cite, it's like

Exhaustion from the path and the waves you ride worldwide

Constantly searching for the grass 'on the other side'

Wished someone was here to be my guide, a bona fide

Teach a man to 'rap homicide', and whet his appetite

But look how he betides, angels circling the devils inside

Feelin' like politicians losing dignity and pride

Like political prisoners who die before being tried

Cast aside the great divide of the blacks and whites

Killin' the innocent like concentrated pesticides

They try to hide, insightful insights like the war brides

And denied to everybody they did it, fucking lies

But it's only time that people with real eyes will realize

Suddenly I feel like I have finally recognized, that

In comparison, my struggles are minute in size

Nobody sees tears when you're standing in the storm huh

Be a man, get up and fight for it, cousins, sisters.. bruh'

who sees your pain when they themselves are in adversity?

2011-11-19T01:28:00.003+08:00

Nobody sees tears when you're standin' in the storm

Cancer (November 2011)

2011-11-17T15:33:00.002+08:00

His best friendship asset: Deep Feelings

Since most relationships are initiated by a him, he looks to give rather than take, but at the same time wishes to be given too.

Science and mathematics are not ideal for a him as they don't allow sufficient space for personal opinions.

He will always try to maintain some kind of connection even in the most extreme circumstances.

He's one of the most bipolar signs, only true friends know how to deal with them.

morning mrs tay

2011-11-16T02:15:00.003+08:00

Dear Mrs. Tay

I feel like paying you a visit after my exams.

But where and how do I find you?

I'm sure you're resting well among the stars.

Since 2005.

Yours sincerely,

Love

time to do something

2011-11-16T00:17:00.001+08:00

Tired of hiding behind the screen?

It's time to do something.

be a happy mum

2011-11-15T14:08:00.003+08:00

And she's been sleeping on the bed for 2 entire days already.

This is worrying. Please. be happy.

lame love rhymes

2011-11-15T13:55:00.002+08:00

We're connected by the phone, by the texts

By emails, by facebook, the internet.

But still, you and I, we feel so distant

Your hair, your smile, so reminiscent

lame love rhymes lol

take care.

2011-11-15T02:20:00.004+08:00

Okay I'm just skimming thru' the old photos of myself and some of my friends..

And geeez look how far I've come from being an introvert to who I am today.

And then I thought about you. We were so alike.

You used to be so quiet, so introverted.. So blue and so sad.

I'm just glad you went overseas and became a lot happier.

I'm really happy for you.

And even though I'm probably forgotten by you, I will never forget the fun times we had.

You were like my sister. I loved you so much. But I had to let go didn't I.

The best decision your parents ever made for you.

I looked outside of my window and saw the twinkling star.

And I wonder how you are. lol so cliche but really.

i felt the love tonight

2011-11-14T18:54:00.004+08:00

I just heard one of the truest love story ever told

Noddin' my head in agreement, then I felt the cold

With tears of gold, she flips thru' historical pages

Of a normal school teen, fast-forwarded marriages

They never got together, and that's a regret

Boy met the girl, but that was 28 years back

Thru' the darkest times, the darkest storms, she cries

Infinite maybes and possibilities, she tries

To stop herself from imagining the impossible

Time already robbed your youth, this is no fairy tale

But think about the seas you've traveled, the skies you soared

The kids you've raised, pride, yes, someone give her an applause

Crumble down the wall, back then it was a tall order

Rewind it back now and you might reconsider

But if you was her, would you merge the tools of convenience

Or entrust on dwelling sentiments, the test of patience

You see the success of the man who used to love you so much

Yet it was you who let go of that golden touch, as such

As much as I empathize with you, it's sad that it's true

He never hated you, still blessed you, he still loves you

Ain't no way you two will ever be together again

There ain't no way you can sing the songs of forever again

But deep inside in that little corner of his heart

The memories you paint is your greatest work of art

28 years later the story is retold

As I sat there listening, your hand tightly I hold

This ain't about the cling, this ain't about the gold

Seems like some things we'll never, ever let them go

If you never said, I'd probably never, ever know

Past tragedies, life's misery that you never, ever showed

Applauding your bravery, I know that I'm lucky

To be sitting right next to you as you finish this story

reminiscing about you

2011-11-14T15:10:00.002+08:00

I know it was over the moment I penned that letter

It was nothing personal, I only hoped for the better

Why would I destroy something I worked so hard to build

But you never gave a piece about me, and that's how I feel

What I feel, my feelings intersected with aphrodisiacs

So I stepped back, tried to figure this picture, this mosaic

I was fallin' in deep, thinkin' 'bout you even in my sleep

You're the reason I keep havin' paradoxical sleeps

Walkin' down the streets thinkin' what would have been, could have been

The nicest chapters written in our lives, the world would have seen

But clearly you wasn't into it, I feel so stupid

Like an idiot, so I'm breakin' the relationship

I just couldn't handle the emotional torment

My sadness flows like the river of sentiments

While my friends sit across and laugh at the opposite

Tellin' me "I told you so, you just wouldn't hear it"

Retrospectively they were right, about bitches and life

Rewinding the scenes constantly, soon dusk turns into night

I'm wasting precious minutes of my youth reminiscing

Someone I barely knew, but memories they still cling

semester 1 shits

2011-11-13T23:14:00.003+08:00

all the shit this semester

1. i just fucking lost a friendship

2. my grades have fucking dropped like fuck

3. fucking caught in a car accident, thought i was gonna die or some shit

(hope to sammy gets the good news that he waits for)

4. my grand-aunt is in the hospital for the nth time

5. exams are coming up and i cannot fucking pick myself up

6. nothing except one thing excites me no more

7. i'm about to lose more friendships. about to break more relationships.

8. exams are coming up and i dunno what the fuck i have learnt. at all.

still have no fucking idea what to do with this one fucking life

but i still got your love. the only thing that is keeping me together

and i keep thinking about my friends and relatives overseas.

i ain't gonna quit. i'm not a quitter

你說的我一定會實踐諾言

still writing lyrics and rapping in my fucking four walled room

so what if you think it's whack, who the fuck is you

SAME SHIT AGAIN

2011-11-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

姨媽又住院了..

好不容易痊愈的說，現在又住院了

陸陸續續好起來又入院老天爺你覺得這樣很好玩嗎

請你不要再折磨她了好不好

我真的很難過你知道嗎

sorry. i'm sorry.

2011-11-08T23:14:00.003+08:00

I can't believe you actually did that on me.

