Return: Pulse, Splitz..

Sorry for this late post..
Been pretty lazy lately.. haha..

I've returned to Singapore on the 23rd of December, around 11.30p.m. ..
It feels weird actually, to be back in Singapore..

Perhaps.. Maybe.. And I guess, I miss Taiwan.

After spending about one month over there, and after spending so many good times over there with my relatives, I've left much of my memories there.. Good ones..

I don't know when I'll be back, and even by then, I'm not sure if things will stay the same. Well, this is life. But it's also great to be back, and I'm looking forward to a brand new lease of life. =)

-still waiting for photos to be sent over- =Z

It feels so good to be BACK!

Life away from that tiny island..
Back to where I feel I belong..

Having arrived back here in Taiwan on the 28th Nov, I have been enjoying my stay over here... Over the past few days, I've been helping out with household chores because my grandparents really have a problem cleaning the house themselves.. Especially given the condition of my grandma.. It's not helped by my two little cousins in the house.. They help mess up the place right after we've tidied the place. =P Nonetheless, the place is comparitively neater and tidier now. No more empty boxes in the toilet, no more stained walls, no more uselss papers all over the living room, no more torn and smelly clothes in the empty room previously occupied by my uncle. I feel some sense of achievement - all these done by my mum and I =)

Winter season. Temperatures at around 14/ 15 degrees Celcius is really cooling.. And eating those 50cm-tall ice-cream and cold dessert in the natural air-conditioned surrounding makes it all the better. I love this feeling. Absolutely. And when my brother comes next week we're gonna play soccer. I can imagine the cold air feeling my lungs when I run... I just can't describe this feeling.. Like your lungs are gonna burst.. But you just feel that you have the unlimited energy within you to continue running and enable your lungs to run on the engine.. =)

During these few days I've been on an eating spree with my relatives.. I don't know how they do it, but they just seem to know where to get all the best food in this country =) From the alleys to the streets to night markets to restaurants, I don't think I've missed any good food. =) But the thought of gaining weight has put me off from eating.. But I can't help it.. I know it'd bad to eat too much in the night, but the 'real taiwan' only becomes alive at night =)
*I'll be posting some pictures of my family and I once I get the disk for the digital camera. =)

Lately, I've also been walking around the streets aimlessly with my elder cousin. We watched DEATH NOTE: The Last Name. I think it's not showing in Singapore yet, but I'd like to comment on it first. It's a nice movie if you know the story. But if you don't, you'd probably be clueless about the sequence of events. The edited version of the story will, however, dissapoint those who have read the comic. But I guess they had to shorten the whole story, or else the movie would probably go on and on and on...

And oh, in the comic, L dies before Light dies, but in the movie Light does before L dies. =Z

Besides that, I've been playing PS2 with my cousin.. Winning Eleven 10! We can play the god-damn box till early morning the next day. Our record: lights off at 6.30am. =P Fortunately he's having school vacation now.. So he can spend the whole night playing with me. Lolx. Then we wake up the next morning to 'report' to my uncle's noodle shop to help out... Surprisingly, I don't feel tired at all! =) I think I'm used to sleeping late now. =)

All these are to be short-lived though, 'cause nothing can stay forever.. I don't think anyone can feel the pleasure I'm feeling, so I'm really glad to be back.. In another 3 weeks I'll be back to where I left, so I might as well enjoy myself to the fullest extent whilst time flies.
[And while the elections fever is back.. Now I see the old politics-crazy Taiwan.. haha.. ]

Hmm.. I wonder what the rest of you guys doing over there?

Grad Nite '06

Graduation Night '06
23 November 2006



Morning:

Went to bugis with yewf to get his pair of leather shoes. gosh he bought a pair of very ugly shoes which i initially objected him buying. but i reluctantly agreed to let him choose 'cause we were runnin' late. Man he is sure conservative and choosy about things. Lol.


Afternoon:

Yew Fong, Jordan, Yu Xiang met at my house to go to school together.


-Yu Xiang: dressed in white suit with a black blazer and long pants (not school pants). Man he looks very different today. Very 'GLAMOUR'.


-Yewf: dressed in the ultimate gay colour - purple (long sleeve shirt) and long pants. He looks smart today. Really very unlike him - lookin' 'lost' - everyday in school. haha.


-Jordan: gosh. That was really gay. He wore an exactly identical shirt (long sleeve, blue vertical-lined pattern) as mine. I was utterly shocked to see someone wearing the exactly same shirt as me. We looked like brothers - or couples - or smth. Lol. And his pants colour didn't vary too much as mine. He must have copied my style or smth. Lol.


-Me. Dun talk abt it. Show u the picture of WeiJie and I. Lol.

Didn't really get a lot of pictures from the other ppl I think. Not much la.

Should try to get more from other ppl.

The Night:

Mary Anne, Ezra, Raihan, Samuel, Shawn, Jun Ji, Jordan, Jonathan, Yew Fong and I sat at the same table. Then throughout the whole thing I was joking around with Yew Fong and Raihan. Yewf ah.. Naughty. Keep looking at the -shall-not-be-named- sc. From band one lor. haha. well. last week leh. dun think there's anymore chance for u la huh. haha..

Anyways Zizie was chosen Princess as she won the runner-up by 1 vote. I voted for Zizie ok. Shows how much my vote meant to her. lol.

Anyways, the highlight of the night wasn't really anyone else..

But her. Despite being normally dressed and that she didn't put on make up to outshine the rest, she was, in my eyes, the prettiest one tonight.. But I dunno how long it'll last..

Afterall, someone said before:

美麗不是永恒的，但醜陋卻是永恒的.

haha. well. ppl may disagree but i don't care.

Birthday Girl, you were really the prettiest.

Grad Nite '06 GLAMOUR.

I don't think we'll ever keep in touch again, but yea. F it.

Textbook..

Education? Seems like exhumation of the living dead..

Ten years, fucking education, mixin' around with cats and dawgs
To drive living brains or become stupid as fuck like fucking logs
And the next morning you wake up you see whores, unconscious, fucking dogs
Wasted, fuck this shit, who's the time keeper who's rubbing these fucking clocks?
Torturous, mental horrors amplified, rapturous, echoes, dangerous
4 million fuckin' people seein' each other every day, yet strangerous
Wonderous, love makes the world go round, then tell me why there's no sound
Sigh, bears go astound-ed, this world seems to be against me, surrounded
The king who ruled the country with an iron fist, invisible yet invincible
Incredible or credible, these books, edible or inedible, history indelible
But these data are liable to get you brainwashed, 'so you're talking back'?
Fuck the government, you fucking cash raper, no worse than the grim ripper
Than the dream seeper, holy or unholy, live lonely or homely
'Home me or loan me,' pleads to the establishment, refused and rejected
'Tone me or moan me,' bleeds two, the compliment, defused and dejected
Eject or erect, subjective or objective, no body can give a fuck-less about success


The beloved undertaker

That type of life given to you, you just wont accept it
The more ignorant people get, the more I wanna stab it
Adept in it, I'm the except-ion, what they do, self-deception
How nice would life be if the world undergoes self-destruction
I'm pretending I'm not hearing no shit, false pretension tensions
The beloved undertaker, see these maniacs in action
But you need to get your brain relaxin', or stop heavy taxin'
How about some nervy waxin'? Or some chevy flexion?
We need some care and affection, so stop giving inspections
Give me some hope resurrection, maybe some dope injections
I need a life more than a living, so tell me the point of breathing
Sell me the fifth ring, but where's the first ring for these cursings?
I'm so thirsty, in the Sahara Desert, does that mean I have to convert?
Maybe I have to alert my army, but I know why they are inert
Brief flirtation with religion, but it got me complacent
To know what the cross represents, now nobody resents

The beloved undertaker.. Understand what their words meant?

Seize it tight in your hands

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain, American novelist/writer/lecturer (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910)

RE: Contents of your life

Seize it tight in your hands.
The present.

A life living for others ain't a life worth living for..

If you consider yourself as a brainless door
A painless whore, a sex tool to serve desperate bachelors
Never met happiness until she retires
Who ever conducted her to set her desires on fire
Models in magazines, she only admires
And gets back to life satisfying sexual desires
I'm twining this movie scene back to modern society
Where you'd get to see the complete complexity
First and third worlds, separated by these subtle screens
Disgusted, ignorant as can be in scuttled scenes
You can say I'm exaggerating, but I'm literal
I'm nothin' but the truth, proof, this example's simple

When I open my mouth, ample examples tape your mouth
Simple mathematics, the system's systematic
I'm asthmetic, if you see runners become dope addicts
It's hard and strict, rules making you become convicts
Be a prick, if you still can't figure out then suck a dick
Get a nick, maybe you can see our king's sick
He wants to rip you apart, slash your hearts - that's his art
Play your part, realise your life's set as a chart
Flick a brick with tricks, see how quick the clock clicks and ticks
Most of our lives been spent satisfying the sick
It's sick, they've been ripping benefits and we go through this shit?
The times spent in the office, but why can't we just quit?

If we could all just relax, sit back and think about it
Quit our jobs, settle for something we can commit
Twenty years down the road, see the life story we unfold
Then there's no reason we should end up as scapegoats
Danger, risk, every rhyme is a weapon, is a dagger
But the truth rejoices, I'll rather roll than stagger
We can all hear silence in every voice, the future poise
Loneliness in darkness, choiceless in every choice
So the next time you see fucking screens in front of your face
Save yourself from wasting life away in this place
If anyone wanted speed in their fucking life to succeed
Then well you could aimlessly heed what the greed needs

.. The cherished present, the relished future..

