Ordinary..

I wanted to thank God one day for my existence
Givin' me life and strength to live thru' the seasons
But give me reasons, to face all these confrontations
And the consequences that comes with it, lesions
Life lessons, everyone wants to be special
Stand out from the norm, but I wanna be normal
Like another molecule in the hot flask thermal
Sometimes I get angry and temperamental
I flare up 'coz I'm flammable, I rage in my fury
Keep me burnin', alcohol swipes to injury
I scream in pain when it eats into my flesh
Tell me, HOW THE FUCK am I supposed to stop this rash
It starts creepin' up on my arms, on front of my neck
It grabs me by the throat when I get nervous and sweat
But what am I supposed to do huh, live in a air-con cell
Away from the sun and the fun, I'd rather live in hell..
Than to be kept hostage..

[Hook]
There's a cure that heals me..
GOD you're torturin' me..
Fuckin' censurin' me..
Can't I be ordinary?

I'm full of apathy, indifferent to your state of mind
I struggle to live on, but I'm losin' hope in mankind
Schools pledgin' to educate but I find them propagate
Ideology for the people we all love to hate
Nature reserves brushed aside for development
Number one top priority, our entertainment
Homogenizing your world and mine, my culture and yours
Embracin' the carcinogenic burger fleet force
Can't y'all see the fuckin' problem here? It puts me off
We don't see the need to resolve it 'fore the world froths
... incomplete.

history

I don't need you comin' back and forth knockin' on my back door
Pretendin' to be down 'coz you regret your deed when you were raw
You were wrong, 'coz you started pointin' fingers in the blame game
Talkin' shit behind me, try'na defend your image and name
And three years down the road you still wonder why you left me
Alone in the dark, along the paths of hollow, deathly
You had the death of me, but I was reborn on fourth February
An infant with collections of previous life memory
Insane, 'coz time after time they came back to haunt me
Like how many times I gotta say "get the fuck away from me"
I'm doin' fine and I don't need nobody's fuckin' sympathy
So hear me out, I think you need a fuckin' therapy
Insane, 'coz when we meet face to face I don't say all these
In fact it's with you in this time of space I speak the least
Can't bring myself to tell you straight in your pitiful face
That I hate talkin' about happenings in that phase
It's only givin' me the distance between my friends and I
Now I don't even know damn (them) friends and you know exactly why
And I can't hide from history, that state of sorry..

..Beautiful..

Actually watched Disney Pixar's 'Up' when it first came out early this year, but having watched it again on DVD with my siblings just now, I feel that its theme song, "Married Life", is so.. beautiful.

Hope to learn how to play this song on the piano one day!

God Loves Ugly..

Nice to listen to some old music.

Atmosphere - GOD LOVES UGLY



I wear my scars like the rings on a pimp
I live life like the captain of a sinking ship
The one thing that i can guarantee
I'm like a stepping razor, i suggest you stay fair with me
Been payin dues for a decade plus,
Before that i was just another face on the bus
Tappin my foot, to the beat on the radio
Dreamin 'bout the mic and the money and the ladies
Oh mom, i promise im gonna be large
Someday im gonna stop tryin to borrow your car
Gonna go far, with charisma and skill
Until they put my face on a million dollar bill
Atmosphere, its just a ten letter word
Discretion is the name of my cement-feathered bird
And if you didnt hear, fuck whatevers heard
I think you got the sickness i suggest you get it cured
Caught up in the mix, of a bottle full of fix
Im gonna hobble down the street 'til i reach knob creek
Its not that i dont like you, i just dont wanna speak
You fuckin freak
Now keep your days out my week
The world keeps a balance, through mathematics
Defined by whatever youve added and subtracted
Im pushin on the hammer, to trigger the brain
Embrace how i live it, god loves ugly

[chorus]
God loves ugly...

Once upon a time in minneapolis, yo
I damn near had to steal the show
I stepped on the stage, who is it?
My names slug ive come to kill a couple minutes
Whats up with the way, that everybody gathers around each other
So they can steal each others sound
If its all about gettin down with the get down
How long i gotta wait for these fools to sit down?
Appears more clear in its simplest form
Nobody sees tears when youre standing in a storm
Abandoning the norm, and handling the harvest
Measuring the worth by the depth of the hardships
I welcome all the hatred you can aim at my name
I held on to the sacred ways of how to play the game
When the soldiers started runnin short on rations
I began tappin the egg, to spark the hatchin
Make it happen
And take this captain to the gallows
I keep steerin us into an area thats shallow
Talkin to my shadow, he advised me not to worry
He said i should plant my tree and let it rise out of the fury
So give me some light, a little love and some liquid
Im gonna creep through the night
And put a plug in the spigot
And when the water grows
And the dam starts to overflow
Ill float atop the flood, holding on to my ugly

[chorus]

Why scream, when you can lose yourself inside the wide-screen
Let life be a bowl of melted ice cream
Or be the deer thats caught in my high beams
Im rollin with the lights on, scared stiff
Reality is just too much to bear with
Paranoid, walkin around careless
No wonder youre in love with your therapist
Go to sleep my little time bomb

Future..

Just thought maybe I should start readin' up on the things that I'll be studying in university.

Sociology: http://socioblogsg.wordpress.com/events/
Economics: http://www.nus-ens.com/
Political Science:
Psychology:

Can't find the other blogs (if there's any) but I'm gonna start readin up first =)

Well time to start gettin' back in touch with the outside world I guess.

Things to do:
1. Get driving license.
2. Play harmonica/ piano well.
3. Maybe start learnin' a new language?
4. Read up on my own background and some history stuff. Always wanted to know more but never had the channels to learn.

Early dusk..

I thought I'd be fine if I had some time to my own
So I locked myself in the room, I switch off my phone
Wishin' to have some peace to myself, serenity
But on the contrary, I found nothing, honestly
I need some consolation from someone else
Something else, something tells, from somewhere else
I don't know how long more I can hang on here for
Before I drop dead on the floor oblivion what I was here for..

"Back and Forth"

The music I used to listen to had some kinda attraction that none of the other genres will ever have.

People just need the strength to believe in the power of this music..

And so do I.

I don't wanna give up yet.

"Back and forth.. Hold me back"

Unhealthy.

