Thanks everybody.

I woke up feelin' like it was just another day.

6.00am. Woke up just to wake up patricia for her first day of the school term. Gosh i didn't expect myself to really wake up on time so early! HAHA. Anyways she was the first to wish me a happy birthday (10pm the night before) actually. But that's coz of the time difference between melbourne and singapore. So she was 2hours early. But it doesn't really matter. It's the sincerity that counts. =D Just wanna thank pat for being a really good friend all these while. And reading your post on her blog really touched me =D I hope, as much as you do, that we can maintain this long distance friendship for a long, long, long time to come. Thanks patricia! =D

(i'll post those pictures as soon as I've got the complete set)

Zhiling and Yuxiang were the other two who messaged me at the stroke of 12am (singapore time). Zhi Ling, i suppose, got to know about my birthday through cheryl i guess. Sometimes I do feel her indifference to me, but oh well, just wanna thank her for her birthday wish. As for yuxiang, I guess there's really too much to talk about, we've shared so many things, yet there always seems to be so many things we can share and talk about, for we have become such good friends through a very uncommon way. Never in the same class, but we somehow got to know each other through our daily dose of soccer back in those sec 2, 3 days. And besides my family, he's a person I'm fully indebted to. Without you, I doubt I would have been who I am today. Let's keep our friendship long-lasting, and if there really comes a day we'll have to make sacrifices to achieve our dreams, I'm sure willing to risk it with ya. Life without a dream, and the pursue of it, is completely meaningless. Thanks for going the distance with me.



On the way to school, chufeng smsed and wished me happy birthday as well. I really havent hung out with chufeng in singapore all these while, but she's a nice fellow taiwanese friend of mine, and I do enjoy your company especially when I go back taiwan (i don't have any other friends in taiwan, and not that you're just someone to keep me company) i really hope we can keep in touch once in a while. Of course we'll be able to go out together more often after a levels and back in taiwan - i won't be going back taiwan as often because of my ns commitments from next year onwards. Thanks for your friendship. =D As for eunice who texted me after that, and although i must admit i dun really know you, thanks for the birthday wish.

Thanks to gabriel for your birthday wish too, though it sounded rather sloppy. haha. nvm i still appreciate that.

Immediately after morning assembly YiFeng came up to me and gave me a hershey's chocolate bar. But eh! It wasn't even chilled. So it was all melted. Haha. But for a guy to give another guy chocolate for his bday.. hmm.. a little suggestive i suppose? haha. but he's a nice guy and another jason mraz fan! We could go watch jason mraz's concerts next time, i know this time singfest seems impossible for us, financially and given the situation we're in - stress! But I shall remember to give u back smth in return for your birthday. 13 sept 13 sept!


During recess, zhiling messaged me to walk towards her class table. There cheryl tan passed me a box of gifts. Didn't even give me a clue! Except that it was fragile. That was just the beginning! I was so nervous when I walked towards her class coz this girl was there! And perhaps I was wrong, but I hope I heard correctly, that yuling said she wished me happy birthday! woot. Finally she recognised me existence. After like 5 months? Since valentines day. haha. Woot! After that I was so happy through out the day I couldn't calm myself down in the chem lecture after that =D Oh yea here's pictures of Cheryl's gift:




[A nicely wrapped blue box]


[Surprise! Two nicely decorated mugs and a nicely done card =D]

THANKS CHERYL! I shall try to become a good guy whenever I can in order to save this sheep from the horrid wolf (junkang). haha. A nice person, although I'm always the victim of her vicious, provoking language that somehow always is on the thin fine line that distinguishes joking and genuine provocation. Haha! A nice, fun loving person to be with. Ok when you and zhiling's bday's nearing then I'll treat you all to the chocolate fondue. PROMISE!

Thanks to my biological older brother, whom I just refer to as da_ge. ha. U may have missed my last birthday i'm gonna have with my braces on, and that sometimes whatever you say really pisses me off, I guess as I grow and mature, I have learnt to overlook some of them sometimes. We're a family after all. A simple message was enough - since you want to treat us to lunch this saturday! HAHA =D

Thanks to BaoChuan, perhaps the only person whom I really talk to most from class 4v. Seriously. And to think I didn't really talk to the girls in class. A lively person, and someone who always brings up fresh conversation topics! Thank you, and whilst I'm gonna be realy busy these few months, rest assure we're gonna have our steamboat once my nightmare's over! Your simple message was enough to showcase your sincerity =D

Oh and then i think JunWei suddenly remembered it was my bday. haha. Last night when he called I thought he was gonna wish me happy bday. then it turned out it was a discussion for tuesday's dinner -.- haha. But nvm that, you're one of the closer few I know from 2/3. Secondary school days may have seem so distant and irrelevant from our current lives, but thanks for accompanying me to go ns check-up, to go for the fir concert that's coming up, for organising things as and when. A conservative person, though I very much like his cool personality a lot. Thanks junwei for the birthday sms wish =D

After school Hannah, my air rifle junior, smsed me to greet me. Perhaps I cant really relate to a lot of juniors these days, but yea you're a friendly person who tries to keep friends close, especially with people like ZhiWei and myself. A rather eccentric person though =/ But thanks for your greetings =D I hope you're doing fine in tpjc.

Jing Nan, my penpal who just came back from Canada (she's having summer break now, waiting to enter uni), suggested we meet at white sands. Actually I really didn't think much about what they were gonna do, but I was so so SO delighted to see her again! Along with Wan Ting of course. We met at pasir ris mrt, although they had initially wanted me to meet them at macdonalds. I was so happy when i saw her, then she gave that dao face! and both of them acted really weirdly. They asked me to go all the way to mac 2nd floor and then they just rushed off - and came back with one mini bens and jerry ice cream cake! haha. So grateful! We had fun taking loads of pictures, i'll upload some here when jing sends me them =D



[Pictures of Jing, Wanting, myself]



The three of us did talk about quite a bit of things till I receive a very, VERY unexpected call. Overseas call. When i answered to hear a super strong caucasian accent, I knew who it was. Almost spontaneously, immediately, sporadically, instantly. it was AIDAN!!!! A new zealander friend I've not talked to for a long long LONG time. And you know what, after 2 minutes of talking, my hp battery died on me! I panicked so much I hurriedly switched to wanting's phone hoping aidan would try calling me again. And oh my god he didn't give up trying to reach me. He called back, and we had some 30,40 mins of talk time. Got to know him and his recent life better, details I shall not say, coz we simply shared so much things during that short 30mins I'm having difficulty trying to recall all the things we talked about, not to mention in sequence. haha. After I got home I hurriedly emailed him (as I post this latest blog post), and gosh, i'm still feeling the after-effects of excitedness! =D i hope he's all well and pursuing his dreams! =D
Oh yea, not forgettin' to thank Lilian, Rahul and Farah (i'm not sure who this is) who left comments at my friendster.

Of course, thanks to my family for really going to buy Swensen's Ice Cream cake for my birthday. I know it's kinda a waste of money to really be spending so much on my birthday, that's why all the more i appreciate what they've done for me. I even got the same mug as my sister (she wanted me to have the same mug with another print) so we can have a family of mugs for personal use I guess. Drink more water! haha. it's good for you.

Also, thanks to my aunt who called me from taiwan to wish me happy birthday! my little cousin, ie. my aunt's son, shares the same birthday! Actually was supposed to call her back at night, but after my dad called to wish me happy birthday, i totally forgot to call her back! =X

I guess family forms a real big important part of everyone's lives.. without a family is like a tree without leaves.. without roots too. Thank you to my family for being who they are. =D

Other special thanks:

Hazel, Shirley, Li Yun for the cap and dry-fit shirt for my birthday present (8 july tues).

