우산

어느새 빗물이    내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pitmuli  nae balmoke koyigo
참았던 눈물이    내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli        nae nungae kohigo
I cry~


텅빈 방엔 시계소리       지붕과 입 맞추는 비의 소리
tongpin bangen shigyosori       shibongwa ip machuneun biwi sori
오랜만에 입은       코트 주머니속에 반지
oraenmane ibeun       koteu chumonisoge panchi
손틈새 스며드는 memory       며칠만에 나서보는 밤의 서울
sonteumsae seumyodeuneun memory       myochlmane nasoboneun pami seoul
고인 빗물은 작은 거울       그 속에 난 비틀거리며
goin pitmuleun chaneun koul       geu sone nan pikeulgorimyo
아프니까 그대 없이 난       한쪽 다리가 짧은 의자
apeunigga geudae obni nan       hanchok daliga chapleun uicha
둘이서 쓰긴 작았던 우산       차가운 세상에 섬 같았던 우산
dulishi sseugin chagatton usan       chagaun sesange som gatatton usan
이젠 너무 크고 어색해       그대 곁에 늘 젖어있던 왼쪽어깨
yichen nomu geuko osaenhae       geutae gyote neul chotoyitton winchokottae
기억의 무게에 고개 숙여보니       버려진듯 풀어진 내 신발끈
gionui mukehe kokae sukyoponi       poryochindeut pulochin nae shinbalggeun
허나 곁엔 오직 비와 바람 없다       잠시라도 우산을 들어 줄 사람
hona gyoten oshin piwa param opda       chamsirado usaneul deul chul saram
and I cry~


어느새 빗물이       내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pitmuli       nae palmoge goyigo
참았던 눈물이       내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli       nae nungae goyigo
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moriwie usan       oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geutaega       seupgwani dwioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요       
nan geudaeopineun andwiyo

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go


하늘의 눈물이 고인 땅       별을 감춘 구름에 보인 달
haneului nunmuli koin ttang      pyoreul gamchun guleume boin dal 
골목길 홀로 외로운 구두 소리       메아리에 돌아보며
golmongil hollo uiloun gudu sori       mearie dolabomyo
가슴 졸인 맘       나를 꼭 닮은 그림자
gaseum cholin mam       nareul ggon damreun geulimcha
서로가 서로를 볼 수 없었던       우리가
soroga soroleul pol su opsotton       uliga
이제야 둘인가       대답을 그리다
icheya dulinga       daedapeul geurida
머리 속 그림과 대답을 흐린다       내 눈엔 너무 컸던 우산
mori sok geulimgwa daedapeul heurinda       nae nunen nomu kotton usan
날 울린 세상을 향해 접던 우산       영원의 약속에 활짝 폈던 우산
nal urrin sesangeul hyanghae chopton usan       yongwonui yaksoke hwalchak pyotton usan
이제는 찢겨진 우산       아래 두 맘
icheneun chitgyashin usan       arae du mam
돌아봐도 이제는 없겠죠       두 손은 주머니 속 깊게 넣겠죠
dolabwado icheneun opgettchyo       du soneun chumoni sok gipge nohgettchyo
이리저리 자유롭게 걸어도       두 볼은 가랑비도 쉽게 젖겠죠
iricholi chayulopge golodo       du poleun galangbido swipge chotgettchyo

어느새 빗물이       내 발목에 고이고
oneusae pimuli       nae balmoke goyigo
참았던 눈물이       내 눈가에 고이고
chamatton nunmuli       nae nungae goyigo
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moriwie usan       oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geudaega       seupgwani duioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요
nan geudaeopsineun andwiyo

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go


난 열어놨어 내 맘의 문을       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
nan yoronwao nae mamui muneul       geudaen nae mori uie usan
그대의 그림자는 나의 그늘       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
geudaeui geurimchaneun nawi usan       geudaen nae mori uie usan
난 열어놨어 내 맘의 문을       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
nan yoronwao nae mamui muneul       geudaen nae mori uie usan
그대의 그림자는 나의 그늘       그댄 내 머리 위에 우산
geudaeui geurimchaneun nawi usan       geudaen nae mori uie usan
나의 곁에 그대가 없기에       내 창밖에 우산을 들고
naui gyote geudaega opgie       nae champakke usaneul deulgo
기다리던 그대
kidaridon geudae
I cry~

그대는 내 머리위에 우산       어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤
geudaeneun nae moli uie usan       okkaeuie chagaun bi naerineun bam
내 곁에 그대가       습관이 되어버린 나
nae gyote geudaega       seupgani duioborin na
난 그대없이는 안되요       그대는 내 머리위에 우산
nan geudaeopineun andwiyo       geudaeneun nae moli uie usan
어깨위에 차가운 비 내리는 밤       내 곁에 그대가
oggaewie chagaun bi naerineun bam       nae gyote geudaega
없는 반쪽의 세상       그댄 나 없이는 안돼요
opneun pamchonui sesang       geudaen na opsineun andwiyo
forever in the rain~



Suddenly the rain has gathered at my feet
The tears that I held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

The sound of the clock in an empty room
The sound of the rain hitting the roof and my lips
The ring inside the coat I haven’t worn in a while
The gathering memory
The Seoul I haven’t seen in a few days
The gathered rain are like little mirrors
Within them I struggle because it hurts
Without you I’m like a chair with a short leg
The umbrella that was too small for the both of us
The umbrella that shielded us from the cold world
Now seems much to big and awkward.
Your left shoulder always got so wet
I hang my head with the weight of the memories
My shoelaces are untied, undone
Now all thats next to me is the rain and wind (not there)
a person that will hold my umbrella for a while
and I cry~

A puddle of rain has gathered around my feet
The tears that I ~held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

CHORUS
You are the umbrella above my head
The cold rain falling above my shoulders in night
You next to me has become a habit
I cant be without you

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go

The ground has gathered the tears of the sky
I can see the moon behind the star blocking clouds
The sound of lonely shoes echo down the alley
I turn around
Its just heart wrenching night
A shadow that looks just like me
The us that couldn’t see us
Are we two now?
The answer is lonely
The picture in my mind and my response is vague
The umbrella that was too big in my eyes
The umbrella I close facing the world that made me cry
The umbrella that I opened with the promise of forever
Under the now ripped umbrella are two hearts
I guess even though I turn you wont be there
I put my two hands deep inside my pockets
Even though I walk carefree
My two cheeks will easily become wet
Suddenly the rain has gathered at my feet
The tears that I held in are welling around my eyes
I cry~

CHORUS
I opened the door of my heart
you’re the umbrella above my head
You are my shadow, I am your shade
You’re the umbrella above my head
I opened the door of my heart
you’re the umbrella above my head
You are my shadow, I am your shade
You’re the umbrella above my head

alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
girl i just want you to know
alone in the rain, rain, rain       nothing but pain, pain, pain
and i just can't let you go

Because you are not next to me
I waited outside with an umbrella
outside your house
I cry~

CHORUS
You are the umbrella above my head
The cold rain falling above my shoulders in night
The world is in two pieces without you next to me
you cant be without me
forever in the rain~

rainy days like these

alone in the rain rain rain
nothing but pain pain pain

and it just wont stop raining these few days
feeling a little bit sick to the stomach

but by tomorrow i'll be fine. as always.

reminiscence of disjointed dots

Yet the rain doesn't stop dripping into the hollow block
Knocking upon reminiscence of disjointed dots

after all these months

"Um, third time's the charm, hopefully

When I chime on your door you'd still let me in

After all these years, the room you caved in my heart

Is exactly the same as you had left it

I realize that you have moved on

New styles and cliques like them silent flicks

I'm speechless in this golden occasion

The beautiful expression on the silver creation"

slipping away

hello, how are you?

my little man slash poet slash mc.

you might be busy with school and learning german, economics, political science and getting ready for further studies in germany in the future.

i know sometimes it feels like this dream feels like a distant memory because you don't even have much skills.

but hey.

you do remember what it was like writing your first rhyme, right? i know it's hard, but don't let that feeling slip away.

rest well, else your health's gonna recline again.

hard

must not complain.

the life altering moment when mum left us.

life is hard but nobody said it was gonna be easy.

must not complain.

new mottos

must not complain.

must bring change.

must get it done.