This life I'm leadin' isn't healthy for me.. It's weakenin' my will to live strongly man.

Exacerbate..

I can't take this anymore..

Let me go.

indiff.

I used to hate superficial people, don't get me wrong
I still do hate muhfuckers addin' to my list this long
I still got a lot of clearin' up to do, I still have a whole lot of things to spill
How you said I whined as much as the little brown dog down the block
But you never knew the day would come you'd be suckin' your own cock
Eatin' your own hat, complainin' 'bout the work you did
But FUCK YOU you ain't doin' half of what I did
You ain't gonna get yourself impressed with the people around ya
Fuckin' foolin' around wit the people who made you tremble, ya
Made you shit in your pants, reminder who could boss ya
You just a dirt in the eyes of the many, always actin' busy
Always actin' silly, tryina act maturely, sound immaturely
But as the nights grew older the wind blew colder
I laughin' at beauty in the eyes of the beholder..

Fuckin' indifference I am feelin' inside.

reminiscence.

Some two, three years ago I gave up friendships in exchange for somethin' else..
Now I find people in my situation at that time.. It's just so reminiscent.

Hope some day I'll find you somewhere somehow.

Spark.

Please don't talk to me for the time being. I need to be left alone for a while. I need this break. Perhaps, yea you were right this break has been prolonged and dragged on for some time already. I don't know, months? Maybe years. I don't know how or why or when I ended up in this state I currently find myself in. I need the strength to start anew somewhere, somehow and sometime after this long, draggy 22months 'break'. 14 months more?

I don't know. I've been too fucked up. I hate giving myself excuses, but I need something or someone to get my psyche back up. I just need some breathing space, some personal time for myself.

Like a wick that had burnt too fast.. Haha gotta find some way to ignite it back.

And no.. I don't need a religion.

Why Ray?

We see rays of light every single god damn morning. It comes and goes, but as the dawn lights up the dark with the glittering rays that the sun sets upon the earth, it feels like.. hope. You may have had shit, still going thru shit or will go thru shit someday. I am going thru shit, some people empathize, some people fail to visualise, some will not sympathize.. Some people have their daily dose of happiness, laughter and joy by buildin' upon other's misery. Some people can do shit about it, some people want to do shit but are to afraid, some people just can't do nothin' about it because doing shit about it bears dire consequences that will probably scar one's life forever. I am goin' thru shit. But nevertheless, the morning's golden rays, though temporary and never will be the same every day, symbolizes the hope I will carry with me each day as I put on a fight in this struggle I call life.

Ray is not a name. It's a perspective.

And if one day you can't see the rays anymore.. Hope isn't gone for you.

I know of some people who can't see a single ray of light anymore.. I wished I could do something about it. I wished I can treat them better. But I don't know how.

How you used to be down when the world stopped turnin' around
How you used to smile to me when the others could only frown
But now I find us swappin' positions, in different locations
You used to be active, in the high status quotation..

Fuck i don't wanna talk about it anymore. I've said about it one time too many.

Not being able to see rays doesn't mean hope is gone for you. You just can't see where it's comin' from.

So keep your spirit high, keep hopin'.

Dirt.

Diamond in the dirt, it's here in the heart that hurts
Hearin' the dark whisper, you dance with the lady in skirt
Some wise guy got you disguised to try to get in it
But you oblivion the same guy is tryin' to win it
Unscrupulous, it's ridiculous, his ideas ludicrous
Take a stab at you, take a jab at you, laugh at you
Because you never knew how to counter that shit
And you'll never ever learn how to tackle that shit
It's a hardware written in me that's too much too bear
Encrypted into my fuckin' mind, ready to declare
A war on this superficial shit, you don't know shit
Talkin' about my history when you know none of it
Don't comment if you have no background in the first place
I'll bury you underground livin' forever in disgrace..

Enough is Enough.

Another late book out.
Book out at 2111hrs.
Reached home 2305hrs.

Fuckin' hell some people just don't get it.

I was feelin' like shit, down with flu, and I had to put up with your fuckin' attitude that's pissin' me off every single day. I could have just let you deal with all the shit but no, I had to put up with it, I had to do it, it was my responsibility. I don't need people's acknowledgement, gratitude or fuckin' sympathy. No, I just hoped you could have been more considerate and just left me alone.

I don't need your hypocrisy, I don't need your fuckin' lies, I dun require none of your cockiness, none of your arrogance, none of your I-assume-all-rights kinda attitude that you possess. Please, no, i don't need that shit.

I'm tired of confronting the same shit everyday, so please, please don't push me.

Judgement

So darn busy today. Friday late book out today. 7pm but it's my job and I can't have any complaints so many people would die to be in my position.

Can't imagine what time can do to people I never knew
Just can't imagine how people can buy the case you sue
Can't imagine how many chances in my life I've rued
Can't imagine what it's like to never be understood
Rule of the thumb to always be rude, always be crude
If you never signed up for this then I suggest be mute
'Cause I can't imagine myself swallowin' in my sorrow
Always shinin' glow, shiny gold, but ha, they will never grow..
I'm losin' my thoughts and principles that brought me up
Knocked down like a timbre, but it always got me up
I might never get to your legendary kinda level
I'll never rest my case till I hear the sound of the gavel...

Used & Loved.

The best feeling in the world when you meet new friends that you can't stand to be without. That you constantly want to impress to make them like you even more. They make you hope everyday that they won't leave you. Until that day when they actually do, and you're lost without them. You can't think about anything else but when you're going to see them again..


Gee. Thanks for the mail friend.

20 August 2009 1118hrs.

Used vs Loved

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr. old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions... sitting in front of the car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide.



Anger and Love have no limits; choose the Love to have a beautiful, lovely life.

Things are to be used and people are to be loved, but the problem in today's world is that, people are used and things are loved.

Let's be careful to keep this thought in mind:
"Things are to be used, but People are to be loved".

Be yourself.... This is the only day we HAVE. Make it a great day!

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.
God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day!

The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not PROTECT you.

Stay FAITHFUL and Be GRATEFUL

If you don't pass this on to anybody, nothing bad will happen; if you do, you will have ministered someone.

God bless!

Mark --> Unread (1)

23 July 2007 22: 56PM email.

A long forgotten email I think even the sender won't remember this. I wonder why I haven't read it (it was left unread in my inbox for some reason).