YongJie, Szejun, Alab for the company at k-box (12 july sat) and treating me! Thanks for so much for providing the only happy things I have during these 2 fucked up life of mine in mjc.



Hmm.. did i leave out anyone?

Birthday Celebrations! KBOXING!

Saturday morning. Soccer was cancelled 'cause not enough people.. So.. Kbox at the newly opened ehub! We had a lot of fun and joy. I hope we get to enjoy more of such sessions in the future! Thanks Yongjie, Alab, Szejun for making it a really enjoyable time of my life! Pity I had to leave early after pool to send patricia off. Sorry guys! Hope you guys understand that I really had to go =/ And thanks for the treat. Never thought you guys were gonna treat me! =D Nothing else words can say, but a really BIG THANK YOU to you guys! =D Especially yongjie who made a great effort in organising the stuff =D






(Sorry for the weird expression. Lol)











































And we ended off with this murder picture. Lol. I should photoshop and add in a knife or a razor blade or smth. lol.

So fast.

It's not often that I go out on late sunday nights. Not anymore since being in mj. But 7th July 2008 was different. The following day, a monday, was youth day, my last in fact, so there was a day off. A great timing to have a break after a hectic 2 weeks of school. Ha.

After tuition which ended at 11, I raced off to the usual netball court to find the rest of the guys, only to realise half-way I had left my shoes at tuition centre. Hey it's not that I carry another bag to tuition very frequently! So it just slipped my mind I was carrying another bag. Hai. So there it was, missed another morning of soccer session with the rest of the guys.

Walking home alone without tired feet was weird for me. So without the work out I guess that gave me the chance to have enough time to catch on some lost sleep in the afternoon. Slept from 2 to 5, before the call from Mum woke me up - time to meet Patricia!

Actually I had thought kumar was going to join us, but nevermind I still met patricia at 6.30 at city hall. Had planned before hand to grab some bite before going to singapore flyer.

She reached city hall first, I was slightly late by 10 mins (went to change aussie currency before taking the mrt) =X Then I couldn't find her although she said she was going shoe-hunting LOL! Turned out she had walked up the escalators at the middle while I walked all the way to the escalators to marina square via city link. There was a great distance between the two linkways -.- Walked all the way back to find her since she said she was 'missing'. Haha. She was 'shocked' when I appeared out of nowhere - she was noticing the figures at the far end when I was just in front of her HAHA.

She passed to me 2 GIGANTIC bottles (500g) of PIAF skin lotion that my mum wanted, along with a jar of AUSTRALIAN sweets which was really very nice! The jar was attractive as well, and the words 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' was so apt coz my bday's just around the corner =D

[PICTURES OF WHAT SHE GOT ME]

So as we walked thru citylink she was trying to show me how to solve rubik's cube. She's really mastered it well, being able to solve a jumbled rubik's cube within several minutes. And she's taught me how to solve it! At least the first 2 layers =D

We went to some kopitiam near singapore flyer coz she said she missed asian food, so we had satay =/ and after that off we went to singapore flyer!

I think it's her first time there, so we got to do a lot of things. Here's some pictures we took! And we actually made a bear in eeyore costume at the make-a-bear shop..!

(Pictures not in order of time taken)









(Tries to look away from the camera.. and succeeded!)

Birth of a Religion..

Sometimes life isn't the way you like it, but accept it...
Equality, the product of conformity and brain-washing twiks
Since the laws of physics were written like wounds twice bitten
We attempt, picture, procreate, envisage with pens to our page as we ink'em
Over-writting every progress we make, defying all potential barriers
We grow to realise we, alone as personality individuality warriors
Carry on life with boulders on shoulders, on a roller-coaster adventure
And as we grow older, passion's lost, indifference sets in and we get colder
Practisin' solitudes of various magnitudes, cross multiply the perception angles
Ignorin' the opinions and the facts, in our faith in a religion struggle
That we call the truth, like fuck we know it without surveilance proof
When people got merry together under the same one-of-a-kind roof
And the next moment the roots creep onto us, in the name of 'evil', we pencil
The cents, dollars, notes, cash, cheque, debits, credits, for the greed this hassle
So much for the faith in our core values of the Cancer, I guess this is the answer
Till you know who's holdin' the knife at the back of your neck, it's pretty much a blur..

Like how I used to envy the natives back in my hood, I was young and rude
Pretendin' to personify personnels I thought were cool, but I guess I was hated like 'Ruud'
And so I hungered for the multi-tongue, sting and stung words with accents of their roots
It never occurred to me all this was an illusion, hallucination, just an immitation, a fluke
In the year of the horse, the coarses calmed, a war without corpses, bullets, bombs
Minus the tension, rivalry, suspicion, controversy, as freedom was freed from the wrong
That was the strife of life - like a choice between black and white, between wrong and right
It was, awkwardly, the irony between security and the desire to live happily, we might
Still abide, until the day, today, if you know what I'm sayin', laws of proportionality
So often we've encountered them in lines that undergo gradient contortionality
But the fact is, these were never real, nothin but ideas we construct and assume
And then stick into our books with pricetags on the back of each cover we consume
I guess what I'm sayin' is there's no need to take things so serious, but hillarious
These foundations we build upon could just bring us down with flaws, precarious
Never put your reliance on another is what I'm puttin it in another spectrum
Like how I'd never think of puttin' your whole trust, truly or virtually, is my theorem..

o.s. like how religions empowered man to revolt and revolutionise, and how these (the latter) were the results of war and such, I guess belief is what keeps life goin'..

And so I developed a new religion..
With mistrust at its core, with hostility as its own philosophy.

blehblurblurbleh.

It's gonna be a roller coaster week for me.
After the two papers on monday and tuesday (which i really just scraped through, i didn't feel anything despite not finishing my chem paper, i think i'm pretty immune to chem failure lol), but i'm feeling worried - that i'm not worried.

Anyways there's still 5 more days to go.. So let's just hope for the best!
23/06/08 (MONDAY): General Paper P1 & P2 [Morning] - OVER!
24/06/08 (TUESDAY): Chemistry P3 [Afternoon] - OVER!
25/06/08 (WEDNESDAY): Mathematics P1 [Afternoon]
26/06/08 (THURSDAY): Physics P3 [Morning]
27/06/08 (FRIDAY): Physics P1 & P2 [Morning]

30/06/08 (MONDAY): Mathematics P1 [Morning] & Economics [Afternoon]
01/07/08 (TUESDAY): Chemistry P1 & P2 [Afternoon]

Oh yea.. Great to hear Dominic's back from USA for a short break here, really been a long time since I've saw him, the last time we went City Hall for New York New York lol. And it's just been a crazy time.. I wonder how many things we've been missing because of all the small things that seem so amplified in this society.. It's just.. Crazy.

Hope to see him soon tmr anyway! It'll be a short meet up session with the rest of the guys, i hope it'll be time well spent! For I had given up time to study for Physics for this ok! =/

If I even meant.

Hahahahaha...

