After reading gb's post I feel so blessed to have a loving family like mine.
People often ask me, how is it possible my family's so attached to my taiwan relatives when they're so far away from us. And then they ask me about my sg relatives and while i must admit while i'm close to some of them, the same can't be said about all of them.
I FEEL SO BLESSED. I LOVE MY TW RELATIVES.
We aren't rich, we're just well to do.
Lemme first talk about my uncle. Someone I truly admire and respect a lot.
My uncle owns a ramen stall and his stall's pretty renowned in taipei. he's made a name for himself without the use of gimmicks, without any financial support from nobody. without paying to get on tv.. nothing. he made it from scratch.
Probably the wisest person I know, he always shares with me his views on politics, history, the injustices in the world, his knowledge. I admire his courage to face reality - I'm telling his story from my point of view. The biggest factor that attributed to his decision to start a business himself, was because he couldn't get a job elsewhere. Blacklisted by the government (then, taiwan was governed under martial law) for writing anti-government articles and materials, he couldn't find anybody that would want to recruit him. So he told himself he was gonna get out of this mess himself. My grandparents wanted to help him - but he insisted on doing it alone. He's a humble man who doesn't brag, but I know how much he went through just to get to where he is today. And he ain't getting carried away. He appreciates life as it is, he dotes on us kids a lot and for that, I can't thank him enough.
He shows unconditional love for every single one of my cousins, whether they were his biological kids or not (yes, he married a widow, and till today I smile every time they hold hands in public. it's been so many years since they're married, and geez it's so sweet they're more in love with each other today than before). He does spoil his granddaughter a little too much, but I'm sure one day she'll grow up and appreciate the nice family she has :)
As much as guys are attracted to hot chicks and hot chicks are fooled into falling for flirts and players.. I will be that scholar that hopefully one day someone who sees that in me would love me for being who I am. My dream is to marry someone who loves me so much that I will do anything for her on any day. I don't need a festival, a day or an occasion to show you how much I missed you. I don't need birthdays to give you a present, to offer you my friendship. I don't need a reason to help you. That's my uncle's philosophy (as well as my relatives) and I will carry on this tradition.
And as for my other relatives..
Hmm. I think the biggest difference in the treatment is.. They only care about what I achieve, and not what I didn't. They didn't care if I did well in school, if I was disrespected, looked down upon as a kid in school (all these were true when I was in primary school). When us kids are back, they're just happy to see us. I mean, they do encourage us to do well in school, and praise us whenever we do nice things for them. That's all I ever need. And instead of asking how us kids are doing in school, they ask about our well-being.. Things like our love-relationships, our friends, our hobbies, and they're always keen to know more about our lives. And it's been like that since young.
This has a lot to do with how close my mum is to their siblings. They're so close that often, they provide emotional support for one another. My aunt (before my aunt had kids herself) and uncle used to take care of us when we were kids, and now, it's my mum (and our) turn to take care of them now that we have the capabilities to do so.
Call it traditional, but I like how every conversation starts with “吃飽了沒？” A simple, yet heart-felt greeting. Whatever happened to this culture? Bringing you back to my early days in secondary school, in desperation to get into shape, I started hating food. All I ever wanted to do was to lose weight, to look good. I succeeded, getting to a record low of 58kg when my height was 175. Insane right? And I was still trying to lose weight.
And when I went back to Taiwan everyone got a shock.. But something changed when my cousin told me this: 能吃就是福. and come to think of it.. yes it is. I see kids elsewhere in the world starving, and here I am, submitting myself to this anorexic standard of beauty. Subsequently, I grew out of this foolish behavior and began to appreciate the food placed on the table. Appreciate what you've got, and never waste food that others can only dream of having.
I shan't go too much into the details, but umm. just wanted to say maybe the attitudes are so different. i feel so foreign to my sg relatives (not all, of course, but most). My tw relatives love me, dote on me, guide me, and try to show me what life is really about, what a family should be like. One of my cousins used to be really passionate about the horoscopes and zodiac signs, I guess that's why I became someone so interested in such stuff too. In fact, I believe in some parts of it. Are our fates destined? I don't know, but it seems my character seems to resemble what was assigned to me. Sometimes I hope I could be someone different, but, however hard I try, it seems I still breathe and live the cancer values.
At night sometimes I think about the good times we had. How my cousin used to bring my brother and I to her workplace to play while her boss was away haha! how she always told us bed time stories when we were kids.. how she always brought us around and showed us the city. how my aunts and uncles never punished us for our mischief. In retrospect I think my development as an individual (in fact, for my siblings as well) owes a lot to them. I wouldn't be half the person I am if it wasn't for their guidance. I was a teen full of angst, but never once had they given up hope on me. and the occasional calls.. i don't know. sometimes i just wanna cry. i owe them so, so much.
I feel for gb, I know what he means by 'that kind' of people. People change, but, what the fuck is that small achievement they've/ their kids' got? There's always gonna be people better than you out there. Don't judge people.
But erm, on one part I cannot agree is that, no matter how much I detest a person, I will still make that effort to greet him/ her. After all, my not acknowledging of his existence will only pit me at the same low-class-ness as that person. Even if people don't acknowledge your existence, show that you acknowledge theirs. Doesn't take much to take that, right?
A little disorganized, I just wrote whatever came to me.
and oh, this is in no way a diss to the sg relatives that I love too. I'm just saying in general.
but stop comparing achievements. 人比人比死人!
