Thursday, August 30, 2007

How to save a life

The few of us guys were just shoppin' around in white sands looking for the perfect gift for mr chee and mr gan, the only 2 teachers we can actually relate to. haha. then came across this song that alan lim said it was nice. Listened closely to it and I felt it was rather nice. Not that I havent heard this song before, I'd probably had forgotten it sometime ago. Ha.



So it goes like this..

The Fray:

How to Save a Life



Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tired.

I wanted to take this topic like 'if i had..' by eminem, but felt I had to try something different. I'm feelin the way it is in 'if i had..', and i guess everyone feels so like that once in a while yea..?

I was sittin' in a corner all on my own, seein' everyone roamin' home
Havin' won the battle but I'm too exhausted that I feel I had lost the throne
Back in Rome I had a couple million soldiers under my control, now I'm on parole
I'm in the danger zone, zonin' off from one point, I'm broke as fuck, I'm on the dole
I'm tired of feedin' all the food to the people.. When I'm starvin' inside
I'm tired of reading all logic and truth to the people but no one sees me inside
I'm tired of being hollow and trivial 'cause I'm convivial, and I like thrills
And tired of always havin' to follow all the bullshit that fuels my will to kill
Until someone sees me bein' sensible, or takes advantage of me 'cause I'm gullible
Like fuck I've got a job to do, a task to fulfill, and all these crazy shit so surreal..
I'm tired of facin' all these people transparent and real, 'cause they've got me concealed
If I could steal an automobile that drives me on four wheels I'd be so thrilled 'cause that'll be so cool

But set out to be different, I'm apparent, fuck parenting and there'll be anarchy
I'm so busy with my own life, but that's not what I wanna be, I just wanna be free,
Free from this world of anxious and anxiety, I can be tolerable but not to this degree
You gotta agree, nothin's for free, but I can guarantee, if we're given our freedom of speech
Well if you could be me, then there's wouldn't be a need for clonin', even preachin'
'Cause you'll know me like I think I know you, that's dangerously risky, but I can take it
I could have you acquited, but you'll still have me acquainted, friendship and brotherhood.. You can fake it
But I can read it, thinkin' you could judge me but you ain't got a grudge to hold.. You just can't fudge with me.. You're just begrudgin' me for my intellectuality so I'm blowin' off till you can see me no more.. And that's it..

I'm just tired of all these bullshit.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Shopping with guys! LOL.

Didnt want to leave my house yesterday. First, I wanted to study. Two, I wanted to save money and not go out. In the end I failed both -.- Thanks to jy's sweet talk.

I refused to go initially, after finding out they were going to get shirt for be yourself day - the white colour shirt which I already had. But JY's continued persistence meant that I had to force myself to go so as not to dissapoint them.

And yea, there I went with my mum, sis and bro to tampines to have lunch before meeting up with jy, sj and alan double delight.

Chit chatted and crapped all the way from tampines to bugis - topics ranging from the class's recent mishaps and girls - lols. Some humour, but it wasn't really very enganging coz I didnt really set my mind on going out.

We went straight to the bugis street to choose clothes for alan (teo). How indecisive these ppl are. Can choose here choose there, in the end dun want to buy -.- But alan got the shirt he wanted in the end, even though he felt it was rather small sized but we felt it suited him well. Hmm. jy and sj actually wanted to buy theirs, so we headed to bugis junction and encircled the whole mall - only to return home empty handed. I wanted to like sit down somewhere and chill and talk - but alan (lim) decided that we go pool. DAMN! I knew we were gonna spend money. Ha. But I shared with alan teo the money. 10.80 per hour! That's like day light robbery! But they were willing to part with their notes and so I had no choice. Ha. But still, I agree with jy to take it like it's a mini-class outing. So I shall have no qualms about it. Ha.

At night went home and jy reminded me to watch superstar finals, which was showing simultaneously with liverpool's crunch with sunderland. Not that it was a dilemma for me to choose between pool's match and superstar finals - but I had no choice given my mum, bro and sis wanted to watch superstar - and I had to give in to them. Could only catch glimpses of the match during those irrelevant parts of superstar. Had some sms-chat with hazel and shirley. Liyun doesnt reply her smses anymore! wonder why. and shirley had no idea either. ha. I dunno la. i'll probably ask her another time.

