感言15.12.2011

我不再難過了

我看見自己是多麽的美麗，那麽的多有魅力，別人是給予我多麽多的愛

雖然每人能真正擁有愛，我可是真正的體會到了

換個新環境，其實對自己很好

謝謝你給我這個機會，我會好好把握的

don't be ridiculous

don't be ridiculous

just because you rhyme the last word of every sentence doesn't make it a fucking poem

WHERE IS YOUR FLOW

WHERE IS YOUR SKILL

WHERE IS YOUR TECHNIQUE

More importantly,

WHERE IS YOUR MESSAGE

t.u.m.

FUCKING 4:19 in the MORNING

FOREVER WRITING TILL I GET DISCOVERED

the.unhappily.married. (purely fictional)

Mirage, life and death, toasts to coke and meth

Co-existence, fallen deaf, angels of spiritual theft

Can't do it alone, still rolling with the rolling stone

Got nowhere to go, 'cause this is where he calls his home

Hosts and parasites thin nest-cage equivalence

Little man has little options, middle man acquaintance

The wage war commisions, meddle conversations

Winding pi fractions beyond brine saturations

Asking why the heart status, merger, democracy

Understand why bird heart the caged I know suddenly

It's a stolen nature, vulgar urban roaches

Gettin' richer quicker fuckin' drunkards on liquors

While the "young salewoman sets up shop when the sun sets"

Guarantee to detach the souls that were matched

Plus a plaster plastacine, injest penicillin

Wakin' to bathroom floors, where the hell have you been?

The Child

So I stepped back, recollect, regret the shit I've said

But the words' been out, I guess I can't take them back

I was like a child, refused to wait for the soup to chill

Scalded his tongue so bad, two weeks and still he's ill

Subsequent meals, coupled with subsequent bills, now he's

Mentally ill from the medical pills that actually kills

The truth is concealed cause he will not reveal, he's

Bottlin' it like a contraceptive pill, he will distill

Pneumatic drills into the hard core truth, the literal

Imagined emotions in temples, thoughts hypothetical

Killed the sabbatical, there's nothing left but sentimental

Memories of yesterday carried away in opticals

Souls of nights cease, lone, a mistaken disease

In the cities of tall buildings, the cold air, the breeze

Contaminants I breathe, the same one that I sneeze

And that desire for a friendship I could not release

In retrospect the kid should have calmed down and respect

Choices of an individual, who was he to expect

Suspecting a doubt that only brought frustrations

Psychological state of mind that maybe spells limerence

Pitching a higher tolerance, building a balance

With scales of a sign that epitomize elegance

Cause if perfection was he, he'd be an embarassment

So he stabilized and composed archaeological remnants

In the initials of crap verse, two stanzas will immerse

Arguing shit, two by four, the last eight lines of this verse

Maybe rehearsed, with pens inversed you can call it adverse

So long an intersperse, hope that this may be reversed

Only method to salvage the broken intended recipient

Relating this to reactions of an 'angry man asian'

Repent or remorse, re-penned and reinforced

You know, if friendship ain't meant to be, it shouldn't be forced

Too late, haha

Traditional rhyme schemes, original rhymin'

Know-identity

My mind is polluted by sounds that come from my headphones

But my choice is peculiar, that's why I'm always feeling the lone

I'm having a hard time trying to fit into mainstream taste

Repulsion every time I diss that mainstream waste

It's a lame dream race, let's face it, the wealth and the fame

I'm never gonna make it the thought of it brings shame

The bells ring change, it starts to rain as I feel disdain

Droppin' plains of pain, it starts to faint but I'm still the same

And something I still don't understand, I can't comprehend

How the fuck am I supposed to move on without a plan

Now, I'm breaking relationships over petty little things

Seems to me I don't really know myself, I'm having flings

Mingling around with the shit I ain't supposed to mess with

But fuck it, I ain't got anything on me to start with

好聽

你的版本真的很好聽

聽了好舒服 心裏好多了

不認識你，但還是要謝謝你

生病了

最近好難過

沒想到一個病可以拖那麽久還不快好

只想朋友、親人的安慰鼓勵快好起來

不想自暴自棄但真的好想放棄

說要死掉也太誇張

不過内心真的快撐不下去

看到這則網post的朋友可以說我很軟弱

可是這段時間裏，真的，我好想一個人靜一靜

皮膚惡化、精神氣色一天比一天糟糕

不想出門，我是怎麽搞的

這不是以前開心活潑的阿淵，你在幹嘛

懷疑自己快患上憂鬱症，明明就很多朋友邀約，自己是不孤單的

但是好像越來越孤僻了

生病了，臉紅腫了，I look grotesque

but why the fuck do i care?

靠腰 你管好自己就好了 不要來煩我

done.. won.