Back when we were still young kids
You used to treat us well, yes you did
Travelling together in the coolest fashion
Your family and mine, kins with passion
Maybe I'm losing some for myself, rap and all
Those I thought were my friends in a brawl
Fuck that, the beat just changed again
Must be me rusty, slow, boring, mundane
But relax, I'm just gettin' my own life back
Before it's too late to sew up this crack
Sounds restricted with the two-by-two bars
Poor flow, with this beat that I really call slow
Shoudn't be da case, but I guess I don't blame it
The society, media, school, you name it
Straight back to the doctor, the dentist
It flips your lid when you are a kid
Like the doctor, put your hands up for the doctor
The psychopath, magic wrath, you can laugh all you want
And wake up the next day tryin' to pray but you can't chant
Then's when you realise you don't practise what you preach

So much for havin' looked up to you as a kid
Thank you so much for tellin' me how to skid
But that's really a history, I admit
Lovin' the life of hallucinatory, fanta-story, I like it
Rather than feedin' off the left-overs of you
I'd come right up to ya face and be real
Coz' that's what I feel, the anxiety and thrill
You could be fakin' it to be chill, pretendin' to be ill
But with all that shit gutted down my throat
I can't believe my ears hear you betray your oath
Your wishes for a happy family, is a never fairy
Tale, diabolical master plan deemed to fail
Everytime I reminisce about footage trails
How you started off bringing us on train rails
Gettin' us familiar with the neighbourhood I call home
So near.. yet always so far, like entry in the tomb
More like gantries from rome, forever a desire
To be part of this growing nation fire
But I guess fitting into somewhere I dunno has always been dire
Passin' off as my background, not knowin' I've been such a liar..

The person you've always looked up to gives you the go signal
To leave you dissapointed, dismal in facin' truth in denial
Peakin' through albums believin' the good guy in you..
But times have changed, I guess one world is better than two...

If you know what I mean.
Or if I even meant at all.

Another world.

Friday (30th May) Night:

Reached airport at around 4 or 5 i think.

Went Suzhou (Dad's place) :))

Waiting for my rocket to launch.

Adaption from: http://news.sg.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1439878

How Self-Made Titans Got Their Starts

• Don't have a silver spoon? Neither did they
• How Seven Self-Made Titans Financed Their Success
• Secrets of the Self-Made Billionaires
• How to Make a Million Before You Turn 20
• Are You Born to Be a Billionaire?

By Melanie Lindner
Capital is a constraint for many would-be entrepreneurs--or is it?
Scan the Forbes list of the world's richest people and you'll come across moguls from startlingly humble origins. How did they get their impressive empires off the ground? Sweat, savings, schmoozing, creativity and a dab or two of good fortune.


To be fair, the lucky few "born on third base" probably have a better shot at stardom than those without a safety net. According to a 2002 U.S. Census Bureau survey representing some 16 million business owners, a whopping 55% were initially funded by personal and family capital. Just 11.4% snagged bank loans and 8.8% got going on personal and business credit cards; much of the remainder lived on government loans and outside investors.


Some world-beating entrepreneurs--like John Catsimatidis, owner of the Red Apple Group and aspiring mayor of New York City--scared up capital by getting to know the right people.
The son of a busboy, Catsimatidis entered the grocery industry in the summer of 1966, just after graduating from high school. Befriending the owner of a Manhattan superette, he started taking on more responsibilities. Four years later, the owner offered him a 50% stake in one of his stores, to be acquired over 10 months at a rate of $1,000 per month.


Within a few months, the store's sales doubled, and Catsimatidis was earning a profit of $500 per week (not bad for a 20-year-old back then). After dropping out of New York University just eight credits shy of a degree, he launched his own grocery chain, the Red Apple Group. Lacking working capital for inventory, Catsimatidis charmed vendors to let him buy on credit, something he says "would never happen today." By the age of 25, he owned 10 stores--debt-free--netting a combined $1 million on $25 million in sales. Today the Red Apple empire includes Gristede's, Sloan's and Red Apple.


While Catsimatidis struck out on his own early, others, like Sandy Weill, saved their pennies before taking the plunge. Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., to Polish immigrants in 1933, Weill graduated from Cornell on scholarship before working as a runner for Bear Stearns and nabbing his stockbrokers' license at night.


A few years later, in 1960, he and three friends pooled their savings--an estimated $200,000--and opened their own brokerage firm, called Carter Berlind and Weill. Two decades of acquisitions later, their Travelers Group was the industry's second-largest brokerage, trailing only Merrill Lynch. In 1998, Travelers Group merged with Citicorp to make what is now known as Citigroup.


Old fashioned bartering helped put Kirk Kerkorian, farmer's son and future Wall Street titan, on the map. In the late 1930s, Kerkorian offered to look after famous female aviator Pancho Barnes' cattle in return for flying lessons. During World War II, he took a job with the Royal Air Force transporting planes from their Canadian factory to England at $1,000 per month--an especially treacherous journey as the planes weren't designed to withstand the long trip or the harsh weather over the North Atlantic.


With savings from his wartime job, Kerkorian purchased Trans International Airlines for $60,000 in 1947. (It is unclear as to whether he needed additional financing.) He later sold it to Transamerica for $104 million in stock, used to fuel further investments. His private investment firm, Tracinda, now owns 53% of MGM Mirage (nyse: MGM - news - people ).


Sometimes sheer talent and persistence is enough. As a single mother on welfare in Scotland, J.K. Rowling began writing the first Harry Potter novel in Edinburgh cafés whenever she could get her infant daughter to sleep. After being rejected by 12 publishing houses, Bloomsbury, a small publisher in London, offered an advance of 1,500 pounds (about $2,400)--even while one its editors, Barry Cunningham, advised Rowling to get a day job.


Good thing she didn't listen: The following year, U.S. publishing rights to the first Potter book sold for $105,000. Rowling has since moved nearly 400 million copies worldwide, and is the only author on our list

honest.. i like that.

A friend tell' stories of a person who never got anything
And contrastin' the glory of a man who lost everything
Then reading across the flashin' pages of disasters
Confession of a hero to none, but the first to run
Choice of hero or coward, he's his own master
At the end of the day nothing's at stake, who's won
The battle of violence, bloodshed and catastrophe
Perhaps replies adventured from mother nature
Fault versus blame - moral against self, controversy
Truth and reality, fact is it's art over pleasure
Self above others, or rather it's a case of my generation
Selfish, self-centred, called the "I, Myself and I generation"
But I don't blame the people themselves, no
They have complete say - their lives is their control
So let 'em go, the real problem is in the head
Skies aren't blue these days, gloom is in the red
Of course it gotta be with education like this;
Of course it gotta be with manfactures like this
Hot from the oven without true spiritual inspiration
All they get is facts and stats in the process of transmission

So don't blame the kids - they're not at fault
But of course a little wisdom would help a lot

And oh yes.. About the 2 men..
Maybe it's better to have loved and been loved
Rather than be a man soul-less and never been loved
But I guess the fear is in losing what we have
But you realise after all - we're all broken, deprived and empty anyway.

If I should be so bold to adopt loss as second nature.

haa.

Lucky.

Lucky to be finally back home from shanghai trip. Wouldn't say i wasted it, but it hasn't really been very pleasant, especially with the polluted air that made me sick for 2 days or so. But i must say the lights at night is really pretty, but watching those tv on national geog at night (there's nothing much else to do) makes me prefer natural sites than artificial ones. heh. Shall blog about my trip there during my study break time during these 2 weeks, which I am determined to make full use of. Wish myself luck huh =X

Song: Lucky.
Singer: Jason Mraz (featuring Colbie Caillat)
Album: "We sing. We Dance. We Steal Things." - released on 20th May 2008.

[Jason Mraz]
Now do ya hear me
I’m talking to you
Across the water
Across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my..
Oh baby I try

[Colbie Caillat]
Oh boy I hear, in my dreams
I hear your whisper, across the sea
I keep you with me, in my heart
You make it easier, when life gets hard

[CHORUS]
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oh, oh, oooh..