The present is gratifyin', everyday is satisfyin'
I reached for her hand and held it tight, the feelin' so mystifyin'..
It's unbelievable, but I've never came closer than this
Man in bliss, this chance probably never comes closer, I can't miss
When I reminisce about my sad past, mistakes, I won't repeat
I'm not gonna be a victim for another case of deceit
I don't promise, I don't owe to no god no dogs, no clocks no time
I'm not sure she's mine, but I know that she drives me outa my mind
From the first time we met, we started closer than close, love I suppose?
So this was the path we chose, only we know, our story forms prose
How I used to change my targets like changing clothes, but now I know
No matter where I go, my emotion has grown, so let's just start.. Slow.

23rd October 2006
Unforgetable.

The evidence?

His arms were straining, while he just sat down alone with his heart paining
His palms stained with bloodshed, not literally, on his passage to gain things
It's a saint thing, people got him gunning down with invisible weapons
Invincibles in them, time ticks by, breathing heavier at every second
Regret, guilty conscience struck in him, angels of devils got him staring
So you see him standing on the stage starring, roots of evil got him earrings
Hot things, we had to shot him, stab him, grab them, heck, just leave them mourning
Grieve them mornings, fifth in line for the scorning, gift in the mind, saying 'sorry's
Till they wake up in the morning trembling and scrambling, guilty in the heart
Filthy in the art, this moment they could be saying they really suck
And the next time they could be kings, shame to be deceived, clings
Blink, now wishing they sink, wishing they be selling onion rings at burger kings
Hunger kings, equipped with acquisitive heart, now I feel pain in the butt
In the neck, how great if they could just spit and spat and just tell the truth, but
In the deck, we shuffle and scuffle, angry at everytime they drive us mad
Revive the sad, when they know I could be the truth, now tell me who needs the proof?

Who needs to move, they pointing rifles at us, ganging at us, banging at lust
Dissapointing us, we were the ones who were appointing trust, unjust..
Now nobody knows who to trust, burning money in hell before they rust
So all I ask, "Do they mask? What's their task?" They disgust, "IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD!"
Hiddin' guns in the mud, put on a false face 'cause they start cryin' hard
Dying hard, I could consider trying hard to discard 'the card'; wild card
Burning in the greed of flame, rid of fame, how much I wish I could meet the tamed
I need my name, speaking in the creed of game, who's insane, now 'STRIP THE SANE'
This time I lead them through the lake of clarity, all to shake reality
Clean the face of the charred, praise the scarred, now now, show me what's 'true charity'
Nobody ever proves the verity, only put me through insularity
Hollerin' how lyrically overflowed I am with vulgarities
Sanity! God is prononouced Saint-ly, this dog denounced words of the bible
In this time that we live in, from the air that we breathe in, SWORDS ON THE DOUBLE

Never wanted to ask for trouble, provoke your beliefs that you called it

But we people living just to prove it.. It's stupid isn't it? It's just stupid..

Predictions proven true?

But there's so many people livin' in this god damn world..

Is it a mere coincidence?

Tryin' to discredit the works of people by sayin' it was written..

So where's your evidence?

The Ex-Worker's Collective (November 16 2005)

To all readers of my blog, this is a
MUST READ: =)
The Contents of Your Daily Life

How many hours a day do you spend in front of a television screen? A computer screen? Behind an automobile windscreen? All three screens combined? What are you being screened from? How much of your life comes at you through a screen, vicariously?

Is watching things as exciting as doing things? Do you have enough time to do all the things that you want to? Do you have enough energy to? Why? And how many hours a day do you sleep? How are you affected by standardized time, designed solely to synchronize your movements with those of millions of other people? How long do you ever go without knowing what time it is? Who or what controls your minutes and hours? The minutes and hours that add up to your life? Are you saving time? Saving it up for what?

Can you put a value on a beautiful day, when the birds are singing and people are walking around together? How many dollars an hour does it take to pay you to stay inside and sell things or file papers? What can you get later that will make up for this day of your life?

How are you affected by being in crowds, by being surrounded by anonymous masses? Do you find yourself blocking your emotional responses to other human beings? And who prepares your meals? Do you ever eat by yourself? Do you ever eat standing up? How much do you know about what you eat and where it comes from? How much do you trust it?

What are we deprived of by labor-saving devices? By thought-saving devices? How are you affected by the requirements of efficiency, which place value on the product rather than the process, on the future rather than the present, the present moment that is getting shorter and shorter as we speed faster and faster into the future? What are we speeding towards? Are we saving time? Saving it up for what?

How are you affected by being moved around in prescribed paths, in elevators, buses, subways, escalators, on highways and sidewalks? By moving, working, and living in two- and three-dimensional grids? How are you affected by being organized, immobilized, and scheduled rather than wandering, roaming freely and spontaneously? Scavenging? (Shoplifting?) How much freedom of movement do you have--freedom to move through space, to move as far as you want, in new and unexplored directions?

And how are you affected by waiting? Waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting to eat, waiting for the bus, waiting to urinate--learning to punish and ignore your spontaneous urges? How are you affected by holding back your desires? By sexual repression, by the delay or denial of pleasure, starting in childhood, along with the suppression of everything in you that is spontaneous, everything that evidences your wild nature, your membership in the animal kingdom? Is pleasure dangerous?

Could danger be joyous? Do you ever need to see the sky? (Can you see many stars in it any more?) Do you ever need to see water, leaves, foliage, animals? Glinting, glimmering, moving? Is that why you have a pet, an aquarium, houseplants? Or are television and video your glinting, glimmering, moving? How much of your life comes at you through a screen, vicariously? If your life was made into a movie, would you watch it? How do you feel in situations of enforced passivity?

How are you affected by a non-stop assault of symbolic communication--audio, visual, print, billboard, video, radio, robotic voices--as you wander through a forest of signs? What are they urging upon you? Do you ever need solitude, quiet, contemplation? Do you remember it? Thinking on your own, rather than reacting to stimuli? Is it hard to look away?

Is looking away the very thing that is not permitted? Where can you go to find silence and solitude? Not white noise, but pure silence? Not loneliness, but gentle solitude? How often have you stopped to ask yourself questions like these? Do you find yourself committing acts of symbolic violence? Do you ever feel lonely in a way that words cannot even express? Do you sometimes feel yourself ready to LOSE CONTROL?

[Copied entirely from http://exworker.blogspot.com/2005/11/contents-of-your-daily-life.html]

Think about what was mentioned in this post..
Consider what determines our lives..
Is the over-emphasis on the result rather than the process been puttin' us off about the present? Is the future was so important, what about the present? What makes up the future? The present. So cherish everyone and anyone who spends their time with you. You might never ever get the chance again in your whole entire lifetime. The present is just so cruel. It makes up your future, and your history. =)
Cherish. Relish every single moment to the fullest extent. =)

"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives"
-Annie Dillard, poet/writer.

Dream..

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

Dream..
Surreal, irrational, fucked up in this damned city life
So real, rational triumph over exams, live and strive
I'm the sort of person who never showed no concern
Living up like I'm dead to see relations worsen
All I ever yearn is for people to ever learn
Enough's never enough, earn enough money to burn
Earn till one day you see cash on the floor and you spurn
Mid-thirties, mid-life crisis, pallid face, weak hearts churned
Retards' turn, back to cycle without havin' a dream
Paving' a scheme to fight against this throttlin' regime
Sleep, before birth, only one motion, no emotions
Dead back to where we started, get the notion?
Everything goes back to zero, so why be hero?
This disease's viral, driving all my rivals spiral
See the mass have one hobby: kissin' people's ass
But how long can they ever last? These people never last

The dream's yours to dream, pride and glory, yours to scream
Down the stream, suddenly a terrible thought bleams
Imagine, if we had one chance to fight this regime
Take it or leave it, make it or heave it, "I'm the supreme"!
Imagine we overthrow the 'god' of our lives
And we finally have the say to take the drive
Who needs the ruler? The master-mind.. A farceur?
If we ever did so, we would never let a dollar
Determine our lives.. Confusion over the stereo
Look here, living a life with a dream over the radio

I'd might as well be part of a fabric to be sewn

Never get to see the whole picture, let the truth be known

I'd be encaged in your pets' cages, my rage

Against the world, against anybody who takes my stage..

If the truth is no shame, we wouldn't be taking the blame

Till the day we die, we let our dreams keep burnin in flames..

In the game.

"Ignorance is not bliss-- it is oblivion." -Philip Wylie

The Ex-Worker's Collective (16 Nov 2005) Part 2

Do it yourself. (de)Classifieds

More important than any other resource is the raw awareness that you have the power to change the world—this is the hardest one to develop and share, and the most essential. It doesn’t help to give your endorsement to political representatives, social programs, or radical ideologies when the fundamental problem is that you don’t know your own strength.
Self-determination begins and ends with your initiatives and actions, whether you live under a totalitarian regime or the canopy of a rain forest. It must be established on a daily basis, by acting back on the world that acts upon you—whether that means calling in sick to work on a sunny day, starting a neighborhood garden with your friends, or toppling a government. You cannot make a revolution that distributes power equally except by learning firsthand how to exercise and share power—and that exercising and sharing, on any scale, is itself the ongoing, never-concluded project of revolution.

What you do today is itself the extent of that revolution, its limits and its triumph.

You can.

You can make a potato into a battery by putting a piece of copper in one side, a piece of zinc in the other, and attaching wires to each. Add more potatoes or other vegetables to the circuit for more power.