It's a common question asked a million times

Even more times you tried to force that shit rhyme

Life, love, stress and setbacks, show me where your heads at

Cause honestly I'm tired of the bullshit and fake acts

Fuck a job demeaning, it's a fight against the odds

Inscribing life's meanings, it's a fight against the Gods

I'm ignoring texts, emails and messages

Just so they notice my struggle with the rummages

I'm aged twenty one, but my mind is really older

Who the fuck am I kiddin', isolated in the corner

Trying to fit in but you can't you fucking Termite

They try to ruin you, label you, reduced to plights

But seriously, you think you all that great

Go out there and face reality before it's all but too late

Demonstrate, show them how it's supposed to be done

Fuck a break, show them how it's supposed to be won

somewhere else

I'M VERY CONVINCED I DON'T BELONG HERE

'cause this is the only thing i want to do

I WILL BE A FUCKING DOPE LYRICIST

travel!

http://www.fluentin3months.com/life-lessons/

無暇的美麗

無暇的美麗

現實生活中我們不在一起

但妳可知道我每天想著妳

我們的愛情史美麗得可惜

同住在這城市卻失去聯繫

成人生活繁忙複雜得可怕

這世界又一直不停的變化

讓人不再擁有單純的想法

我想再來的話也不一樣吧

在分手時說出最狠的話我沒忘記

我們用歲月建立的一切多不爭氣

妳不顧我軟弱脆弱的心將它打碎

現在互相後悔也不能彌補得了誰

日子匆匆過去我的人生向前走了

我不再幼稚了從此再也不抱怨了

但偶爾的寂寞不斷勾起我的回憶

我也只能偷偷回頭迷失在那夢裏

感謝妳讓我看到真實的殘酷事實

人生的不完美其實才是完美的事

所以我用回憶畫出曾經完美的妳

只有在那時空裏妳是無暇的美麗

friend on fb.. so?

connected by the internet

but it's sad we no longer chat

放棄

有太多的話想對妳說

太多的想法說不出口 我太懦弱

太害羞膽小不敢獻醜 我想太多

想當初的溫柔當初的見面

現在只想要再多見妳一面

你怎麽沉默不説話了

難道連朋友都不當了 我說穿了

我知道妳比從前快樂 那我呢

我只能在這角落等待未來

等待未來有一天妳會回來

外面的世界紛擾喧鬧

電視的負面新聞報道

我們的故事沒有人會知道

他們不瞭妳對我有多重要

我又到這路口的交叉

這就是我們的結局嗎 沒準備好

來得太快來得太突然 我沒想到

原來我是這麽這麽的愛妳

我是多麽的不捨得放開妳

明知道不可能 卻又想牽起妳的手

有種莫名衝動 把妳摟在我的胸口

求妳今晚別走 願妳陪我躲在被窩

我們什麽不做 讓時間像流沙溜走

或許輪回注定 這一生不能在一起

所以選擇放棄

yachtes and boats

Hello, are you dead or are you still running alive

Times get harder and colder after you survive

Living on borrowed times, whose turn is it to shine

It's laughable how you try put your past behind

Reclaim stolen eclipse and sunshine, these are shadowed times

Of mellow rhymes that cannot cross the yellow lines

Where's the boundary, can't locate it, you forsake it

You berate it, like vanished money that you donated

What a tragic, swami gimmicks turned black magic

Coming around and calling it philosophy of logic

History repeats, yet another generation fooled

Paper chasers believing religiously in schools

These are peasant tools, you critic Socratic methods

Set the ball rolling, turning moments like effect Ratchet

Hatred in the veins of pessimists, socialists and Marxists

Axis tipping mentalists, opportunists and batteries

Work overload, I deviate onto the lonely road

Leavin' you cold, friends turn into the phony mode

So I'm searchin' for antidotes for the people I dote

Assailed by doubts as I embark a different boat..

what struggle?

As I sat at my table thinking of themes to write

I scratched my hair, pullin' those that had turned white

And still, I couldn't think of anything to write

So I sat there wasting my time from day to night

It's a mental fight, how did I end up in this woeful plight

Becoming a thief, stealing rhymes, with styles I bite

Becoming everything but the man who swore to abide

By the principles and rules I preach and cite, it's like

Exhaustion from the path and the waves you ride worldwide

Constantly searching for the grass 'on the other side'

Wished someone was here to be my guide, a bona fide

Teach a man to 'rap homicide', and whet his appetite

But look how he betides, angels circling the devils inside

Feelin' like politicians losing dignity and pride

Like political prisoners who die before being tried

Cast aside the great divide of the blacks and whites

Killin' the innocent like concentrated pesticides

They try to hide, insightful insights like the war brides

And denied to everybody they did it, fucking lies

But it's only time that people with real eyes will realize

Suddenly I feel like I have finally recognized, that

In comparison, my struggles are minute in size

Nobody sees tears when you're standing in the storm huh

Be a man, get up and fight for it, cousins, sisters.. bruh'

who sees your pain when they themselves are in adversity?

Nobody sees tears when you're standin' in the storm

Cancer (November 2011)

His best friendship asset: Deep Feelings

Since most relationships are initiated by a him, he looks to give rather than take, but at the same time wishes to be given too.

Science and mathematics are not ideal for a him as they don't allow sufficient space for personal opinions.

He will always try to maintain some kind of connection even in the most extreme circumstances.

He's one of the most bipolar signs, only true friends know how to deal with them.

morning mrs tay

Dear Mrs. Tay

I feel like paying you a visit after my exams.

But where and how do I find you?

I'm sure you're resting well among the stars.

Since 2005.

Yours sincerely,

Love

time to do something

Tired of hiding behind the screen?

It's time to do something.