You're the one who needs to get the clearer picture.

I've helped you so much, and you couldn't even help do me a simple favor?

that's fucked up.

i say fuck your pretense, lies, excuses and shit

but i like you, so i might forgive if you admit

i thought we could have been real friends but god damn it

from the beginning it was one-sided friendship

i showered you my love, concern and my care

almost crossed the boundary right over there

told everyone how great you were thru' both of my eyes

and now you won't even look straight into both my eyes?

don't forget who used to give you company and help

till you became independent, easy, I could tell

get it right, you're about to lose a big asset

since i changed poles and repelled like a big magnet

you say my eyes are small like fuck, that is true

can't believe i wasted my time giving in to you

you're always the center of the attention, fair enough

but i pity those who willingly walk the same path

why they even help you, i can't know fo sure

character is embedded, there is no cure

they say you're beautiful, but that's really all there is to it

i will never STOOP so low and fall for your lame tricks

and that's it. i'm sorry that's it. no more.

enough of the ranting coz my mouth is sore

but you should hang a warning sign on your shirt

i don't want to see another person treated like dirt

in reconciliation, you better have a good reason for this.

mazeee

2011-11-07T22:17:00.001+08:00

You say you hate your life, yeah you ain't the only one

Tired of being dragged around when you're the chosen one

It is no fun, this city is down, weary and fucked

This road is lonely, all I need really, is luck

Nowadays I only think about writing the lame rhymes

On the same lines, conjuring rhymes in the same mind

But nobody understands the pain that you go thru'

While you're wallowing in the blood veins that run so blue

Caged in four walls, barely space for you to even crawl

But no-one responds to your pathetic little bird calls

Your fall from grace is the only thing that they all laugh at

Remindin' you the fact, curiosity killed the cat

Fuck a map, fuck a trap, fuck your ex-lover's slap

Love turns hate, our emotions we need to recollect

We're lost souls, can't do it alone, we all need help

Unite the human spirit, liberate the self

我的宿命

2011-11-05T13:39:00.005+08:00

我竟然一邊聼著這首歌，一邊留下眼淚

大白天，大男人，你哭什麽哭

相信很多人聼過孫燕姿《我不難過》、王菲《旋木》這兩首動人動聽的歌曲..

聼久了，聼了太多遍，已經對歌曲中的悲傷麻木了..

直到..

直到我今天去搜尋歌詞作家的背景和故事，我頓然愣住了，突然覺得心中的不愉快並不算什麽

From Wikipedia:

（楊明學2004年死于肺癌）

外型相當不錯的楊明學曾擔任王菲《旋木》一曲MV的男主角，此MV的女主角爲其當時女友許維恩。2009年1月前偶像團體B.A.D成員田恩沛與許維恩結婚時，在婚宴進行到新娘抛捧花時，就為其妻演唱這首已故前男友所創作的《旋木》，並對她說：“我知道這首歌對你的意義。” 讓許維恩在場衆多賓客都不僅感動落淚。

你知道每一首背後的故事嗎？我錯了..我真的錯了..

楊明學，你的人生雖然短暫，但你留給這世界很多美好的創作，將會影響很多人，甚至還是一輩子呢

寫歌詞是我的宿命，千萬千萬不能忘記

wy do i love you?

2011-11-03T02:02:00.002+08:00

And again today I tried to be your friend.

And again tonight before you disappeared,

You didn't even say 'goodnight'.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY GOODNIGHT.

I'm tired of this one-sided friendship.

Well you know what 2 more Freitags and we're done.

Haha I'm kidding. You know that I love you.

Lügen

2011-11-02T21:04:00.001+08:00

STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME

跟劇本走

2011-11-02T20:56:00.003+08:00

謝..我很想相信你但是以目前情況看來..有點很難置信~

或許有些事情不該讓人知道..知道了反而更氣因爲故事沒跟劇本走

但我還是要繼續努力，不辜負你對我的期待

寫歌詞是我的使命

keep or delete

2011-11-01T15:06:00.003+08:00

Re-reading my posts.. I don't know man.

I should probably take back whatever I've written when I was depressed. I should probably delete them. I thought too much, too deep.. Truth be told, I was going insane.

But. I guess. It's all part of growing up. Even if it comes back to haunt me one day.. Oh well.

At least I'm man enough to admit I did write that stuff when I was younger.

And looking back, do you even recognize the same person who's reading this post now?

99.99% sure you won't.

自由

2011-11-01T14:08:00.004+08:00

我給你自由~

OK TIME TO STOP READING.

READING TOO MANY CHICK LITS RECENTLY WHAT THE HELL

EASY A: Pocket Full of Sunshine Clip. Watch more top selected videos about: Cam Gigandet, Lisa Kudrow

Still remember I watched this with zhiquan and co. hahaha omg so gay.

check check!

2011-11-01T11:51:00.004+08:00

Lol just checking, if anyone was thinking the previous post for intended anyone, WRONG.

i just need to tweek a bit to write into a verse.

great time last night

2011-11-01T11:30:00.001+08:00

Had a great time last night, that's all that matters.

NEVER MIND

2011-11-01T11:29:00.002+08:00

I don't think anybody believes the shit I say. but, whatever man haha.

not again

2011-11-01T11:28:00.001+08:00

又來了. DAMN

誰都不要

2011-10-31T03:33:00.007+08:00

MESSY I KNOW BUT THIS IS NOT FOR ANYONE THIS IS A LYRIC DRAFT LOL

我真的誰都不要.

如果有一天你真的墜入愛河，投入了別人的懷抱，我不會生氣，我會祝福你，但我也會擔心你受騙

我害怕被你遺忘，但如果真的把我忘了..就讓時間沖淡一切

如果有你偶爾的關懷，這就足夠了

只要你最低落，最需要人陪伴的時候想起我，如果還來得及，我一定會給你我最後最棒最溫暖的溫柔，最溫熱的擁抱

除了你，我誰都不要.. 我是說真的。

我是真的真的愛上了你，現在把這份感情藏起來..因爲我知道我們不可能在一起

可以當你最好最好的朋友，是我唯一的要求，很開心你沒拒絕我這個要求

我很想知道你的想法，但依目前看來.. 妳就讓我繼續喜歡妳吧

thanks for remembering me

2011-10-31T03:30:00.002+08:00

Received a super random text from my super friendly technician friend from ns today.

Thanks jon chong, for not forgetting my existence.

Every little thing that people do for me these days.. I'm starting to appreciate them more.