Subject: FW: Have Some Laugh

Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master: No Madam, I'm >afraid it's too heavy.

A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gavel on his table and shouted, 'Order, order.'
The drunkard immediately responded, 'Thank you, your honor, I'll have a >scotch and soda.'

Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.

Customer: Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter: Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
Customer: Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter: Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer: No, I can't.
Waiter: Then does it really matter?

Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting, 'Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!'
'That's great, Sweetheart,' said her daddy. 'Come in to the living room and tell me about it.'
'Well,' began the confession, 'I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science.'

Customer: Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter: Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That's all right sir, he won't drink much

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Customer: Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

1st thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter: Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?

Teacher: Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamt that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master: Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer: I bet you, it won't.
Post Master: Why not?
Customer: It's addressed to Mumbai.

Barkin' at the Moon..

'Bolt' OST
'' Barking at the Moon'' (Jenny Lewis)

I have got so much to give
I swear I do
I may not have nine lives
But this one feels brand new

Yes I've lived a good one
I have tried to be true
There are some things I never realized
Till I met you

How the wind feels on my cheeks
When I'm barking at the moon

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you

Here I come
Back to you

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you

Well I was in trouble, bad
I was so confused
I may not see in color babe
But I sure can feel blue

I have been a lot of things
They may not all be true
My experience was so mysterious
Till I met you

Now the sun will rise in the east
But I'm barking at the moon

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you

Here I come
Back to you

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you

There is no home like the one you've got
Cause that home belongs to you



Bark at the Moon: to protest in vain.

If you don't know what to do, you "don't know whether to wind a watch or bark at the moon".

Dogs bark at the moon because instictively, when their ancestors were in packs, they would howl at the sky to keep track of the rest of the pack's movements, or alert other packs in the area.
An astronaut dog would NOT howl at the earth, as no one could hear it. Dog's may be animals but they have common sense.

LOL smth I read up online via google.

20:22

Finally NDP is OVVVEEEERRRRRRR! =)

politics.

These nights I find it hard to sleep without the light on
These fights I find it hard to rip without a sight on
The clock on the wall keeps tickin' away, right on
Turnin' cannibalistic, fuckers are what I bite on
Grind on, I chew and I live, grew out of my shirt
That's why I'm never goin' back to bein' a nerd
See I never said much in school, pretendin' to be cool
But as I grew up I realised it made more sense to be fool
School was never meant to be educational;
It was meant to be degradable, teachin' you to be lethal
And pounce on every single chance to survive
Even if it inflicts more harm to your friends you derived
I always saw it comin', they say 'once bitten twice shy'
That's why I never shed a tear since my tears went dry
Now you know why I love politics?
'Coz you fuckers don't know how much I own it
Wisdom doesn't come with age, I hope you know it
You can't gain it by livin' thru every single minute
Bred internationally, I speak sensationally
More rationally, illegal occasionally
Motherfuckers know shit about me, they tryna judge me
But see the only pillar of strength I have is within me
So if you thought I always relied on someone else's
Will, please pussy, you just one of those hypocritic dwellers

That's why I love politics

Untitled.

Just keep goin' on..

poison.

Had a lil' too much drink over at the table there
My mind started to swirl, I had to breathe in some fresh air
I pulled back my chair, my mind was tellin' me to 'back off'
But somehow my heart was tellin' me to drink and let off
My internal frustration holdin' me back from misery
It's been troublin' me, it seems like I get away scot-free
Puttin' up a blur front and pretend to be retarded
But ha.. act blur and live longer.. that's how you become smartened..

And I never will let my mind succumb to poison.

Ill

Iller than you think.

Thanks....

6th July 2009; 1700hrs at City Hall MRT

After COS duty on Sunday, left camp at around 0830hrs after helping Marcus guide vehicle to prep for the parade. Thanks staff for promptly typing my Off letter to release me on time =D

Reached Pasir Ris at around 1030hrs, home at 1045hrs or so.

Actually wanted to have a nap (there's always a lack of sleep during duties), but I can't remember what occupied all of my time. Had to unpack my stuff, wash my clothes, I think I went out for lunch I think, can't remember honestly =X

Left house around 1620hrs, reached punctually but somebody was late =X haha went up raffles city to walk for a while.

Met pat at around 1715 I guess. Received my present (thanks) and had to help someone carry her box of shoes haha. Went to buy tickets first before we walked all the way back to raffles city to have mos burger, something pat craved for for some time already. She had emi burger while I had teriyaki burger.! I think we idled there for some time before we decided to catch the 1900 movie. Was slightly late but as you guys know gv movies come with complimentary many many many commercials haha.

Ice Age 3 was enjoyable, the animation was immaculate, and the plot was substantial; in fact I felt as though I was watching Toy Story when I was a kid all over again! And with a friend it was even better! Trust the reviews on this one when they say it's even better transformers2 haha!

The movie's duration's slightly shorter than 2 hours, so after the movie we hung around at pan pacific, walkin around aimlessly and takin' silly pictures hah.

Had to leave before the last train left, went clementi where we departed our ways.

Reached home 0100hrs the next day. Tired. Oh yea. Not mentioning my whole family questioning me why I was carrying those shoes -.-

Think! THINK about where to go tomorrow!






7th July 2009; 1730hrs at Clarke Quay MRT

This time around it was I who was late... =X

I overslept on the train to raffles place, had to take the train back to city hall then to dhoby ghaut.. heh she was waiting for me on the platform but I didn't know so I went up the escalator to the mall. sorry about that eh.

We walked to the newly-renovated Liang Court Shopping Centre, she wanted to go to the Japanese supermarket (Meidi Ya), where she seemed keen on gettin everything she could bring over back aust. haha. In fact she bought a few boxes the Japanese crackers! I bought this box of cookies which u could draw on it using chocolate bits and cream.

Had Ra-men at Liang Court, I don't know why but it seems everytime she's back we seem to only eat Jap food ha.

Took a stroll along Clarke Quay, before the long awaited ice-cream! but darn we should have seen the turkish ice-cream stall first! haha.

Before she left we went listening to some caucasian guy singing at a pub. He sounded pretty good on the guitar singing 'I'm Yours' (and some overture I can't rmbr what song it was) and 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'.

