三樣東西

1、三樣東西一去不復返：
時間 生命 青春

2、三樣東西毀掉一個人：
怒氣 傲氣 小氣

3、三樣東西永不放棄：
童真 理想 希望

4、三樣東西最無價：
愛情 善良 友誼

5、三樣東西最無常：
成功 財富 夢想

6、三樣東西成就人：
天時 地利 人和

7、三樣東西要珍惜：
父母 孩子 眼前

8、三樣東西做事情：
目標 方法 改

9、三樣東西交朋友：
誠信 奉獻 無私

10、三樣東西把握好：
機會 人生 婚姻。

Glück ist kein Zustand

"Glück ist kein Zustand zu erreichen, sondern eine Weise des Reisens."
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

- Margaret Lee Runbeck

it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

actors and actresses

Do you ever wonder if you're just an actor in this well scripted god damn movie.?

the number 361

random thought about anger.

then i realized, that my anger wasn't as much anger than it was disappointment.

Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives

Because life is no Disney. Life is no Hollywood.

So did we come to this world.. To learn? Or to suffer?

I think it's great to be child-like (not childish). But like the author says:
"Living Disney movies in our minds, and tragedies in our lives"

Aint no bed of roses, get the skin off your noses. And if I ever forget what a relationship, I will read these to remind myself:

1. I Didn't Love My Wife When We Got Married (http://popchassid.com/didnt-love-wife/)
2. 10 Ways To Avoid Marrying The Wrong Person (http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/15806/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/)
3. How To Know If You're Marrying The Right Person (http://marriage.about.com/od/choosingyourspouse/a/rightperson.htm)

But haha what do I know. Sometimes as a rationale person I do fantasize about marrying huh hahaha. Gott focus on my personal development first.

I don't know if Reiki is for real, but I'll keep working!

every star can shine

I watch the clouds gather up in the sky
And I try harder to let this moment slip by
I wonder if there really is a paradise
Or if the promises of an after-life just fat lies

I thought I knew what love felt like
A process waiting for the pain to subside
Hoping to sedate the sorrows I feel inside
Hoping to see a shimmer of glittering light

Reminisce about a broken promise
Memories stored clear like in a compact disc
Sadness of a prisoner trapped in a cell
Relinquish is the only ticket out of hell

I thought I knew what freedom felt like
A state of mind abstaining from personal pride
Hoping to break from what we left behind
Hoping to see that every star.. every star can shine

no contradiction

there's no contradiction as long you accept what lies within and see it as perfection

to the gang, continue hoping.

This post is meant for the gang. Yep you guys have already received this message, but I thought I should document it as a part of my growing up process.




"Today yongjie called me about booking accommodation in Taipei (sorry about forgetting to reply your message)

This might make me sound old (I am), but I've been thinking about the times after ord when we were so carefree and all our worries were about which uni we were attending, who's chasing which girl, where we want to travel to, where to hold our 21st birthday parties, what to buy as presents etc. and suddenly all these worries feel so puny, so little.. and so.. trivial.

Then I realize life is so much more complicated than it already was, and there's so much more things out there to worry about and to do. I can't return to Taiwan anymore, and sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with all these things and feelings and.. I just miss those times.

I'm glad we've had these happy times before. Whether it's something unforgettable like the taiwan trip, or those ordinary times like our basketball or soccer sessions during recess and after graduation, movies, or just hanging out at szejun's place.

I miss them; I miss them all. I miss hanging out with you guys, and I hope all of you are doing well."




But that boy is long gone, and I'm now a man of responsibilities. Sure some burden's off my shoulder as well, now that Dage is back in Singapore and working. And selfishly all I ever wanted to be was to be a normal student like everyone else, hanging out with friends till the whee hours, celebrating birthdays and all that shit. They tell me I shouldn't let this affect my daily routines, and I carry on doing the things I need to do.