我們什麽都不是

因爲到最後，

我們什麽都不是。

恭喜好朋友Cheryl今晚2013年7月15日以最高榮譽學位化學科學士順利畢業。
而什麽時候會輪到我呢？


期待爸爸看到我畢業的那一天

happy birthday to me

Dear family and friends, thank you for your wishes, whether virtual, in voice, via text or in person. Each and every one of them have been well-received, and I appreciate them all, whether you're a friend new or old, close or distant.

To be honest, I hesitated writing this note because I've always been one who's quick to show my disapproval of those who facebook their problems, instead of facing them (though I know I'm guilty of it sometimes >.<). But I suppose they have their reasons for doing so, and, well, I'm no different.

It's been a crazy year since my last birthday.

Last birthday, I recall spending time at a Grill party with friends whom I've spent a significant amount of time with in Germany. That was one of the few great moments last year.

And something struck so bad (something which some of my closer friends know about), and instantly it became so hard juggling housework at home, work in school, and a job I couldn't quit because I had made a promise to an ailing teacher to see his students through PSLE. He eventually passed away, which left me pretty much in a limbo.

I started turning up late for school, constantly not having enough sleep, and neglecting my then girlfriend.

Meanwhile I grew distant with friends, stopped going for soccer, and eventually, had my girlfriend ignore her way out of a relationship, which, to be honest, I couldn't quite handle anymore. I wasn't doing well for anything actually. I struggled to attend Aikido training sessions, struggled to keep up my passion for German, I struggled to put on a happy face when I meet the kids during every Sunday class.

Ain't trying to find excuses, but I just can't tell you how glad that I survived 2012, and see that my students had all done reasonably well, well enough to go on to their respective secondary schools. And I just can't tell you how glad I am to have continued with German (hence some good friend(s), and me being better prepared to go on exchange soon). Just can't tell you how glad I am to have persisted with Aikido (hence attaining 6th Kyu, and enjoying every training session that I'm able to attend!).

Even till today, sometimes I get annoyed with the constant bickering with siblings because of the new roles all of us learn to adapt to. I get jaded sometimes, but looking back on the experience accumulated, though I can't figure out whether they've been good or bad, I'm definitely sure they've made me grown. And I'm still learning every day.

I'm just glad I made it this old.

For my host family who keeps in touch with me, reminding me of the good times I had in Muenster, Germany, I thank you so much for reminding me of the little happy things that every student should treasure while being a student.

For the friends who understand me, stood by me, and kept in touch with me on a frequent basis, thank you for your care, concern, and for bring joy and laughters into my life always!

And as for my dad, I think you're the most capable person ever. Your strength to carry on through adversity inspires me whenever I lose my passion for life. Trying so hard to give me the life you never had, for that I love you, sincerely and truly.

And I hope one day I have the courage to say them to you in person. And one day I swear I'll give you the life you deserve.

I love you.

Sometimes I get annoyed with the constant bickering with siblings because of the new roles all of us had to learn to adapt to. 

累

老實說,在這個只有我在乎的家庭裏存在著，很累

不能跟別人怨一聲‘累’，我只好又回來找你這個又笨又呆的部落格發一下牢騷

因爲只有你不會訂我嘴，又會一字不漏的把它們全記載下來

還是你可靠

因爲23嵗生日這一天，我並不覺得特別，只覺得自己一點用處都沒有，一點被別人珍惜的感覺也沒有

有時想找個遠在韓國的朋友訴苦，但又不想打擾別人

還是自己振作起來，加油吧

useless prick, ha.

Sometimes I feel like a useless prick
Falling to diseases that make me sick

And that was how I spent my fucking 23rd birthday.

At my aunt's place while I seek solace in this place.

another tired night

sometimes i feel tired, and the indecision is killing me
swaying moods like the moon, aint no one feeling me

Land of the cross

"Look up to the cross, stranded in the land of the lost"

happy father's day

Just yesterday.

Birth of another widow, and the loss of a dad on the eve of father's day.

For if you had a father, you should make every day a father's day.

and... i don't know what else to say.

happy father's day.

Addiction to Dreams

You know, I've always somewhat understood why some people would want to go back to dreaming every day in "Inception".

And now, I get a taste of that understanding. Some people don't dream at night, like I don't when I was busy with both school, aikido and family all at the same time. And once everything slows down, I'm having them really frequently, even during short naps I take after exercises and shit.

I think I'm addicted to dreams.

Dreaming about things that will never come back again.



Like my mother pulling me out of bed waking me up for school.

Like she waking me up from afternoon naps to have dinner.

Like she randomly calling me up when I was in my first NUS semester, asking me if I had the time to join her for lunch or dinner or tea outside.

Like she calling me up to buy some groceries or bubble tea.

Like she fetching me from home to my army camp.

Like she asking me to buy lottery tickets when the prize awards were really huge.

Like when the whole family went to Switzerland and Paris together cause that was the point in my life I knew I had a happy family.

Like when I looked forward to your dishes whenever you asked us to come up with a menu and then you would do your best to have a sumptuous dinner for us after a long day in school, but suddenly after shit happened you never cooked another dish for us ever again.

Like when you and I and sis would walk Angel together and discuss about the happenings in our life, and you telling me what a bitch Wanying was, and how manipulative/ gullible I was.

Like me telling you how lousy I felt when I was rejected by my first crush in secondary school, and your only calm response was 天涯何處無芳草？

Like you helping me with my Arts homework in primary school because even though I loved drawing, I never was good at it?

Like the first time the kids saw snow for the first time in our lives, and you played snowball fight with us in the Swiss snow.

Like you telling me to always have a positive outlook on life, until you yourself crashed and never picked yourself up again.

And after you left, the family's putting up a false image that everything's okay when nothing is okay. I know sometimes at night my sister cries to herself, wishing that she could go back to the days when you two spent so much time together. I know sometimes my lil brother is rebellious, because he wished he didn't take you for granted when you were there for him. I know dad is angry with an internal volcano erupting 24/7, but deep inside he loves you and hopes that one day you come to your senses. And as for me I've always treated you as my best friend, and others would get all jealous and envious that I had a cool mum like you did who would ask me to hang up my long calls, unless except if it was a conversation with another girl. A friend who I could share my thoughts, jokes and opinions with. Like my mother who would be cool and trustful of where I went to after school as long as I told her where I was going. You've changed, and the family aint gonna come back ever again.



Like my grandaunt who brought me to Da An Forest Park in Taipei, to feed the ducks when I was just a toddler. A toddler I may have been, but those memories are so vivid.

Like my grandaunt who would buy tons of Yakult just because I told her I loved it, but how she enjoyed watching me eat tonnes of food that she bought (though it made me really fat and chubby at the time).

Like how I would visit her every time I went back Taiwan because her health was reclining and she couldn't move around much except to grandma's place.

Like how we went over to your place after you were discharged from the hospital for the second time, and you were sharing with us your new soft toys that your grandchildren had given you.

Like how it was cool that some device was attached to your favorite soft toys so that you could call Aunt Xiaohua whenever you needed help. But still Aunt Xiaohua said you were always so reluctant to push the button and would always try to do things on your own because you didn't want to trouble her.

And after her death, I can only dream of the times she treated me well when she was healthy. And now all I could ever think of are the images of you lying lifeless on the hospital bed, while sis and I cry inside our hearts because I ain't never seen you in such a horrible state before. You didn't deserve to die the way you did, because you've always spent so much time and effort doing sports, scaling mountains, taking care of your children. The sight of Aunt Xiaohua always taking care of you was so heart-warming because you've done such a good job raising your children, and now when it's her turn to take care of you, she decided to quit her job so that she could always be by your side. But I couldn't.