I'M NEVER TAKING ANY OF THIS FOR GRANTED I SWEAR.

share the love. peace out. good night.

擁抱

2011-10-31T03:27:00.002+08:00

“要擁抱的不是自己的愛人

那種感覺很微妙..不可解”

我就是要寫歌詞

found rhymes

2011-10-28T01:09:00.000+08:00

She was only sixteen when we crossed this path

Ended individual relationships, consumed by this wrath

She was cute, yea, resembled the girl I swore I'd marry

But she was more like a broken-winged angel, and sadly

Walkin' thru this ghost town, a lost soul to repent

I used to ask her how she was every now and then

I loved her smiles, how she used to pretend she was okay

When deep down inside I knew how nothing was okay

She was an ugly duckling turned to the blind eye
But I predicted exactly one day she'd beautify

Turn into the beautiful swan without magic wands

Yet at that moment that moment seemed ever forlorn

They told me to stop wasting my time she ain't worth it

But I didn't want the sex, I just wanted this friendship

Only she could relate this emptiness I hide inside

She just wanted to fit in, clenching that thorn, that pride

Exchanging messages on ice-cream sticks, smile wide!

One of a kind, she harnessed and reversed the tide

Killed the darkness inside my head, inside my chest

Cure for sickness, all that I had, she was the best

We started hanging out whenever we were down

At the same time she drowned out the unhappy sounds

Suggested leaving this town, needed a change of place

And she got her wish first, left this place of rat race

What was I to do? She came from a rich family

There was no way I could have stopped this from comin'

Told me how unbearable it was, I saw it all

From the tears on the face to the fists on the wall

But I knew it was for her own good, life altering

She needed real friends, friends who'd stop her crying

Rich people are everywhere man, but she was real

She appreciated the friend I was, and that's how I feel

Man, I still remember your letters of complaint

How we hated the fact we were no longer saints

How you hated change, I know, I too I felt the same

I felt disdain, I felt the same shame and the pain

This is the city of dearth, no mines to unearth

Takes a lot of nerve for anyone to show their love

And it's been 4years since you left my side

There's so much to lose and only so much I can hide

found these rhymes again

pour me another.

2011-10-27T22:27:00.002+08:00

Some songs are really age-specific i tell you.

They only make sense when you've hit a certain age.

And BAM! something just hits you so subtly.

play fair

2011-10-27T15:52:00.001+08:00

hey there, you don't play fair.!

ain't there yet

2011-10-27T14:05:00.001+08:00

we ain't there yet!

突然間

2011-10-27T02:43:00.003+08:00

突然間好想

1、和全家人去打保齡球（很奇怪吧，因爲我根本不會打保齡球）

2、帶Angel去個漂亮的地方玩耍

3、學如何吹口琴、彈鋼琴、吉他學新歌

4、寫一本愛情小説

5、學日語

6、約個正妹一起去溜冰哈哈！

但還要想辦法存錢發大財才可以實現環游世界的夢~！

when are we going to record

2011-10-27T00:54:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO FUCKING RECORD.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

2011-10-27T00:18:00.005+08:00

I do not own the material as of below. I just thought it was pretty real.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

1、有時候陽光很好，有時候陽光很暗。這就是生活。

2、過分為己，是為自私自利。完全捨我，也是虧待了一個人生靈 --- 自己。

3、女人的奮鬥目標就該是，讓以前的男人遺憾，讓現在的男人流汗，讓未來的男人稀罕。

4、你給我真心，我就給你真心。你給我未來，我就給你未來。你給我負心，我就給你巴掌。如果你足夠愛我，我一定會給予你最甜蜜、灸熱的愛。如果你不再愛我，不再珍惜我，對不起，我是個知冷知熱的真實的人，我的心會自動降溫。

5、幸福是，不會因爲走得太遠，離開太久，而忘了因何處出發、丟了曾經的堅持。

6、據説一個内心豐富的人既不害怕獨處，也不害怕人群，因爲他們可以在獨處時心中綻開大千世界，也可以在人群中保持一份恬淡清寂。

7、我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

8、什麽樣的人最有魅力？答案就是：内心有力量的人。什麽叫做有内在的力量？就是遇到困難，碰上痛苦，能夠坦然與自己負面情緒相處的人。

9、我從沒被誰知道，所以也沒被誰忘記。在別人的回憶中生活，並不是我的目的。

10、選男人的標準有時很簡單，受歡迎的男人通常不是什麽好東西，因爲他們遇到的誘惑越大就越難守住愛情的專一。而大部分好男人，都是默默讀完書默默地工作，然後默默找個女朋友，最後默默地結婚生娃。雖然感情的精彩在於分合跌宕，但天長地久的真諦永遠只有兩個字：平淡。

11、如果一個人真的足夠在乎你，那麽他總能擠出時間來陪你，沒有藉口、謊言、沒有不兌現的諾言。

12、男人的自信來自一個女人對他的崇拜，女人的高傲來自一個男人對她的傾慕。永遠不要栽培你愛的男人，你把他栽培的太好，結果只有兩個：他從此看不起你活他給別人偷了。

13、憂慮並不能阻止不好的事情發生，它只能阻止你享受生活中的美好。

14、當年舟車勞頓只為與愛人片刻相依的他，一心只想把那份感情守成天長地久的他，可曾想到会有今天？愛著的時候，以爲那個人就是自己的一生，誰料到一朝夢醒，就站在了另一個人的身邊。

15、選這樣的女人做你的妻子：如果他是一個男的，你會選她作朋友。

16、所有男孩子在發誓的時候都是真的覺得自己一定不會違背承諾，而在反悔的时候也都是真的覺得自己不能做到，所以誓言这种东西无法衡量堅貞，也不能判斷對錯，它只能證明，在說出來的那一刻，彼此曾經真誠過。

17、那些嘴上對愛情不屑的人，其實才是對愛情最忠貞的信徒。

18、如果一段感情已經進入死胡同，還是越早結束越好，拖下去對大家都沒有好處。一段感情走到燈火闌珊的時候，是應該理智地把它畫上句號的時候了。

19、離開一個地方，風景就不再屬於你；一個人離開你，那人便與你無關。

20、每個人的初戀，大都十分純情。跨過了初戀，愛情就生出了很多姿態。有人風流，見一個愛一個；有人冷漠，再不會拿出真心。不是每個人，都適合與你白頭到老。有的人，是拿来成長的；有的人，是拿来一起生活的；有的人，是拿来一輩子懷念的；有的人，是要一輩子珍惜的。

Be brave. Keep movin' on y'all.

so bad!!!