And as I sent dad to the airport and watched his tired and lonely figure head towards the gate, I feel sorry. That hug meant a lot to me, and, it's hurts to say this, but I don't think I would have understood you the man that you are if it wasn't for the past year. It's not anybody's fault, but I'm really sorry I can't do anything for you. Not now at least. Please wait for me as I overcome these puny obstacles one at a time.



Randomly Shing02's "Luv Sic Part 2" comes into my mind, as I hum to these 2 stanzas I love the most:
"Every morn I awake from a cavernous night
Sometimes still pondering the previous plight
Seems life done changed, long time no speak
Nowadays I often forget the day of the week"

"That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... (we need it so we don't forget); forget that there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours... (and that's) hope."
- Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption.

So evidently

Speak of l.o.v.e. so easily
Give up l.o.v.e. so readily

Einbahnstraße

Feel the coldness of the night breeze, I freeze
When I feel the warmth of your body that you release
I think of the morning rays that used to symbolize hope
But I feel squeezed at the pit bottom of the rhizome
How did this happen faster than I could ink
How did they turn their back against us in a blink
I sink, I sank, I sunk, sixty six feet deep
A coast to toast, here's to your warm blooded weeps
The vinyl plays that shit on repeat, looping that shit
Thinking why I ain't moved, you're so pathetic
Don't be sympathetic, just be empathetic
I know you feeling the same lone in your stomach's pit
So take it easy, make it easy for both you and me
And one day the world would be a better place to be

That's the only direction it can take. It's the only one it must take.

I can't miss you enough.

I don't know why these pictures always makes me want to cry in tears of both sorrow and joy. I was just.. bored and sick of all the school work I decided to message Sabine and ask if they celebrate Halloween as well. That was all.

And then she sends me back pictures of the their Halloween preparations and quite honestly, I was literally ROTFL when I saw the picture of little Leo dressed in his skeleton costume. I got up, instantly shared these pictures with Cheryl and Jeslyn (without Sabine's permission, heh). I just couldnt contain the gush of happiness I felt seeing the fun they're having.

Gosh I miss Münster.

Just pondering a question in my head these few days after conversations with Druga, Jeslyn and Wai Kit as I've somehow met them relatively frequently this semester. I wonder if it's just me holding on tightly to these special memories of Münster, or if everyone else feels the same. Certainly for Druga and Jeslyn I'm sure it meant a lot to them; but for the rest.. I'm not sure anymore.

I think of the last day when we departed Münster for our other respective destinations, and I recall everyone promising themselves that they will one day return to this magical place and visit their host families. Yeah bullshit. Some day when everyone's gotten a job, had the opportunity to travel as widely as they want and can, perhaps this place will just be reduced to "a trip" we had to Europe.

But to me it will always be THE trip.

It's the space and time that all comes together to make sense to everything. And I thank NUS and Wipdaf for making all of these happen. Which is why I will always write letters and cards to them over the festive seasons to greet them and ask them how they are doing. Perhaps it would all have been better if things didn't happen back at home, but well.. everything must have happened for a reason. I've seized it; I've made the best of my opportunity learning the language, being exposed to the culture and all... And with the company of the other students and our host families, really, how can anyone forget this place or the people?

And yet, some do. Memories somehow feel so surreal and overrated. I recall Kat used to love this quote: "Feelings will go away, but memories will stay", and even though we're not even friends now, I still remember a lot of these little things that happen in my life. Yet memories... don't mean anything at all. In the end, one simply 'undo' these memories by untagging themselves off pictures, and deleting them. It's that simple.

Nothing is eternal, but I'm glad I made the trip to Paris even though I was so reluctant to. I just knew these god damn memories will get back at me at Paris, but still, I'm glad even newer memories came into the frame. But we sink back into reality back home, and soon. These memories fade, and reduce to nothingness.