Like when she confessed that she liked me too in the rain under the basilica Sacre Coeur Paris.


Like when she and I ditched our friends to have a date at the Eiffel Tower.

Like when she would still call me when I was busy teaching the kids.

Like when we held each other's hands throughout the entire journey back home from Europe and I could feel my sweat in her palms.

Like when she called me at nights during my first ICT.

Like when she told me she loved me, but I told her I couldn't say the same to her until I was sure that she was the right girl. And eventually I did, but, was it all bad-timing?

Like when we had our first date in Singapore along the beach and were just lying on the rock and stargazing, sharing our life before all this sharing became 'reporting'.

Like when she cried telling me that she wants to take the same German class as me but could not because I had to take care of my family in the afternoon and evenings.

Like when she just wanted to spend more time talking to me, but I was just exhausted from school, aikido, tuition and the family, and calling almost every motherfucker out there just to beg my mum to come back home.

And somehow, when I thought she would love me forever and that I was going to marry her, things changed and she didn't love me anymore. At the point of time, it hurt me so bad that she didn't do anything to salvage the relationship, but instead, she went on ignoring me. On hindsight, don't blame me for hurting you; you didn't love me enough to want me back. And so the only regret I have is to have loved someone who never really loved me in the first place.So stop acting like you're the victim, when you acted the way you did and then have your friend telling some other NYJC friends about how I was rejected at your door step, because they came up to ask if it was true. I loved you, and at the point in time, it was all true. All the more I'm glad that I've let you free.



Like when I first got to know John at an interview - yes - at the hospital, and I ain't never been to a hospital since my grandaunt because I hate the feeling of my memories locked in there. But how I would come to respect a teacher whom I barely knew, but from my conversation with your wife and your students, I would know that you're a dedicated teacher who spent loads of time and effort on teaching.

Like when I was teaching tuition and the kids loved the way I taught, and always asked me to extend the class or have an extra class - sorry I just didnt have the time and energy to put in extra effort. Though I'm glad the extra oral lessons helped you guys a little.

Like when I received news from them that they all have improved their grades for PSLE English.

And I know I'll never get another enjoyable tuition class like you guys. I'll probably never go back to teaching at a lower level again, and John, you were an amazing employer even though I was on my own teaching the kids for most of the time, especially after you were gone. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, and even though I still don't know if teaching is meant for me, I'm glad I had a taste of what it's like.



Like when I was always down and blue we would just say, 'hey, how about some kalua'?

Like how I would ask her out on valentines day to hang out because I didn't know better - and I was just thinking of asking a good girl-friend out for a meal before she would leave Singapore for good.

Like when we had our last kalua session and your poured your heart out telling me about your fears and shit. And how time flew so fast since we met each other in JC.

Like when she left for Korea, and I think we were almost this close to being a couple - but fortunately we did not, otherwise I think things would have turned out really awkward for us.

Like when she scolded me for some weird reasons I couldn't understand, but came back to reread them and understand them a lot better after joanna and i broke up.

Sometimes we all need to learn painful lessons.


Now I'm more independent, dealing with all this shit on my own but I've still gotta stay positive. Some friends don't understand exactly what happened to cause me to disappear from their groups since my busy times. And fuck it, whatever man. You guys never understood, never tried to understand, then blame me. I don't need lousy friends like you.


Don't come up to me calling me 'oppa' and shit when you never gave a shit about me - cause you're more concerned about your relationship with your friend than whether your friend is doing the right thing or not. Face it, you're not gonna call me out of the blue to chat. Wait, you never even bothered replying to my texts or my calls. You're not gonna ask me out for coffee. Naw, friendship ain't all that.

So I'm ditching the past and starting from scratch.

And it's just me, my mind, my raps and my rhymes. And this addiction to dreams that I've gotta quit.

random rhymes from a broken mind

And the gods judge me when I raise them doubts

And motherfuckers too cause I stand odd out

Everyone wants to be that odd-one out...

That makes everyone puffs of the same cloud

Hold up, close your mouth for this moment

I rewind, a year ago, before my fam was broken

We were all smiles with occasional arguments

Were those smiles fake or was I just hidden

From the scenes that were taking place backstage

If I could freeze that chapter, fuck that other page

Cause age don't measure time it's a state of mind

Twenty two, still hoping I the next in line

For my first break, end the wait before my last wake

Cause I never learned how to apply them breaks

Chasin' dreams of goalless destinations

Twenty two years man, still the incarceration

random rhymes from a broken mind

social networking

This social network is causing a lot of envy
Lots of cats wanna be online celebrities
Raking in the dough like a black hole for cash
Going for soul, going solo, producing thrash
Liking this and liking that cause I click for free
We love the white noise giving kicks for free

no apologies

I'm losing sleep for no reason man.. Fucking worried I'm falling into depression again.

But somehow listening to rap and writing a few lines makes me feel a lot more optimistic.

Trying to get some sleep and study tomorrow. Cause I've been so fucking unproductive in the past 6 months or so.

I'm sorry I'm so uncommitted. Sorry to both you guys and myself. And I really don't want that anymore. And I want to throw everything away right now at this moment.

And aidan if you're reading this, I'm grateful anyone is even reading this almost defunct blog. Grateful, because I haven't been around for you during these lonely two years you were here, yet you stick up with all the bullshit and stuff like that.

I'm glad I had written to you when you were away in New Zealand. I'm glad I had met Yu Xiang, the rebellious and profanity-speaking kid at age 15. I'm glad I'm no longer that Chinese geek who reads martial arts novels alone in the library all day. I'm glad I started listening to rap and freestyling whack verses at yx's place. If not for that I don't think I'll know who I am. I'd probably still be pointing fingers at the sky and blaming my double-identity. and blaming my parents for placing me in an English-speaking society. Think about what my life would have been... had it not been the influence of Kinetik, and rap in my life.

I think about how my closed-mindset and always wanting to preserve my taiwanese-ness for some conservative fucked up reason. And you know, I get discouraged very easily over some small set-backs that you probably think are small issues.

You know, even though I haven't been writing much, I've been practicing my vocals and rapping over old songs just to improve on my articulation. I listen to my vocals, and I feel good that I'm vocalizing words a lot clearer these days. No more clearing the 'air' kind of weird tones, just plain rap. And I worry, because I've felt like this before; feeling confident about my flow and lyric skills, only to be let down when I stand up to the mic, or struggle to come up with verses during recording.

But I know there isn't anything called half-way there, and I really don't want to go back to the life I once had. Because I've changed so much, I kept asking if I even know myself anymore. And that kind of frightened me a little, so I thought that I had to come clean with y'all.

I'm secretly scared of a lot of things. Which is why I wanted to write something on 'cowardice'. Maybe it's got to do with all the deaths and betrayals I've experienced during the past 2 to 3 years or so - I get more and more pessimistic about being with people. Truth be told, I thought Joanna would be there for me during the hardest times for me, and at one childish time I thought to myself, yes, I'm gonna marry this girl. And then everything crumbled, even harder to take because of the way my mum had left me, and now Joanna too.

I spent a significant amount of time angry at myself - wondering if the problem lies with me, whether my life is fated to be around untrustworthy people. I hide in a hermit shell like a fucking cancer sign - always seeking comfort at home, dilly dallying and trying to study even though nothing goes in. I try to feel as passionate about German as I was - but even that dies out for me sometimes when I feel so disconnected with what I found so appealing about Germany.

But Germany remains a place of opportunities, and man I tell you, we really need to go there to expand. It's not some stupid fetish I arrived at - I genuinely think (and I know) that there's a lot to explore and learn over there. You might disagree with me... but that's alright. That's an argument for the future, and at the moment, we def need to come up with some hit music to get the ball rolling.

Oh shoot. It's past 3am in the morning. Fuck my life honestly. And what's the previous angry post I posted about? Oh yea, that was about my life. I'm gonna win the loser in me over.