You can suspend banners from helium balloons tied to power lines, if you want to make them particularly difficult to take down.

You can create a seam sealing two sheets of plastic together by cutting them with a hot razor blade—try this for do-it-yourself lamination.

You can get play your favorite music backwards for a new listening experience by taking a cassette apart with a screwdriver and putting the tape reel in backwards; better, record it onto another tape on the third or fourth channel of a four track recorder, then listen to the other side of the second tape.

You can compile a monthly calendar of events that include free food (art openings, city council extravaganzas, etc.) and circulate it to hungry people.

You can approach restaurants and grocery stores as a representative of a charity group, asking for their leftovers. You should be able to gather enough food this way to provide for a number of people—perhaps a free grocery program for a poor neighborhood, or a weekly communal meal in a public place . . .

You can establish a community garden, with lots open for people to grow their own food, or volunteer programs for them to participate and share in the harvest. Lots of people have yards that go untended, and there’s always those abandoned lots . . .

You can put glass etching solution (hydrofluoric acid) on the windows of corporations or agencies that you think need a wake-up call, if a brick would attract too much attention; if you want to make it clear why you’re doing it, try applying the solution through a stencil expressing your message! If a brick is called for, You can dress up nice, carry it in your purse, and apply it without ever having to take it out.

You can really wreak some havoc on videotapes in noxious corporate rental stores, etc. with a powerful magnet. The same goes for computers, of course.

You can short-circuit any electric or electronic machine by introducing salt water into it. Once upon a time vandals would do this to soda vending machines, causing them to spit out free soda and change.

You can save the “postage paid by addressee” envelopes you get in junk mail to send back stuffed with more junk mail—or, better, with love letters to whomever opens them, begging them to seek a better life.

You can soak the ink off some canceled stamps with alcohol—better, cover the stamps with a thin layer of soap or water-soluble glue before mailing; the addressee can soak off the soap or glue.

You can use lemon juice or urine as invisible ink—heat up the paper, and it will appear.
You can take the clear adhesive envelopes available free at unmanned Federal Express stations everywhere and put them up on the walls of city streets, corporate elevators, gas station bathrooms, etc. with secret instructions or maps to buried treasure inside.

You can protect yourself from the effects of tear gas by covering your mouth and nose with a rag soaked in vinegar or lime juice and wearing swimming goggles; when not wearing the goggles, put them on your forehead with the inside facing out, so they won’t fog up.
By putting a weight at the bottom, You can insure that the big banner you drop from a building or freeway won’t blow in the wind.

You can make massive inflatable structures out of thin plastic sheeting that folds up to a small size convenient for smuggling into unexpected environments. Even if you couldn’t sneak a fan in, you could still spice up a street demonstration or public event by stretching one over a hot air vent on a city street—presto, a sixty foot missile silo towers over the Inaugural Parade.
You can carry a marker in your pocket and get in the pleasurable habit of altering your environment everywhere you go—by adding “capitalism:” at the top of DEAD END signs, for example, or “LIES” across the display window of corporate newspaper vending machines. . . or writing “ballot box” on trash cans during an election. You can make your own ineffaceable graffiti marker by combining 80% Rustoleum and 20% mineral spirits in a shoe polish applicator or similar device—how about a deodorant container with a dry eraser inside?

You can make those paper stickers you scam from the local copyshop more weatherproof by covering them with clear packing tape.

You can go to stores that sell house paint and get mis-mixed buckets for little to no cost. Think of all the things You can do with paint. Make woodcuts with potato stampers, or linoleum, for example—or make a stamp out of shoelace with wire through it, shaped into a word or line image.

You can knit your own clothes in the time it would take you to earn the money to buy them prefabricated, and in much more pleasant environments.

You can keep warm in winter by lining the inside of your clothes with plastic—this will work best if you place the layer of plastic right next to your skin, although it will make you sweat a lot.
If you are traveling and need water, You can open the outside spigots at most gas stations and many other buildings with a good wrench. These spigots generally have one of two kinds of handles which can be attached to them for operation; you could carry both handles with you, for surefire access to water, if you happened to find them unremoved.

You can get drinks at fast food restaurants by retrieving a cup from the trash and asking for a refill.

You can find fabric (napkins, tablecloths, etc.) for making patches, banners, etc. in the laundry bins behind restaurants.

If quitting your job leaves you with more time on your hands than you know what to do with, try baby-sitting nights for single mothers—there are thousands of them longing for a chance to go out and have a good time. If you have a circle of dependable volunteers, you could organize an alternative day care collective—there’s a real shortage of those these days.

If you have more food, shelter, time, energy, love than you need for yourself and the ones who depend on you, You can find others to share with. If you have a room empty in your house now that your daughter has gone to college, you could lend it to a homeless writer or traveling activist, for example—or if you have more sources of free bread than your team of urban hunter-gatherers can possibly take advantage of, you should see if You can get in touch with striking union workers.

You can write to companies informing them that you really enjoy their product, or that you were shocked to find you had purchased a defective item. They’ll probably send you free coupons.

You can buy an expensive electronic video camera with a liberal return policy, and shoot all your footage and download it onto a computer before the return deadline, if you want to make a movie or documentary for free. You can do the same thing with fancy musical equipment for a few days of recording, or with . . .

You can get free press passes to attend concerts and similar events simply by approaching the promoters as a representative of the media. You’ll probably get more privileged treatment than any of the paying customers. A press pass might also help you to get past security or even cross national borders in an emergency.

You can set up a fake activist webpage for the F.B.I., to keep them busy and misinformed; at high-surveillance demonstrations, You can leave unmarked boxes and bags all around town, to keep the bomb squad busy and entertained—better yet, put little letters in the bags for them, or fragments that all together spell out a message.

You can improve your chances of being picked up and treated well while hitchhiking by dressing in dark pants and a white shirt with a tie and perhaps a name tag—that is, as a young Mormon on mission! Pick up some free Mormon bibles at your nearest tabernacle for authenticity. If anyone asks serious questions, what better form of cultural terrorism than to spread a little fun misinformation? This disguise might also help you to get away with other things . . .
You can protect your home from police dogs by laying down a thin line of cayenne pepper across each doorway. The dogs will pause to sniff it on their way in, and won’t be able to smell anything else for a while.

You can make a hand warmer by filling a cloth bag with dry beans (and rice, or corn) and microwaving it. It should retain heat for a couple hours. If you get hungry, You can always cook and eat your hand warmer.

If you need to create a false identity in an emergency—for example, at a hospital, when you have no money or insurance—You can simply make up a name and give your social security number with the first five digits as they really appear but the last four changed. If you offer a distant false home address, it will take longer for them to find out you have played a trick on them.

You can give your friends tattoos with a clean safety pin and India ink. For branding, heat a shaped piece of coat-hanger with a small blowtorch.

You can make paper maché (for puppets, or uncommissioned public sculptures, or . . .) by heating three parts water and two parts corn starch until it becomes thick. Let it cool a bit, and apply it to newspaper to make it stick together.

You can make puppets for street demonstrations that double as shields for self-defense by reinforcing them—with an internal fiberglass base, for example. Cut in half, the larger-sized cylindrical traffic cones might be useful for this, and they are freely available.

You can make wheat paste by mixing three parts wheat flour and one part corn starch, boiling that in water (at proportions of two parts starch to three parts water), and cooking it down to a paste. Hurry to stick up posters everywhere with it before it dries. You can keep your wheat paste warm and wet longer in winter by carrying it around in a drink cooler. Try variations of the recipe until you find a personal favorite.

You can encourage strangers to share their brilliant ideas with you and everyone else (and make public space more interesting!), by wheatpasting fliers with wheatpaste recipes on them all around your city—along with a headline reading “call for submissions.”

You can make stencils out of cardboard or clear plastic acetate and spraypaint your own artwork and ideas everywhere. Alternately, You can apply house paint through the stencils with rollers. You could make a “handicapped” stencil and make all the parking spaces at the mall handicapped spaces (this might be easier to accomplish if you had a flatbed truck with a truck top on it and a hole cut out of the flatbed for street access from inside). You could make a stencil a hundred feet long out of a roll of thick paper, and apply it on the street in two minutes with three people—one in front, unrolling, one in the middle applying the paint roller, and one in back, rolling up.

You can take those priority mail stickers they give out at the post office, stencil your own designs on them, and put them up anywhere in instants. The post office will send more of them to you on request—but beware, misusing them is a federal offense, of course.

Speaking of spraypaint, when you see billboards that make you uncomfortable, You can reverse the effect by adding a clever phrase or picture of your own. If You can’t reach them, You can attach a spraypaint can to the end of a long stick and operate it by means of a lever and pulley, or put paint in a long-distance water gun (a “super soaker”) and get your point across more simply. Try between three and five in the morning—the floodlights are often off then.

To apply paint from a distance, You can also fill up light bulbs or Christmas tree ornaments with it, and throw it. On an entirely different topic—has it occurred to you that the Achilles’ heel of riot gear is that the wearers need to be able to see out?

You can remove advertisements (from the subway, the bus, the bus stop . . .) and replace them after adjusting them in subtle ways. You can do this with the labels on food products in the grocery store. For a more advanced project, try this with the name plates on businessmen’s desks or professors’ doors, or the commemorative plaques at historic sites. For post-graduate work, try kidnapping time capsules from corporate skyscrapers or universities and replacing the contents with information about what it was really like way back when.

You can make projection devices to project messages or images onto the sides of big buildings, to get a point across without actually touching them. A smaller scale, subtler application of a similar concept would be to remove the “WALK/DON’T WALK” screens from crosswalk signs and replace them with your own message screens.