It came as a surprise the little boy won superstar - it wasnt supposed to be his day, but it did. I guess these kinda shows have no base of judgement. Though they say it's 30% judge's grading and 70% votes-dependent - apparently the votes will prevail over whatever the judges feel isn't it. Ha. I just wonder how much more these kind of shows can continue to exploit their viewer's money. Actually I'm quite sure it wouldn't last. Yet these kind of shows, no matter how little or how insignificant it may be, will always exist to fluctuate the emotions of both participants and viewers. That was it.

Another saturday - wasted. Ha. And promos is like approaching. Gotta start buckin' up if i really wanna promote.

p.s. thx yewf for today (sunday) man. it's just hard to visualise and see where this path ends. Life is but a dream.

And I was always hopin'.. For the better.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Fearin'.

Since young I've never learnt to overcome what I fear

I'm succumbing to fear, steer me away from this sphere

As i listened closely, I hear death.. It's comin' near..

I gotta persevere, strive on, or vanish and disappear

This hunger to be revered.. Ten years on.. But I'm still here

Like a pioneer steppin' on the gear.. I'm reduced to tears

If I fail to win this, I'll rather not exist..

Temptation temptin' me, tellin' me not to resist

Take this fist, clenched, and that too, stenched, I'm over the edge

No I can't speak french, I only warm the bench

Like a communication trench, I'm out-stretched, over-stretched

.. ..

As I stretch out to my sketching pen.. I hear a sound..

"Who's over the ledge?" I uncower, rooted to the ground

I turn around to that bower, eyeing for a hound

INCOMPLETE

Just..

It was just..

Woke up today morning at around 6.30, i think i'm too used to waking up early, but not this early. Usually wake up at around 7 to be JUST on time for school. haha.

Yep. And then the rest i couldn't remember.

Yesterday was Ivan's birthday surprise party-chalet. Eugene, Sze Jun and I were there with the rest of his relatives and friends at Armanda Country Club. It's quite a nice place to be honest. But to think that candy actually did that for ivan. It's so sweet of his gf to organise such a massive thing for him. haha. not that i'm being envy, but i think these kind of ppl are hard to come by these days. anyways, i felt ivan was being somehow different. like.. he's not the kind of person he is in school. i guess everyone's got their side to share. Seems more quiet i suppose. His friends were all these together, but the three of us just sat at one corner eating and chatting away. (Oh yea, i forgot to mention about the cat which was so attention-seeking. haha. it was circling us several times before it went to find other human beings to play with. I think it was looking for someone to bring it home or smth.) Ivan kept asking us to go over with his friends, but I felt it was pointless. I'm not gonna know them well enough anyway. Not that I really need to or have to. Besides, the girls there were all attached =X and they weren't attractive to me in the first place.

I kind of pitied Ivan and Candy's parents. Like they were the ones who organised everything for us, but it had to be them helping us cook. Ivan didn't get to eat much. He claimed that he had eaten before we came, guess he's just being polite or smth. And he's like awkward speaking chinese. ha.

Eugene and sj were in a rush to go home. Think they cant stay out too long. Or they didn't want to. What's more, we felt so awkward with his friends/ relatives. Sj's mum came to fetch him, and eugene, home. The four of us had quite a chat while walking down to the bus stop. Then ivan sent me off at the entrance of downtown east. I can't really recall the topics we talked about, but we did talk non-chalantly before he sent me off. Some thoughts went through my mind, but I couldn't really express myself. Just hope that the 4 of us can stay together after we graduate. I think we're quite good friends, really.

Earlier, yong jie had to call of his plans to proceed to the chalet with us. He said he had to attend some funeral or something. I just hope things remain fine as we proceed into the 7th lunar month. Jianyao actually thought about coming with us to the chalet after he decided to pon co. I think he's quite similar to me - he hates his cca practices too. I used to look forward to it, but the more I go, the more i got sick of it =/ So he, along with sj and i, went to white sands and tried the thai food at the 2nd floor. It's the first time I've been there since they've renovated. I'd say their food is quite nice, and affordable. Maybe next time we could contemplate having our outing meals together over there. At least it's much better than fast food.