2011-10-26T04:00:00.002+08:00

I am pretty confident that I'll succeed one day, but at the moment you're way out of my league.

At first I thought I stood a chance, I thought, looking past the fact I wasn't rich, and I could be your gentleman. but then haha, I guess I lost the moment. A little jealous no doubt, but that's about it.

But I'll wait. I will wait. Until you realize my existence or.. someone who truly loves me comes along. and i've slipped by by then.

hey..

thanks gb, for every little message you send makes my day a little better.

and isa, i miss you very much. there's not a day that goes by without me thinking how you are doing over in sunny australia.

thanks cheryl, for wanting my friendship so bad. you say what's passed has passed, but i keep thinking what a bastard i was. and i'm just glad i'm a somebody in ur life.

thanks to my sister, for always making my day. for always showing me the delight in the simplicity of life.

thanks angel, for the smile i see every morning when i wake up and when i get back home. you're getting so beautiful with each day you age.

thanks mum, for i wouldn't be here if you hadn't grit your teeth and suffer. 'there is no progress without struggle'!

and of course, thanks dad. it hurts me so much to see you working your ass off every day just to keep this family going. it ain't easy, and sometimes it may seem like a real lonely road.. but.. i really don't know what else i can do. all i see is you going to work so unhappy every day. when will a nice and understanding boss realize how awesome an engineer my dad is? he's one of a kind. your loss you didn't hire him. sucks to be under-appreciated when you've given all you've got for this fucking company.

untitled

2011-10-26T03:33:00.000+08:00

Money can't buy you happiness, everybody knows that

But some people have it as their sole motivation to rap

I can't tell you what it really is, but one thing I promise

There's not a single night I sleep without reminisce

There's not a single day I don't think about you

There's not a single pay I collect that is due

There's not a single day I contemplate what's the truth

It's every single day that I articulate, that's the proof

These days I wonder why material welfare is up

At the same time non-material welfare is fucked

Wealth breathers, supposed to make our lives easier

The numbers are up, we're supposed to be happier

Instead whines get louder, we deserve more than this state

You bred greed in the people, now we want a bigger cake

Fourth branch of the government try to confuse you

More immediate suicides but subsequent numbers fell to

Lower than previous years before the Great Depression

People saw life more than just material acquisition

People got thru shit together, now it seems forever

Since the obsession with time, dime, sex and notes

Mentality shifts, callously history is rewrote

To benefit who? We are shown the glamorous youths

With the blings shining in the four-walled booths

We shout beiber! but why and for how long? We know neither

做好自己

2011-10-26T02:51:00.001+08:00

其實..幹嘛那麽在乎別人怎麽想，幹嘛那麽care別人生活過的怎麽多姿多彩，幹嘛那麽在意人家的新生活如何？只要做好自己的本份就好了不是嗎？

想通了！

wy

2011-10-26T02:08:00.003+08:00

I think after this academic year I promise I will never start a conversation with you again. wy? i dunno.

yo I miss my past

2011-10-26T01:56:00.003+08:00

And I can't provide you with diamond rings, I can't give you the life you want, I can't be that Prince 'charming' that you look for, I can't flirt like how guys that you like do, I can't pretend to be who I am not.

But I can serenade you with tunes every day, every moment I swear.

I can be your friend, I will do anything for you on any day I promise.

AND LOL I'M NOT SULKING HAPLAPBLAHBLUBLAH *input some gibberish garbage in here*

why does eminem's chorus resonate so suddenly

To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS

gah this philosophy is making me think deeper and deeper

hurry up!

2011-10-26T00:32:00.000+08:00

can't wait for this semester to fucking end.

hello are you there

2011-10-26T00:27:00.006+08:00

hello are you there

I missed how you always asked me for company for whatever reason it was. How you always looked for me as a source of inspiration, as a source of help, as a source of entertainment. We talked almost every day about every thing from your worries to your childhood to your hobbies, to your friends to your love life. I can't deny that I enjoyed that. But then you became independent, you had your new friends, you went on with your life, and I was soon forgotten.

I only existed when you needed something. Like a staircase for you to fucking step.

But it's alright. I'ma still hold on to my values CHYEAH :D

“或許妳會有一天懷念，可是我已不在..”

till next time

2011-10-25T02:00:00.002+08:00

4 stories. part 4 will come.. when I feel like it.

Today I feel so happy I don't feel like penning down any frustration of any sort.

Oh well. Back to work (project) tmr!

tschüss!

Guten Nacht, Welt!

4 stories. part 3.

2011-10-25T01:48:00.003+08:00

Smile of the week. the month i think.

Was walking home from White Sands today with my earpieces plugged in.

On the way home there was this mother cycling back home with loads of stuff in the basket.

Too many stuff perhaps. She lost control of her bike and fell, and with it, all her stuff dropped onto the floor. Seeing she was struggling, I went over to help while she picked herself up.

Turns out her boy cycled so fast that she was lost control of her bike trying to catch up with him.

So anyways, she kept thanking me until even I felt so paiseh. I just gave her a smile and I got a really big and wide one in return :) she even wished me good night. awww.

And I felt so happy for the rest of the night.

4 stories. part 2.

2011-10-25T01:43:00.003+08:00

Went over to starbucks@yih today.

Walked past a few people playing guitars and geez i just thought of leeleng.

We used to talk about playing guitar together sometime after ord.

But it never materialized. I gave him a text and geez did I realise how much I actually miss a lot of people.

Haven't met you guys for a long time. Hope you guys are doing alright.

Please take care :]

4 stories. part 1

2011-10-24T21:47:00.006+08:00

After reading gb's post I feel so blessed to have a loving family like mine.

People often ask me, how is it possible my family's so attached to my taiwan relatives when they're so far away from us. And then they ask me about my sg relatives and while i must admit while i'm close to some of them, the same can't be said about all of them.

I FEEL SO BLESSED. I LOVE MY TW RELATIVES.

We aren't rich, we're just well to do.

Lemme first talk about my uncle. Someone I truly admire and respect a lot.

My uncle owns a ramen stall and his stall's pretty renowned in taipei. he's made a name for himself without the use of gimmicks, without any financial support from nobody. without paying to get on tv.. nothing. he made it from scratch.