Her dad came to fetch her home, talked to JiaMing for a while on the phone for a while. What happened for the rest of the day remains a blur. All I could remember was I was a lil down, what the fuck was I thinkin' man. I might just regret it for life.

Sing-along-song

Sing-along-Song

Singer: Khalil Fong

Music/ Lyrics by: Khalil Fong



I wrote this song it's not too long

'cause I've been thinkin' about you

I wrote this song maybe I'm wrong

To be caught up about you



Well I don't know what you think about me

Or maybe you think nothin' at all

But maybe you could just lie to me

And we could be in love you see



[CHORUS]

Oh it's a sing-along-song it's not too long

It's when I think about you that I hear songs

And you can sing along maybe if you want to

'cause baby I wrote this..

I wrote this.. For you.



I wrote this song it's not too long

'cause I'm the one who loves you

I wrote this song this can't be wrong

I don't wanna smile without you



Well I just want to make you happy

But maybe you want nothing at all

And how I wish that you're meant to be

Forever and a day with me



[CHORUS]



[BRIDGE]

In every way you mean more to me than you'll ever know

Girl I'll show my best to show these words are true

And if you'd like to make a song

And be a perfect harmony with me

Oh I'd find the greatest words to sing

So we could write our own romance

And..



[CHORUS] X2

Birthday thanks..

Thanks..

to first of all, my family. Thanks to my Mum for treating the whole family to buffet at nihon mura (ehub) on 12th july 2009. Thanks to my Bro, Sister and mum (again) for coughin' up the money to buy me an ipod touch. Thanks for the company always. Thanks mum for givin' me life. Thanks to my lil bro, though there was no gift from him (he's expecting me to give him one for his bday haha), thanks for the company, even though I get mad at him sometimes but yea it's niec havin' a kid as a bro. Thanks to Dad for the birthday message I got from him, even though you can't be here physically, but we all know how hard it is out there being the sole bread-winner and workin' your heart out for the decent living standard we're having, and to prepare us kids for future college fees. Really appreciate that. To 姨姨，謝謝你一直以來的支持，謝謝你對我們的要求不厭其煩！我生日那天你寄來的簡訊，提醒了我不應將一切當作理所當然的，應該珍惜我周圍的人。=D

to Alab and Yifeng for celebrating my birthday for me in advance on 13th july 2009. Went teo heng on the monday (I had off for ndp rehearsal on 11th july). Despite the time constraints (we sang from 1.30pm to 5pm) coz I had to book in at night, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Havent sung for a long time so I'm glad to return to the mic haha. Thanks alab for always providing great companionship when life gets mundane, and thanks yifeng for the support he always provides.

to SzeJun for the birthday greeting on facebook, sorry not that I wasn't concerned about your situation, just thought we oughta look around us for a while, and lend our helping hand to someone we all hold so high regard to. That's what friends are for isn't it. Hope we can do something about it. And of course, hope your situation makes a turn for the better too =D

to Staff haojie for the fabulous meal I had at swensen's on 14th july 2009. Actually expected to go dutch but he treated us all. I feel bad sometimes coz he's so generous and sometimes when I look at myself, damn I'm one ugly selfish bastard who compares people time to time. Thanks staff. For the birthday cake we all enjoyed in branch. Thanks for always makin' everyone feel so welcomed and homely in branch. =D Thanks 3SG Zhiquan, 3SG Benedict, 2LT Kane, Marcus and Sean for the company for the dinner we all enjoyed.

to Patricia for the company on 6th and 7th July 2009 when you were here. Thanks for the birthday present (soccer ball), really glad to have you as a personal friend of mine. Irreplaceable friend. =D Just hope things'll be alright for you over there as I'm speakin' right here. And of course, your fiance! Take care! =D

to Hazel and Shirley for the birthday smses, but most of all, for always providing companionship and always filling my boring days with fun and love.

to ShiJun, for making that effort to make my day on birthday even though it was slip-shot. But hey at least it's an effort, and I appreciate it =D Thanks for the budget card (and you got everyone to sign it), and the breakfast zzz. HAHA. Thanks bro. Lookin' forward to workin' together in army for the rest of our army life.

to Mary Anne (I'll remember your birthday's on 20th dec), JiaMing, JianZhi, Kat for the smses.

to HoYan, Zoe, Ben Chan, Sim Weijie, Emily Huang (congrats on your r/s), Han Liang, Raymond, Esther Chan, Steve, Rossane, Cadence, Lifeng, BaoChuan, Ivan Ho, Lilian, JingNan for the birthday greetings and wishes on facebook. Sorry for the late replies was in camp la..!

Hope I didn't miss out anyone.

Thanks.

Just went out with alab and yifeng to katong to sing song =D

Had a great time, pity didn't sing enough. Had to leave early coz i'm bookin' in back to camp later (in fact, soon, like right after I post this).

Thanks guys.

JC days may have been the worst of my life (apart from my life now), but thanks to you guys for always being there.

Thanks for celebrating my birthday =D

Love.

安安。

忙忙忙忙！

人的一輩子都在忙。
忙著工作、忙著上課、忙著預備考試、忙著應酬、忙著談戀愛、忙著做自己愛做的事..

老了，該退休的時候，想著：我們終于可以放慢腳步，可以對昔日忙碌的，充滿壓力的生活告別。
但卻在這個時候老人卻發現，他雖然在人生的過程當中，雖纍計許許多多的歷練，換來的卻是一生對繁忙世界的俘虜。

身上富有了，卻在這個時候發現：銀行戶頭裏的錢是無法帶入棺材的。
他捫心自問，他空虛嗎？

親朋好友的悲歡離合是無法避免的，面對事實吧。

我只希望能與你們度過我所擁有的每一分，每一刻。
就算不能見面，不能一起吃頓飯，不能一起看電影，不能一起玩耍，
請記得我是很想念你們的。

感恩。

sister.