[Together]
You don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye, I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for youI promised you, I will… oh

[CHORUS]
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home some day

[Jason Mraz]
And so I'm sailing, through the sea
To an island, where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fill the air
I put a flower in you hair

[Colbie Caillat]
And though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty, you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here, right now

[CHORUS]
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home some day

Oh, oh, oooh..Oh, oh, oooh..

Sloppily lazy

I'm crazy, that's what somebody once said to me
Just coz I can't wait to see this world in harmony
"But too bad that ain't happenin'" she said
"This world's gonna rot before the last man gets paid"
The ice's gettin' pretty thin, girls gettin' ready to trim
Slim into tight fit bikinis, find mr. right and swim
To regret when he's got no money for a diamond ring
Breathless, loss of direction, that death thoughts bring
Suffocatin' is for weaklings, I see hope on the horizon
'V. Techs' on the uprisin', Vio-'lense' is in the pistons
Bortex' on sky flyin', suddenly the world's in a vortex..
Neck-breakin' speed, battles 'tween the rich and sex
The poor's inevitable presence is the consensus
What makes the fences, is the defences they claim
Censorship on immoral material and values that brains
Smarter brains, Powered brains, and breeds Painer pains
"I need some counterpain from the bruise and burn
Inflicted damage from the ink of this page overturned"
How that's happenin' is outrageous, utter ludicrous
Designed, custom-made intellect genetic material
Rids us of our ability of think, decide and choose
So the smarter we get, the more rights we lose
And till this point I can't but stop and think, before I go crazy,
That she was right - I was crazy - just so crazy.

Music > Entertainment.

Sometimes u think about how music can change moods and such.. And you question if it's really just about entertainment that music thrives on.. Sometimes I think, there's no harm in having entertainment music.. Suddenly caught this song on some blog, felt it really suited the shrek theme. Perhaps music is also about having the ability to adapt to the different themes..

All Star

from the movie "Shrek"

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her

Thumb in the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

[CHORUS]

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play

Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid

(And all that glitters is gold)

Only shooting stars break the mold)

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder

You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older

But the meteor men beg to differ

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin

The waters getting warm so you might as well swim

My world's on fire how about yours

That's the way I like it and I never get bored

[CHORUS] X2

Somebody once asked, "could you spare some change for gas

I need to get myself away from this place"

I said yep what a concept

I could use a little fuel myself

And we could all use a little change.

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming

Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see

So what's wrong with taking the back streets

You'll never know if you don't go

You'll never shine if you don't glow

[CHORUS]

(And all that glitters is gold)

Only shooting stars break the mold...

How fast

Wednesday (21/5/08)

Finally the last day of school for term 2. Couldn't have come at a better time. Totally exhausted and drained from all my energy, I seriously needed a long break, and of course, time to catch up on my work.

And it was the soccer final as well. MJ - VJ at Jalan Besar stadium. The pitch seemed a lot smaller than usual (I thought our school's was small enough, turned out it was smaller than our school's, I think) The match started on a real high. The first goal came within the first minute - Mahdi scored after a VJ defence scramble - they had failed to clear an easy ball they should have dealt better and mahdi just slotted it cooly into the corner of the goal. So we thought the game would be an exciting one since VJ would definitely be fighting to claw a goal back. And they eventually did, having hit the post earlier after the mj keeper failed to hold on to a weak long shot. After a lot of long balls from both sides, MJ's sloppy defending allowed this VJ striker to be left unmarked and he just volleyed straight at the keeper. The keeper palmed it - but into the back of the net -.- And that was really just the start of the battle. Mahdi terrorised thru the left flank, dribbling past the defenders again and again - and it was him who provided the cross near the byline for mj striker to head in. Well-worked, and thoroughly deserved lead.

But after the break it got pretty boring - both sides still adopted the long-ball tactic, and they were just muscling around instead of making full use of the ball. So injuries were inevitable - both sides suffered 2 injuries i think. And the mj sub-striker hit the post towards the end of the match. But that didn't have any bearring on the match anyways - mj still won 2-1, reclaiming their title after defeats in the 2006 and 2007 finals.

Soon after the award ceremony, I rushed to find Harng-Yi in the VJ contingent - still has that same face despite all these years. Haha! And he's got braces too! Though he's taking them off soon. Should have taken picture of something. But then again, my hp camera sucks (it's not my camera actually, it's my bro's) Sianz. Still, we managed to talk a bit, though I felt rather guilty for holding him up (think he was supposed to go home with his classmates or something), so after some time I decided to head off to find alab, yongjie and the rest at city hall.

It's always nice meeting up people whom you've not met for a long time and catch up a lil bit on how each other have been doing - really gives a sense of time and great pleasure recalling things from the past - how i used to call wan xin peacock and such. Ha. But harng-yi says he's not 'as arrogant as he used to be', so i really wonder how he's like. ha. But looking at marists in mj (with the exception of kenneth), I dun really think they give a damn of their old classmates anyway. Like my sis had said, I don't really think classmates are that important as I thought they were. Dun get me wrong, I'm not saying they aren't, but most of them aren't, I guess - they'll probably forget about you and get on with life as if they hadn't known you. But of course, it's the exceptions that make a difference. How fast time's catchin up on me. How fast.

Dreamer.

Aussie, on his way to find his biological daddy
Separated since a kiddy, now that he's age twenty
In his head he's got a responsibility on his shoulder blades
Said he's on a mission to find out the truth before life fades
On this plane of this famous local brand which I shall not name
Things started out happy at first, but life never was the same
Would have been in ashes had he sat on the left side of the plane
But then the plane burns into ashes as he saw his teacher's brain
Splatted all over the floor, as he crawled out of the torn plane with a fall
The plane had crashed into the hall of a building forty-storeys tall
He dashed away from the scene, lights of the flame erupted in beams
Explosion, followed by concussion, immediately blinded it seems
What happened for the rest of the day, he had not known
The next thing that happened was in a hospital back at home
How he survived was a blur, with minor scratches and burns on his feet
Whilst the rest had died, not even knowing they died in the heat
Of all this misery, he couldn't see, or hear, from tapes and CDs
The emotions of these people, as he sat there watching the TV
He couldn't believe he was the only survivor of this trauma
As he read, the death toll more than 110,000, 5 months lata..

[Documentaries keep playin' it, they keep repeatin' it
He tries to hide away from it, tries to avoid it
But all he gets is the pain and trauma from it
The shock and disbelief, god was hiding it
The book of death, he would and should have died
With the rest, he'd rather not be blessed
The media keeps comin' up to him, requestin'
For interviews for this exclusive broadcastin'
But fuck it, he ain't doing it for his own sake
He ain't gonna earn easy cash in this flake
He had seen enough of God's treachery
He's had enough of it.. All he wants is some peace and be free]

And when I woke up from being a dreamer
To being haunted by it all morning, like fever
Never leaving the top of my head, I guess
I'm finally starting to see these images
Nobody wants to be a child nobody cares
But all they wanna do is to earn their wages
Well if that's what you want, staying hungry
And foolish.. I guess I can only disagree
So maybe the next time you call people stupid
Know you ain't nothing till you've seen this side of it..

untitled/

幾次的擦肩而過 你是否有察覺到
陌生的背影暗示 你那迷人的味道
在我周圍圍圍繞 希望你能微微笑
請你對我示個好 說個哈儸讓我發燒..