Because I'm the fucking protagonist of my life, and not some supporting role for someone else's.

At this point I feel like just breaking down and cry - because no one knows how I feel. But my circumstances ain't shit to someone else in the motherfucking 3rd world or some people living in poverty... So you know what.

Fuck the loser, fuck him cause he ain't shit
Burn the corpses of Gods who wrote me a life script
Tear it into half... I perform my magic
My life can be beautiful instead of a tragic
Feeling static, hitting an old plateau
But the whale ain't gonna eat me, this small little krill
I could rob and steal and live without morals
Fuck societal expectations, prescribed principles
But I've said that at least a thousand times in my rhymes
A fucking hypocrite who commits the same crimes
I'm tired of the same routine and conversation
It's about time we have less talk and more action...

好符合我目前心聲~

動力火車 

不甘心不放手

作詞：吳梵
作曲：吳梵
編曲：洪敬堯

不再執著於昨天的癡狂
我的心像是台北的街頭
不知該往哪兒走

妳的心像閃爍的霓虹
叫人迷戀卻也迷惑
我沒有把握
轉載來自 ※ Mojim.com　魔鏡歌詞網 

誰在慫恿夜的脆弱　撫平的傷又隱隱作痛
是誰說過不再回頭　還是讓妳淹沒了我
（將我淹沒）

想放棄卻不能甘心放手　留妳在夢中卻苦痛了我
等著傷心不如學會承受　反正妳不會是我的
想放棄卻不能甘心放手　留妳在夢中卻苦痛了我
等妳想起不如先忘記妳　反正離開妳的人是我

Eine Aufgabe von einer Freundin

You know they say it takes at least ten thousand hours
Building on the strengths and harnessing skills and powers
And you know how they say that graduate skill-less?
But how we supposed to learn under all this stress?
I mean, we learning useless stuff in college right?
But try "Public Speaking", and then pick up the mic
Without no rehearsal, no cue cards for referral
Appealing to the greater details of Aristole
The right confidence, but it ain't all that
Up there, the confidence that I thought I had
Vanishes quickly, then negativity rises
When I focus on what the final grade is
But now the semester draws a close, we disclose
I ain't the most awesome speaker, truth be told
But when I hear I echo Ethos, Pathos and Logos
I know I on the right track, speaking on a roll
And Dr. Trace-cee Loh, don't think I don't appreciate
I do, I thank you for what you disseminate
Ideas, tone, style, rationality and conviction
Public speaking, blown my mind out of proportion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzgyxA1PXH8(Original)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ_rxXhZ-Gk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upMug2L7o1E

Wann kann ich gute Deutsch sprechen und lesen?

Manchmal frage ich mich, was ich mit meinem Leben machen.

Und ich freue mich auf den Tag, der ich gute Deutsch sprechen und lesen kann.

Morgen treffe ich mit Ryan, der einen guten Cellospieler ist, um unsere Referat zu üben.

Mauerbau

Aus dem GAP Blog (Die Post war am 31. Jan geschrieben, aber nur heute schreibe ich über dieses Youtube Video!)

"Wenn Sie sich mehr über die “ehemalige Berliner Mauer” informieren wollen, schauen Sie sich das Video an."

fuck you for not telling the truth

It's okay, I got it right anyway.

You never fought to keep me, and so I don't blame you.

Pretending that you were hurt and making everyone think it's my fault when you the one who wanted out.

But you don't fucking act like I've done anything wrong, cause I know I haven't, and you just fucking childish.

I think I made the right decision, cause instead of being there for me when I needed somebody, you try to put me on the test and then it backfired and you became a hater.

I even read you thank your friend for that. Just fucking childish cause you could have just dealt with it yourself.

Coward.

words are cheap

but words are so cheap.. why can't you fucking afford it

godyouhatemeright

Untrustworthy, that's why the Bodhi tree

I had a conversation with a friend who believed
Empirical evidence, God's laws resonance
Do good right but forever be the devil dance
Felt pressure, at the jury of a shawshank
Plotted path, you do the math, tall order, balls shrank
At the mercy of your omnipotence
Mortal think tank, they watch us but who watch them
Love-hate relationship, grids on the battleship
Corrupt pigs with sugar rings, halos; that's a myth
Money driven fortune cookies, open box and you will see
QSH's path to eternity
The throne, race to the crown and overthrown
Scrutinize the chromosome, underneath the microscope
Missing ninjarous, hindrance, dangerous activities
Must be why tough love punishes and disciplines
Michel, please help, a beautiful mind, young and gay
Advancements backwards, the price that we pay
So which one, choose one you feel for and adore
Calendars, Mayan, sleeping on God's bathroom floors

Difficult years I will endure
Schwierigen Jahren ich werde ertragen

you must hate ugly, that's why you made me.

and i'm really convinced that god hates me

fuck you!
nah just kidding. i love you

Dear Buddha, I guess you've got it all right.

Life is full of struggle. In fact, life is struggle.

Got friends thinking, nah, that's no big deal. Perhaps not to you, but everyone thinks their problems' are more significant.

Till then, I can only hope that the ship steers itself into the clear.

trying to be as objective as i can but what am i to do?

so tell me, what is hell is really goin' on?

Yea.. shouldn't have said that to my brother. Was too rash.

I take that sentence back. Never should have said anything like that.

FUCK THIS SHIT WHY ANOTHER CYCLIC PROCESS OF CRISIS

flaw magnification

and the more you know about a person, the closer you get..

the bigger the magnified scale of his flaws.

mind imprisonment

try to keep my head down, focus on the matter at hand

try to break my fake frowns, focus on loved ones and friends

but the more i think, the more this cubicle shrinks

memory bank vaults for the emotional deposits

feelin' like, i got to wake up from this one bad dream

but the story goes on because thoughts come in streams

illustrations of a man's illustrious history, attractive

but a mind imprisoned 'cause a man guilty, negative

cny 2012

i guess we've successfully concluded this year's cny.

feels incomplete and abrupt, chaotic and shit. maybe it's just come too early in a calendar year.

nothing feels right, and.. geez, i'm happy but every now and then we all look back and feel silly.

missin' my cousins in brisbane. missin' taiwan relatives. missing how i used to write to overseas friends. missin' my past.. i guess.

but for now i'm happy i'm just trying to focus everything i can on what i'm doing.

but somebody teach me how to apply techniques to web layouts and design!

too old?

lately i've been wonderin', comin' up with gansta rap lines

flippin' thru old records past my generation, my time

try to exhaust my mind with exhausted punchlines

used to be my favorite past time, and it was all fine

till i've grown up, i'm too old for that posthumous shit

too old for innocent craniums, i've got lost humours, shit

readin' too deep, too shallow, and then old rhymes go

composin' two rows for two doughs, reposin' this soul

forbidded this flow, burning sensations sensational

clashin' civilizations, space and time critical

so maybe we writing historical is kinda comical

but i'ma break the frame that says 'no idea's original'

i first listened to that jay z shit back in J-C-two

four years later, still twenty two two's at age twenty two

feelin' like, damn, age is startin' to catch up wit me

but the fact i'm in this paper chase, chasin' slowly

like there's a link; good grades equals living successfully

like asians are only good for modern day peasantry

"but fuck that 'cause that's a low life motto"

even though you can't shoot down the sun with broken arrows

we still try to separate the medium from shadows

still try to take down life lessons in our little memos

every single commodity that stamps patented info

we rip away the soul, strip away the gold, then follow

class!

and i was immediately reminded why you can never be my friend.

i aint some big shot or some shit, but having glanced into the both of my eyes the least you could have done was to say a 'hi'.

had an urge to return the animosity and treat your existence as though you were invisible, but ha, you aint worth it.

and so sem 2 is on its way and this time, i'm going have to work harder! :)

stickers

and they will stick with you thru the happiest times

until your fall from grace, to your darkest times

感言15.12.2011

我不再難過了

我看見自己是多麽的美麗，那麽的多有魅力，別人是給予我多麽多的愛

雖然每人能真正擁有愛，我可是真正的體會到了

換個新環境，其實對自己很好

謝謝你給我這個機會，我會好好把握的

don't be ridiculous

don't be ridiculous

just because you rhyme the last word of every sentence doesn't make it a fucking poem

WHERE IS YOUR FLOW

WHERE IS YOUR SKILL

WHERE IS YOUR TECHNIQUE

More importantly,

WHERE IS YOUR MESSAGE

t.u.m.

