Hurt

Beat by 'Burnsie' (Soundclick)
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=5889729&q=hi&newref=1

[Verse 1]
I'm losin' my sense of direction, I can't focus; losin' concentration
At this point of my life I need encouragement, your motivation
Havin' had the best days of my life I'm havin' the worst, right now
Coz right now things aren't goin' too well for me, so how..?
Needa pull myself out of this mess; coz honestly
I've let too many people down, this I confess
Thinkin' about how I shoulda have made things better
For you, my family and friends; shoulda treat y'all better
No matter how much I put it, to you it's just words in letters
Put in thin pieces of envelopes, to you just ink on paper
I think about it every night when I tuck myself in bed
The same god-damn bed I put myself to sleep in, blankets laid
On the broken wooden planks that hurt my shoulder blades
I can't go to sleep, I think "I should have done that instead,
Shouldn't have said the words I have said", but soon these images fade
The very next mornin' I wake up feelin' alright, but I know, nightmares await..

[Hook]
I hurt myself.. Today..
To see if I still feel..
I focus.. On the pain..
The only thing that's real..

[Verse 2]
Pain from the hangover last night, not feelin' quite right
Stepped out from a room - pitch dark, feelin' shit; all contrite
Tryin' to get a grip of myself, tell myself it was just a bad dream
And that everything wasn't as bad as I thought, isn't as bad as it seems
Convince, persuade, recognise myself a proud soldier who fights hard all day
To stay alive, but recently I'm findin' it hard to find a purpose to pray,
To the gods who's given me so much help, advice all the while, all the way
Your whispers.. fadin' with each day.. I can't hear what you say no mo'
As if a sign to tell me you're on my side no mo', "Go on without ya"
So I neglet your absence, so far I'm doin' fine without ya
But I'm not so sure I can continue to say that in the future
These people around me have kept me cozy and warm, not one censure
But one thing rest assure, I'm freezin' deep down inside
If you know how it feels like, below zero I take it in my stride
Claimin' to know the truth.. But I don't know why I don't know how
When I feel the pain on my wrist.. Lift my arm and I see a bleedin' scar..

[Hook]


[Verse 3]
The only thing that's real, is that I love y'all, I love you too
But no matter how much I'd like to believe, I'm no hero that's true
Funny how you can see me; cool, but never cooler than the inside
And friends sorry I've lost trust I can't find no one to confide
Minimal energy left to pick up the pen on the table and scrible-
Out descriptions of the remaining emotions in me, fixed and unscrambled
Attempt to feel repent for it, only want to exempt from it
Google, yahoo all I could to search for a beat, make an attempt at it
Murder the beat, backfired and see me epic fail another feat
Crash and burn into ashes, raisin' white flags in defeat
Imagine it another dream, hoping the pain just goes away
Grab an alcohol drink, pop it and swallow my sorrows away
Pain from the hangover last night, not feelin' quite right
Stepped out from a room - pitch dark, feelin' shit; all contrite..
Tryin' to get a grip of myself, tell myself it was just a bad dream
And that everything wasn't as bad as I thought, isn't as bad as it seems..

[Hook]

[Outro]
So I hurt myself today..
Try wakin' me up to reality..
I guess I still have that bit in me to carry on..
Pain.. haha.. The only thing that's real...

Just like the hero.. Dead.