In 10 mins! Too long for this short.

Everytime I step into the same old place with sighs in my face
I can only regret what I did, or said, and go in search of solace
Seeing these pretty faces of the same race staring me in the face,
"It's a crazy race," I tell myself, as I yearned to be in outta space
Feelin' outta place, hopin' I could vanish without a trace
Only to embrace the fact I'm the one out-paced and outta pace
If that's the case I'd wish for a wish for my memory to erase
And replace it with some garbage I could treat as waste
But fuck that, I'm in a couch potato, like a hot potato
Being thrown and passed down the line, and I summon a rhyme
With words sworn one at a time, like stories 'once upon a time'
This ugly blue donned with a platted silver, without it it's a crime
I ate this, you take this, I wake this, you fake this, I hate this!
How much you didn't know words were lethal till you make this
Pissed, angered, teenage angst boils within, till I questioned Him
What made me deflect off his path for me, "I was here by no chance"
As he spoke, reflectin' off my wrath for 'thee, "No one is here by chance"
Some crazy shit makin' me choose things I regret, but it's the little things I get
That makes the whole lot of a difference, if only I was still young..
But no more, as I've lived to outgrown this immaturity that's swallowed my tongue..

Time..

Youth doesn't last forever. And you only have once.
"So why not give it a try? Capitalise on it, if not you'll never use it."

That was my argument.

Yet time just slips away every single moment, and so does our youth.

From what I thought were good friends of mine, each turned out to be.. Distant.. And even more so with time.

Pat told me "True friends don't have to stay in close proximity", and how people tend to be "not in sight, not in mind". These things overwhelm me. I couldn't stop myself frow the flowing of these ideas.

I think I was a little naive.. Maybe too much.

真的是想得太完美了。

On ideas how to make this place a better place to be in.

A billion dollars to buy out LFC?
Haha. Dream on, said kw.

What a dreamer, but I don't think I'm the only one. I don't have to pinch myself to know i'm not dreaming. It's real.

Ha. What am I talking about? I don't know. I'm ENFJ. It's not entirely true. But about the blog thing, maybe. Haha. It was just last week I was still enjoying myself.. Still spending time with my relatives. And now I'm back here. Nevermind, fuck it. Blogs are not a convenient place for people to express themselves. I'd just like to recount my mood at this point of time.

Undistinguish-able.

Went Chingay briefing today morning.

Well I was late, waking up at 7.00 when I was suppose to meet cheryl tan at 7 at white sands. ha. The first thing I did after I woke up was to hurry change and rush down to the mrt station. It was 7.35 when I reached there. Felt so bad having her wait 30 mins for me for nothing. But fortunately it's just one person. How much trouble I would have brought to the rest had I decided to go with yongjie, steve, ivan, jianyao, jonathan, kelvin. Ha. But it was still a hard day for me. I woke up feeling shitty and couldn't pick myself up to be ready for the day.

And the longer the day dragged, the worse I felt. Lucky I had the company of cheryl to talk rubbish with. I can't stand people who are too serious and fake. Ha.

Anyways, the thing was suppose to start at 8.30 and end at 12.30, but it started at 9.30 instead (I reached at 9 =X), and ended at 12.30 too. I have no idea why they had been so optimistic that their activities would be fun and engaging when it seemed so easily settled. The situation thing was suppose to last for an hour, but it was little more than 30 mins at most. Lol.

So it turned out to be a good thing at least, for me, I was undergoing further torture. The icebreakers were okay, but I never got the feeling it was gonna be successful, as in, get people to engage and know each other. We're still total strangers, no matter how much they try to inculcate the unitedness in us. Ha.

Don't matter. After chingay we all waited for yongjie (he's leader of carpark 9, ha) before leaving. I left for bugis to have lunch at ajisen with mum and sis whilst the rest went junction 8 to have lunch together.

Yet, up till this point I've not mentioned anything about anything undistinguish-able. It's what I feel, is the truth. How you feel about others may not necessarily be the case. Someone who was ur buddy for a year may just become another common stranger standing beside you in the next year. How funny right.