Probably the wisest person I know, he always shares with me his views on politics, history, the injustices in the world, his knowledge. I admire his courage to face reality - I'm telling his story from my point of view. The biggest factor that attributed to his decision to start a business himself, was because he couldn't get a job elsewhere. Blacklisted by the government (then, taiwan was governed under martial law) for writing anti-government articles and materials, he couldn't find anybody that would want to recruit him. So he told himself he was gonna get out of this mess himself. My grandparents wanted to help him - but he insisted on doing it alone. He's a humble man who doesn't brag, but I know how much he went through just to get to where he is today. And he ain't getting carried away. He appreciates life as it is, he dotes on us kids a lot and for that, I can't thank him enough.

He shows unconditional love for every single one of my cousins, whether they were his biological kids or not (yes, he married a widow, and till today I smile every time they hold hands in public. it's been so many years since they're married, and geez it's so sweet they're more in love with each other today than before). He does spoil his granddaughter a little too much, but I'm sure one day she'll grow up and appreciate the nice family she has :)

As much as guys are attracted to hot chicks and hot chicks are fooled into falling for flirts and players.. I will be that scholar that hopefully one day someone who sees that in me would love me for being who I am. My dream is to marry someone who loves me so much that I will do anything for her on any day. I don't need a festival, a day or an occasion to show you how much I missed you. I don't need birthdays to give you a present, to offer you my friendship. I don't need a reason to help you. That's my uncle's philosophy (as well as my relatives) and I will carry on this tradition.

And as for my other relatives..

Hmm. I think the biggest difference in the treatment is.. They only care about what I achieve, and not what I didn't. They didn't care if I did well in school, if I was disrespected, looked down upon as a kid in school (all these were true when I was in primary school). When us kids are back, they're just happy to see us. I mean, they do encourage us to do well in school, and praise us whenever we do nice things for them. That's all I ever need. And instead of asking how us kids are doing in school, they ask about our well-being.. Things like our love-relationships, our friends, our hobbies, and they're always keen to know more about our lives. And it's been like that since young.

This has a lot to do with how close my mum is to their siblings. They're so close that often, they provide emotional support for one another. My aunt (before my aunt had kids herself) and uncle used to take care of us when we were kids, and now, it's my mum (and our) turn to take care of them now that we have the capabilities to do so.

Call it traditional, but I like how every conversation starts with “吃飽了沒？” A simple, yet heart-felt greeting. Whatever happened to this culture? Bringing you back to my early days in secondary school, in desperation to get into shape, I started hating food. All I ever wanted to do was to lose weight, to look good. I succeeded, getting to a record low of 58kg when my height was 175. Insane right? And I was still trying to lose weight.

And when I went back to Taiwan everyone got a shock.. But something changed when my cousin told me this: 能吃就是福. and come to think of it.. yes it is. I see kids elsewhere in the world starving, and here I am, submitting myself to this anorexic standard of beauty. Subsequently, I grew out of this foolish behavior and began to appreciate the food placed on the table. Appreciate what you've got, and never waste food that others can only dream of having.

I shan't go too much into the details, but umm. just wanted to say maybe the attitudes are so different. i feel so foreign to my sg relatives (not all, of course, but most). My tw relatives love me, dote on me, guide me, and try to show me what life is really about, what a family should be like. One of my cousins used to be really passionate about the horoscopes and zodiac signs, I guess that's why I became someone so interested in such stuff too. In fact, I believe in some parts of it. Are our fates destined? I don't know, but it seems my character seems to resemble what was assigned to me. Sometimes I hope I could be someone different, but, however hard I try, it seems I still breathe and live the cancer values.

At night sometimes I think about the good times we had. How my cousin used to bring my brother and I to her workplace to play while her boss was away haha! how she always told us bed time stories when we were kids.. how she always brought us around and showed us the city. how my aunts and uncles never punished us for our mischief. In retrospect I think my development as an individual (in fact, for my siblings as well) owes a lot to them. I wouldn't be half the person I am if it wasn't for their guidance. I was a teen full of angst, but never once had they given up hope on me. and the occasional calls.. i don't know. sometimes i just wanna cry. i owe them so, so much.

I feel for gb, I know what he means by 'that kind' of people. People change, but, what the fuck is that small achievement they've/ their kids' got? There's always gonna be people better than you out there. Don't judge people.

But erm, on one part I cannot agree is that, no matter how much I detest a person, I will still make that effort to greet him/ her. After all, my not acknowledging of his existence will only pit me at the same low-class-ness as that person. Even if people don't acknowledge your existence, show that you acknowledge theirs. Doesn't take much to take that, right?

A little disorganized, I just wrote whatever came to me.

and oh, this is in no way a diss to the sg relatives that I love too. I'm just saying in general.

but stop comparing achievements. 人比人比死人!

4 stories today.

2011-10-24T21:44:00.003+08:00

4 stories i'm gonna share today.

1. one is my version of the story that gb just posted about an hour ago.

then i'm gg to walk my dog and then come back to finish the others :)

2. about my message to leeleng. havent met him in a while i wonder how he is.

3. about one of the most sincerest smiles i've seen in a while :D

4. the last one will be on my recent frustration. probably gonna write it as a lyric or smth.

一輩子

2011-10-23T13:40:00.002+08:00

也不知道爲什麽，但我想我會等你一輩子..

But haha I'm quite sure 10 years down the road I'll look back on this post and be asking wtf i was thinking haha. but atm i'm insanely drawn by you.

end of histor-ray

2011-10-23T13:06:00.005+08:00

The dawn sets upon us, it's a new era

We've fought the wars dragged by the feet traveled in horror

Tired, lethargic and hungered, resources are exhausted

They say we're fighting for patriotism, but didn't we cause it?

Dictated by the circle of life, lives flowin' in circles

I'm sure 90% of this society don't even know what they're into

Apotheosis of praetors, those who rebel are traitors

Time ticks off the guillotine, silenced berated haters

Evidence! Pictures speak more than words in sentences

Pullin' his hair, Voltaire wonders where is their common sense

Nowadays we all want freedom, what an oxymoron

Magnify under microscopes and you will see what is wrong

why do i care?

2011-10-23T13:06:00.001+08:00

but why do i care?

wait some more, make some wars

2011-10-22T13:14:00.003+08:00

It's obvious time is running out, need I shout it out

But I'd keep quiet, not loud, what ya hollerin about

I'm tryin' to make my iris, pupils and mind concentrate

Last grains of sand, disequilibrium, it's all but too late!

