I can't miss you enough.

I don't know why these pictures always makes me want to cry in tears of both sorrow and joy. I was just.. bored and sick of all the school work I decided to message Sabine and ask if they celebrate Halloween as well. That was all.

And then she sends me back pictures of the their Halloween preparations and quite honestly, I was literally ROTFL when I saw the picture of little Leo dressed in his skeleton costume. I got up, instantly shared these pictures with Cheryl and Jeslyn (without Sabine's permission, heh). I just couldnt contain the gush of happiness I felt seeing the fun they're having.

Gosh I miss Münster.

Just pondering a question in my head these few days after conversations with Druga, Jeslyn and Wai Kit as I've somehow met them relatively frequently this semester. I wonder if it's just me holding on tightly to these special memories of Münster, or if everyone else feels the same. Certainly for Druga and Jeslyn I'm sure it meant a lot to them; but for the rest.. I'm not sure anymore.

I think of the last day when we departed Münster for our other respective destinations, and I recall everyone promising themselves that they will one day return to this magical place and visit their host families. Yeah bullshit. Some day when everyone's gotten a job, had the opportunity to travel as widely as they want and can, perhaps this place will just be reduced to "a trip" we had to Europe.

But to me it will always be THE trip.

It's the space and time that all comes together to make sense to everything. And I thank NUS and Wipdaf for making all of these happen. Which is why I will always write letters and cards to them over the festive seasons to greet them and ask them how they are doing. Perhaps it would all have been better if things didn't happen back at home, but well.. everything must have happened for a reason. I've seized it; I've made the best of my opportunity learning the language, being exposed to the culture and all... And with the company of the other students and our host families, really, how can anyone forget this place or the people?

And yet, some do. Memories somehow feel so surreal and overrated. I recall Kat used to love this quote: "Feelings will go away, but memories will stay", and even though we're not even friends now, I still remember a lot of these little things that happen in my life. Yet memories... don't mean anything at all. In the end, one simply 'undo' these memories by untagging themselves off pictures, and deleting them. It's that simple.

Nothing is eternal, but I'm glad I made the trip to Paris even though I was so reluctant to. I just knew these god damn memories will get back at me at Paris, but still, I'm glad even newer memories came into the frame. But we sink back into reality back home, and soon. These memories fade, and reduce to nothingness.

So perhaps it's time to go.. Or is it yet?

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And that Friday after Halloween, I went to meet up with Jeslyn after Aikido training to have supper/ coffee at Holland Village. Somehow I was feeling down that I was among the 3 other seniors who turned up for training today. Siyuan left early, and I felt so alone that my other friends, Sarun in particular, had left the club.

I miss those days training with him; he was always a joy to have at training, and someone funny, jovial yet mature. Someone whom I felt comfortable working and planning all the CCA activities with, someone I felt I could confide my relationship problems in. He is afterall, much older than we are for a year one student, haha. Out of the blue I decided to text him, and asked him if we could meet for breakfast or something before the semester ends. Man is he busy since he got attached haha. But well, I can understand how people change their priorities. I'm glad he's found something else that he enjoys doing :) We'll definitely meet for breakfast @ Tembusu again haha.

Anyways, it's always a pleasure chatting with Jeslyn, and I felt so much better after the long conversation (we left Xin Wang HK Cafe at about 1:40 am or something I think). Tried to get Sita to come along but she was busy, sigh. But we'll have plenty of chances in Sem II before I head off to Germany I'm sure.

Thanks Jeslyn for being my friend.

And, on a random note, if Aidan you're reading (you're the only loyal fan I know of this blog haha), I hope you're doing fine. Can't wait to meet you back in Singapore.

Cheers to health and peace. Because they're the most important of all. and then comes your principles and values. I'm happy that you're happy, my friends.