[副]
我們膽小得可愛 只懂在一旁等待
期待你主動告白 現在才終于明白

現在我一人發呆

無緣等那天到來

[Incomplete]

Gen.

I'm happy in my own zone, frozen in time zone
No worries and whatever, so please leave me alone
Tired of always being treated second class
It's just not in my culture, origin or past
My generation of never ration, vortex of illusion
We need some rarefactions, like waves, compressions
Depression got me staring far into future
Is it a proof? The truth? Or is it all spoof?

See this thing works on a simple basis
It's either kill or be killed, so face it
We ain't got nothing since day one
So I contemplate the day we eliminate guns
Masters of weaponry, speaking of which contrary
It's an eye for another, degradin' nature mother
So as I see 20 other cities emerge and prosper
Urban lives the bed of crimes, socialised, marginalised

[Outro]
Ironic how lives should been better, but I bet you
50 years down, problems wouldn't be this few
So fuck it, let me see you judge,
I'll see you higher classes stumble and crumble
Humbled and fumbled when you start to mumble
I just realised this space's too small for me to grumble
It's late and my belly starts to rumble..
So fuck it, I could be havin' apples to keep doctors away
While 20 million people die silently, kept and locked away..

Started: 12.59
End: 1.15

recover time.

E: I love rhyming.
A: That's the tenth time you told me that.
E: I mean, just exactly how many times can you rhyme?
A: Ok, that's the eleventh time.

I can't stop rhyming, sometimes
One after another, in bars and lines
Words, can't get out of my mind
I need some peace, space and time
And for once stop being a mime
Feelin' sour after having lime
Doing tricks that you feel sublime
That'll be the eighteenth time
I rhyme for the nineteeth time
Well if you can't shut up then fine

-some random lines talking to zy. Don't really make sense, but I'm just tryin' to recover.

Observation zero.

"It's early in the morning, I'm just wakin' up,
I had a rumble in my belly, I am R. Kelly".

Thinking about the Jim Carrie's parody in Physics lecture about Quantum Physics, it just made me recall about the times I used to watch so much parody, of which "Trapped in the Closet" was one of the first MadTV parodies I watched. Went to watch it again, probably wasn't as hilarious or stupid that I felt about it the first time I watched. But it was the rhymin' that got me goin' on listenin'. Perhaps after A Levels I guess. Kinda miss the time doing all my favourite things. Seriously.

Anyways, was supposed to wake up at 6 (as I always do on Fridays) for morning run, but got so tired from teachin' Chem till 3, that I decided not to. Fridays, I really love them. Short 4 periods only, though I had extra Physics consultation, which has cleared doubts for me. At least for Forces and Dynamics. But still, there's so much ground to catch up on. Can't believe it's gonna be less than half a year before A's! Was talking to Hazel, got to know her Chem SPA was today, wonder how come theirs was 2 weeks later than ours. She mentioned though, that she was really worried for her other subjects other than Maths. Their principal actually sent their block test results to their parents! =/ Gosh. That's like worse than mj.

After school headed to Orange Valley Home in Simei for Guitar Club's CIP. Didn't do a lot though, it was mostly the rest doing the job. In all honesty, I didn't have the mood actually, but did try to listen closely to whatever the person-in-charge, Eathel, said. She's quite an inspirational person, but I still do think these were just some of the things that we tend to neglect in life because of everyday work - so much so we don't have time to stop and think about them.

There's just so much more else things to do than studying, which I'm starting to get sick of.

Mood: can't be bothered about anything else but soccer tmr. Maybe I should stop going for guitar lessons for the remaining 6 months or so and look for another teacher instead. Thought it was supposed to be more fast-paced since it was 'intermediate', it wasn't, and I don't think I'll learn much from this course. Piano after A's? Maybe bah. Just put it aside first.

The simplest things

Today (saturday) was supposed to be a stressed one for me, but it didn't turn out to be so. I dunno how i got away with all the troubles I had over my undone work and revision. Oh well.

Woke up at 10, i got a shock that I slept for 12 hours. And it was only due to the last min cancellation of soccer that I managed to get the luxury of the long hours of sleep that I've been so desperately deprived of late. My lil bro wanted my to accompany him to buy Mac breakfast, I think it was all the accumulated fatigue that glued me down to my bed. I rejected and stayed in bed playing gameboy, reliving all the childhood memories of pokemon as he went out to get breakfast for us.

What seemed like a good act, was to be followed by a complete day of tantrums.

First, the debate over the mcgrill. I wanted to try coz i've nv had that. Then he wanted it for himself. Lol. So nvm about that
Then he didn't want to do work or at the least abide by any of the rules set by mum.
And more of course. I cant really be bothered about the details. No violence, but all bicker. haha.
Pretty good a reminder wad i was like as a kid. haha.

Anyways, i had unknowling undergone a whole day of 'wasting time' practising guitar, piano [天空!] and doing all sorts of things that I know i shouldn't be doing at this point of time. I guess people need a break from their day to day work sometimes. And if there was anything I needed, this was it.

Went to guitar after my failed attempt to complete the sgc on isis portal before 6.20. Anyways didn't really cover much. All steven covered was 'what i've done' by linkin park and 'first time' by lifehouse, both pretty catchy songs, although not really my type of songs. But nonetheless, nice. Had a little problem mastering the songs coz of the complex chords + tuning down thing (first time) and strumming patterns (what i've done). still working on them though.

Pretty weird I havent seen hong xiang for 3 consecutive weeks now. Wonderin' how he's doing coz he's the only person i talk to in class. Gotta ask for his contacts the next time I see him. Think the workload's catchin up with him recently. I used to be overwhelmed by all the things we had to do in j1 after the honeymoon first three months. Oh well the vicious cycle just repeats in every system I guess.

So I had thought that the movie would start at 8, until confirmation with eugene that it was at 8.30 that I decided to walk home instead of the bus to save money. Pretty broke these days coz I havent collected my allowance and i dun feel like touching my savings. And there's still tuition fees, dental fees, hp fees! oh man. the only commendable thing is at least I've got my hp fees in check. it's declining for sure. [so sorry to pat if u read this, that'll mean i'll have to reduce my global smses =X]

Didn't change after I got home, and only reached tamp at 8.25. waited at the contro station for a while coz i had expected somebody to be there somehow. Then huiping told me she'll be late. So i headed for gv first. And wth! My earpiece spoilt when I walked thru courts via the 3rd floor. The cord entangled with the cupboard knob and then the whole thing came out! It got loose after that.. And only one side had sound! Damn. More $$$ to be spent! Couldn't have come at a worse time. And that means going to tuition tmr without music! that's a torture, really.

[Eugene didn't ask me to go for movie! Think the rest of the ppl outside exco weren't invited for the movie, but rosanne asked huiping i think, who asked around after that] And that caused chaos, i think, coz they had booked the tickets earlier. The tickets (for initially me and zhiling, i dunno why the arrangement, i think it was darren who suggested it) for me and kaiping were in theatre 3 while their were in theatre 1. There's like somekind of ongoing scandal rumours i think. And that's quite surprising considering I've never been suggestive or whatever. sigh.

Anyways kaiping's quite a nice company to watch movie with! haha. quite talkative and discussions were lively during the show eh! albeit softly coz we are considerate viewers who dun want to disturb the others! I think i should have gotten a drink or smth coz my throats were thirsty at the end of the movie. Pretty nice plot, although actions were rather limited, i think. But i felt it was okay, just nice, considering it certainly did give non-ironman-readers, like me, a very clear picture of exactly who iron man was and how he came about. Several humurous parts too. Tonny starks certainly has a way with words, as illustrated with his sweet-talk prowess in the first parts of the show. haha.