Another date, another day I see the last shines of rays

I'm tryin' to forget what happened today, yesterday

But it only gets harder each day, I'm trying to stay awake

Give me another plate of lost passion you tried to emulate

Pour me another, so I can forget this addiction

Pour me another, so I can regret this attraction

Who really needs the gears and teeth, mutual interaction

Who really needs the fear, turned leaves, special intervention

Birds sing why the caged I know, chirps away the show

Freezin' snows, white flakes follow, she wouldn't let me go

I will wait, I will wait, I will wait and wait some more

Till memories, feelings, my heart, my mind make some wars

There's angels among us.

Some are just asleep.

Atmospheric conditions, climatic situations.

fightin for scraps

2011-10-20T15:05:00.003+08:00

I was destined to be next-in-line, the king

But now I'm losing interest in almost everything

While the rest of humanity is fighting for scraps

I'm just sitting, watching this fights among cats

I might as well reincarnate as a filthy rat

Scurryin' down the sewers to avoid attacks

But I'm a man, I do not cower in the face of danger

I'ma stand up proud and strong to face these strangers

Life phases in stages, they pin me down in pages

They try to kill me emotionally with images

In this age we anticipate the apocalypse

And with this rage I predicate the fucking red lips

The eclipse, great sips on this cup of coffee, my tea

Opaque as hell but my reflection is all that I see

Weird to y'all but it makes complete sense to me

While y'all faggots can keep being wannabes

I want to see the end of time, humanity panics

And all we see is similarities, although distinct

And we no longer see ourselves as Asians or Hispanics

When hypocrites stop saying shit that contradicts

My pet.

2011-10-18T22:41:00.001+08:00

These days I observe our dog a little more.

She's just so beautiful..

So beautiful, ain't she?

mental bewilderness.

2011-10-18T13:20:00.002+08:00

Mental bewilderness

I woke up from another one fucked up night

I'm huggin' onto the poster with me holdin' the mic

You can't always get what you want

Somethings will always remain a dream, you fuckin' cunt

I'm fallin' thru the cracks on the ground

But with wings I flew, soarin' like supersonic sounds

Up, up, up and away, I'm sorry I can't stay

To watch you grow, but thanks by the way

For the way your love was unconditional

They forget each birth was a miracle

Yet some can't wait to throw it away

Lost like a pin needle in stacks of hay

But I, can empathize with the struggle

I can minimize the puzzle, with the bubble

About to burst, it's in danger, endangered

Hungered scavengers, paper peacemakers

Fuckin' fakers need to vanish from surface of earth

Run and never return to this turf of ours

Lyrically dark themed, conniving dark schemes

You only need words and thoughts on your team

assdigydaigdfoighosajolawdugpojnmerglzmjgjtogbjm'fgpkjh[0yrh

arigato

2011-10-17T21:49:00.004+08:00

Thanks kinetik, thanks aidan, thanks cheryl for always being there for me. Thanks gb for hearing me out. thanks vlad for that enlightening conversation.

Thanks to my family. Singapore or Taiwan, y'all have never let me down. NEVER, EVER.

These fuckin' 3, 4 years is just a small stepping stone. get the fuck out of the way.

And for those who don't respect me, haha, it doesn't matter because I know so many others who do, and those who truly cherish me. And my love for them is greater than you can ever imagine.

If I happen to neglect you sometimes, please forgive me. There's just too many things to do. But I never, ever forget the times you've rendered me help. And for that I appreciate.

When I help a friend/ family, I don't expect anything in return. That should be the way it is. That is my principle. But at least show some appreciation. Don't EVER take anyone for granted.

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I only exist when you need something."

and the city shall live to see another day. an achievement in itself.

got my back

2011-10-17T21:20:00.007+08:00

Lately I feel like I've let myself down

Too much complainin', squeekin' and whiny sounds

I didn't mean for shit to happen this way

Didn't even mean a single thing that I said

I hit a new all time low for no reason

I was going insane, sinkin' into depression

My friends were slowly leavin' me one by one

Moved on with their lives, having their own fun

In contrast I was fallin' behind in academics

Strugglin' to adapt, I was strugglin' to fit

In a place people didn't know you exist

Still hovering in horizons, into the abyss

But haha I feel so happy today

For some weird ass reason I cannot say

I remember why I was here in the first place

To educate the entire human race

No matter how limited my knowledge might be

I will keep learning and teaching ambitiously

There goes another episode of wasted time

I'll work hard, hope this will be the very last time

I ever let my loved ones down, I miss y'all that's true

Still remember the promises I made to you

Seems like yesterday I was in my super S outfit

Tight fitting, laughed and mocked, a super fat kid

A super fat pampered kid, got a culture shock

My dad's company went broke from plummeted stocks

Adult's talk, I never understood the politricks

But we could no longer afford what we used to eat

But all that is over, the sky is clear again

Kept the stain till this day, it's ingrained in my brain

Remindin' me nothing came easy, appreciate that

Remember what it was like writing your first rap?

Eh yo,

Fuck you, you and you and fuck you too!

hhaa motherfuckin' doubters.

and to my friends, thanks for the nice conversations, i think i've got my drive back.

Be careful

2011-10-16T23:17:00.001+08:00

I just wanted a little bit..

Just a little bit.

Ha, I don't even know what I'm saying.

i will still come back home.

2011-10-16T22:46:00.003+08:00

Really need to migrate overseas to work on this.

Problems will persist, i'll be homesick but I think I have to.

But i'll still come back home.. or homes.

Who will be the ones to stick with u till the end of time?

Outoflove

2011-10-16T22:28:00.001+08:00

Ich bin alles aus Liebe

being nice never pays.

2011-10-16T22:02:00.002+08:00

Ok that's it. I'm exhausted.

So much is at stake I need to regain some rationality.

Some people are not worth your time, you know you've just gotta purge them, you've just gotta ignore them.

But as a gentleman deep down I can't do that. Whether you a guy or a girl, I've tried to be nice. I've tried.

But being nice never pays.

I know if you're just taking advantage of me. I know if you're the kind of person who'd only talk to me when you need help. I know if I'm just your stepping board.

I know, I know.

SCHOOL.