Whatever, whatever. I can't take the pressure anymore.

Finished on 22 jan, 5.45pm.

Quality > Quantity.

Yea yea JC's stress and tough that's for sure. Undeniable. So these days when I get the time to go out with friends I can't feel grateful enough when I get the time. So I realised. It's not about spending a lot of time together with your friends.. That'll be great of course, but sometimes reality clamps us down and we gotta be satisfied that we get the chance to go out together. Even if it means like once in one or two months.

So we had actually planned to go out together to buy myself a guitar. Jisoo suggested sunday, since she has church and performs every week (or so I think). YC, Jisoo and myself we all three play the guitar, so she suggested we watch her perform and then head on to buy my guitar before having lunch.

It's the first time I've seen Jisoo perform! I still remember her playing my guitar at the SA canteen, although can't really recall what song she performed. She said she played the electric guitar, so I was really looking forward to listening her perform.

As it turned out, she didn't perform those songs which I thought would be able to show her technique - it was for church! How can I forget. But still the smooth, flowing melodies were nice, and I could feel for the guitarists who had to strum none-stop for the whole session..!

I wanted to take pictures of her performing but our view were blocked by the group of singers in front of her! Ha. So nvm, we just sat there quietly (and clapping) with Jisoo's sister listening to the melodious tunes. Oh and I didn't know Jisoo's dad was some head for the korean church (The bible society). He was reciting the prayers as the three of us slipped through the back door silently. Ha. His dad looks like those type of dads who are strict.. and conservative? I think. Not really sure how his dad's like.. I've never hear jisoo talking about her dad, but that's my first overall impression. ha.

With just a mere budget of $250, I knew I was always gonna experience some difficulty in getting an acoustic guitar I'll really like. We went to peninsula there, and, as i expected, many shops were closed on sundays. So that limited my choices even further. We spent some 2 hours i think, walking around and trying out the guitars. It was really quite embarassing for us coz we seemed like the only noobs around there! =X

Finally I managed to find a guitar I really like, but it costs $380! It comes with an inbuilt tuner, amplifier and a guitar bag. It's worth the money I think. I'll try to convince my dad to get me one of those I hope. That's my target (minimum), and that'll mean I'll have to work extra harder to save even more if I wanna satisfy myself. Ha.

Jisoo was starving, so we went off to.. SUBWAY! Insatiable appetite I had cause I was hungry too, and craving for those subway sandwiches which I haven't had for.. MONTHS! Had loads to chat about, ranging from PAE, to our new schools, what our future career choices are like, to how's life been for us recently. Jisoo actually wants to be a dentist! Ha.

After lunch at subway (which we spent around 1.5 hrs), we went walking around aimlessly in marina square. Moneyless, cashless, aimless, we could only touch and envision ourselves possessing those materialistic things we can dream of having. Hai. That really emphasizes again the power of money in today's world. Without it, there's so many things we can't do. But with money, we probably will never need to wander around craving for those.. with our friends. ha.

It's really quality > quantity.
It's been quite incredible how we can come so far from being regular, casual friends from PAE, to becoming friends who just enjoy each other's company, no matter how seldom we actually get to enjoy that, it's still quality time spent. Everyone's future come first. What we can do is encourage each other, and hope we'll stick through these tough times together.

Really hope we'll get to stick together for the many years to come.

Farewell.

Sorry have been delaying and procrastinating this post for like.. 3,4 weeks! Time really flies. Hey but at least I tried uploading several times! And really was frustrating I had to try several times before it could upload.

It just seemed like we got to know each other weeks ago. But it's really a year since SAJC PAE Orientation 07. Pat was still having her braces on and yuchuan was still crazy about kboxing. ha. we were all slackers, but we didn't regret - those were the few days we could slack. Not the pressure and stress just mounts and mounts so high that I can hardly look back.