The first time I saw her, I didn't think much of her honestly
I was into love, so I didn't take anyone seriously
Un-inter-rested in friendships, I took her casually
'Cause none of these people played a part in my life, usually
A friend for a month or a year, but they still don't know me
That's how I viewed most of my friends or that's what they called me
Didn't give a shit what impression I gave them of me
It's hard to swallow I know, like how you drink soured coffee
So when I broke up, I never thought I'd become sociable
Forsaken like the cornerstone, I started to doubt fables
'Cause I figured there were no 'happily ever after'
Afterall, all these while I was livin' in my own corner
And as days slowly turned into months and months turned into a ye-ar (yare)
The sorrow was too much to bear, 'cause I had noone to care
All that people got from me was cold shoulders and a mean stare
I was turnin' into a monster, my mind became temper-flared..

Doubtin' people, but this desire burnin' for someone to trust
Still remained contrast, I was dyin, turnin' me into dust
Time came by and passed, I was hiddin' in my buffer-zoned shell
Prisoner of the heart, locked up in my suffer-zone; cell
I was seepin' thru the creaks of the fiery depths of hell
But she pulled me straight back up before I tripped and almost fell
She caught me by surprise I admit, didn't think she'd fit
As an angel, 'coz angels don't appear wingless and with feet
Wanted to thank her in person, but time prohibited it
After she saved me, she had her ideas, she decided to quit
Life on this barren island, wealthy but was always empty
I respected her choice, though I wanted her with me
I lowered my voice, and requested to at least know her name
And thanked her for makin' my life never the same again
I wanted to hug her tight, and tell her how much I loved her
But I was rooted to my boots... "I love you my sister"

Yea..

I feel a lot better now. =)

ha.

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

What am I supposed to.. feel?

I feel so helpless.. That I can't stop things from happening. And neither can I make things happen.

16 months.

Love.

Lapse.

I guess enough time's just aint passed yet.

I kept thinkin' how I should express myself
To show how much I loved her, but I was like an elf
Dwarfed into her shadows as soon as I saw her
Felt the adrenaline as soon as she draw(s) near
I don't remember lovin' someone so completely
It's hard lovin' someone I hold so close to me
And the last time I did that, she walked out on me
Tryna play smart, but everything's backed out on me
But I swear this time's different; it was platonic
How ironic, I'm serious but I don't mean it
A step behind, wished I was a little quicker
Coz I love you more than my own little sister
I've told you a thousand times she's not my lover
How can I prove it if I keep sayin' "I love her"
Truth is I just wanted to hug her, not kiss her
Tell her 'I love her' to prove how much I'll miss her
She's been taken, but afraid to be mistaken
So I had to reconsider all my options
But I chose to keep my truest feelings unknown
Even if it means becomin' a cornerstone...

Lookin' at Me

(Inspired by 'The Kite Runner')

Lookin' at Me..

Look..

[Verse 1]
Reverse the time, I didn't see my story would unwind
The way it did, since when did I call you a slime?
And those horrible things I did.. I hope you're fine
With each blow dealt, sometimes I wonder if a line
Stands between you and I, like white and black and grey
If I had learnt 'how to save a life' like the fray
I wouldn't let all these happen, but shit happens
You fail to distinguish a brother from a friend
Fail to differentiate love from hate, I love to hate
People sufferin', but it ain't me, goodness sake
How could I possibly have known you as a slave
You've been my fam, my full-time friend, an all-time-fave
But all I had done in that alley down the block
Was watch him rip down your pants, his pants, blown a cock
Thought I was stronger than that, turns out I'm not
I'm just a coward, like sheeps in a herd, I'm just a dirt..


[Hook]
Lookin' at me in the mirror, a thousand times over
I love you, forever, "for you, a thousand times over"
Lookin' at me in the mirror, a thousand times over
I love you, forever, "for you, a thousand times over"


[Verse 2]
Reverse the curse, but too late you still ain't a nurse
You can't heal a scar, let alone these fuckin' burns
That creep into your souls at night, so now you learn
It not the privacy earned, it's the love you yearned
Love of a dad, you've always had, but never read
Through lyin' eyes, hidden money under the bed
A theft that never was, I saw his eyes turned red
Confessin' to a lie, stupid; I admit, my bad
Didn't realise the impact of the words I said
That summer after winter, I'll never forget
Now I'll have to do all those dirty chores instead
Never the same, spendin' time on my own, instead
Of havin' you by my side, overturn the tides
Without you by my side, life's a sole bumpy ride
Wishin' you were here for me, for me to confide
Promise if they hurt you again I'll put up a fight..

I'll put up a fight..


[Hook]


[Verse 3]
Reverse the time, intertwine twenty years down the line
Thought I had you forgotten huh, nah not this time
The call summoned a trial, sentence for my crime
I guess I shoulda read the signs, read your mind
Your voices for me to save your ass for once, this time
But stupid; I couldn't see you drownin' in brine
Where was I? Far away from Afghan, I think I'm blind
Blinded from the good that you shine, the good you defined
Perhaps punishment to leave me alone forever
The most apt; I didn't deserve your love, ever
But you could tell I was the most sorry, said 'I'M SORRY'
But that changes shit, for the first and last time, I cried
'Cause nothin's changin' the fact I made a mistake
God's the only person to decide what to take
From a lethargic liar; just one lie too great
That's all it takes.. To take your life crate..


[Hook]


[Outro]
And perhaps.. There's a way to be good again..
(Loop)
Lookin at me in the mirror..
"For you a thousand times over"

Thanks.!

Perhaps there really are nice people out there.

Today booked out at 5pm after COS Duty on saturday.
When i walked out the gate to the bus stop, the bus just left! Argh. Felt really bad the whole day, things couldnt get worse. Miss that bus, and it was crowded transport, going home late and such.

But this old 46 guy drove past the bus stop, asked if i wanna hop on to jurong point. I gladly accepted it. Why not?

Nice person. Thanks for the ride eh.

For you a thousand times over.

Searchin'..

Summer of two thousand and five, it'll never be the same
For how you changed my life in every single way, it's pain-
Ful now because I lost myself then, and then reclaimed
Myself back, now I'm like a lost soul, searchin' in the pourin' rain
Tryin' to alter things back what you did in every single lane
Tryin' my very best to maintain, trying hard to remain sane
Tryin' all I can to make myself a name, to get myself famed
Tryin' everythin' I have to reconstruct this plane
Tryin' out every single mean, every single pill to relieve the pain
Tryin' on every single jean, every single shirt to look Dane
Tryin' to replace this window pane; inject these veins
Tryin' to figure out if I'm on the right track but the wrong train
Tryin' not to appear disdain, I could use a little champagne
Tryin' to make these images go away, but they'll always remain
Tryin' to convince myself to be nice to these people; entertain
Tryin' to just be me.. But I've had it.. I won't feign...