FUCKING 4:19 in the MORNING

FOREVER WRITING TILL I GET DISCOVERED

the.unhappily.married. (purely fictional)

Mirage, life and death, toasts to coke and meth

Co-existence, fallen deaf, angels of spiritual theft

Can't do it alone, still rolling with the rolling stone

Got nowhere to go, 'cause this is where he calls his home

Hosts and parasites thin nest-cage equivalence

Little man has little options, middle man acquaintance

The wage war commisions, meddle conversations

Winding pi fractions beyond brine saturations

Asking why the heart status, merger, democracy

Understand why bird heart the caged I know suddenly

It's a stolen nature, vulgar urban roaches

Gettin' richer quicker fuckin' drunkards on liquors

While the "young salewoman sets up shop when the sun sets"

Guarantee to detach the souls that were matched

Plus a plaster plastacine, injest penicillin

Wakin' to bathroom floors, where the hell have you been?

The Child

So I stepped back, recollect, regret the shit I've said

But the words' been out, I guess I can't take them back

I was like a child, refused to wait for the soup to chill

Scalded his tongue so bad, two weeks and still he's ill

Subsequent meals, coupled with subsequent bills, now he's

Mentally ill from the medical pills that actually kills

The truth is concealed cause he will not reveal, he's

Bottlin' it like a contraceptive pill, he will distill

Pneumatic drills into the hard core truth, the literal

Imagined emotions in temples, thoughts hypothetical

Killed the sabbatical, there's nothing left but sentimental

Memories of yesterday carried away in opticals

Souls of nights cease, lone, a mistaken disease

In the cities of tall buildings, the cold air, the breeze

Contaminants I breathe, the same one that I sneeze

And that desire for a friendship I could not release

In retrospect the kid should have calmed down and respect

Choices of an individual, who was he to expect

Suspecting a doubt that only brought frustrations

Psychological state of mind that maybe spells limerence

Pitching a higher tolerance, building a balance

With scales of a sign that epitomize elegance

Cause if perfection was he, he'd be an embarassment

So he stabilized and composed archaeological remnants

In the initials of crap verse, two stanzas will immerse

Arguing shit, two by four, the last eight lines of this verse

Maybe rehearsed, with pens inversed you can call it adverse

So long an intersperse, hope that this may be reversed

Only method to salvage the broken intended recipient

Relating this to reactions of an 'angry man asian'

Repent or remorse, re-penned and reinforced

You know, if friendship ain't meant to be, it shouldn't be forced

Too late, haha

Traditional rhyme schemes, original rhymin'

Know-identity

My mind is polluted by sounds that come from my headphones

But my choice is peculiar, that's why I'm always feeling the lone

I'm having a hard time trying to fit into mainstream taste

Repulsion every time I diss that mainstream waste

It's a lame dream race, let's face it, the wealth and the fame

I'm never gonna make it the thought of it brings shame

The bells ring change, it starts to rain as I feel disdain

Droppin' plains of pain, it starts to faint but I'm still the same

And something I still don't understand, I can't comprehend

How the fuck am I supposed to move on without a plan

Now, I'm breaking relationships over petty little things

Seems to me I don't really know myself, I'm having flings

Mingling around with the shit I ain't supposed to mess with

But fuck it, I ain't got anything on me to start with

好聽

你的版本真的很好聽

聽了好舒服 心裏好多了

不認識你，但還是要謝謝你

生病了

最近好難過

沒想到一個病可以拖那麽久還不快好

只想朋友、親人的安慰鼓勵快好起來

不想自暴自棄但真的好想放棄

說要死掉也太誇張

不過内心真的快撐不下去

看到這則網post的朋友可以說我很軟弱

可是這段時間裏，真的，我好想一個人靜一靜

皮膚惡化、精神氣色一天比一天糟糕

不想出門，我是怎麽搞的

這不是以前開心活潑的阿淵，你在幹嘛

懷疑自己快患上憂鬱症，明明就很多朋友邀約，自己是不孤單的

但是好像越來越孤僻了

生病了，臉紅腫了，I look grotesque

but why the fuck do i care?

靠腰 你管好自己就好了 不要來煩我

done.. won.

It's a common question asked a million times

Even more times you tried to force that shit rhyme

Life, love, stress and setbacks, show me where your heads at

Cause honestly I'm tired of the bullshit and fake acts

Fuck a job demeaning, it's a fight against the odds

Inscribing life's meanings, it's a fight against the Gods

I'm ignoring texts, emails and messages

Just so they notice my struggle with the rummages

I'm aged twenty one, but my mind is really older

Who the fuck am I kiddin', isolated in the corner

Trying to fit in but you can't you fucking Termite

They try to ruin you, label you, reduced to plights

But seriously, you think you all that great

Go out there and face reality before it's all but too late

Demonstrate, show them how it's supposed to be done

Fuck a break, show them how it's supposed to be won

somewhere else

I'M VERY CONVINCED I DON'T BELONG HERE

'cause this is the only thing i want to do

I WILL BE A FUCKING DOPE LYRICIST

travel!

http://www.fluentin3months.com/life-lessons/

無暇的美麗

無暇的美麗

現實生活中我們不在一起

但妳可知道我每天想著妳

我們的愛情史美麗得可惜

同住在這城市卻失去聯繫

成人生活繁忙複雜得可怕

這世界又一直不停的變化

讓人不再擁有單純的想法

我想再來的話也不一樣吧

在分手時說出最狠的話我沒忘記

我們用歲月建立的一切多不爭氣

妳不顧我軟弱脆弱的心將它打碎

現在互相後悔也不能彌補得了誰

日子匆匆過去我的人生向前走了

我不再幼稚了從此再也不抱怨了

但偶爾的寂寞不斷勾起我的回憶

我也只能偷偷回頭迷失在那夢裏

感謝妳讓我看到真實的殘酷事實

人生的不完美其實才是完美的事

所以我用回憶畫出曾經完美的妳

只有在那時空裏妳是無暇的美麗

friend on fb.. so?

connected by the internet

but it's sad we no longer chat

放棄

有太多的話想對妳說

太多的想法說不出口 我太懦弱

太害羞膽小不敢獻醜 我想太多

想當初的溫柔當初的見面

現在只想要再多見妳一面

你怎麽沉默不説話了

難道連朋友都不當了 我說穿了

我知道妳比從前快樂 那我呢

我只能在這角落等待未來

等待未來有一天妳會回來

外面的世界紛擾喧鬧

電視的負面新聞報道

我們的故事沒有人會知道

他們不瞭妳對我有多重要

我又到這路口的交叉

這就是我們的結局嗎 沒準備好

來得太快來得太突然 我沒想到

原來我是這麽這麽的愛妳

我是多麽的不捨得放開妳

明知道不可能 卻又想牽起妳的手

有種莫名衝動 把妳摟在我的胸口

求妳今晚別走 願妳陪我躲在被窩

我們什麽不做 讓時間像流沙溜走

或許輪回注定 這一生不能在一起

所以選擇放棄

yachtes and boats

Hello, are you dead or are you still running alive

Times get harder and colder after you survive

Living on borrowed times, whose turn is it to shine

It's laughable how you try put your past behind

Reclaim stolen eclipse and sunshine, these are shadowed times

Of mellow rhymes that cannot cross the yellow lines

Where's the boundary, can't locate it, you forsake it

You berate it, like vanished money that you donated

What a tragic, swami gimmicks turned black magic

Coming around and calling it philosophy of logic

History repeats, yet another generation fooled

Paper chasers believing religiously in schools

These are peasant tools, you critic Socratic methods

Set the ball rolling, turning moments like effect Ratchet

Hatred in the veins of pessimists, socialists and Marxists

Axis tipping mentalists, opportunists and batteries

Work overload, I deviate onto the lonely road

Leavin' you cold, friends turn into the phony mode

So I'm searchin' for antidotes for the people I dote

Assailed by doubts as I embark a different boat..

what struggle?