You can set up short-range pirate radio stations by key intersections, broadcasting site-specific messages on popular frequencies around the clock, without attracting the attention a citywide pirate radio station would.

In street warfare, it might be useful to know that You can easily set the dumpsters outside of bars on fire—the bottles and cans inside all have the residue of alcohol on them, after all. Just douse the inside with a bottle of whisky or similar substance, push a couple of them where they need to be, and throw in a smoke bomb for ignition.

You can still get almost all the books you need at the library, especially if you ask them to order the ones they’re missing. Many libraries also have free video borrowing, for movies. If You can’t use the internet to get free recordings of your favorite songs, go to a local college radio station; act like you work there, and tape whatever records you want. For free cassettes, write to Christian evangelical groups asking for listening material.

If you are a high school student in the United States, chances are You can get your school to pay for you to take college classes, if the classes aren’t available there.

You can set up your own library, with all the books and magazines and records and videos and clothes you and your friends already have available for everyone, so no one has to buy anything. Whenever a band comes to your town to play, have a part of the door money go to buying a copy of their record for the community to share.

You can find food, flowers, furniture, clothes, building supplies, and more precious things left out on the street in front of houses in the suburbs, or in dumpsters. You might have more luck finding building supplies at construction sites at night, though—or just wheeling them out the back door of a corporate “home repair” chain on a cart. You might be able to return some of the items you rescue—such as food that has passed the expiration date—for money or store credit. For a more thorough approach, track down local distributors—a juice distributor will probably throw out whole dumpsters of good juice before the expiration date, because they cannot be shipped to stores in time.

You can go to college campuses at the end of the semester and collect incredible amounts of discarded food, clothes, and furnishings—and all the bicycles that have been abandoned to rust on the bike racks, if you have a good set of wire cutters. You could start a “free bikes for kids” program with these. If you need more, dress up and go to the local police station—chances are they’ve already collected scores of forgotten bikes the same way you did.

You can establish a “yellow bike” program for your town: get a bunch of cheap bicycles, paint them all an ugly yellow color, and leave them around town at specified drop off points so people can ride them from one point to another. Voila! Public transportation that is both free and autonomous.

If You can get a password from a student, you should be able to use the computers at the local university for everything from email to printing out fliers. If You can borrow a student’s meal plan card, You can go into a college cafeteria with a backpack and come out with enough food to feed yourself and some companions for a few days.

You can get a job working for a company you don’t respect that has a resource you need (photocopies, food, information, art supplies . . .) and hold it as long as it takes to smuggle out what you want. A circle of friends could do this together, each supplying a different resource.
You can get as many credit cards as possible, run them all up to their limits purchasing useful materials, and then declare bankruptcy. If you wanted to, you could write them all letters announcing that you were acting to avenge all the families whose lives have been ruined by debt—though this might get you in trouble. Or, better: get together a circle of people who are committed to supporting each other; each year one will run up massive debts paying for the needs of the group, and then declare bankruptcy. There should be enough people in the group to cover the years until the bankruptcy period of a participant is over and the process can be repeated.

You can put on public puppet shows for children that get important information across to their parents as well. You might be able to arrange to give educational presentations at local schools, too. If you know students involved in a student group on a college campus, they can probably arrange a speaking engagement for you that would pay a significant amount of student funds—which could go to the worthwhile cause of your choice.

You can make a piñata in the form of a politician or monstrosity (such as the “free market,” the “loyal officer,” etc.) and have a piñata party at which, when sufficiently beaten, the piñata spills out party favors such as candies, little books, or invitations to the next special event. Try doing this in a public place during times of unrest.

You can make quite an impressive, arresting noise by shaking a large piece of sheet metal.

These should be easy to find unattended at construction sites.

You can blow fire by holding a torch (an old 100% cotton t-shirt wrapped around a bent coat hanger) and spitting a cloud of paraffin lamp oil through it. Be sure not to swallow it, and have both water on hand to wash out your mouth and a towel to keep your face dry so you won’t blow yourself up.

You can use the personal ads at the back of the local newspaper for a novel recruiting tactic: “Capitalism sucking the life out of you? BiWF, 27, non-monogamous, seeks lovers of life and liberty to form a revolutionary organization. Only those serious about playing need apply.”
You can spice up a first date by resolving to get in trouble with the authorities for something dreadfully embarrassing by the end of it. Don’t tell your date, of course.

If you have to work, You can organize a union with your fellow employees to gain a little leverage over your workplace. Once you pull off a sudden strike, or get support from a larger union organization, the management will be forced to take you seriously.

You can organize rent strikes to make your landlord take care of the problems with your plumbing, heat, electricity—but it would be far wiser to get together a circle of trustworthy people to invest in a communal living space together. In the city, you could use the space as a meeting place or center for the performing arts; in the countryside, you could grow enough vegetables to feed a lot of people. You can organize exchange programs with housing cooperatives in other cities, so You can move around if you like without having to rent from strangers.

You can give your friends massages on a regular basis. That can help everyone stay relaxed and feel close.

If your lover is a woman, You can find her g-spot by putting your fingers inside of her with your palm facing up and moving them in a beckoning motion exerting light pressure towards her belly. If he is a man, try the same thing a few inches further back!
You can practice a variety of daily rituals to get in touch with and establish power over your fears: try being naked with your friends and then strangers, being intimate with people of the sex opposite the one you are used to touching, walking alone down familiar and then unfamiliar streets blindfolded, starting frank conversations with strangers, climbing ladders on water towers—nothing can multiply your capabilities like confronting the limitations you have set for yourself.

You can take advantage of a thousand different little attempts people have already made to establish community—neighborhood associations, punk rock scenes, bowling leagues, Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, church choirs, high school clubs, student organizations, knitting circles, hobby groups—as starting points for working towards larger, more radical, durable, ambitious communities.

You can travel across the globe, hiking or skateboarding or hopping trains or driving cars for cross-country delivery services or working as the saxophonist on a cruise ship, and everywhere you go you will find people looking for holes in the fabric of this so-called reality. Together, You can cut these holes—by masterminding unexpected street festivals, carrying out occupations and permanent rent strikes, playing music that blows the roof off the world, seizing chances to leap up and shout out truths no one dares to express, charging off into the unknown on wild, unheard-of adventures . . .

You can get together with a handful of friends and discover that you have the power to create history. Everything depends on this.

You can write to this address, sending a donation for postage if possible, to get more reading material—or more copies of this publication to give to your friends, slip into newspapers in vending machines, leave in public bathrooms, put on the magazine rack at the gas station where you work, read over the air during your radio show, plagiarize and modify to your own needs:

Spencer Kuzara

241 N. Main St.

Sheridan, WY 82801

U.S.A.

(Copied from http://exworker.blogspot.com)

The Ex-Worker's Collective (16 Nov 2005)

Divided And Conquered

Over a century ago, a famous writer quipped that the industrial worker was "a mere appendage of flesh on a machine of iron." Today, that description can be applied across the board: each of us is no more than an appendage of flesh on the vast machine that is our society, for our lives and communities are atomized into isolated sectors. If we want to change the whole of life, we must first become whole again.

Separation: the Disintegration of the Self

Modern man's activity is compartmentalized: it is divided and subdivided into separate components which can only interfere with each other. He experiences life as an ongoing conflict between achievement, romance, social responsibility, fitness, relaxation, adventure, and so on, because all these pursuits seem to be mutually exclusive. He would like to spend more time with his wife, but if he doesn't stay at the office another hour he won't be able to advance his career, and then he has to go to the gym to firm up his belly and ward off poor health. . . and there's that damn vacation at the beach to plan for, and world news to catch up on, before he even gets to think about being romantic with her. Perhaps he buys that Mozart CD that the advertisements said would relieve stress and help focus his concentration skills—hoping some new medication will serve to fend off the symptoms of a life in which he never does anything for its own sake! Perhaps he would like to get involved with some sort of volunteer social work, but doesn't know where he would fit it into his schedule; he has a hard enough time just taking the time out to watch his favorite sitcom, and even that doesn't provide him with much relief from his busy life. Meaning, of course, is absent everywhere when life is disjointed; without unity of self in his pursuits, the modern man can find no lasting satisfaction in any one of them.

Compare this with the integrated, holistic life of the "savage" or young adventurer. For her, there is no distinction between working and playing, between spending time with her friends and lovers, taking care of her practical needs, and seeking pleasure. She moves through the world, finding sustenance and getting exercise from the same activities, using her creativity with her friends to weave a daily life that is both challenging and familiar, at once adventure, livelihood, and religious ceremony.

Perhaps you've experienced this kind of lifestyle before, when you were doing something that incorporated every aspect of your being into a perfect equilibrium. We all need to find ways to integrate our lives, so that we will not always be trying to make impossible choices between equally necessary pieces of ourselves. . . and if we want to make this world a better place, we have to find ways of living that are revolutionary in their very nature; for politics, activism, or social responsibility as a separate domain of life, as a hobby or part-time operation, can never outweigh the effects of the rest of life.

Example:My friend Mark practices Yoga to focus and relax himself. He is also an artist and musician, who often travels around the country with his work. Mark realized one day that when he neglects his exercises on the road, he still feels focused and relaxed in ways that he simply couldn't at home without Yoga. He concluded that the voyage itself must be a kind of Yoga, perhaps the same kind of Yoga referred to by Ken Kesey in his eulogy for Neil Cassady:
"His life was the yoga of a man driven to the cliff-edge by the grassfire of an entire nation's burning material madness. Rather than be consumed by this he jumped, choosing to sort things out in the fast-flying but smog-free moments of a life with no retreat. In this commitment he placed himself irrevocably beyond category."