DAMN we shouldn't have left the place early. i suggested we go out wait for the rest coz i didn't anticipate more to come in the credits, and thought the rest would have been outside waiting for us, which wasn't the case of course. Sorry kaiping!

After the movie i guess everyone was so tired that the only thing that we all wanted to do was to go home and have a good rest. Everyone dispersed immediately after that, with huiping (bus 27), aiman and i walking to the same bus stop. Wanted to take the mrt since it'll be faster but decided to take bus 21 with aiman instead. Pretty much to chit chat about, and only then did i realise aiman's not a malay, but an indian! but from the way she talks, it's read hard to tell. haha. she's better off being like her mum, like i think i am. ha. and she plays dota too! okay, she's only picking it up now, but still! girls dun really play the com these days, do they? or is it a wrong assumption i'm making? certainly not for my mum and sis, and definitely not when it comes to fighting/ strategy games like dota. pretty cool huh. No wonder arvin.. *coughs*

That was it I guess, after sending her home and getting home myself, it was close to 12. Guess it's the simple things that can be satisfying sometimes. And in that I dun suggest the first sentence in this paragraph is. I'm saying about today in general. ha. if only life was so simple to look at and deal with.

Then i slacked a bit, tried completing my sgc but no avail. no thanks to jake who got me distracted as we rhymed a few bars. wanted to post our convo here but then both of us had closed the convo window as I was about to end and publish this post.

Damn.

Coz i thought those lines were rather reflective of my current ability (they sucked), but after a's i'm gonna work on it.. for sure.

Zoom.

Ok, actually was supposed to finish blogging on recent happenings on the day itself, but sigh. Got loads of things to do. So i was thinking i'd might as well update all at one shot during this labour day holiday.

It traces all the way back to 11 April.

• 11 April - Shirley's Birthday!

PRE:

It took us quite some time doing all the planning for Shirley's birthday. Liyun texted me to remind me of her birthday, which I obviously did remember! ha. But decided to wait to see if they wanted to do anything. And so that week we (Liyun, hazel, myself) decided to meet up on Saturday, but turned out that Liyun had her taek stuff so it was just hazel and I. But seng yang joined us after his talent management workshop. Can't remember the exact date, I think it was 5 April, a Saturday. I had to stay at home cause someone from the HDB wanted to check our pipes. Which meant I sat out soccer that day, after much persuasion and convincing from my mum and sis to skip soccer that saturday. They were done with the pipe checking after around 1 pm, and then I rushed all the way to Marina Square to meet hazel. Honestly speaking, we didn't have a clear plan on what to do or buy, so the both of us spent a LONG LONG time coming up with ideas and finalised with 18items. Initially I suggested buying a pencil box and 17 pens. Ha. In the end we didn't, of course, we had: a bottle of beer, some mug + fortuneteller + cupnoodle piggy pank+ 1 comb + 1 mirror (from minitoons), water bottle, wallet, handphone pouch, pencil box (with a few pens to make up 18 items =X). And did i tell shirley that we had come up with so many things that she already had! Damn! haha.

Anyways, on shirley's birthday itself, a friday, it was e-learning day for me and that meant no school! So we had planned to meet shirley in school early in the morning that day at the block of flats near sa. My mum suspected something actually, but I managed to pull through =D

Woke up at 5.30am just to prepare to go sa early in the morning! I think shirley was touched and surprised with whatever we did, I hope. She even initiated buying of all the stuff for hazel that she even gave me a full description of making a "Taurus baby" shirt for hazel. Cool huh. Well I really hope that kept us closer together, after not meeting for such a long time. The only pity was that Liyun couldnt join us in time =X

Having met shirley, hazel and sy, I had to RUSHRUSHRUSH all the way back home to get my guitar for the class CIP at some senior citizens centre. On my way home I happened to tune to 五月天's 《金多蝦》, which I thought I could have played for the old folks. But I freaked out la, especially with only like 20 mins of practice of the song. I was overconfident I guess. But turned out I was a piece of shit. Bleh. Oh yes, today was the day the PW results were released and Huiping helped checked the results for me coz I was rather lazy to go school again =/ An 'A'! So that's 2As so far, I hope will be able to go further come march next year. But there's still a long way to go of course! =X MJ's PW results were frightening: 76% As i think, 23% Bs and the rest (only less than 1%) got below B! Incredible huh!

And then RUSHRUSHRUSH back to sa for the LIVE! Concert, which yuchuan had planned about a couple of weeks ago during the time nearer to jisoo's bday. A lil cheapskate as a birthday present i admit, haha, but nonetheless, it's the thought that counts. The concert wasn't particularly entertaining, rather repetitive, but it was the feeling of the school that brought back so much things that we shared as an og. The freshie feeling of being a noob around in school keeps popping up and the images keep flashing in the back of my minds. How childish and kiddish i was as a j1 freshie when i thought i had the whole world under my feet. haha.

Nvm about that, I passed to jisoo her bday present, a korean guitar song book, which i dunnno if she liked it, but i couldn't find a better alternative =X and of course, jinang's letter which I had kept so long. Pretty pointless now i guess, but i hope it does remind us of the freshest and most memorable memories we had at the exact same spot we were seated. sa's lecture hall does have this smell and feeling I'll never forget, which jisoo shared the same view that I had =D

A nice time we had being together. Missed those times which we'll never be able to go back to.

p.s. steven claimed he saw me coming back from the concert although i dunno how or where he saw me though. hong xiang suggests he was stalking me! =X

• 19 April - RUSH!

Pretty much so i guess. After soccer I had to go around kuan's neighbourhood in search of a bookshop that provides photocopying service at the lowest rate. In the end it was a case of me searching for a shop with the best service among all the shops. All three shopkeepers weren't particularly helpful, the second even wanted to charge me extra money just for helping me staple the notes together. wth. But no choice, coz the school didn't upload balance of payments notes online, so had to photocopy for shirley coz she claimed sa's econs notes were rather messy and disorganised. haha. The photocopying cost more than i had expected, in fact much higher coz each page (not paper) was 10cents. wth. but considering it wasn't really a lot, nvm ba.

So RUSH and RUSH and RUSH to marina square to buy hazel's gift - the fortuneteller-in-a-bottle thing. Bought one for hazel and cheryl (tan), then the shopkeeper told me it was buy 2 get 1 free -.- i didnt need the third actually, but decided to give one for my sis.

• 20 April - nth much, tuition, write letter, do hw

• 26 April - guitar concert

• 1 May - watch movie with cheryl and zhiling

Fruitful holiday? Maybe. Haha.

p.s. Description of shirt (it's in my sim card, but just in case i forget =/)

-Top front right corner put a hazel nut then write 'Happy 18th Birthday' around it then on the sleeve write her name 'hazel'.

-At the back write a taurus baby is born on [put a pic of taurus] 23/4/1990 at the bottom put e picture of a taurus a bit different can write a taurus baby girl instead then draw a baby girl pic instead of taurus then the rest the same like that seems easier.

Maybe we could get her t-shirt done after a levels. I know it seems rather distant but it'll be here and over VERY VERY VERY SOON!

Jiayou guys! =D

愛誰

最近在電視上看到一對男女對唱《愛我》（原唱：柯以敏&林志炫），讓我常常在夜深四周靜默的時候一直想起這首歌..很感人，而且讓我不自主地問我自己這問題：
真的只有愛情能解脫人的寂寞嗎？是不是沒了愛情，我們就寂寞？還是寂寞只是人心裏上的障礙；不是寂寞選擇我們，而是我們選擇寂寞？..