As I sat at my table thinking of themes to write

I scratched my hair, pullin' those that had turned white

And still, I couldn't think of anything to write

So I sat there wasting my time from day to night

It's a mental fight, how did I end up in this woeful plight

Becoming a thief, stealing rhymes, with styles I bite

Becoming everything but the man who swore to abide

By the principles and rules I preach and cite, it's like

Exhaustion from the path and the waves you ride worldwide

Constantly searching for the grass 'on the other side'

Wished someone was here to be my guide, a bona fide

Teach a man to 'rap homicide', and whet his appetite

But look how he betides, angels circling the devils inside

Feelin' like politicians losing dignity and pride

Like political prisoners who die before being tried

Cast aside the great divide of the blacks and whites

Killin' the innocent like concentrated pesticides

They try to hide, insightful insights like the war brides

And denied to everybody they did it, fucking lies

But it's only time that people with real eyes will realize

Suddenly I feel like I have finally recognized, that

In comparison, my struggles are minute in size

Nobody sees tears when you're standing in the storm huh

Be a man, get up and fight for it, cousins, sisters.. bruh'

who sees your pain when they themselves are in adversity?

Nobody sees tears when you're standin' in the storm

Cancer (November 2011)

His best friendship asset: Deep Feelings

Since most relationships are initiated by a him, he looks to give rather than take, but at the same time wishes to be given too.

Science and mathematics are not ideal for a him as they don't allow sufficient space for personal opinions.

He will always try to maintain some kind of connection even in the most extreme circumstances.

He's one of the most bipolar signs, only true friends know how to deal with them.

morning mrs tay

Dear Mrs. Tay

I feel like paying you a visit after my exams.

But where and how do I find you?

I'm sure you're resting well among the stars.

Since 2005.

Yours sincerely,

Love

time to do something

Tired of hiding behind the screen?

It's time to do something.

be a happy mum

And she's been sleeping on the bed for 2 entire days already.

This is worrying. Please. be happy.

lame love rhymes

We're connected by the phone, by the texts

By emails, by facebook, the internet.

But still, you and I, we feel so distant

Your hair, your smile, so reminiscent

lame love rhymes lol

take care.

Okay I'm just skimming thru' the old photos of myself and some of my friends..

And geeez look how far I've come from being an introvert to who I am today.

And then I thought about you. We were so alike.

You used to be so quiet, so introverted.. So blue and so sad.

I'm just glad you went overseas and became a lot happier.

I'm really happy for you.

And even though I'm probably forgotten by you, I will never forget the fun times we had.

You were like my sister. I loved you so much. But I had to let go didn't I.

The best decision your parents ever made for you.

I looked outside of my window and saw the twinkling star.

And I wonder how you are. lol so cliche but really.

i felt the love tonight

I just heard one of the truest love story ever told

Noddin' my head in agreement, then I felt the cold

With tears of gold, she flips thru' historical pages

Of a normal school teen, fast-forwarded marriages

They never got together, and that's a regret

Boy met the girl, but that was 28 years back

Thru' the darkest times, the darkest storms, she cries

Infinite maybes and possibilities, she tries

To stop herself from imagining the impossible

Time already robbed your youth, this is no fairy tale

But think about the seas you've traveled, the skies you soared

The kids you've raised, pride, yes, someone give her an applause

Crumble down the wall, back then it was a tall order

Rewind it back now and you might reconsider

But if you was her, would you merge the tools of convenience

Or entrust on dwelling sentiments, the test of patience

You see the success of the man who used to love you so much

Yet it was you who let go of that golden touch, as such

As much as I empathize with you, it's sad that it's true

He never hated you, still blessed you, he still loves you

Ain't no way you two will ever be together again

There ain't no way you can sing the songs of forever again

But deep inside in that little corner of his heart

The memories you paint is your greatest work of art

28 years later the story is retold

As I sat there listening, your hand tightly I hold

This ain't about the cling, this ain't about the gold

Seems like some things we'll never, ever let them go

If you never said, I'd probably never, ever know

Past tragedies, life's misery that you never, ever showed

Applauding your bravery, I know that I'm lucky

To be sitting right next to you as you finish this story

reminiscing about you

I know it was over the moment I penned that letter

It was nothing personal, I only hoped for the better

Why would I destroy something I worked so hard to build

But you never gave a piece about me, and that's how I feel

What I feel, my feelings intersected with aphrodisiacs

So I stepped back, tried to figure this picture, this mosaic

I was fallin' in deep, thinkin' 'bout you even in my sleep

You're the reason I keep havin' paradoxical sleeps

Walkin' down the streets thinkin' what would have been, could have been

The nicest chapters written in our lives, the world would have seen

But clearly you wasn't into it, I feel so stupid

Like an idiot, so I'm breakin' the relationship

I just couldn't handle the emotional torment

My sadness flows like the river of sentiments

While my friends sit across and laugh at the opposite

Tellin' me "I told you so, you just wouldn't hear it"

Retrospectively they were right, about bitches and life

Rewinding the scenes constantly, soon dusk turns into night

I'm wasting precious minutes of my youth reminiscing

Someone I barely knew, but memories they still cling

semester 1 shits

all the shit this semester

1. i just fucking lost a friendship

2. my grades have fucking dropped like fuck

3. fucking caught in a car accident, thought i was gonna die or some shit

(hope to sammy gets the good news that he waits for)

4. my grand-aunt is in the hospital for the nth time

5. exams are coming up and i cannot fucking pick myself up

6. nothing except one thing excites me no more

7. i'm about to lose more friendships. about to break more relationships.

8. exams are coming up and i dunno what the fuck i have learnt. at all.

still have no fucking idea what to do with this one fucking life

but i still got your love. the only thing that is keeping me together

and i keep thinking about my friends and relatives overseas.

i ain't gonna quit. i'm not a quitter

你說的我一定會實踐諾言

still writing lyrics and rapping in my fucking four walled room

so what if you think it's whack, who the fuck is you

SAME SHIT AGAIN

姨媽又住院了..

好不容易痊愈的說，現在又住院了

陸陸續續好起來又入院老天爺你覺得這樣很好玩嗎

請你不要再折磨她了好不好

我真的很難過你知道嗎

sorry. i'm sorry.

I can't believe you actually did that on me.

You're the one who needs to get the clearer picture.

I've helped you so much, and you couldn't even help do me a simple favor?

that's fucked up.

i say fuck your pretense, lies, excuses and shit

but i like you, so i might forgive if you admit

i thought we could have been real friends but god damn it

from the beginning it was one-sided friendship

i showered you my love, concern and my care

almost crossed the boundary right over there

told everyone how great you were thru' both of my eyes

and now you won't even look straight into both my eyes?

don't forget who used to give you company and help

till you became independent, easy, I could tell

get it right, you're about to lose a big asset

since i changed poles and repelled like a big magnet

you say my eyes are small like fuck, that is true

can't believe i wasted my time giving in to you

you're always the center of the attention, fair enough

but i pity those who willingly walk the same path

why they even help you, i can't know fo sure

character is embedded, there is no cure

they say you're beautiful, but that's really all there is to it

i will never STOOP so low and fall for your lame tricks

and that's it. i'm sorry that's it. no more.

enough of the ranting coz my mouth is sore

but you should hang a warning sign on your shirt

i don't want to see another person treated like dirt

in reconciliation, you better have a good reason for this.

mazeee

You say you hate your life, yeah you ain't the only one

Tired of being dragged around when you're the chosen one

It is no fun, this city is down, weary and fucked

This road is lonely, all I need really, is luck

Nowadays I only think about writing the lame rhymes

On the same lines, conjuring rhymes in the same mind

But nobody understands the pain that you go thru'

While you're wallowing in the blood veins that run so blue

Caged in four walls, barely space for you to even crawl

But no-one responds to your pathetic little bird calls

Your fall from grace is the only thing that they all laugh at

Remindin' you the fact, curiosity killed the cat

Fuck a map, fuck a trap, fuck your ex-lover's slap

Love turns hate, our emotions we need to recollect

We're lost souls, can't do it alone, we all need help

Unite the human spirit, liberate the self

我的宿命

我竟然一邊聼著這首歌，一邊留下眼淚

大白天，大男人，你哭什麽哭

相信很多人聼過孫燕姿《我不難過》、王菲《旋木》這兩首動人動聽的歌曲..