Specialization: the Sub-Division of Labor

Just as our individual lives are fragmented by compartmentalization, our society is fragmented by ever-increasing specialization. Every sphere of life is relegated to the care of an elite core of specialists, who administer it without consulting the rest of us. Every profession is divided and subdivided: from scientist to chemist, from chemist to biochemist, from biochemist to pharmaceutical neurobiologist until no one outside a handful of experts can understand what is going on. At that point, the division of knowledge itself becomes authoritarian, for it grants small groups of people vast powers over others who cannot even fathom what those powers are.
Becoming a specialist is a self-selecting process: only those willing to concentrate on learning one subject to the exclusion of all else can excel at it. Thus the engineers and computer programmers with the greatest skills are willing to work for the government building weapons of mass destruction and cracking the codes of "subversive" groups, for they have never taken the time to reflect on what the effects of their efforts might be. They simply do what they have been taught to do, for whoever provides the chance to do it.

Each expert in this system of specialization is able to do his job well, in a vacuum, but unable to see the larger whole. Without an analysis of the part he plays in society, he sees it as an external force, acting on him without his participation. And the people who form the various parts of the machine are unable to relate to each other to take action together when they want to change something about the world they are making, separated as they are spatially and socially and psychologically into their individual spheres; in fact, each tends to conceive of problems in terms of its needs versus those of the other components of the machine: the library would get the funding it needed if only it wasn't going to the linguistics department, etc.

Specialization also discourages the rest of us from being well-rounded and understanding the workings of our society. Painting is left up to artists, the maintenance of our cars to automechanics, social change to professional politicians or amateur activists. The more complicated technologies become, and the more alienating the terminology used by those who work with them, the fewer of us are able to exercise any control over our environments: "Call the repair man," we chant, waiting in intimidated ignorance and powerlessness. Similarly, all of us but the recognized "artists" miss out on the joys of being creative in the aesthetic world. The true value of a painting cannot be captured by purchasing it in a gallery and hanging it on the wall; it lies in the moment when the painting is conceived, when the artist is comparing sketches with her comrades late one night, arguing about narrative and form, and has a sudden, exhilarating insight. This is something we must all take part in, each with our unique talents. The supposed divinity of artists, and the expert credentials of the art critics who deify them, just like the genius of scientists and the arcane knowledge of locksmiths, have fooled us into denying ourselves this irreplaceable pleasure.

The role of the political activist as authority and expert paralyzes the rest of humanity in correspondingly disastrous ways. Saddest and most absurd of all is the way so many political activists unconsciously act to alienate others, the very others with whom they hope in theory to find common cause. Conditioned to believe that they need to be superior to others to have value of their own, and believing in the scarcity economy of self which demands that they stake out their identity in contrast to the identities of those around them, today's insecure activists mistakenly presume that they somehow benefit from showing off how much more knowledgeable, more committed, and more ethical they are than everyone else.

Specialization within political circles is equally crippling. Oblivious to each other's efforts and the strength they could wield as an alliance, single-issue activists agitate about their chosen topics in parallel ghettos; marginalized into a thousand individual campaigns, they exhaust themselves trying to cure the symptoms of the dominant system, rather than developing a resistance that could undermine the world order that is ultimately responsible.
When being active is no longer an off-putting specialty, and partisans of different struggles are able to find common cause, the world will finally change.

End Segregation! Integrate our lives!

Somewhere across the world there is an underground circus or punk rock band on tour as you read this. Unbeknownst to themselves and others, they carry with them the seeds of a new and yet ancient social structure, which could totally transform the ways all of us live and interact. Within the group, responsibilities are shared and valued equally, and whenever someone wants a break from doing something or is curious to learn about something else, people switch roles. No one member's participation is less important than anyone else's, whatever their individual strengths may be, for the cooperation and contentment of each is crucial to the functioning of the group. Each member's daily activities satisfy her various desires: she feels at home with her friends while she travels through new environments, she makes art that simultaneously entertains and educates others, she gets exercise and learns new things repairing the van, she has adventures collecting food and other supplies through an urban hunting and gathering that does not conflict with her anti-consumerist ethics. Best of all, she no longer has to distinguish between her own needs and those of the people around her, which eliminates the greater part of the stress of human interaction. Together all the participants function as an extended family, and the positive atmosphere is so strong that over time they are able to lose some members and gain others without losing any momentum.

Yes, we'd have to downsize and restructure our whole civilization to follow the lead this merry little band offers, but for the past few centuries we've been struggling to deal with the difficulties of not living in such communities—and we haven't had much success. If we're going to struggle anyway, it might as well be towards a utopia in which our lives encompass can everything the cosmos has to offer.

(Copied from http://exworker.blogspot.com)

The Ex-Worker's Collective (17 Nov 2005)

The Unabomber:
A Hero For Our Time
Pop quiz: what is it called when one of the finest minds of a generation picks a few individuals who are personally involved in the destruction of the environment (a timber-industry lobbyist) or of the attention span and reasoning ability of tens of thousands of Americans (an advertising executive), and kills or maims them in the pursuit of finding a voice for his concerns about social issues... concerns that otherwise would be heard by very few? Clearly, it is murder.

And what is it called when a nation of overweight barbers and underpaid clerks, of lazy unemployed middle class intellectuals and talk-show-educated housewives, of cowardly fast-food-chin managers and racist sorority girls, conspires to execute this murderer in the name of protecting the glorious status quo from his obviously deranged "mad bombings"?

The death penalty. And rightly applied, too, in defense of the right of forest clear-cutters and professional liars to continue bending our world to their vision without the danger of being molested by those who prefer redwood forests to Quik-Marts and sonnets to detergent slogans.
Seriously, and rhetoric aside, what is the difference between the two situations? In one case, a single person evaluates his situation and decides upon a course of action he feels is right. In the other case, millions of people, who are not very used to making up their minds by themselves, feel strong enough all together to strike out blindly against an individual who does not remain within their boundaries of acceptable behavior.

Now, our gentle and moderate reader would no doubt like to object that it is not fear of the free-standing individual that prompts the outcry against this terrorist, but moral indignation—for he has taken "innocent" life in his quest to have his ideas heard, and that is wrong in every situation.

But this nation of petty imbeciles is not regularly outraged about the taking of innocent life: as long as it fits within the parameters of the status quo, they don't care at all.
How many more people than the Unabomber have tobacco companies maimed and killed, by using advertising to addict them at a very young and uninformed age to an extremely harmful drug? How about the companies that advertise and sell cheap liquor in impoverished neighborhoods filled with alcoholics? How many citizens of third world nations have suffered and died at the hands of governments supported by such corporations as Pepsi Co., or even by the U.S. government itself? And how much animal life is destroyed thoughtlessly every year, every day in death camp factory farms... or in ecological destruction brought about by such companies as Exxon (our reader will remember the Valdez) or McDonalds (one of the better known destroyers of the rainforest)? No one is particularly concerned about these abuses of "innocent" life.

And indeed, it is harder to be, for they are institutionalized within the social and economic system... "normal." Besides, it is hard to figure out who exactly is responsible for them, for they are the results of the workings of complicated bureaucracies.
On the other hand, when one individual attempts to make his criticism of these destructive systems heard by the only really effective means, it is easy to pick him out and string him up. And our hypocritical outrage about his wrongdoings compared those of our own social institutions shows that it is his ability to act upon his own conclusions that truly shocks and frightens us most of all.

Our fear of the Unabomber as a freely acting individual shows in the attempts our media has made to demonize him. Details of his life, such as his academic achievements and his ability to live a Thoreauan self-sufficient existence, that would normally occasion praise, are now used to demonstrate that he is a maladjusted freak. Random and unimportant details of his life, similar to details of any of our lives, such as failed love affairs and childhood illnesses, are used to explain his "insane behavior." In speaking thus, the press suggests that there is no question at all that his actions were the result of insanity, pulling away in terror from the very thought that he might be just as rational as they. Newspapers print the most arbitrary and disconnected excerpts of his manifesto that they can combine, and they describe the manifesto as being random and disconnected—they even describe it as "ramblings" with a straight face, despite the well-known short attention span of today's media.

But it is not necessary that we accept the media's typical over-simplification of the case. The Unabomber's manifesto has, as a result of his efforts, been published and widely distributed. We can all read it for ourselves, not just in disconnected excerpts, but in its entirety, and decide for ourselves what we think of his ideas.

Do not be frightened by the Unabomber's willingness to stand out from the crowds and take whatever actions he believes are necessary to achieve his goals. In a civilization so stricken with mindless submission to social norms and irrational rules his example should be refreshing rather than horrifying; for his worst crimes are no worse than ours, in being citizens of this nation... and his greatest deeds as a dedicated and intelligent individual far outshine those of most of our heroes, who are for the most part basketball players and cookie-cutter pop musicians anyway.
At least, given the chance as we are, we should read his manifesto and come to our own conclusions, rather than allowing the press and popular opinion/paranoia to decide for us.

(Copied from http://exworker.blogspot.com)

Frustration..

Feel damn frustrated now.. Just wrote finish a piece that I think was quite nice.. Then I had to accidentally click on the cross on the window.. And I went on to click on 'Don't Save'! Lolx.. Damn frustrated.. Like I wasted my 1 hour for nothing.. Haix..