"Black clothes, blank stare, dyed hair

You could die tomorrow and nobody would care"

SUNSHINE

2011-10-16T15:34:00.001+08:00

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE IN MY HANDS

the city part 2

2011-10-16T15:10:00.002+08:00

The city is full of people but noone knows you

Money and sex the things they relate to

They want to see what's real, what they can touch and feel

The world is fucked, and that's how I feel

I got ten million reasons to kill

Got ten millions items for me to steal

I am travelling on the road to riches

Mercenary as fuck, fuckin' bitches

But at the end of the day still empty as fuck

Truth be told, I never tried to sneak a touch

On dollar bills and butts, I guess I never will

Fit into your fuckin' system against my own will

Somebody once preached "God loves Ugly"

But the way I see it, I can guarantee

It's not a virtue anymore, it's kicked out the door

Withstanding the stampede as I lie on the floor

the city

2011-10-16T04:02:00.002+08:00

The city streets glitter in the city of lights

While the poor struggle to survive another night

Where the day starts with signals of rooster calls

Here we are the animals, I say fuck a rooster call

In the morning we're back to our cage with four walls

Aimless and mindless waiting for the night to fall

The party begins so it's time for bottles to pour

Overdose, on the streets these bodies start to crawl

The ragged looks on in the same envious glances

Wondering what rendered them their circumstances

What you can afford in a night is gold in their eyes

They could do more with that money than spending on ice

It's a crack habit, a bad habit for the rabids

But how can you blame on the pampered kids

Censored from the realest pictures ever captured

They just consumers of what they manufacture

Out of mind, out of sight even in broad daylight

How the fuck you expect them to have a foresight?

Livin' like graphs till the x and y axes collide

Infecting earth like a motherfucking parasite

The city is full of people but noone knows you

'cause money and cents - the only things they relate to..

ok back to sleep now

Liar, liar~

2011-10-16T01:18:00.003+08:00

You don't deserve my friendship, go eat shit

Your words are lies that paradoxically contradict

Pinning all blames on everything else is a crime

And you're a hypocrite bemoaning the lack of time

Your friendship will never be mine, and I'm cool wit it

You only need me when you need a fuckin' sidekick

So if I had a wand I'd cast away this memory

Have it vanished to the bottom of the sea

I'm not even askin' for a favor to return

'cause true friendships will survive even third degree burns

On platonic ones, I understand skepticism

But baby, don't treat me like I'm a fucking demon

These men don't really give a fuck if you're pregnant

They only mission is to spread semen, but I'm different

I ain't a feminist but them girls need to beware

Or be left in the cold when you're hungry and scared

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I LOVE YOU

2011-10-15T14:59:00.003+08:00

To families and friends

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I MISS YOU.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody"

It's an old book but it totally echoes my current state of thought.

Who doesn't get frustrated when life is bullshit

And it doesn't play out the way that you want it

Fuck it, let me state all the worries I possess

Not enough love, not enough friends and not enough cash

Not enough hugs, not enough bitches to show my love

But I don't let media fool me thinking there is true love

And every page states minimum wage in this fucking cage

Short-sighted faggots can't envision the future image

Where alienation's gonna hit you harder than you think

That's the reason there is no water in the kitchen sink

I feel like a loser and things only gets sorer

It gets worse when your pockets feel lighter without dollars

Struggles of the poor, turned behind by blind eyes

Suddenly I have a dream of catching the ryes

Too often I have a problem with my hermetic self

Can't let go of the hook I cling onto since age twelve

Pictorial signs that dictate personal profiles

Sentimental minds that dilate critical smiles

So when I grab the mic I grab it tight, I grab it right

Never forgetting those who shone the light in the darkest nights

I remember when I was just a kid with no worries

But memories seem so distant I wonder if that kid was me

Raised by a driven dad and a loving mum

But still dependent on them at age twenty one

Passin' life, I went to school, crossing boundaries

Determined not to let anyone see the real side of me

But I understand that ain't gonna get me far

People get defensive after they sustain a scar

Not willing to open up to people, are they

But reality and truth can't match, they say

You just gotta live with it, through the fog and the mist

And hope one day eternal bliss really exists

But for now that day shall remain a beautiful dream

Where the patch of grass will glow a pasture green

Chances are slim, but that don't mean it won't happen

Meanwhile you can fight till the sun is burnt

Till day turns night till the death of zeitgeist

When nothing matters, fuck the times you memorized

When you were mesmerized, by the person next to you

And you realize I was the only person who was true

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I LOVE YOU.

“憂鬱..那可有可無的道具”

2011-10-01T15:13:00.003+08:00

像一陣透明微風給你絕對的寬容
當你的淚如泉湧我是你的垃圾桶

Win > Lose

2011-10-01T12:42:00.002+08:00

Treated like shit, so I had to be explicit

Thrown the shit off my chest and take off the heat

But understand I'm made of soft tissues, not concrete

So wipe off some of the dust off your double eye-lids

Love turns hate, as it degrades, and degenerate

To the inner soul of the body it penetrates

Let me set it straight against the destine of fate

cause, "I'm on my way so don't close that gate"

And as I stand here upon my script of life

Wonderin' if I could have done shit different in life

But haha, you only get one shot in this game of life

So I took the chance and spoke my mind.. last night.

And I wonder if 'sie' even cares anymore

But what I saw, und sie kümmert sich nicht mehre

And if that's the case then the case is closed

'cause you have won more than I have ever 'lows-ed'

surpression

2011-09-29T00:11:00.001+08:00

Need to sleep. I think I'll be fine tonight.

insomnia

2011-09-28T23:58:00.003+08:00

I'm sufferin' from insomnia these sleepless nights

Cruisin' thru' days with amnesia in broad day light

Forgot how I got here, forgot how I got fear

Forgot how I ended up with this bottle of beer

Devils puppetin' this fuckin' body with strings

But they don't understand the pain it brings, it stings!

you must be blinded

2011-09-26T22:59:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE FUCKING BLIND! OMG.

before i'm gone

2011-09-25T01:09:00.001+08:00

Everybody can see.. except you.

How come!

haha just fooling around. piss off!

But a number..

2011-09-21T01:31:00.002+08:00

Our lives are so degraded, with memories that are faded

Try to erase it 'cause we hate it, with pain that is abated

Dilated opticals when we see belated miracles

But seeing is not always true, give credit where it is due

I'm sufferin' bruises from the war that was fought with blood

Against the heavens from shores that was shot with floods

God cannot hear the, or see the, real motives of believers

Oblivious and the ignorant, they try to deceive them

Under the false consciousness implanted by the government

Sticks of carrots, and opiates of the masses - religion

People need to open their eyes wider, not just the Asians

Do you really believe what they say about foreign investments?