聼久了，聼了太多遍，已經對歌曲中的悲傷麻木了..

直到..

直到我今天去搜尋歌詞作家的背景和故事，我頓然愣住了，突然覺得心中的不愉快並不算什麽

From Wikipedia:

（楊明學2004年死于肺癌）

外型相當不錯的楊明學曾擔任王菲《旋木》一曲MV的男主角，此MV的女主角爲其當時女友許維恩。2009年1月前偶像團體B.A.D成員田恩沛與許維恩結婚時，在婚宴進行到新娘抛捧花時，就為其妻演唱這首已故前男友所創作的《旋木》，並對她說：“我知道這首歌對你的意義。” 讓許維恩在場衆多賓客都不僅感動落淚。

你知道每一首背後的故事嗎？我錯了..我真的錯了..

楊明學，你的人生雖然短暫，但你留給這世界很多美好的創作，將會影響很多人，甚至還是一輩子呢

寫歌詞是我的宿命，千萬千萬不能忘記

wy do i love you?

And again today I tried to be your friend.

And again tonight before you disappeared,

You didn't even say 'goodnight'.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY GOODNIGHT.

I'm tired of this one-sided friendship.

Well you know what 2 more Freitags and we're done.

Haha I'm kidding. You know that I love you.

Lügen

STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME

跟劇本走

謝..我很想相信你但是以目前情況看來..有點很難置信~

或許有些事情不該讓人知道..知道了反而更氣因爲故事沒跟劇本走

但我還是要繼續努力，不辜負你對我的期待

寫歌詞是我的使命

keep or delete

Re-reading my posts.. I don't know man.

I should probably take back whatever I've written when I was depressed. I should probably delete them. I thought too much, too deep.. Truth be told, I was going insane.

But. I guess. It's all part of growing up. Even if it comes back to haunt me one day.. Oh well.

At least I'm man enough to admit I did write that stuff when I was younger.

And looking back, do you even recognize the same person who's reading this post now?

99.99% sure you won't.

自由

我給你自由~

OK TIME TO STOP READING.

READING TOO MANY CHICK LITS RECENTLY WHAT THE HELL

EASY A: Pocket Full of Sunshine Clip. Watch more top selected videos about: Cam Gigandet, Lisa Kudrow

Still remember I watched this with zhiquan and co. hahaha omg so gay.

check check!

Lol just checking, if anyone was thinking the previous post for intended anyone, WRONG.

i just need to tweek a bit to write into a verse.

great time last night

Had a great time last night, that's all that matters.

NEVER MIND

I don't think anybody believes the shit I say. but, whatever man haha.

not again

又來了. DAMN

誰都不要

MESSY I KNOW BUT THIS IS NOT FOR ANYONE THIS IS A LYRIC DRAFT LOL

我真的誰都不要.

如果有一天你真的墜入愛河，投入了別人的懷抱，我不會生氣，我會祝福你，但我也會擔心你受騙

我害怕被你遺忘，但如果真的把我忘了..就讓時間沖淡一切

如果有你偶爾的關懷，這就足夠了

只要你最低落，最需要人陪伴的時候想起我，如果還來得及，我一定會給你我最後最棒最溫暖的溫柔，最溫熱的擁抱

除了你，我誰都不要.. 我是說真的。

我是真的真的愛上了你，現在把這份感情藏起來..因爲我知道我們不可能在一起

可以當你最好最好的朋友，是我唯一的要求，很開心你沒拒絕我這個要求

我很想知道你的想法，但依目前看來.. 妳就讓我繼續喜歡妳吧

thanks for remembering me

Received a super random text from my super friendly technician friend from ns today.

Thanks jon chong, for not forgetting my existence.

Every little thing that people do for me these days.. I'm starting to appreciate them more.

I'M NEVER TAKING ANY OF THIS FOR GRANTED I SWEAR.

share the love. peace out. good night.

擁抱

“要擁抱的不是自己的愛人

那種感覺很微妙..不可解”

我就是要寫歌詞

found rhymes

She was only sixteen when we crossed this path

Ended individual relationships, consumed by this wrath

She was cute, yea, resembled the girl I swore I'd marry

But she was more like a broken-winged angel, and sadly

Walkin' thru this ghost town, a lost soul to repent

I used to ask her how she was every now and then

I loved her smiles, how she used to pretend she was okay

When deep down inside I knew how nothing was okay

She was an ugly duckling turned to the blind eye
But I predicted exactly one day she'd beautify

Turn into the beautiful swan without magic wands

Yet at that moment that moment seemed ever forlorn

They told me to stop wasting my time she ain't worth it

But I didn't want the sex, I just wanted this friendship

Only she could relate this emptiness I hide inside

She just wanted to fit in, clenching that thorn, that pride

Exchanging messages on ice-cream sticks, smile wide!

One of a kind, she harnessed and reversed the tide

Killed the darkness inside my head, inside my chest

Cure for sickness, all that I had, she was the best

We started hanging out whenever we were down

At the same time she drowned out the unhappy sounds

Suggested leaving this town, needed a change of place

And she got her wish first, left this place of rat race

What was I to do? She came from a rich family

There was no way I could have stopped this from comin'

Told me how unbearable it was, I saw it all

From the tears on the face to the fists on the wall

But I knew it was for her own good, life altering

She needed real friends, friends who'd stop her crying

Rich people are everywhere man, but she was real

She appreciated the friend I was, and that's how I feel

Man, I still remember your letters of complaint

How we hated the fact we were no longer saints

How you hated change, I know, I too I felt the same

I felt disdain, I felt the same shame and the pain

This is the city of dearth, no mines to unearth

Takes a lot of nerve for anyone to show their love

And it's been 4years since you left my side

There's so much to lose and only so much I can hide

found these rhymes again

pour me another.

Some songs are really age-specific i tell you.

They only make sense when you've hit a certain age.

And BAM! something just hits you so subtly.

play fair

hey there, you don't play fair.!

ain't there yet

we ain't there yet!