We went to buy ivan's gift after that - a white nike shirt with some red stripes on it - kinda resembling that of liverpool's away jersey, just that it's adidas. ha. We were rather choosy over his gift and spent like an hour deciding his gift, where I could have better spent that hour practising my piano piece or smth. Feelin' kinda guilty that i havent been touching my piano for 2 weeks or so. Needa buck up or I'd be lagging behind. Lots.

After that they came over to my place to wrap up the present, and we had a little chat too. Introduced them a few songs which i was glad sj liked. Borrowed my album after that. Shan't go into the details, but I feel that i've been neglecting some ppl lately. Maybe i should change the way i see things.

Went piano after that and then to meet sj and waited for eugene at white sands. Yea he was late, and so was ivan. I'm glad we were later than we were supposed to be or else we'd be sticking around with strangers for an even longer spell. lols.

Yea. that was all about the chalet. I think chalet loses its purpose if you're not going with a bunch of fun-loving people coz that'll spoil the mood. chalet's suppose to be a place people do crazy stuff together, isn't it? apart from just eating. ha.

... ...

Back to saturday.

After reading the papers and times, I couldn't bear the energy draining anymore. So went back for about 3 hours sleep. Woke up, did some chores before heading to City hall to meet yu chuan. I was late, again. and I'm sorry that i made you wait 'aite! 30 mins! i'll rmbr that. Well at least it'l better than the other time i made jm wait for the whole day outside my house =X

We went to st andrew's cathedral first. it's really a very nice church to go to, but i'm not a christian, but it's still a nice place to visit. i think i may wanna go there alone another time. it's so serene and peaceful there. i like that kinda environment.

hmm. then we went to peninsula to check out some guitar stuff. I realise there's more things over there than at swee lee. think i shall check that place out thoroughly instead of limiting my options to just swee lee. hmm. The prices there are much cheaper too. I need a tuner and a proper capo! but first my piano! hmm.

We went for a 'big walk' after that, walking around aimlessly and losing our way, before going all the way back to marina square to have dinner at subway! woot. i JUST love their cookies. and the first time i've tried their white chips cookie. it's nice.. and fattening too! nvm la. i'll play more soccer.

Never knew somethings that turned out the way it was. If i had JUST stayed in sa, maybe i'd be closer to some of them.. But i guess, things have become the way it is, I JUST gotta make do with what i've got.. Perhaps this teacher's day, instead of going back tms, which I dun feel any connection (neither can I relate to it) anymore, i should go find someone whom i think she's forgotten. But i wanna let her know that I've not forgotten her, and i've really taken her words to heart and followed to it closely. Just a pity to have lost her contacts. I wonder how she's doing. Hope to be able to see her back in school on teacher's day.

Ha. Nvm abt that. After dinner we were actually heading for the mrt, then a passer-by came to us asking for directions to marina bay, you know, that floating platform. He said he was going there to view the fireworks..

Hmm? Fireworks? We were taken by surprise coz we didnt know there was fireworks on display today. After giving him directions to marina bay, we took the short route (yes, we told him to walk that longer route by accident =/ ) to marina bay. Hell there were loads of ppl sitting at the stairways leading to the esplanade. we wanted to find some deserted spot where there were fewer ppl, but it was always gonna be difficult. We managed somehow to squeeze thru to somewhere near the Singapore Flyer. It wasn't exactly deserted, beside the river there were all people sitting down at the rocks waiting for the fireworks. We sat down and did some stupid stff. We even took pictures together! Lol. Like a gay couple seriously. I'd upload pictures once my com's fixed. ha.

It was about 9, then yu chuan wanted to go check out the ritz carlton hotel. It was my second time there. The urgent yc went toilet to release his bladder at once, then we rushed outside to take snapshots of the fireworks (quite childish, I know, but that's the way we are, ha). Spend some time there before we noticed a stylo car! I can't rmbr the name of the car brand, but it was hell style! I'd upload once I get them.