Anyway I'm damn lazy to rewrite it.. But I just happened to come across some essays in my file that I haven't read for quite some time.. Felt it's quite well-written so I felt I should post them online for anyone to read. =)

The following posts will be extracted from http://exworker.blogspot.com.
It's some lazy blogger who hasn't blogged for damn long..
But personally I find his previous posts inspiring. =)
A food for thought. =)

P.S. His posts are damn long I know! =P
But take ur time to read if you're interested.. This guy's intellectual is.. Wow.

Gettin' Back.. What was rightfully ours.

Post-prelims.

Do qualifications mean that much?
Maybe it can get us a job in the future.
But hey,
I don't see how these information's has got any relevance to the world we're living in, neither can I see how all these load of information's gonna help us in our lives in the future. Like hey, we can live our lives normally without knowing how to find the angles in a triangle or a circle.

Have you ever thought like why are we doing all these shit in this system?
If we all continue to do things averagely, and if we continue to do what others want us to do, we're never going far. It's like we're being used. Literally being USED.

So what do we do with the computers that are outdated? What do we do with all the worksheets you have completed in your course of education? What about the countless number of handphones that you no longer find it fashionable? Think about all the materialistic possesions that ever came in your way. What did we do with them when we no longer need them anymore?
We throw them away man.
We throw them away..
Like they never existed.

So is the establishment gonna just play our lives?
Then throw us away when they're done with us?
All the funds set aside for all the senior citizens.. You think they're real?
They're just there to let this new generation feel that they're not making use of us.
Let us consider this.
The establishment pockets some money through the taxes ripped off the working class.
They pump it into the bank accounts of the old.
And there are two possible outcomes to where the money goes.

EITHER the old people spend it away, and the money goes to the working class, and back it goes back to the goverment in this so-called 'MONEY CYLE'.

OR the old people are so thrifty, they just refuse to spend their money. They eventually die. Now, the money goes to their offsprings through the will they've written, or the money goes back to the 'kings' who will pump the money back into the industries.

See, everything is just a cycle.
A motherfuckin' cycle.

I'm not trying to focus everything on money.
'Cause money is just some virtual thing that makes a man act funny.
Neither am I saying that money is not important though.
Bob Dylan said:
"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do."

and Dorthy Parker said:

"If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."

Now look, we have two choices in our lives.

1) We do nothin' about this, and we end up being entwined in this endless vicious cycle, or a vortex like I'd prefer to call it, and waste our lives away like we never lived before.

Nobody's gonna remember nobody.

2) We break free from this system, live our life like we want it to. Live your lives to your fullest extent, and let everybody know the truth.. That's the reason why people spread the words of truth.. But why is it that some people just don't get it?

No one has any right to control our lives, nobody has the right to stop us from doing what we like. Nobody should take away our freedom..

So take back what's rightfully yours, and not anything more..

The sad thing about this is, nobody ever listens..

Everything bears a consequence.

Think about it.

Now, I solemnly stand by every statement I ever stated..

On the surface..

Welcome.. To this dangerous safe city.. Not to be named.. To tell you the story how the vulnerable minds of its people have been brainwashed and contaminated.. And how they actually use the money they seep from the society.. This establishment that's actually allowed to con our money legally..

It's been a while since we've sat down to think about it,
You've been through a mile, now come down and have a treat
This shit seems attractive, appealing, appalling isn't it
Baits to these fish, one by one, we con and feed it, then we eat it

Or keep them safe in aquariums, sold like meat, transmitted

They are meat- and what's worse is they can't stand on their feet

So they feed off the feeder; it seems so safe to swallow and eat

Be self-reliant - that's what they say, so they ask us to pay

For our whole lives we've been asked to work every single day

This is how they treat us, and ask us to shut our fucking mouth

Improvements? Yea we'll improve, but keep comments to yourself

Democracy they call it, earn respect by proving yourself

Meritocracy they call it, yearn protection, well FUCK THEMSELVES

They used to ban protection fees didn't they? Underground at bay

They banned caches, took all your income catches, and bribed to sway

The voters, and it seemed to them this society's democractic

It's a propriety that's erratic, notoriety that's pragmatic

So they collected taxes that was supposed to be for the good of the nation

And distributed food in rations, 'hey what year is this!?'
In those days when history was present, of course you would miss
Those disgraceful acts, done behind your back, secret attacks
The genocides of blacks, coincides with the sacred tracks,
It's funny, we have the same lifespan, but they lived more than us
Not in terms of how long they live, but how much shit they've been through
Never been to school, that's the trait, they weren't educated,
But they've seen, witnessed, listened to true stories of desecration
Of their pride, culture, history, the right they had the right to have
They were bereth of hope, but at least now they all know the truth
Maybe we all haven't been through shit, that's why you
Claim you live shitty lives, but to them, your stories ain't new
'God damn my life's original!' , truth is, that's a late debut
So you're pitying yourself while they're mocking at you fools
I admit, I've never been through shit in my life, growing up pampered
I was a pampered boy, dependent and my life was unhampered
I lived off my parents and the government, never endangered
Never seen an eclipse, 'what's the dark side of the world?'
Until age fourteen, lived out of this mentality as a teen
Met this man by the name kinetik, gave me a 'stillmatic'
And that technique speaks the truth, and while he was still at it
Introduced me those shady antiques, styles that were unique
To show me, 'hey, we're all safe on the surface!'
Face it, you guys disgrace, y'all are just off the pace off the race,
Feedin your blood as nutrients to the root of all evil,
When they're not even facing an upheaval, maybe you should pop some pill
I'm sure you will, if the establishment tells you to, you'd get thrilled
But what if I tell you that's poison, even worse than poisonous lead
Like what're you gonna do, just stone there, prepare to be fed
It's just sad, see kids take two-fifth of their lives to be 'grad's
And be mad, when they becomin' mums and dads, you forsee that
But you dun say no shit, the average people keep words to themselves
Because we're all scared to lose our freedom, our assets, our wealth
So they think they can stealth right there, and take on this world themselves
These intellectuals think the same, but they don't assert themselves
Wisdom and maturity comes with age, now let me tell you this
That's BULLSHIT! If you just pretend you know no shit about this
So I devout this, let's spout the truth in the form of hip-hop
'Cause we all know the truth, but we're no eager to equip these mobs
With what they deem as the 'matrix', but they know these words transfix
These problems' a must-fix, now let's give these corrupts the deep six

Double-law regime, for now talk is cheap, so is cheap the talk..

Sometimes I feel like a dog bein' walked, see there's this lock
That I wanna unlock, for this time I wanna be the jock
I wanna getta hold of this job, not another share in the stocks
Or a bird in the flocks, just the man everyone listens when he talks
Be shocked, when you see this man does no crock, R-I-P. Steve,
We know you gave it a mighty heave, now the audiences grieve,
Wishing you were back doing your documentaries, your obituary
Was something big here in your sequel, there, that's why woe betides
See that's why when i see everyone commiting suicide, worldwide
I sit back and watch these kids behave and witness how they die
And when they die, I see tears of people who actually pay the price
So everyone just tries and tries, but they can't reach out for the prize
Then they decide to play the game of chance, but no time suffice
And no one's surprised, coz' we all know what's holding us back
Off the surface they're the true hijackers, our houses they ransack,
Real brainers, it's our brains they rack, 'heck these political hacks'
Stop your sissy acts, signing these illusionary ingrained pacts
Feigning, make BELIEVE what we perceive, kids fail to comprehend
Pain, under this reign we abstain, now adrenaline rushes veins
Of the hated, for fear that our brain may one day maturate
But we live on to stand by every statement we ever stated
It's an understatement, to say we can't make our payment because
We work, live and breathe low-profilely, never to be the claimant
Never to be the famed one, to be the same homosapiens
Only to be the tamed ones, lame, let us be the ones aimed-
-At, let us be the fuel, you be the flame, and take our credit

History of mankind.. Read it, so maybe, effort, you can discredit
But I would never allow this to be gone undetected
And I would never allow defectants go unrejected
Respected, life.. Don't trust me to repeat like you expected
Fucking truth and lies, myths and legends, safe and protected
Drugging proofs and evidences, civilians strafed during the war
Millions of people wounded, dying from shots of the 'fo-fo'
Now it's still no different, deep into the society we explore
See people hitting rock-bottom, jobless, part-time jobs in stores
This ain't no movie.. But why does this world misunderstand me
Trapped in this system like a vortex, rage against.. Nobody..
It's just me.. A fight against myself, just a plan to fight the law
I'm not doing so just to be an outlaw, but to find the flaw
In the system we're living in.. To ply open this surface
That's superficial, so that we can implant one that's artificial

'Cause man.. I believe in destroying this system, that's safe on the surface.. If we can see the subtext, beyond what we see on the appearance of all things..