突然間

突然間好想

1、和全家人去打保齡球（很奇怪吧，因爲我根本不會打保齡球）

2、帶Angel去個漂亮的地方玩耍

3、學如何吹口琴、彈鋼琴、吉他學新歌

4、寫一本愛情小説

5、學日語

6、約個正妹一起去溜冰哈哈！

但還要想辦法存錢發大財才可以實現環游世界的夢~！

when are we going to record

I WANT TO FUCKING RECORD.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

I do not own the material as of below. I just thought it was pretty real.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

1、有時候陽光很好，有時候陽光很暗。這就是生活。

2、過分為己，是為自私自利。完全捨我，也是虧待了一個人生靈 --- 自己。

3、女人的奮鬥目標就該是，讓以前的男人遺憾，讓現在的男人流汗，讓未來的男人稀罕。

4、你給我真心，我就給你真心。你給我未來，我就給你未來。你給我負心，我就給你巴掌。如果你足夠愛我，我一定會給予你最甜蜜、灸熱的愛。如果你不再愛我，不再珍惜我，對不起，我是個知冷知熱的真實的人，我的心會自動降溫。

5、幸福是，不會因爲走得太遠，離開太久，而忘了因何處出發、丟了曾經的堅持。

6、據説一個内心豐富的人既不害怕獨處，也不害怕人群，因爲他們可以在獨處時心中綻開大千世界，也可以在人群中保持一份恬淡清寂。

7、我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

8、什麽樣的人最有魅力？答案就是：内心有力量的人。什麽叫做有内在的力量？就是遇到困難，碰上痛苦，能夠坦然與自己負面情緒相處的人。

9、我從沒被誰知道，所以也沒被誰忘記。在別人的回憶中生活，並不是我的目的。

10、選男人的標準有時很簡單，受歡迎的男人通常不是什麽好東西，因爲他們遇到的誘惑越大就越難守住愛情的專一。而大部分好男人，都是默默讀完書默默地工作，然後默默找個女朋友，最後默默地結婚生娃。雖然感情的精彩在於分合跌宕，但天長地久的真諦永遠只有兩個字：平淡。

11、如果一個人真的足夠在乎你，那麽他總能擠出時間來陪你，沒有藉口、謊言、沒有不兌現的諾言。

12、男人的自信來自一個女人對他的崇拜，女人的高傲來自一個男人對她的傾慕。永遠不要栽培你愛的男人，你把他栽培的太好，結果只有兩個：他從此看不起你活他給別人偷了。

13、憂慮並不能阻止不好的事情發生，它只能阻止你享受生活中的美好。

14、當年舟車勞頓只為與愛人片刻相依的他，一心只想把那份感情守成天長地久的他，可曾想到会有今天？愛著的時候，以爲那個人就是自己的一生，誰料到一朝夢醒，就站在了另一個人的身邊。

15、選這樣的女人做你的妻子：如果他是一個男的，你會選她作朋友。

16、所有男孩子在發誓的時候都是真的覺得自己一定不會違背承諾，而在反悔的时候也都是真的覺得自己不能做到，所以誓言这种东西无法衡量堅貞，也不能判斷對錯，它只能證明，在說出來的那一刻，彼此曾經真誠過。

17、那些嘴上對愛情不屑的人，其實才是對愛情最忠貞的信徒。

18、如果一段感情已經進入死胡同，還是越早結束越好，拖下去對大家都沒有好處。一段感情走到燈火闌珊的時候，是應該理智地把它畫上句號的時候了。

19、離開一個地方，風景就不再屬於你；一個人離開你，那人便與你無關。

20、每個人的初戀，大都十分純情。跨過了初戀，愛情就生出了很多姿態。有人風流，見一個愛一個；有人冷漠，再不會拿出真心。不是每個人，都適合與你白頭到老。有的人，是拿来成長的；有的人，是拿来一起生活的；有的人，是拿来一輩子懷念的；有的人，是要一輩子珍惜的。

Be brave. Keep movin' on y'all.

so bad!!!

I am pretty confident that I'll succeed one day, but at the moment you're way out of my league.

At first I thought I stood a chance, I thought, looking past the fact I wasn't rich, and I could be your gentleman. but then haha, I guess I lost the moment. A little jealous no doubt, but that's about it.

But I'll wait. I will wait. Until you realize my existence or.. someone who truly loves me comes along. and i've slipped by by then.

hey..

thanks gb, for every little message you send makes my day a little better.

and isa, i miss you very much. there's not a day that goes by without me thinking how you are doing over in sunny australia.

thanks cheryl, for wanting my friendship so bad. you say what's passed has passed, but i keep thinking what a bastard i was. and i'm just glad i'm a somebody in ur life.

thanks to my sister, for always making my day. for always showing me the delight in the simplicity of life.

thanks angel, for the smile i see every morning when i wake up and when i get back home. you're getting so beautiful with each day you age.

thanks mum, for i wouldn't be here if you hadn't grit your teeth and suffer. 'there is no progress without struggle'!

and of course, thanks dad. it hurts me so much to see you working your ass off every day just to keep this family going. it ain't easy, and sometimes it may seem like a real lonely road.. but.. i really don't know what else i can do. all i see is you going to work so unhappy every day. when will a nice and understanding boss realize how awesome an engineer my dad is? he's one of a kind. your loss you didn't hire him. sucks to be under-appreciated when you've given all you've got for this fucking company.

untitled

Money can't buy you happiness, everybody knows that

But some people have it as their sole motivation to rap

I can't tell you what it really is, but one thing I promise

There's not a single night I sleep without reminisce

There's not a single day I don't think about you

There's not a single pay I collect that is due

There's not a single day I contemplate what's the truth

It's every single day that I articulate, that's the proof

These days I wonder why material welfare is up

At the same time non-material welfare is fucked

Wealth breathers, supposed to make our lives easier

The numbers are up, we're supposed to be happier

Instead whines get louder, we deserve more than this state

You bred greed in the people, now we want a bigger cake

Fourth branch of the government try to confuse you

More immediate suicides but subsequent numbers fell to

Lower than previous years before the Great Depression

People saw life more than just material acquisition

People got thru shit together, now it seems forever

Since the obsession with time, dime, sex and notes

Mentality shifts, callously history is rewrote

To benefit who? We are shown the glamorous youths

With the blings shining in the four-walled booths

We shout beiber! but why and for how long? We know neither

做好自己

其實..幹嘛那麽在乎別人怎麽想，幹嘛那麽care別人生活過的怎麽多姿多彩，幹嘛那麽在意人家的新生活如何？只要做好自己的本份就好了不是嗎？

想通了！

wy

I think after this academic year I promise I will never start a conversation with you again. wy? i dunno.

yo I miss my past

And I can't provide you with diamond rings, I can't give you the life you want, I can't be that Prince 'charming' that you look for, I can't flirt like how guys that you like do, I can't pretend to be who I am not.

But I can serenade you with tunes every day, every moment I swear.

I can be your friend, I will do anything for you on any day I promise.

AND LOL I'M NOT SULKING HAPLAPBLAHBLUBLAH *input some gibberish garbage in here*

why does eminem's chorus resonate so suddenly

To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS

gah this philosophy is making me think deeper and deeper

hurry up!

can't wait for this semester to fucking end.

hello are you there

hello are you there

I missed how you always asked me for company for whatever reason it was. How you always looked for me as a source of inspiration, as a source of help, as a source of entertainment. We talked almost every day about every thing from your worries to your childhood to your hobbies, to your friends to your love life. I can't deny that I enjoyed that. But then you became independent, you had your new friends, you went on with your life, and I was soon forgotten.

I only existed when you needed something. Like a staircase for you to fucking step.

But it's alright. I'ma still hold on to my values CHYEAH :D

“或許妳會有一天懷念，可是我已不在..”

till next time

4 stories. part 4 will come.. when I feel like it.

Today I feel so happy I don't feel like penning down any frustration of any sort.

Oh well. Back to work (project) tmr!

tschüss!

Guten Nacht, Welt!

4 stories. part 3.

Smile of the week. the month i think.

Was walking home from White Sands today with my earpieces plugged in.

On the way home there was this mother cycling back home with loads of stuff in the basket.

Too many stuff perhaps. She lost control of her bike and fell, and with it, all her stuff dropped onto the floor. Seeing she was struggling, I went over to help while she picked herself up.

Turns out her boy cycled so fast that she was lost control of her bike trying to catch up with him.

So anyways, she kept thanking me until even I felt so paiseh. I just gave her a smile and I got a really big and wide one in return :) she even wished me good night. awww.

And I felt so happy for the rest of the night.

4 stories. part 2.

Went over to starbucks@yih today.

Walked past a few people playing guitars and geez i just thought of leeleng.

We used to talk about playing guitar together sometime after ord.

But it never materialized. I gave him a text and geez did I realise how much I actually miss a lot of people.

Haven't met you guys for a long time. Hope you guys are doing alright.

Please take care :]