So much for taking all the cameo shots. We had to squeeze to the mrt with millions of other ppl. We took like 20 mins to get the mrt, bypassing the place where our first og outing was held! I think yc wants to organise an og reunion next yr or smth. I hope it'll work out fine. =D

We parted ways at the mrt station, guess all good things have to come to an end. Time flies, especially when u're enjoying it. And i was really glad to have meet him too! And, although i have the cd already, thanks nonetheless for the effort. But rmbr, support originality! Dun download or buy pirated / china cds! Support the taiwan music industry! Think about how you'd feel if u were in their shoes. Yea. That was about it.

I just hope to keep some of these souls implanted in my brain for as long as possible. And for the ever-so-far-out-there-but-we'll-remember-you jing, shine on. take care ok!

And that was.. just another saturday.. Well spent.. But not very productive, on the notion that I've got so many hw to do! WR! Damn. I think sj's come running after me for my part =X

p.s. jing i'm still waiting for your letter..! With the stamp of course, I want canadian stamps. ha.

Off to soccer in another 4 hours!

Monday, August 13, 2007

cycle.

Finally! The start of the new EPL season. the long wait is over! Haha. Now at least i have something to keep me occupied on weekends..! And pool just won yday's match by a gerrard winner! woot. one freekick to remember. aiya. dunno why la. i'm like zihai or smth. lol. the beggining of another cycle? hell yea.

Travelling back in space, it's a race for my place
Complacency gets me in place, i'm off without a trace
Opsey dazey, I'm just so pacy, you can see me blazin'
I can't even spell these words even it's simple like abc
Learnt things the easy way, now i see hard tough, tough harder
Fire crackers off in the sky, i'm way up in the sky, even higher
Just a sinner askin' to be forgiven, I'm in seventh heaven
God tells me there's one of him, to the point of no return
Regret, that's what I said, you gotta live to the fullest
Gettin paid for bein' laid, like a bubble 'bout to burst
Maximise your potential, frailed when I fail to hit the nail
Hup-hup, seconds left with one to trail, what does this entail?
This is your turn to burn, like a clockwise turn on the clock
Symbolisin' your time's runnin' out, bullet thru' a shot
Your candle like hope.. always diminishin'.. Thru life.. Alwayz wishin'..
Not to be betrayed.. But that's life.. always greyed..

Hope it's not too bad. Opz please.

it's just that.. I've just had another cycle, skimming thru some of the past.. It's just stupid. Haha. Hope I'll never have to repeat that cycle. thx 'guys.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Ideal

Reality..

Something so far..


And ever so near.


Gunnin' down the troops of liberty, that's the problem with me
I can't sit on the fence and do nothin', that's not like me
When he turns a blind eye to what the truth has to say
He ain't got no proof, tuggin' it out with his homies, today
Or yesterday, Monday to Friday, Friday to Sunday
I'm battlin' for honours fightin' for a future pay
The way of life...? Hmm.. I'm free from treachery, search my treasury
Brotherhood or mankind.. Behold the blood soaked in this weaponry...


That day I came over to this place with no labels or warnings
Death at the end, it's anger over shy, dagger for killin'
The special one, claimed to be the filial one, never enough fun
Three two one, Three to one, it's close to none, you laugh and I run
No joke told like the innocent folk, see where you gettin' at?
It's words with clotted blood, see where the threat is at?
The rat is reared, the brat is here, like how much dread is feared
Nothin' severe, accelerate the gear when death is near..


When you told me rap won't work, this quirk attitude
I was just a little jerk livin' in his world, call me a rube
Shake this head off, what's that, you scared, 'ab? You were dissin' me too
I was a fool to listen to you! And that sunshine ray
I couldn't trust what you said, but I think that's okay to me
At least, that smirk on your face when I saw you that day
Like you spending seventeen like fifty, me spendin' seventeen
Like I was thrifty, to think that I've grown out of my teen
Longer than you did, more than you know, but that's how it goes
When time's spent, emotion grows, and from then we started to roll
Wait a sec, like 'spend some time with me' was our signal
When lone creeps to reap me apart, this line keeps flowin'
Through time, space, you've seen me blazin', and pacin' off
'The Death' was more than you think, like jesus, blowing off
He was revived on easter, the sunday of resurrection
Secular, back in spectacular fashion..

And the ideal world,
Beyond complexion..

Somethin' ever so far.

Didn't really focus on flow.
Just had these thoughts runnin' thru my mind after Saturday morning.