ThIs BiG iLlUsIoN (Finalised)

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."
Corinthians 13:4-8

Love. What is love? Love is an illusion I should forget
A shouldn't-have-taken step, something I regret, it's sad
'Cause at first it drove me crazily mad, heart at combat
But that's a past thing, thought love was lastin', lustin', blastin'
With all the 'I love you' a must thing, yea now I see love rustin'
Like vanishing sun rays at dusk, wishin' I could find someone
To trust, come to think of it, those silent nights I spent, it sucks
Alone in the dark, wishin you were there to be my spark
Now I'm strollin' in the park, just me alone, in the dark
Thinking how love fell apart, brink of hurting my heart
Remember that piece of art you drew? That was the best I've seen
I'm sorry I didn't go through what you went through as a teen
But you could and should have told me what was wrong.. Was it me?
Is it true that I screwed it? Knew it, I was just busy
Didn't knew you got to become so petty, but you see
I thought we shared something common, thought you understood me
Love's patient, that's nonsense.. That's not how the love concept should be
Except sometimes we get on a bicker or something like that
Quarrelin', just because you give a snicker or something like that
After that we get it resolved 'cause love revolved around this
But then you got him in and the situation evolved abound this
Surround me, a couple judged amiss, with him double 'bliss'
With me in a midst of trouble, I was humbled, fumbled
Then one night, that daunting ring, tellin me now I have to subsist
As the past flings, now everyday I wait on the waiting list

Awaiting christmas, revealin in advance my wishin list

Wishing one day you'd be mine, until that day I'll be fine

I hope one day, you'll feel remorse over your decision

That caused our division, failing to vision life without me

Shit, I'm not in a position to have you here with me

To share with you those once happy dispositions of mine

But thanks to you, you've fuckin changed my definition of time

By just crossin' over that line; anticipate romance?

Kiss my ass you can, I'll kick his ass with this can

Fakin' idiots trying to be the man, yea he can be your man

Till I kick some sense, use COMMON SENSE to infuse this defence

I'll be on the OFFENSE when I foil and defuse his pretense

With hatred so immense, with jealousy incensin', I'll be dispensin'

Cling, Clash, Blast, Bling, Blink! Sting, Flash, Rest your eyes now, darn you pink things!

Harm you stink things who try to confuse things, It's amusin'

'Cause you say love does wonders, yet it tears hearts asunder?

One blunder and it brings you ten feet under, dangerous girl

Beautiful on the outside, evil on the inside, strangerous world

Your weapon, charm; your mission, get out there and do mental harm

You're armed with charm, I'm armed with my weapons in the form of words

To blurt, out to save these third worlds, to rescue this world of nerds

Religionists psychoing me to convert, little known they're berserk

With quotes exalting love, responsibilities he can smirk,

Give me ten million lies, I'll exploit them ten million times, jerks!

Justify your lies with even more lies, defy my orders,

Deny that accuse, guilty, try hiding that blink of an eye

Get rich or die tryin', I've been waiting for my entire life

I'll perservere, but I hope I won't have to end my career

I won't shed another tear, until the day I retire..

I've repeated this so many times, even I find it tirin'..

WARNING: this big illusion that's got earthlings admirin'..

人總是傻到失去才想珍惜..

I opened my eyes, only to see darkness in my eyes..
Fear slowly engulfs me.. Like a stab straight into my thighs
Pain.. I couldn't see a thing.. Blink! Now let me see something!!
But all I could see was the night.. Whatever happened to my sight?
Stupid questions flowed into the back of my brain.. Am I insane?
I tried to stand up.. I'm just blind am I not? But why am I lame?
On the bed, paralyzed, now all I could do was visualise
My world.. Lonely and Empty.. Now I tried to fantasize..

I was once criticised for crucifying the handicapped..
Zap!!! Now I'm one of them.. It's hard to even take a nap
Because that's when nightmares haunt me, the illusion that I see
So daunting, then it collapses to become reality..
My family, my friends vanish in thin air.. There.. Memories..
It's sad to see, that you can't see, and everything is radio
It's sad to be me, now that I can't see, images on stereo
Frequency, am I supposed to detect? Mirror.. Please reflect!

The silence in the night drowns me, alone, loneliness kills
When I pick up the receiver to call, no reply still
All alone, quiet, then my dying brain cells went on a riot
Vulnerable, anyone can deceive, who shall I believe?
I was naive, love from the world was what I perceived
I was relieved to have my choices sieved, now I'm grieving
They say my only disadvantage's anger mismanage
Broke out in cold sweat, I was blind-folded standing onstage..

The world was my only stage, "LET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE!"
As aging hits like raging blitz, degeneration-engage!
Shh.. Silence spoke in sentences... "Shit! My body can't take this stroke!"*
God's toying with you, life's playing with you, can't take this joke?
Emotionless, I was instantaneously motion-less
Momentarily speechless, wanted to cry, but screech-less
We had what we were given, we thought we would be forgiven
But we forget we're even, till the day we're driven to heaven..

"Whatever our individual troubles and challenges may be, it’s important to pause every now and then to appreciate all that we have, on every level"..

'Cause you never know when you'll lose all that you have..Treasure.Witnessing stupid things that happened just right in front of me during my adscolent years has got me to realise that you don't always get what you deserve to get, and sometimes, you get what you don't deserve to get.. 'Cause life is unfair.

Ever thought of being blind for just a day? I've lived with a blind, and I know how tough life is without functioning eyes.. Not only is she sickly, she can't get to live with even her own daughter.. Her dearest daughter has migrated overseas.. She thinks her daughter was happily married.. That's why she's happy for her.. She thinks her biggest achievement was to allow her dearest daughter total freedom in whatever she chose in life, in hope that she can live the way she wants.. And be happy.. But her daughter often quarrels with her husband, to a point she once told me that she had divorce in mind.. But decided to hang on for her children..

The blind's biggest joy was her daughter's 'joy'. Now imagine how she'd react if she discovers that her daughter regrets migrating.. And she wants to go back to live with her sickly mother, but she can't. Now we all know how fair life is, but maybe, that's what makes life an obstacle, a challenge.. You can't predict when's your last night, your last 'goodbye' to your family, your friends, to simple things like your eyes. But what we can do to make life an enriching one, is treasure.

To this day, I mourn..

Unusual dreams haunt you when you think you've forgotten about them.

I seldom dream, but when I do, it's surprising that I can actually remember what I have dreamt.

But to you up there, there's something that I wished I had the chance to tell you, but I didnt.

In primary school, I always hated Science, always scoring just average for my tests and exams...
Not that I really care about academics now, but I felt that if there was someone who could really change the mindset of students, it was you.

6F never really kicked off to working hard for PSLE.
Cause everyone hated studies.

Then you came in, and changed the whole situation.

Among all the teachers I have met, none of them gave a damn about their students...

But you were different, not like those teachers who circumvent,
Like those angels from heaven you represent, your loss we lament
For justice you made a stand, for your rights you would defend for it,
Fight for it, contrite for any motherfucker who dares to quit
Of the slackers you persuaded to make a flit.. It was lives you lit
None in the class was left behind, none of our pranks did you mind,
It's crazy shit that we were confined, it's lazy kids you refined
You got the class to unite, now we divide, pain and memories subside...

Remember you got us to stand side-by-side, like men we held on tight
And when you tripped and fell, just when you were doing a show-and-tell
The class laughed, you got on your feet, went back to your seat
As tears rolled down your cheek, thinking how cheap we are, "Bizarre!"
You wonder where these kids would end up after graduation,
House estates agents, another cleaner cleaning up the gents?
Maybe another bankrupt who's just keen to earn a few cents?
NONSENSE! Potential is what you see, "just locks missing the key"

Came in, inject some sense, words that weren't nice, put us on the device
"God, give 'em some advice!" Message sender.. You.. In front of our eyes
Like waves that surge, like litters up the shore you purge, Strive, I URGE!
Push on you must, never give up even if you're one of the last,
Even if you're off your task, live with no mask, live with no regret
Got that? Now after the big days, what you sow is what you get
Finally.. The big days were over, and the 'fever' deteriorates
Leave the school with pride, the spirit, and always remember what I said..

When we came back to get our results, fear occult, then tears of joy
None more warmer than yours, student-teachers no more, 'fly away boys'!
Freedom.. From that fucking school that used us as tools, but not you
Stayed in contact, connection.. Then kids back in action, forming factions
Back to the 'nest' to visit those who moulded me, all left, so deft!
But you? Always there to help chicks preparing for their biggest fight - flight
A touching moment, you had my greatest respect, perfect I suspect?
Strong and healthy, unexpectedly, devil sets in stealthly..

Why? Why the unfair ruling of god? My lord, see clearly!
This woman is the greatest person ever, she should be loved dearly!
As the lungs expand and contract, the number of cells subtracts..
Inconspicuous, lookin' ready to bring this batch of chicks to flight,
By then she was still young in her early 30s.. The phone had rung..
Time to go, my lady, your lungs can't support, end of span.. Now report!
The strong evilish devils were dead wrong my lord! Undeserved!
A sin.. Did she commit? If so, I'll serve any sentence for it!!!

And that night, I woke up shivering in agony.. Internal struggle.. 'Cause I never had the chance to say goodbye to you.. 'Goodbye'.. Is really very difficult to word.. Especially when you just left us, without prior notice, that you were heading for the stairway to heaven..

Did you know something? I once saw a woman at Katong Shopping Centre, just a couple of months before Harng-Yi told me you left all of us.. There was this woman with her old mother, and she very much resembled you.. But then hesitancy sets in.. She's too skinny for you. .Too pale too.. So I decided to take it that it was just another person on this god-damn earth who looks like another person I know. But 2 months later when Harng-Yi rang me up to inform me of the bad news, then I realised that the woman was not someone else..















It was you.


To you up there, I'd just want you to know:
Even though it's been 2 years since you've left..
The impact you have made before your candle glowed for the last second, is phenomenal..
As we all grow up, we lose our innocence, and our dedication to our goals..
But I'm pretty sure being a teacher was your goal in your life. And now, being more mature than I was, I'd like to say that you really kept your innocence and your dedication, and stretched your helping hands to a lot of us..

Then, as I wanted to complete my sentence, there was this huge balloon that blew up in front my eyes. It was labelled 'HOPE'.
And I woke up.