或許，人生真的有很多點點滴滴的東西/事情，都沒有一定的答案吧..

歌名：愛我

歌手：林志炫,柯以敏

专辑：散了吧

（女）

你的手指你的眸

你的喉结你的口

我总忍不住

徘徊逗留怕一生爱都挪不走

（男）

你的笑容你的愁

你的心情你的梦

我总忍不住窥探追究

在生命的旅途中我想与你甘甜与共

(女)

爱我

因为你我变得好富有

在你怀中被爱占有

那种满足是一切都比不过

（男）

爱我

没有你我变得好贫穷

在人世中少你左右

我想我连什么价值也没有

（合）

好好爱我

（男）你的过去你的忧

（女）你的未来你的路

（合）

我都很愿意分享共有

在每一个晨昏中

我亦步亦趁陪你走

（男）

尤其在人海沙漠

（女）

人的心越来越难懂

（合）

至少心中有个你寄托

Count-Ddown.

Yea.. havent really been updating much recently.. there's nothing much going on in the first place (or rather, i'm too lazy to try to be observant). Next week's gonna be a headache, I think. Sometimes I dunno why I'm study so much, but I guess that's how things work. Oh well.

Anyways, I think my email account's been hacked or something. It sends out mail by itself although I havent used the com for the past few weeks. I suspect it's a virus file, so don't open any mails you might get from my account. Thanks.

As I was telling my friend I haven't really been writing as much as I used to, so I was feeling a little shameful when I read people's essays which I think I might just be as capable of, but I'm just so rusty and 'blunt'; I need to sharpen my writing.

So one conventional platform I shall use from now on, is probably this huge block of blogosphere.

Taiwan's presidential elections are coming, yes I know how fast time flies, but yea, I can't wait for 'd-day'. Let's hope YuChuan isn't right. Ha.

To all those having their tests and exams, all the best, take care and rest well.

This whole blogosphere thing really magnifies people's insincerity by not interacting people directly, but hey, I think I'm trapped in this vortex too, as much as anyone else is.

But seriously, take care yea. I miss spending quality (and quantity) times with my friends, and friends these days are hard to come by.

Can't wait for this whole thing to be over. prolly 7 more months to go!

February.. So far so fast.

2 feb - go rjc, meet liyun

7 feb - cny performance, went to pass things to ms lam, meet bro at sengkanh, walk to grandma house for reunion dinner.

8 feb - go grandma house for lunch, return home after that, call to organise lunch tmr -> talk to hazel coz she was so damn bored! haha.

9 feb - invite yu chuan, jiaming, junwei, yewf to house for lunch, watch kungfu dunk -> waste of money!

13 feb - go dental till 8 pm then reach pasir ris, buy chocolates.

14 feb - sent flowers to sisters, go home, study for test.

15 feb - chingay preview - get to know waichung

16 feb - chingay actual - reach there late coz of soccer, sending dad off. after that meet with bro at around 1 at city hall, take cab home.

17 feb - tuition - how much i love tuition! haha. go home, sleep, go sakae, do hw.

In 10 mins! Too long for this short.

Everytime I step into the same old place with sighs in my face
I can only regret what I did, or said, and go in search of solace
Seeing these pretty faces of the same race staring me in the face,
"It's a crazy race," I tell myself, as I yearned to be in outta space
Feelin' outta place, hopin' I could vanish without a trace
Only to embrace the fact I'm the one out-paced and outta pace
If that's the case I'd wish for a wish for my memory to erase
And replace it with some garbage I could treat as waste
But fuck that, I'm in a couch potato, like a hot potato
Being thrown and passed down the line, and I summon a rhyme
With words sworn one at a time, like stories 'once upon a time'
This ugly blue donned with a platted silver, without it it's a crime
I ate this, you take this, I wake this, you fake this, I hate this!
How much you didn't know words were lethal till you make this
Pissed, angered, teenage angst boils within, till I questioned Him
What made me deflect off his path for me, "I was here by no chance"
As he spoke, reflectin' off my wrath for 'thee, "No one is here by chance"
Some crazy shit makin' me choose things I regret, but it's the little things I get
That makes the whole lot of a difference, if only I was still young..
But no more, as I've lived to outgrown this immaturity that's swallowed my tongue..

Time..

Youth doesn't last forever. And you only have once.
"So why not give it a try? Capitalise on it, if not you'll never use it."

That was my argument.

Yet time just slips away every single moment, and so does our youth.

From what I thought were good friends of mine, each turned out to be.. Distant.. And even more so with time.

Pat told me "True friends don't have to stay in close proximity", and how people tend to be "not in sight, not in mind". These things overwhelm me. I couldn't stop myself frow the flowing of these ideas.

I think I was a little naive.. Maybe too much.

真的是想得太完美了。

On ideas how to make this place a better place to be in.

A billion dollars to buy out LFC?
Haha. Dream on, said kw.

What a dreamer, but I don't think I'm the only one. I don't have to pinch myself to know i'm not dreaming. It's real.

Ha. What am I talking about? I don't know. I'm ENFJ. It's not entirely true. But about the blog thing, maybe. Haha. It was just last week I was still enjoying myself.. Still spending time with my relatives. And now I'm back here. Nevermind, fuck it. Blogs are not a convenient place for people to express themselves. I'd just like to recount my mood at this point of time.

Undistinguish-able.

Went Chingay briefing today morning.

Well I was late, waking up at 7.00 when I was suppose to meet cheryl tan at 7 at white sands. ha. The first thing I did after I woke up was to hurry change and rush down to the mrt station. It was 7.35 when I reached there. Felt so bad having her wait 30 mins for me for nothing. But fortunately it's just one person. How much trouble I would have brought to the rest had I decided to go with yongjie, steve, ivan, jianyao, jonathan, kelvin. Ha. But it was still a hard day for me. I woke up feeling shitty and couldn't pick myself up to be ready for the day.

And the longer the day dragged, the worse I felt. Lucky I had the company of cheryl to talk rubbish with. I can't stand people who are too serious and fake. Ha.

Anyways, the thing was suppose to start at 8.30 and end at 12.30, but it started at 9.30 instead (I reached at 9 =X), and ended at 12.30 too. I have no idea why they had been so optimistic that their activities would be fun and engaging when it seemed so easily settled. The situation thing was suppose to last for an hour, but it was little more than 30 mins at most. Lol.

So it turned out to be a good thing at least, for me, I was undergoing further torture. The icebreakers were okay, but I never got the feeling it was gonna be successful, as in, get people to engage and know each other. We're still total strangers, no matter how much they try to inculcate the unitedness in us. Ha.

Don't matter. After chingay we all waited for yongjie (he's leader of carpark 9, ha) before leaving. I left for bugis to have lunch at ajisen with mum and sis whilst the rest went junction 8 to have lunch together.

Yet, up till this point I've not mentioned anything about anything undistinguish-able. It's what I feel, is the truth. How you feel about others may not necessarily be the case. Someone who was ur buddy for a year may just become another common stranger standing beside you in the next year. How funny right.

Whatever, whatever. I can't take the pressure anymore.

Finished on 22 jan, 5.45pm.

Quality > Quantity.

Yea yea JC's stress and tough that's for sure. Undeniable. So these days when I get the time to go out with friends I can't feel grateful enough when I get the time. So I realised. It's not about spending a lot of time together with your friends.. That'll be great of course, but sometimes reality clamps us down and we gotta be satisfied that we get the chance to go out together. Even if it means like once in one or two months.

