stupid. chapter. twenty.one. shit.

DISCLAIMER: This ain't out to diss or disrespect nobody.

I don't know.. but..

I sorta regretted coming on this DAMN STUPID CHAPTER 21 SHIT.

But I gotta admit I enjoyed myself whilst during the tour around the Taiwan trip; it's my first commendable feat, a personal achievement I must say. It did allow me to experience a very different holiday in Taiwan - it made me fall in love with Taiwan once again. But this Taiwan I fell in love with seems very superficial - I'm only in love with Southern Taiwan. Northern Taiwanese are still as unfriendly and snobbish (but of course they still have their fair share of nice people) as I remembered.

I come from Taipei, a city in Northern Taiwan. And that (the above statement) coming from me means something. It means a lot in fact. I love Taiwan, I love this island, but it seems nowadays this island has sold its soul for the money.

And it saddens me greatly. I miss the Taiwan that Ee Yen in his childhood lived in.

I don't know. I just don't love you as much as I thought I did. And then I came back and, fuck you, I'm all messed up and confused again.

But I'm glad you cleared up one thing for me. And you made me realize how fucked up some people are. I'm probably never gonna keep in touch with them ever again. It's an experience, a lesson learnt. But these people, some of whom I thought were gonna be long-lasting friends I was gonna keep, can't see eye-to-eye with me. And I hate the fact that I ain't shit to them. And them not appreciating my efforts. I've done so much for them, I've invested so much time and effort and money trying to create the perfect schedule for them. But they ain't interested in that kinda shit. Fucking accountants and rich people with they calculative mindset and practices. You motherfuckers cannot see past the material value the puppet masters want us to see, and you want every cent to be calculated to the dot. That's FUCKED UP. I didn't ask for anything in return when I spent so much, when I expended so much energy in this. And what have you guys done for this trip? FUCKING SHEEPS..

But why can't you at least try to show some appreciation and stop yakking along the GOD DAMN FUCKING TRIP.

On hind sight, I was wrong to start making a fuss out of that. But then again, in retrospect, I probably should have expected this shit when I agreed to be your tour-slave-guide. I am not your maid, I am not your GOD DAMN TRANSLATOR. I was supposed to be your friend. F-R-I-E-N-D. FRIEND.

Maybe they were right all along. Who was I kidding? I am a fucking cancer, I cannot trust you. I love my family more than you guys can ever imagine. Somehow, if I had the chance again to choose between bringing you guys around or just chilling around with my relatives... Jesus, I'd rather spend time with my relatives. Yep, all of the fucking 12days I spent with y'all. Don't get me wrong, I cherish the time I spent travelling, sight-seeing and immersing myself in the love of the Taiwan heartbeat. But I just felt that I did those on my own - I don't think you guys felt the same way that I did, but the times I loved were the ones I spent on my own - I did.

And even if it meant missing all the nice places I went to this time around, I think I would have done that.

The only other person who can relate to me would be the one with the initials C, S and J. So unless you are him, don't talk shit to me. You don't know how much effort I have put in while you guys were away enjoying your fucking holiday in Europe (don't forget who posted that shit on f.b. when we were planning to leave you out for this trip, and who made us spent that extra dollars because of the delay due to all the compromising in between), and working yo ass off for pitiful extra bucks in your miserable part-time jobs.

Tell me, are you gonna blame it on your upbringing or the culture you came from? Come on, I'm sure you don't have to be poor to show some empathy. Buddha was born into a royal family. I'm from a middle-income family. You guys are just people in the upper middle class. So that doesn't give you a right to behave the way you did.

I might be saying this while my mind loses itself amid the anger and the frustration, but I still be saying this not because of the little pennies I spent on you worthless people, or that you ain't showing appreciation for me, or, or, or you ordering me around like your maid.. but 'coz I'm not the type who puts his hand over his mouth:

but YOU FUCKING SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND SELFISH PEOPLE.
(not everyone of u of course, but you know who you are)

And it just proves you do not understand life, or the completeness of it.

Well, did I offend you?

Good, maybe that's because you are my friend. NO MORE :)

stupid. chapter. twenty. one. shit.