How idiotic is that?

But I still recall what I wanted to say to you before the connection from the earth to heaven was cut off..

"Even though at this point of time many of the 6F people may have forgotten you, but it is to this day, I mourn.."

Post 4V - 4S Match (Total mauling!) =)

Yesterday's match was quite simply, wondrous.

4V 4 - 0 4S
For the first time that I have played for 4V, we played like a TEAM.
Many times in the past have I complained about the lack of team coordination, not being on the end of receiving passes, being isolated on the pitch, people being selfish..
But not yesterday.

And yesterday's match will probably be the ONLY class match that I'll never forget.
Finally, I've found my true self (on the pitch).
Those past matches, I didn't even give in 50% of my effort, I know.
Yesterday still wasn't my best though, I know it as well.
Maybe it was the cramp, but it doesn't really matter to me I guess.
What was notesworthy was, I really played well. I'm not being arrogant or what, but I feel so proud of the team, the class. We may be strangers, but at least, when we come together to work as a team, under pressure probably, we've shown that we can do it.
The class's cheering was so deafening. Really. And to Kat, it's really nice of you to have come down to give us support. =) It was much appreciated. =)

Now this was how the match went.

1. The 1st goal was scored by Benny. I assisted it! It was Kang Yu's cross I think, that was actually a bit too far, but anyways, I just headed the ball backwards towards the centre. It could be luck that it landed nicely to the feet of Benny, but he managed to pull of the challenges of at least 2 defenders to tuck the ball in sweetly. =) Nice team-play I felt. =)
2. The 2nd goal was a fluke. Comical goal scored by.. ME! =) It was again, Kang Yu's cross, poor cross it was, that went straight into the hands of Fredrick, but somehow, he dropped the ball. My first instinct was to run up straight to tap in the ball. And I was rewarded. =) Fredrick tried grabbed my leg to prevent me from scoring, but with all the loud cheering behind me, I knew I just had to stretch an inch more to tap the ball just pass the line. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!!! =) No glory in that, but I really enjoyed it. =) Sometimes you really just need luck to score those type of goals.
3. The 3rd goal was scored just a few minutes into the second half. By me again! The 4S defence failed miserably to clear a Guo Hao corner. And there I was at the right place, at the right time, to tuck the ball in from just about 3m out. That really compiled the misery on 4S.
4. The 4th goal was scored by Benny (which looked like Shawn's goal.. Lolx!). By this time I had already had my muscle cramp, and the attack depended very much on 'The Trio' consisting of Guo Hao, Benny and Shawn, who, by this time was given the freedom to roam about because Jonathan came on for the injured Kang Yu. Kang Yu suffered from what I saw, a quite severe cramp. And because we had used all of our 3 substitutions, I had no choice but to continue playing. =s Anyway back to the goal, it started off with some brilliant dribbling skills that really baffled the defence. His shot was superbly palmed away by their keeper, and like how I scored my goals, Benny too was at the right place at the right time, making the most out of the confusion. =)

And that was how the goals were scored. But what was unthinkable was that 4S didn't convert any of their 3 penalties! The first penalty was of the result of Gabriel's handball, and the second, Kang Yu's handball (he was supposed to clear the corner ball out of the area, but it surprisingly hit him on the arm. I wonder how he did that). The third was an undeserved one for them, because it should have been an indirect freekick for Jonathan handling the ball out of his own area. That was, I suppose, to award them a consolation goal? But who cares? They missed it too. =P

After that I went home with Yu Xiang, talked about some random stuff.. Then had some trouble trying to walk home with just one 'functioning' leg. It's now better, but I hope I will never sustain such cramps again. It's excruciating to get a cramp in the middle of a match. And what's worse is when you are the last man and you can't get subbed out.

I know it's not a problem with warming up. We did warm ups quite thoroughly, even had a lot of time to kick the ball around before the match.

Still, there are somethings that I know I must improve on my soccer. Here's the list of the things I wanna achieve, but for anyone who feels that there's some other aspects that I needa improve on, feel free to leave comments! =)

• Larger strides
• Better ball control (I still suck at it)
• Shooting (still always shooting towards the left! =s)
• My control technique (I know ppl have opz abt this... But I will change myself kz? =) )

Post-Motivation Camp =)

Finally the motivation camp is over.
These 3 days has really been an enriching one.. Mabe not for me, but for at least the people around us.. I feel.. Finally some sense is injected into these people..

Why?
Why is it that we needed someone else to interpose our class? Why is it that, the problems that were asked and thrown straight to our face, have to be questions that you guys have never ever thought before? You mean, you guys have never questioned yourself about life?

Yes I agree that everyone is lonely. Maybe this motivation camp shall unite and gel us together, for the moment at least.. Not that I'm being pessimistic, but maybe this bond we share.. Will one day be broken? Of course that's one thing that I wouldnt want, but can we all prevent that from happening? Life moves on. People change. Can we withstand the pressure of this harsh reality and really hang on as a class, even though we move on from secondary school? I really hope we can, but it'll really much depend on everyone else. Thus, I really hope that we shall not forget that this motivation camp was meant to hold us all together, but we will not forget that there's no purpose behind us all going together.

Nonetheless, I really want to congratulate you guys for finally finding out who you truly are.
Life has been a struggle to me, maybe to you guys as well? I'm really glad that through this camp, you guys can be a little more appreciative about the things, the people around you?

Friendship is the only unsunkable ship.

To Cheryl,
I really salute you for your immense courage that you have never shown before, finally revealing who you truly are, letting yourself totally go, letting yourself understand and really appreciate your friends, even though I may not be 'close' to you in anyway, I really congratulate you for really seeing through life.. Life is more than finding the person who don't care for you. It's hard to love, but it's very easy to be loved. We all know it. So all we gotta do now is to thank the people who have stood by us throughout, whether the good or bad times.
I've lost the people whom I love before, and I know what it's like, especially when you think of the people in the darkest and loniest nights.. And on the festive seasons, on christmas, being alone.. Really sucks. But you know, love is nothing but an illusion. I used to love this girl a lot. But all she gave me back was, pain and anguish.
Love, is, in my own words, the optical illusion that we shall all try to forget. You are strong Cheryl! Live on! You're never alone! All you have to do is open yourself more! =) We're all so proud of you! =)

To Maisarah,
also, I must admit I'm not that close to you either. But listening to you talk about your own life, it was really poignant. There are somethings that I really didnt know until this motivation camp. Now you said about your family.. I guess no one's perfect? Maybe your family problems are affecting how you are doing in school, but let's not have it as an excuse okay? You are physically strong, now show us that it's more than the outside. =)

To Siang Yong,
another person whom I'm not close. That's probably why I'm posting about you guys. I don't know you guys well enough, that's why I'm telling about things that maybe, I'm not in a position to judge, but from what I can see, you've really changed a lot after this camp. If you hadn't felt anything for yourself, you wouldn't have cried your heart out so badly on the 2nd night. People don't show concern for you. You think you're insignificant. But you know, we all know deep inside you, how much you actually care. Now, pick yourself up from where you last fell, and rise from there. Even if you think you're too late, which is always better than never, and even if you think you can't get up, roll. Your speed is no doubt much slower than those who pick themselves up and run on from there, but well, at least, you'll never be left behind to those who never pick themselves up. We all know how great the things you can achieve, if you just believe in yourself. Your drawings.. You said they needed inspiration. Perhaps that's why studying is nonsense to you, because it kills your inspirational cells? Yes, I hope that while you attempt your shot at the O' Levels, remain who you are, as in, your character. Be who you are, because who you are, is unique. No one can ever replace you, no one can take away your drawing skills. Now, put the talent within you to good use. =)

After talking so much about you guys, it's about time I give my opinions.
This camp's been.. Somewhat meaningful, but only to those who have never thought about the questions of life and death. If you thought those failures, those horrendous struggles that Ramesh mentioned are really difficult situations that you think you won't be able to handle if you were to meet them, let me tell you guys. There's more worse things that.. Have you guys ever thought about the difficulties that people face behind their success? But actually I'm not really surprised that people never think about these, never appreciate what they have.. To those willing to heed this advice, this is not half as brutal as reality. If you ever thought what Ramesh mentioned are the hardest, I'm sorry but I think you'd probably need some soul searching.

Time's a factor. Can we harness the power of time to heal people on the surface, or to heal people, starting from the soul. Never hurt the people you love, and to those who hurt you, remember, no one actually gives a damn about who you are. You can always make a difference, however, caring for others. Love, is not a sin. But if someone decided to lie to you, decided to cheat on you, maybe it's time for us to move on, away and very very very far AWAY from the past. The past's not the future. If someone decides not to love you anymore, let it be.
Just remember, they may one day miss those good days they had as they reminisce about the happy moments you have with them, about the promises they have broken, about empty empty dreams that were never satisfied, but it's to their massive loss not to have you by their side. He's stupid. He's a jerk. For me, she's just going through her adscolent time of her life. But when they wake up, you'd probably not with them anymore. Regret, is what we failed to get, at the first chance. Regret. And ironically, that's what adds the colours to our life.

Can we live to write finish our life book in a happy tone, or end the story on a sad note? The decision is yours. Not to walk alone. =)

To all 4V-ians. Love is really hard. 'Cause you can't just express it in the form of words. There's somethings you just can't word it out. But if there's something I'd want 4V to know, is that:
"You guys have made an awful significant impact on my life."
Lonely is inevitable. But can we all pull it through? Let's hope we do. =)

To every single 4V people,
You'll Never Walk Alone