It was New Year's Day. We were all preparing for the start of the new year. Couldn't say it was a last minute thing, but we really only decided the time and the people on the day itself. Tried to get more people to come, but didn't really know who else to ask from the OG. Initially I thought pat's flight was in the morning, so Ji soo gladly said she could come along to send pat off. Till the confirmation that the flight was at night. 11pm flight if i can remember. Having prepared all the things (it wasn't a lot, but still it was from the heart), I met yuchuan before going to meet pat so that he could sign and write on the card.

Pat was so nice she prepared farewell gifts for us too! A book for me and a box of chocolates for yc. And of course, what she left with us is more than just the book and the box of chocolates. It was memories. Sweet memories.

Really can't wait for the OG to be reunited once everyone's done with their education and NS. The OG's reduced to just yc, jisoo and myself, but really, it's quality over quantity. What SA left with us, despite it being just 2 months - is something that I don't think I'll ever be able to experience again.

Below are photos at the airport. Sorry there were actualy more, but some were blury =X The rest is with Pat and YC..




Pat reluctantly gave in to my persistent requests for BIG WIDE smiles. Without her braces. Haha.

Someone please tell me how to rotate the photo in blog!


At the Xmas tree near T2 Burger King.


Well we won't get to take such pictures for years again.

That's about it.
Somethings in life we will never be able to keep, for these are what we call treasure.

2008

So 2008 started with the departure of another friend - Pat.

I didn't really feel anything when she left initially, I just felt it was a part and parcel of everyone else; everyone had to leave someday.

Then suddenly reality came down on me.

O.G.27 has been splitted up.

How Pat used to tell me that WeiQi reminded us OGs wouldnt last till June. She was right - partially. At least a few of us tried real hard to keep in touch with one another.

• Yu Chuan: I did hang out with YC sometimes, occassionally once in a while. We even went to watch fireworks the other time. Ha!
• Pat: The random smses. Even though they can be real short sometimes, it can be heart-warming to know at least she's making an effort to keep in touch with her friends, no matter how difficult it can be in a difficult time like in JC.
• Jing: My penpal!
• Ji Soo: Well I don't exactly really know her, but she's a nice person! I hope we'd get to celebrate her birthday this year or smth. One year passes so fast! To think the other time Yu Chuan and I treated JiSoo, Jing and Mandy to Gelare. Ha.

So there were so many things we did together, although there really wasnt much time for us to hang out together.

But we did! That was what's important - the memories! But it seems everyone's just got on with their own lives.

How how I felt so bad and saddened when I saw the new batch of JC1s. Is it just another cycle of what we had? I don't know. Everyone's left the O.G., although I'll still of course, try to get everyone to keep in touch. YuChuan especially, since he used to be the 'head' of the O.G. ha.

And now that the next batch isn't gonna have PAE, whether that is a bad thing or not remains to be seen.

The first week of school hasn't been a pleasant one - forget about having a fun one. The only thing I could take pride from was that a few of us went to the gym together to train. I hope I'll be able to pass my NAPFA minimum requirements this year. I certainly do not want to waste anymore time doing things that aren't worth my effort and time.

I'm not happy with life here, I don't know what else there's for me to look forward to. But so long as I'm well and alive, I think I shouldn't complain. I should just concentrate and focus to think about my future - university choices of course. And before I can even think or talk about that, I think it's still the mouthless paper that does all the talking - the exam grades certs of course.

And when 2008 comes to an end, I'm not sure how many people will look back on this, but it's the choices that we make that has contributed to so many of these things!

Now it has come to a point whereby I don't even know whether I should be doing all these or not. But one thing for sure, I love my family, my sisters (those 3 of course), my friends. I hope to keep in touch with all, but when the day comes, I'll have to accept it. No matter where everyone'll go. You've all been a part of my 2007.

Where maturity grows, there'll be elements of innocence lost. I did try to look forward to 2007, but the same cannot be said of 2008. I've seen through things.. I wished I hadn't.

Anyways, I must say a big thank you to Pat for giving me that book which I have just started to read a few moments ago. It's not the enlightenment, but rather, the understanding of what I used to believe in. Nonetheless, a big thank you to you. =D

Take care, my friend.