So perhaps it's time to go.. Or is it yet?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that Friday after Halloween, I went to meet up with Jeslyn after Aikido training to have supper/ coffee at Holland Village. Somehow I was feeling down that I was among the 3 other seniors who turned up for training today. Siyuan left early, and I felt so alone that my other friends, Sarun in particular, had left the club.

I miss those days training with him; he was always a joy to have at training, and someone funny, jovial yet mature. Someone whom I felt comfortable working and planning all the CCA activities with, someone I felt I could confide my relationship problems in. He is afterall, much older than we are for a year one student, haha. Out of the blue I decided to text him, and asked him if we could meet for breakfast or something before the semester ends. Man is he busy since he got attached haha. But well, I can understand how people change their priorities. I'm glad he's found something else that he enjoys doing :) We'll definitely meet for breakfast @ Tembusu again haha.

Anyways, it's always a pleasure chatting with Jeslyn, and I felt so much better after the long conversation (we left Xin Wang HK Cafe at about 1:40 am or something I think). Tried to get Sita to come along but she was busy, sigh. But we'll have plenty of chances in Sem II before I head off to Germany I'm sure.

Thanks Jeslyn for being my friend.

And, on a random note, if Aidan you're reading (you're the only loyal fan I know of this blog haha), I hope you're doing fine. Can't wait to meet you back in Singapore.

Cheers to health and peace. Because they're the most important of all. and then comes your principles and values. I'm happy that you're happy, my friends.

再見了，泰順街

你們也搬家了。我們以前盡力捍衛的家園也賣掉了，也該是分錢的時候了。

我們常把回憶挂在嘴邊，但或許..我們大家太高估每一段美麗的回憶了，因爲到最後... 還有誰記得以前一切的一切呢

到底是爲了誰，到底是爲了什麽，把家裏搞到這樣呢

只希望總有一天會風平浪靜

再見了，泰順街。

再見了，我的童年。

我們向前走吧

week 9?!

from the heavens to the world to the heavens again
from the ending to the ending, never got to begin

sense the serene

Am I a dreamer? Dreaming about the good life
Beautiful house, beautiful children, with a beautiful wife
Far away from the miseries of the shallow cities
Far away from nine to fivers in the cubicle office
But this stress arises cause I'm here tryna be there
Sweating a future I'm not sure will even be there
I hear that global warming 'bout to burn us up
And the climate's changing; the future is dark
This inertia's problematic cause I don't wanna think
Hoping today's sorrows will flow through this ink
But each moment's beautiful like each beautiful wink
Perfectly disguised as hell if you find the missing link
It always happens after the death of your own time
And after you find the missing depth of your dimes
I fear for a future that has no 'you' and 'i' in it
But for now I sense the serene in every single minute

lovers and friends from start to end

that's why you should sleep early. keeps you from having these crazy thoughts.

and yes i still miss y'all.

金言幾句

今天閲到這幾句金言，好像還蠻值得參考學習~

*********************************
人在什麼時候最清醒?

1、天災降臨後。2、東窗事發後。3、大禍臨頭後。4、重病纏身後。
5、遭受重挫後。6、退休閒暇後。

人在什麼時候最糊塗?

1、春風得意時。2、來錢容易時。3、得權專橫時。4、迷戀情愛時。
5、想佔便宜時。6、老年癡呆時。

**********************************

一語道破！

1、世界上難以---自拔的，除了牙齒，還有愛情。

2、廢話，是人際交往的第一句話。

3、現實中，人們用真名講假話；虛擬中，人們用假名講真話。

4、生時---何需久睡，死後---自會長眠。

5、痛苦，本來就是清醒的人，才能擁有的享受。

6、大學就是---大概學學。

7、所謂長大，就是你知道那是什麼事；
所謂成熟，就是你知道後，故意說不知道。

8、感情經得起風雨，卻經不起平淡；
友情經得起平淡，卻經不起風雨。

9、願意留下來，跟你吵的人，才是真正愛你的人。
在乎你，才爭才吵。留下來的，是不離不棄。

10、謊言與誓言的區別在於：
一個是聽的人--當真了，一個是說的人--當真了。

11、回憶，是通往寂寞的牢。

12、對自己好點，因為，一輩子---不長；
對身邊的人好點，因為~下輩子不一定能---碰到。

a place without tears

Call this sentimental, call this emotional
They call whatever they want it, it's personal
But never for a second do I doubt this feeling
'Cause it's hard moving on from the previous reeling
The sun rays tell me each day will only get better
But every night that passes gets bitter and bitter
Empty promises on letters, now just waste papers
Hoping someday we'll meet in a place without tears