Never ever.

Fame

Beat by 'Anno Domini Records' (Soundclick)
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?genre=Instrumentals&songid=7675643&q=hi

We gonna have fame..


[Verse 1]
Imprisonment, insane people go searchin for it
Goin' thru shit for it, doin' the forfeits
True to all you ass-holes, beatin' all the counterfeits
Becomin' one of them jack-assed snakes
Becomin' hypocrites, but they don't realise it
It's a vicious cycle, they try to beat it
Like me, fuckin' asian accent rap coke n' shit
I try to stay true to the game, but fuck it all..
Fuck it all.. if

'We Gonna Have Fame'!

[Verse 2]
It ain't easy in the military, nothin' comes instantly
You rush to wait and wait to rush constantly
But the days pass by so fast, so quickly, so hurry
Before time's over, write some shit quickly
Put it on the record disk, hopin' sincerely
God crosses to his path, helps him partially
A good fifty percent, the rest's his personally
We all know we can't trust Him completely.. if

'We Gonna Have Fame!'

[Verse 3]
Amazin' power, influence, money come with fame
But once you commercialise, it ain't the same
That's acid on rap, corrodes your brain like acid rain
Give you a condom, tell you 'restrain and abstain'
But money's in his bag, so fuck you no complains
I'll kidnap you, package and transport you from spain
To Ukraine, we'll take plane, thru the shorter lane I promise
To fame we must so let's go on this record disc

'We Gonna Have Fame!'

Hurt

Beat by 'Burnsie' (Soundclick)
http://www.soundclick.com/player/single_player.cfm?songid=5889729&q=hi&newref=1

[Verse 1]
I'm losin' my sense of direction, I can't focus; losin' concentration
At this point of my life I need encouragement, your motivation
Havin' had the best days of my life I'm havin' the worst, right now
Coz right now things aren't goin' too well for me, so how..?
Needa pull myself out of this mess; coz honestly
I've let too many people down, this I confess
Thinkin' about how I shoulda have made things better
For you, my family and friends; shoulda treat y'all better
No matter how much I put it, to you it's just words in letters
Put in thin pieces of envelopes, to you just ink on paper
I think about it every night when I tuck myself in bed
The same god-damn bed I put myself to sleep in, blankets laid
On the broken wooden planks that hurt my shoulder blades
I can't go to sleep, I think "I should have done that instead,
Shouldn't have said the words I have said", but soon these images fade
The very next mornin' I wake up feelin' alright, but I know, nightmares await..

[Hook]
I hurt myself.. Today..
To see if I still feel..
I focus.. On the pain..
The only thing that's real..

[Verse 2]
Pain from the hangover last night, not feelin' quite right
Stepped out from a room - pitch dark, feelin' shit; all contrite
Tryin' to get a grip of myself, tell myself it was just a bad dream
And that everything wasn't as bad as I thought, isn't as bad as it seems
Convince, persuade, recognise myself a proud soldier who fights hard all day
To stay alive, but recently I'm findin' it hard to find a purpose to pray,
To the gods who's given me so much help, advice all the while, all the way
Your whispers.. fadin' with each day.. I can't hear what you say no mo'
As if a sign to tell me you're on my side no mo', "Go on without ya"
So I neglet your absence, so far I'm doin' fine without ya
But I'm not so sure I can continue to say that in the future
These people around me have kept me cozy and warm, not one censure
But one thing rest assure, I'm freezin' deep down inside
If you know how it feels like, below zero I take it in my stride
Claimin' to know the truth.. But I don't know why I don't know how
When I feel the pain on my wrist.. Lift my arm and I see a bleedin' scar..

[Hook]


[Verse 3]
The only thing that's real, is that I love y'all, I love you too
But no matter how much I'd like to believe, I'm no hero that's true
Funny how you can see me; cool, but never cooler than the inside
And friends sorry I've lost trust I can't find no one to confide
Minimal energy left to pick up the pen on the table and scrible-
Out descriptions of the remaining emotions in me, fixed and unscrambled
Attempt to feel repent for it, only want to exempt from it
Google, yahoo all I could to search for a beat, make an attempt at it
Murder the beat, backfired and see me epic fail another feat
Crash and burn into ashes, raisin' white flags in defeat
Imagine it another dream, hoping the pain just goes away
Grab an alcohol drink, pop it and swallow my sorrows away
Pain from the hangover last night, not feelin' quite right
Stepped out from a room - pitch dark, feelin' shit; all contrite..
Tryin' to get a grip of myself, tell myself it was just a bad dream
And that everything wasn't as bad as I thought, isn't as bad as it seems..

[Hook]

[Outro]
So I hurt myself today..
Try wakin' me up to reality..
I guess I still have that bit in me to carry on..
Pain.. haha.. The only thing that's real...

Just like the hero.. Dead.

So fast.

USUAL BOOK OUT TIMING: Fridays 1530hrs - 1630hrs
TRADES COURSE POP DATE: 150509 1900hrs - 2100hrs [Friday]
(I drove my BX during the parade! View facebook)

After POP went bedok to eat bbq seafood. Reached home around 11 i guess.

160509 [Saturday] - Played soccer. Supposed to go NTU Tea session but raining. =( No umbrella. Replayed MGS last episode within one afternoon.

180509 [Monday] - Cancel MySavings account. Went to fetch my bro together with my mum.

190509 [Tuesday] - Met Hazel & Shirley for Hazel's belated birthday. Dhoby Ghaut Cathay Nihon Murah. (View facebook)

200509 [Wednesday] - Meet Sam Tang & Jun Wei watched 'Angels and Demons'.

210509 [Thursday] - Went swimming in the morning, then met YiWei, Sean, Marcus, Ben, Jerrold, ShiJun, Jason, Billy for Kuishin-bo at Suntec City at 1730. OMG $40 dinner is burning a hole in my pocket =( (still owe shijun $2)

220509 [Friday] - Went for Thai restaurant in Kovan for lunch. Went swimming after that. Meet Tang and Junwei for 'Night at the Museum 2'. Ate LJS.