So we had actually planned to go out together to buy myself a guitar. Jisoo suggested sunday, since she has church and performs every week (or so I think). YC, Jisoo and myself we all three play the guitar, so she suggested we watch her perform and then head on to buy my guitar before having lunch.

It's the first time I've seen Jisoo perform! I still remember her playing my guitar at the SA canteen, although can't really recall what song she performed. She said she played the electric guitar, so I was really looking forward to listening her perform.

As it turned out, she didn't perform those songs which I thought would be able to show her technique - it was for church! How can I forget. But still the smooth, flowing melodies were nice, and I could feel for the guitarists who had to strum none-stop for the whole session..!

I wanted to take pictures of her performing but our view were blocked by the group of singers in front of her! Ha. So nvm, we just sat there quietly (and clapping) with Jisoo's sister listening to the melodious tunes. Oh and I didn't know Jisoo's dad was some head for the korean church (The bible society). He was reciting the prayers as the three of us slipped through the back door silently. Ha. His dad looks like those type of dads who are strict.. and conservative? I think. Not really sure how his dad's like.. I've never hear jisoo talking about her dad, but that's my first overall impression. ha.

With just a mere budget of $250, I knew I was always gonna experience some difficulty in getting an acoustic guitar I'll really like. We went to peninsula there, and, as i expected, many shops were closed on sundays. So that limited my choices even further. We spent some 2 hours i think, walking around and trying out the guitars. It was really quite embarassing for us coz we seemed like the only noobs around there! =X

Finally I managed to find a guitar I really like, but it costs $380! It comes with an inbuilt tuner, amplifier and a guitar bag. It's worth the money I think. I'll try to convince my dad to get me one of those I hope. That's my target (minimum), and that'll mean I'll have to work extra harder to save even more if I wanna satisfy myself. Ha.

Jisoo was starving, so we went off to.. SUBWAY! Insatiable appetite I had cause I was hungry too, and craving for those subway sandwiches which I haven't had for.. MONTHS! Had loads to chat about, ranging from PAE, to our new schools, what our future career choices are like, to how's life been for us recently. Jisoo actually wants to be a dentist! Ha.

After lunch at subway (which we spent around 1.5 hrs), we went walking around aimlessly in marina square. Moneyless, cashless, aimless, we could only touch and envision ourselves possessing those materialistic things we can dream of having. Hai. That really emphasizes again the power of money in today's world. Without it, there's so many things we can't do. But with money, we probably will never need to wander around craving for those.. with our friends. ha.

It's really quality > quantity.
It's been quite incredible how we can come so far from being regular, casual friends from PAE, to becoming friends who just enjoy each other's company, no matter how seldom we actually get to enjoy that, it's still quality time spent. Everyone's future come first. What we can do is encourage each other, and hope we'll stick through these tough times together.

Really hope we'll get to stick together for the many years to come.

Farewell.

Sorry have been delaying and procrastinating this post for like.. 3,4 weeks! Time really flies. Hey but at least I tried uploading several times! And really was frustrating I had to try several times before it could upload.

It just seemed like we got to know each other weeks ago. But it's really a year since SAJC PAE Orientation 07. Pat was still having her braces on and yuchuan was still crazy about kboxing. ha. we were all slackers, but we didn't regret - those were the few days we could slack. Not the pressure and stress just mounts and mounts so high that I can hardly look back.

It was New Year's Day. We were all preparing for the start of the new year. Couldn't say it was a last minute thing, but we really only decided the time and the people on the day itself. Tried to get more people to come, but didn't really know who else to ask from the OG. Initially I thought pat's flight was in the morning, so Ji soo gladly said she could come along to send pat off. Till the confirmation that the flight was at night. 11pm flight if i can remember. Having prepared all the things (it wasn't a lot, but still it was from the heart), I met yuchuan before going to meet pat so that he could sign and write on the card.

Pat was so nice she prepared farewell gifts for us too! A book for me and a box of chocolates for yc. And of course, what she left with us is more than just the book and the box of chocolates. It was memories. Sweet memories.

Really can't wait for the OG to be reunited once everyone's done with their education and NS. The OG's reduced to just yc, jisoo and myself, but really, it's quality over quantity. What SA left with us, despite it being just 2 months - is something that I don't think I'll ever be able to experience again.

Below are photos at the airport. Sorry there were actualy more, but some were blury =X The rest is with Pat and YC..




Pat reluctantly gave in to my persistent requests for BIG WIDE smiles. Without her braces. Haha.

Someone please tell me how to rotate the photo in blog!


At the Xmas tree near T2 Burger King.


Well we won't get to take such pictures for years again.

That's about it.
Somethings in life we will never be able to keep, for these are what we call treasure.

2008

So 2008 started with the departure of another friend - Pat.

I didn't really feel anything when she left initially, I just felt it was a part and parcel of everyone else; everyone had to leave someday.

Then suddenly reality came down on me.

O.G.27 has been splitted up.

How Pat used to tell me that WeiQi reminded us OGs wouldnt last till June. She was right - partially. At least a few of us tried real hard to keep in touch with one another.

• Yu Chuan: I did hang out with YC sometimes, occassionally once in a while. We even went to watch fireworks the other time. Ha!
• Pat: The random smses. Even though they can be real short sometimes, it can be heart-warming to know at least she's making an effort to keep in touch with her friends, no matter how difficult it can be in a difficult time like in JC.
• Jing: My penpal!
• Ji Soo: Well I don't exactly really know her, but she's a nice person! I hope we'd get to celebrate her birthday this year or smth. One year passes so fast! To think the other time Yu Chuan and I treated JiSoo, Jing and Mandy to Gelare. Ha.

So there were so many things we did together, although there really wasnt much time for us to hang out together.

But we did! That was what's important - the memories! But it seems everyone's just got on with their own lives.

How how I felt so bad and saddened when I saw the new batch of JC1s. Is it just another cycle of what we had? I don't know. Everyone's left the O.G., although I'll still of course, try to get everyone to keep in touch. YuChuan especially, since he used to be the 'head' of the O.G. ha.

And now that the next batch isn't gonna have PAE, whether that is a bad thing or not remains to be seen.

The first week of school hasn't been a pleasant one - forget about having a fun one. The only thing I could take pride from was that a few of us went to the gym together to train. I hope I'll be able to pass my NAPFA minimum requirements this year. I certainly do not want to waste anymore time doing things that aren't worth my effort and time.

I'm not happy with life here, I don't know what else there's for me to look forward to. But so long as I'm well and alive, I think I shouldn't complain. I should just concentrate and focus to think about my future - university choices of course. And before I can even think or talk about that, I think it's still the mouthless paper that does all the talking - the exam grades certs of course.

And when 2008 comes to an end, I'm not sure how many people will look back on this, but it's the choices that we make that has contributed to so many of these things!

Now it has come to a point whereby I don't even know whether I should be doing all these or not. But one thing for sure, I love my family, my sisters (those 3 of course), my friends. I hope to keep in touch with all, but when the day comes, I'll have to accept it. No matter where everyone'll go. You've all been a part of my 2007.

Where maturity grows, there'll be elements of innocence lost. I did try to look forward to 2007, but the same cannot be said of 2008. I've seen through things.. I wished I hadn't.

Anyways, I must say a big thank you to Pat for giving me that book which I have just started to read a few moments ago. It's not the enlightenment, but rather, the understanding of what I used to believe in. Nonetheless, a big thank you to you. =D

Take care, my friend.