243

this is for the people always feeling trapped
got nowhere better to go so we always go back
piling stacks of life, resourcefully abundant
but can't help always feeling this redundant
that shit repugnant, gliding through great disruptions
the only proof you see is in that manifestation
this congregation of constructed institutions
is killing my natural instincts and intuition
rolling forward but retarded in inertia
developed by my habit of developing pyrexia
it comes from nowhere and suddenly, kaboom
like a dormant spore only destined to bloom
but i'm honestly sick of waiting for shit to happen
an opened can of worms sinking right in tandem
needing oxygen to sustain my resurrection
but always waking up to this god-damn situation

우산

어느새 빗물이    내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pitmuli  nae balmoke koyigo
참았던 눈물이    내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli        nae nungae kohigo
I cry~


텅빈 방엔 시계소리       지붕과 입 맞추는 비의 소리
tongpin bangen shigyosori       shibongwa ip machuneun biwi sori
오랜만에 입은       코트 주머니속에 반지
oraenmane ibeun       koteu chumonisoge panchi
손틈새 스며드는 memory       며칠만에 나서보는 밤의 서울
sonteumsae seumyodeuneun memory       myochlmane nasoboneun pami seoul
고인 빗물은 작은 거울       그 속에 난 비틀거리며
goin pitmuleun chaneun koul       geu sone nan pikeulgorimyo
아프니까 그대 없이 난       한쪽 다리가 짧은 의자
apeunigga geudae obni nan       hanchok daliga chapleun uicha
둘이서 쓰긴 작았던 우산       차가운 세상에 섬 같았던 우산
dulishi sseugin chagatton usan       chagaun sesange som gatatton usan
이젠 너무 크고 어색해       그대 곁에 늘 젖어있던 왼쪽어깨
yichen nomu geuko osaenhae       geutae gyote neul chotoyitton winchokottae
기억의 무게에 고개 숙여보니       버려진듯 풀어진 내 신발끈
gionui mukehe kokae sukyoponi       poryochindeut pulochin nae shinbalggeun
허나 곁엔 오직 비와 바람 없다       잠시라도 우산을 들어 줄 사람
hona gyoten oshin piwa param opda       chamsirado usaneul deul chul saram
and I cry~


어느새 빗물이       내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pitmuli       nae palmoge goyigo
참았던 눈물이       내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli       nae nungae goyigo
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moriwie usan       oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geutaega       seupgwani dwioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요       
nan geudaeopineun andwiyo

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go


하늘의 눈물이 고인 땅       별을 감춘 구름에 보인 달
haneului nunmuli koin ttang      pyoreul gamchun guleume boin dal 
골목길 홀로 외로운 구두 소리       메아리에 돌아보며
golmongil hollo uiloun gudu sori       mearie dolabomyo
가슴 졸인 맘       나를 꼭 닮은 그림자
gaseum cholin mam       nareul ggon damreun geulimcha
서로가 서로를 볼 수 없었던       우리가
soroga soroleul pol su opsotton       uliga
이제야 둘인가       대답을 그리다
icheya dulinga       daedapeul geurida
머리 속 그림과 대답을 흐린다       내 눈엔 너무 컸던 우산
mori sok geulimgwa daedapeul heurinda       nae nunen nomu kotton usan
날 울린 세상을 향해 접던 우산       영원의 약속에 활짝 폈던 우산
nal urrin sesangeul hyanghae chopton usan       yongwonui yaksoke hwalchak pyotton usan
이제는 찢겨진 우산       아래 두 맘
icheneun chitgyashin usan       arae du mam
돌아봐도 이제는 없겠죠       두 손은 주머니 속 깊게 넣겠죠
dolabwado icheneun opgettchyo       du soneun chumoni sok gipge nohgettchyo
이리저리 자유롭게 걸어도       두 볼은 가랑비도 쉽게 젖겠죠
iricholi chayulopge golodo       du poleun galangbido swipge chotgettchyo