230509 [Saturday] - Soccer was pathetic. Only 5 people came (YX left) lol. Played with the kids at the netball court. Nvm then sigh. Met Zhang, SzeJun, Alab for lunch at Carl's Jr. before YiFeng joined us after that. Went Coffee Bean's to chill. Think they went for movie after dinner. Had steamboat at home! I love my mum's cooking. =D

240509 [Sunday] - Blog this thing and get ready for book in.. The same old shit again haha.

1st Book-in after Trades Course: 24th May 2009, 2200hrs [Sunday]

These few nights were damn busy god damn. Finally collected some decent beats.

050509 Media.

Thought of a remake of the 'Media' back in Jan 2006.

Week in, week out, I'm ostracised, confined to the military
Now everytime I'm unleashed to the world I'm lost in reality
That day boredom drove me to switch on my grandy T.V.
What flashed thru' my mind were images of tragedies
A conscript who tastes mild freedom every once in a while
I saw excess, extravagant freedom drivin' people senile
I saw the downside of all these shit; people don't know shit
About the definition of all boundaries and limits; I saw people crazy
Crazy 'bout the media frenzy, masterpieces of papparazi
Politicians charismatic, outspoken with ideals; contradictory
Plainly speakin', people readin', watchin', hearin', speakin' religiously
About systems and institutions put in place by the people before thee
So confident about the understanding of the human society
But to me so obtuse - they institutionalised so completely
'Cause they run their lives so rapidly lately, souls lost completely
Seein', believin', into this vortex of complexity

[Hook]
The net, audio, radio, paper, the media
Extend they hands to greet ya, to meet ya
With toxins, poisoned data to feed ya
Now they ready to pounce, devour and eat ya

The sex and the violence, the rude and the nude
Teachings of failed parents; failed to understood
Most afraid of they kids comin' back home with earrings
Kids blockin' out words of wisdom they hearing
A cartooned body; outlet to vent they frustration
They situation they in, result of failed education
Coupled with inadequate communication with reality
Makin' names for theyselves in virtual reality
Couch-potato lifestyle, eatin' your mashed potato
Makin' news on radio, stories on your T.V. show
So you guys out there get a whole true story video
They just givin' you what you want, entertainment and news
More news, bizzare news, hypocritical views, you can't argue
The weakest link in the poison text filter; through you
What comes around, goes around, it all comes back to you..

[Hook]
The net, audio, radio, paper, the media
Extend they hands to greet ya, to meet ya
With toxins, poisoned data to feed ya
Now they ready to pounce, devour and eat ya


Whatever.. Fuck this.

280409. Untitled.

Have you ever experienced the fragility of relationships
Like you never knew how far close was, till things dip
Things sour, shit happens, rage boils and evaporates
To thin air, leavin' you red faced and your closest friends dead
And then you wake up to your senses, to reality, to realise
You had just self-destructed, faltered defences, you're demise
"What have you done?" Destroying what you helped build
Now you an empty man, trying in vain, escape from guilt
It's stupid..

If you had known, you wouldn't have blown
Wouldn't have retrieved the bone that never was
Coz what you see may all be false
Fuck you if you don't feel remorse..

A couple of years back I had a belief
A belief that true love exists, true love I could trust
Now two years later this story's been told till rust
The more I speak of it, the more flack they cast
It's becomin' a joke, one laugh too much
It's gettin' sticky, like covered in starch
But what can I do? Only to live my life away as a fool
Like the Jack of all tricks, never knew he was just a tool..

If you had known, you wouldn't have blown
Wouldn't have retrieved the bone that never was
Coz what you see may all be false
Fuck you if you don't feel remorse..

So what.

Just met this arrogant bastard from my sec sch days. His initial response was like: 'huh u man ah'?

Wanted to talk back but ah nvm, not like such ppl are of any importance or significance to me anyways.

What's wrong with being a man. I'm doing my best, contributing and still serving for a country I'm not even sure I'm commited to. Perhaps the people here is the reason why I've never felt a sense of belonging here, and I've always felt like going back to where I should be. Sigh.

Can't be officer or sergeant because of sbj? That's stupid.

But in any retrospect, after these 7 weeks here I think I'm starting to appreciate my vocation, but I'm defo not takin' anything for granted. Hopefully the next batch of commanders that come in are decent people. Then perhaps they'll change my perception of y'all local lads.

If I Didn't Have You

"If I Didn't Have You" (Live)
Performed by Randy Newman & John Goodman
Written by Randy Newman
Music From The Motion Picture Original Soundtrack "Monsters, Inc." (2001)
Live At The "Oscar - The 74th Annual Academy Awards" (2002)





If I were a rich man
With a million or two
I'd live in a penthouse
In a room with a view
And if I were handsome, it could happen
Those dreams do come true
I wouldn't have nothing
If I didn't have you
Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
Wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
Wouldn't have nothing

For years I have envied
Your grace and your charm
Everyone loves you, you know
Yes, I know, I know, I know
But I must admit it
Big guy, you always come through
I wouldn't have nothing
If I didn't have you

You and me together
That's how it always should be
One without the other
Don't mean nothing to me
Nothing to me

Yes I wouldn't be nothing
If I didn't have you to serve
I'm just a punky little eyeball
And an ugly little optic nerve
Hey, I never told you this but
Sometimes I get a little blue
But I wouldn't have nothing
if I didn't have you

Dance with me

I wouldn't be nothing
If I didn't have you
I wouldn't know where to go
Wouldn't know what to do
I don't have to say it
'Cause we both know it's true
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you
I wouldn't have nothing if I didn't have you

Yesterday

Singer: Atmosphere
Album: "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold" (2008)
Song:



"YESTERDAY"

[Verse 1]
I thought I saw you yesterday
But I didn't stop cause you was walking the opposite way
I guess I could have shouted out your name
But even if it was you I don't what I would say
We can sit and reminisce about the old school
Maybe share a cigarette because we both fools
Chop it up and compare perspectives
Life Love stress and Set backs
Yes'
You could tell me how hard you had it
And you could show me all the scares to back it
And we can analyze each complaint
Break it down and explain these mistakes i make
I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry
But you knew me back when i was a younger me
You've seen Sean in all types of life
And I've been meaning to ask you if I'm doing alright