In the system of the capitalist, the workers emerge

They came with empty pockets, so they were happy at first

Until one day they grew disgruntled with the second class treatment

They came to revolt, wanted to make a bold statement

But were too self-interested to even keep it real

Bought over by monetary appeals, they just couldn't stay true

Sucked into the vortex of a vacuum, they were simply consumed

See, these consumers are the real products being consumed

So give them a room for them to wallow in their sorrow

In the darkest nights, no promises you'll see tomorrow

You need a dollar to borrow? But money doesn't exist

You're hallucinated, believin' the value it promises

But the bottom line is this: it is dehumanizing

With all their might they will try to quantify every single thing

From money, to time, to the total human population

From monkeys, to swines, we all have identifications

You are dispensable, nothing more than just a number..

五月天3DNA

2011-09-18T22:23:00.001+08:00

你提醒了我..

我最最最初的夢想

追夢。2012年09月18日

contracts

2011-09-14T01:29:00.003+08:00

So I went on with my life, the college and the bullshit

Only to realize his words were true, college's full of misfits

Scam, fraud, it's so fucking fake, you're so fucking fake

Making you my friend was my number one mistake

It's true, in certain aspects I gained some respect

But bounded by the clauses once you ink the contract

Who's to say what, who's to say how, got the speaking rights

But on repeat I chose to keep my lips shut tight

One day she'll understand the path I chose to take

Why do I have to plead to the Hedonist's sake?

On a separate issue..

I got a friend who's strugglin' with depression

Thru the days and the nights I think of solutions

But the thoughts sank deeper, I fell into the equation

That summed up like a vortex situation

Disjointed hands cling onto the elapse of time

But uplifted heads prevent the relapse of minds

just a few points i had to say.

there is no 'i'

2011-09-09T01:05:00.002+08:00

Putting on a false front, she'll never understand

Diffusion into mainstream, the ordinary man

Big shoes to fill, but they shrunk over the years, until

He was reduced to pursuing the cheap dollar bills

All he ever wanted in life was pursuing his dream

But assimilation entails taking one for the team

Coffee shop revolutionaries talk about 'the life'

Escapism entices when competition is rife

When it comes to imagery they are visionary

But unworthy when it comes to reality

The last fours decades wasted on breathing, he spent

Always wondering where the fuck the days went

The years wear on and soon enough he too will be gone

Not quite finished yet but it'll be too late for her to mourn

When you grasp the definition of vulnerable

The delusional will have the truth smacked in opticals

It's 1am in the morning..

Meaningless wars

2011-09-08T21:43:00.001+08:00

"They're out there being slaughtered

In meaningless wars so you don't have to bother"

That's why we all should know politics.

getthefuckout

2011-09-02T22:35:00.006+08:00

Okay you know what, that's it with sad emo songs

From the moment I wrote that last shit I knew I was wrong

Used to envision my poetry raising awareness

But all I ever write these days is expressing sadness

Something changed inside of me, I got a little softer

From the days when I thought raps only evoked anger

When it taught me to rap gangsta, I developed the opposite

Stop the violence in hip hop, I believed in that shit

And I'd like to believe that I do know something

But Socrates taught me to see that I only know nothing

And that was the thing, I couldn't sing so I rapped

Till this day I still love spittin', rhymin' and word attack

Fallin' in love with every single rhyme I hear

But too many distortions and discourses, they appear

I keep side-trackin' but shit's still gonna be done

There's battles to handle but the war's still there to be won

Give me refund, of my failed emotional investments

Emotive words in statements, evoke the sentiments

For every rhyme I write I'm responsible for

I'd echo it across the fucking audible walls..

ok fuck i still have german to study and assignments to do.

simply no time for emotional troubles. get the fuck out.

onthetrain 020911 afternoon

2011-09-02T22:35:00.005+08:00

This emotion is too much to take, it's intricate
The way my emotions intertwine and twist, it's delicate
Complicated, you cannot separate a man from his soul
And you cannot castigate the way that I flow
As the story is told I'm drownin' in powdered water
Ain't nobody to save me except me, the fact of the matter
Is that nobody can hold my reigns even if I'm tied to chains
Only text-type sad faces can express them in plain
I ask myself why do I have to put myself thru' this shit
I'm a grown man I'm supposed to manipulate the shit
Not the other way round, fuck the emo elements
The roots causes, jealousy and envy in resonance
To anyone in similar positions this is my suggestion
Don't ever let ur feelings mix into the equation
Regret you didn't fuckin' show your intentions, affections
I'm not saying I'm in the worst possible scenario
But it sucks to live in another man's shadow
Someone you don't even know, motherfuckin' raptures
I will motherfuckin' capture, emerge from the stature
Just to prove he a player, and I know you know it
From the fiery depths of hell, I will blow it, just so I show it
But this pen is my the form in which I express best
That's why I wrote this shit to get it off my chest
So fuck the pandora box and the maiden who opened it
For I am the man who's out grown this head. I condoned it
They say men are visual creatures but I beg to differ
Cause I'm the living proof good still exists in the world
My eyes are small but my vision's better than most faggots
The best dressed whenever I put on straight leathered jackets..

喜新厭舊

2011-09-01T10:32:00.003+08:00

People getting lost in their small little worlds they ignore the little nice things in life..

Including the people around them.

喜新厭舊

Stress and Politricks

2011-08-30T00:25:00.006+08:00

And the stress keeps piling on top of my head

I'm motivational, that's what the letter said

But instead, this pressure is starting to spread

All over my body, my shoulder starts to crack

The mass' too real for this physique to undertake

An alternate thought for me to contemplate

I'm burning under the rays of infra-red

The brain is porous so you can easily infiltrate

But that will never be me - I'm a man of my own

And you will get shot if you try to steal my throne

So you better be gone if you still deliberate

This is not for those who can't focus or concentrate

Off to bed before the boogieman awakes

Got this technique you cannot berate or actuate

Translate: I murder offensive castigators,

You fucking morons, biters and alligators

Never wrote shit in a day of their lives

But try to put me at mercy of the knife

All I feel is strife when injustice is rife

Politricks fucking up our quality of life

barely known.

2011-08-23T02:03:00.002+08:00

Perhaps some regret over the invitation.

But like my friend, I like these 2 lines the best.

Open-minded, but never the type to make the moves

I'm the shy type, so when it comes to love I always lose

And it's obvious that everyone can see that

You're oblivious to even the sight of my back

I can only blame myself for being soft-hearted

Always kept low profile since the day I departed

I think you need a pair of new eye contacts

You're too young you develop eye cataracts

Your vision is parallax, small eyes see wider

You need to set your targets a little higher

Than your associated height, my future is bright

But we're always short-term minded, right?