어느새 빗물이       내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pimuli       nae balmoke goyigo
참았던 눈물이       내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli       nae nungae goyigo
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moriwie usan       oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geudaega       seupgwani duioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요
nan geudaeopsineun andwiyo

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go


난 열어놨어 내 맘의 문을       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
nan yoronwao nae mamui muneul       geudaen nae mori uie usan
그대의 그림자는 나의 그늘       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
geudaeui geurimchaneun nawi usan       geudaen nae mori uie usan
난 열어놨어 내 맘의 문을       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
nan yoronwao nae mamui muneul       geudaen nae mori uie usan
그대의 그림자는 나의 그늘       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
geudaeui geurimchaneun nawi usan       geudaen nae mori uie usan
나의 곁에 그대가 없기에       내 창밖에 우산을 들고
naui gyote geudaega opgie       nae champakke usaneul deulgo
기다리던 그대
kidaridon geudae
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moli uie usan       okkaeuie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geudaega       seupgani duioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요       그대는 내 머리위에 우산
nan geudaeopineun andwiyo       geudaeneun nae moli uie usan
어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤       내 곁에 그대가
oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam       nae gyote geudaega
없는 반쪽의 세상       그댄 나 없이는 안돼요
opneun pamchonui sesang       geudaen na opsineun andwiyo
forever in the rain~



Suddenly the rain has gathered at my feet
The tears that I held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

The sound of the clock in an empty room
The sound of the rain hitting the roof and my lips
The ring inside the coat I haven’t worn in a while
The gathering memory
The Seoul I haven’t seen in a few days
The gathered rain are like little mirrors
Within them I struggle because it hurts
Without you I’m like a chair with a short leg
The umbrella that was too small for the both of us
The umbrella that shielded us from the cold world
Now seems much to big and awkward.
Your left shoulder always got so wet
I hang my head with the weight of the memories
My shoelaces are untied, undone
Now all thats next to me is the rain and wind (not there)
a person that will hold my umbrella for a while
and I cry~

A puddle of rain has gathered around my feet
The tears that I ~held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

CHORUS
You are the umbrella above my head
The cold rain falling above my shoulders in night
You next to me has become a habit
I cant be without you

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go

The ground has gathered the tears of the sky
I can see the moon behind the star blocking clouds
The sound of lonely shoes echo down the alley
I turn around
Its just heart wrenching night
A shadow that looks just like me
The us that couldn’t see us
Are we two now?
The answer is lonely
The picture in my mind and my response is vague
The umbrella that was too big in my eyes
The umbrella I close facing the world that made me cry
The umbrella that I opened with the promise of forever
Under the now ripped umbrella are two hearts
I guess even though I turn you wont be there
I put my two hands deep inside my pockets
Even though I walk carefree
My two cheeks will easily become wet
Suddenly the rain has gathered at my feet
The tears that I held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

CHORUS
I opened the door of my heart
you’re the umbrella above my head
You are my shadow, I am your shade
You’re the umbrella above my head
I opened the door of my heart
you’re the umbrella above my head
You are my shadow, I am your shade
You’re the umbrella above my head

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go

Because you are not next to me
I waited outside with an umbrella
outside your house
I cry~

CHORUS
You are the umbrella above my head
The cold rain falling above my shoulders in night
The world is in two pieces without you next to me
you cant be without me
forever in the rain~