To this day, I mourn..

Unusual dreams haunt you when you think you've forgotten about them.

I seldom dream, but when I do, it's surprising that I can actually remember what I have dreamt.

But to you up there, there's something that I wished I had the chance to tell you, but I didnt.

In primary school, I always hated Science, always scoring just average for my tests and exams...
Not that I really care about academics now, but I felt that if there was someone who could really change the mindset of students, it was you.

6F never really kicked off to working hard for PSLE.
Cause everyone hated studies.

Then you came in, and changed the whole situation.

Among all the teachers I have met, none of them gave a damn about their students...

But you were different, not like those teachers who circumvent,
Like those angels from heaven you represent, your loss we lament
For justice you made a stand, for your rights you would defend for it,
Fight for it, contrite for any motherfucker who dares to quit
Of the slackers you persuaded to make a flit.. It was lives you lit
None in the class was left behind, none of our pranks did you mind,
It's crazy shit that we were confined, it's lazy kids you refined
You got the class to unite, now we divide, pain and memories subside...

Remember you got us to stand side-by-side, like men we held on tight
And when you tripped and fell, just when you were doing a show-and-tell
The class laughed, you got on your feet, went back to your seat
As tears rolled down your cheek, thinking how cheap we are, "Bizarre!"
You wonder where these kids would end up after graduation,
House estates agents, another cleaner cleaning up the gents?
Maybe another bankrupt who's just keen to earn a few cents?
NONSENSE! Potential is what you see, "just locks missing the key"

Came in, inject some sense, words that weren't nice, put us on the device
"God, give 'em some advice!" Message sender.. You.. In front of our eyes
Like waves that surge, like litters up the shore you purge, Strive, I URGE!
Push on you must, never give up even if you're one of the last,
Even if you're off your task, live with no mask, live with no regret
Got that? Now after the big days, what you sow is what you get
Finally.. The big days were over, and the 'fever' deteriorates
Leave the school with pride, the spirit, and always remember what I said..

When we came back to get our results, fear occult, then tears of joy
None more warmer than yours, student-teachers no more, 'fly away boys'!
Freedom.. From that fucking school that used us as tools, but not you
Stayed in contact, connection.. Then kids back in action, forming factions
Back to the 'nest' to visit those who moulded me, all left, so deft!
But you? Always there to help chicks preparing for their biggest fight - flight
A touching moment, you had my greatest respect, perfect I suspect?
Strong and healthy, unexpectedly, devil sets in stealthly..

Why? Why the unfair ruling of god? My lord, see clearly!
This woman is the greatest person ever, she should be loved dearly!
As the lungs expand and contract, the number of cells subtracts..
Inconspicuous, lookin' ready to bring this batch of chicks to flight,
By then she was still young in her early 30s.. The phone had rung..
Time to go, my lady, your lungs can't support, end of span.. Now report!
The strong evilish devils were dead wrong my lord! Undeserved!
A sin.. Did she commit? If so, I'll serve any sentence for it!!!

And that night, I woke up shivering in agony.. Internal struggle.. 'Cause I never had the chance to say goodbye to you.. 'Goodbye'.. Is really very difficult to word.. Especially when you just left us, without prior notice, that you were heading for the stairway to heaven..

Did you know something? I once saw a woman at Katong Shopping Centre, just a couple of months before Harng-Yi told me you left all of us.. There was this woman with her old mother, and she very much resembled you.. But then hesitancy sets in.. She's too skinny for you. .Too pale too.. So I decided to take it that it was just another person on this god-damn earth who looks like another person I know. But 2 months later when Harng-Yi rang me up to inform me of the bad news, then I realised that the woman was not someone else..















It was you.


To you up there, I'd just want you to know:
Even though it's been 2 years since you've left..
The impact you have made before your candle glowed for the last second, is phenomenal..
As we all grow up, we lose our innocence, and our dedication to our goals..
But I'm pretty sure being a teacher was your goal in your life. And now, being more mature than I was, I'd like to say that you really kept your innocence and your dedication, and stretched your helping hands to a lot of us..

Then, as I wanted to complete my sentence, there was this huge balloon that blew up in front my eyes. It was labelled 'HOPE'.
And I woke up.

How idiotic is that?

But I still recall what I wanted to say to you before the connection from the earth to heaven was cut off..

"Even though at this point of time many of the 6F people may have forgotten you, but it is to this day, I mourn.."