Thursday, July 07, 2011

Saddening Happiness

Happy man outside, a sad man inside
Most of y'all don't really wanna see my real side
'cause I have too much pride and I don't confide
In people I don't know, keeping distance in strides
Most of y'all equate bitches to women and sluts
But never knew the definition of true love
For one I've never had it too, thought love was true
Till I was dumped back then, yea I felt it too
See, I'm not about to emo on this blog again
Too many wasted minutes on stupid so-called friends
Attempt to vent, hatred inks with this pen
The high life, I could never really understand
Or contemplate the world with its order tipped over
Religion and faith I try to wave but I pushed over
'cause I ain't feelin' it, so I don't believe in it
Seein' is believing and I don't see the point of it
Played it cool, try to stay true but instead I turned blue
I ain't a scholar, but I ain't no motherfucking fool too
When they told me I was bottom of the meridian
You never gonna make it, so get out of the system
But I stuck with it, played with it, even rolled over it
And now see where I'm standin', on this same concrete
There are no blinds, there is no sign, and there is no line
No rules, so I'ma reclaiming the lost and what was mine
Clueless about the boundaries of the space of time
Facin' set-backs, but I declined and still deter-mined
To one day make it like the athletes who did it
Thru' the struggles and the fall, and proud of it

Sadness, can you express, take the stress test
From the tip of the high-est, this I confess
Pointless, to hide inside your blanket all day
Get a air fresher, an air breather, let it fade away
Clear the air with a little, music filled drizzle
Let the jazz fizzle, take away the miserable
Bosa Nova is good when it sets the mood
I love it the most, classic music is all good
I tapped my feet to it, attempt to dance
Fucked it up with bad rhythm 'cause I can't dance
But I didn't come out to dance, I came to have fun
Even if it means dancing alone with no one
Just wanna have a good time, this time is mine
Work and love, the two last things on my mind
But now that I mention it, awww fuck it
Painful memories tempt to evoke, but I just shut it
I am happy today, better than yesterday or the day before
Than I can imagine, within the soul's deepest core
Lies the happiest man on earth, you just gotta know it
A big wide smile to the sky, yes I too damn know it

I've gotten over it.
There's a drive and a sense of purpose.
'cause I love my fam more than I have ever I thought I did.
And there's music to do.. Looking forward to every recording.
The nights aren't that scary anymore huh. hahahaha. How silly.

I'm so happy and I damn I feel it. I'm so happy.

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