[Chorus]
Yesterday, was that you
Looked just like you
Strange things my imagination might do
Take a breath reflect on what we've been through
Or am I just going crazy cause I miss you

Yesterday, was that you
Looked just like you
Strange things my imagination might do
Take a breath reflect on what we've been through
Or am I just going crazy cause I miss you



[Verse 2]
I'm Shook
I know
I pushed when I should of pulled
Took it all back if I could I put that on my soul
And I would make a top notch good listener
If you could block off a little time out to give it here
Since we went our separate paths
I hits a couple of snags
That remind me of the past
I cant front I'm having a blast
But damned if I ain't afraid of how long its gonna last
Sitting here wishing we could kick it
Gimme your opinions I do miss the criticisms
I didn't mean to be distant
Make a visit
Ill wait up and keep the coffee brewing in the kitchen
But who am I jokin' with
Theres no way that you and I will ever get to re-open it
It doesn't matter, this is more than love
And maybe if I'm lucky, get to see you out the corner of



[Chorus]



[Verse 3]
And when you left, I didn't see it comin'
I guess I slept, it ain't like you was runnin'
You crept out the front door slow
And I was so self-absorbed I didn't even know
And by the time I looked up it was booked up
Put it all behind you, the bad and the good stuff
A whole house full of dreams and steps
I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept
You disappeared but the history is still here
It's why I try not to cry over spilt beer
I can't even get mad that you're gone
Leavin' me was probably the best thing you ever taught me
I'm sorry, it's official
I was a fist-full, I didn't keep it simple
Chip on the shoulder, anger in my veins
Had so much hatred, now it brings me shame
Never thought about the world without you
And I promise that I'll never say another bad word about you
I thought I saw you yesterday
But I knew it wasn't you, 'cause you passed away, dad



[Outro]
Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin' crazy 'cause I miss you?

Junction

I'm tired of saying the same shit everytime I rap
Tired of thinkin' thru the shit that I've never had
All these time, in my life, the regrets that I have had
It's absolute craziness, sometimes it burns when I'm mad
See all these time in my life I've lived passively
Institutionalized, homogenized, conformity
Compromisin' with the system, becomin' one of 'em
Only to realise I'm no different than all of 'em
Used to condemn the life they've had; hypocrite
Now I find myself in an awkward situation; I'm sick
Sick of givin' the same old excuses everytime I quit
Showin' no signs of remorse, reluctant to commit
To this common cause we envisioned to make it
But that was yesterday, it's gone so, ah, fuck it
Let's not accept that we all have limits
Let's see how far we can go with talent we emit

I envision ten years on I'll still be the same
Just another person, passerby, no one knows his name
Havin' made a choice between fame and mediocrity
Never had a shot at producing his own CD
Never had a shit clue about what to do with his life
Never had a breakthrough lookin back in his life archive
Another ten years on sinkin' in a mid-life crisis
Envy of all the wealth, fortune and fame that could have been his
But it don't matter I'm not in here for the money
The tangibles in life; it don't matter really
As long as you have the food, water and shelter
But you don't just wanna be another miss or mister
You just want to be remembered as someone unforgettable
Someone incredibly, truly, remarkably inspirational
So many times in my life I've said it's make or break
Now this time's for real.. Or is it all fake?

POSTED TO..

1. You are posted to 46 SAR.
2. Your new vocation is ARMD INF TPR.
3. You are to report to: Sungei Gedong Camp, BLK 214, S1 BRANCH.
Reporting Date/Time: 23/03/2009 at 0800 hrs.

So far from Pasir Ris! =(

Unforgettable.

Everytime I hear this song.. I feel so touched.

Music of the old generation really is music..
And i really hope the new generation of music can produce this kind of music instead of the mashed music they're repeatedly using!

"That's why darling..
It's incredible..
That someone so.. unforgettable..
Thinks that I am.. unforgettable too.."

Mood.

CIRCLE OF LIFE
- Elton John

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done

Some say eat or be eaten
Some say live and let live
But all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give

(Chorus)
In the Circle of Life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap of faith
It's the band of hope
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle, the Circle of Life

Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars

There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps the great and small on the endless round

(Chorus repeats)

On the path unwinding
In the Circle, the Circle of Life.

MUSIC SCORE: http://www.scribd.com/doc/4104065/Circle-of-Life

20 months left!

POP LOH..!!

9 weeks of BMT have passed by so fast.
Getting to know my platoon mates, although I doubt we'll keep in touch due to army life anyway, was a pleasure. What was more pleasing was that alab's in the same company as I am, yifeng's in my platoon. So far so good. Without them life in the army wouldn't have been the same. Thanks for their help and company whenever I needed them the most =D

Really happy and proud to have completed the 24km march although I must say it was made relatively easier due to the absence of our store items and the time allocated for the march (we woke up at 2am to prepare for the start of the march at 5am).

BMT is just the fundamentals I understand, but these 9 weeks have been nice, despite the punishments and having some uncooperative people but that's okay now that everything's over =D

Now all I can do is rest well during this block leave and prepare myself for the next phase of army - probably as a private. Just so happy and relieved to have completed BMT =D

Special thanks to kai, nam chew who have helped me tremendously through out these 9 weeks =D Nam chew has been really helpful and a good listener. His next buddy would definitely appreciate him I believe, for his pleasant, cheerful and altruist character.

POP TIME: 1600hrs - 1700hrs
BOOKED OUT: 1730hrs
REACHED HOME: 1830hrs

BLOCK LEAVE PERIOD: 120309 - 220309
TO CHECK FOR POSTING ON: 200309 1000hrs onwards
DATE FOR REPORTING AT NEXT UNIT: 230309

But for now, it's rest time!

p.s. going orchard now to meet nic, stuart, quek and kai at orchard at 2130hrs.

Not ok.

Everything's not ok..
And I'm just missing so much of everything.
So much.. Too much.
And wasting so much time on things I dun even know why I'm doing.

Just.. Hope for a better world out there.

A Levels

I dunno how I should feel at this moment. Seeing yifeng, alab and sj getting their certs from principal was kinda envious. They're getting close to full points, but I'm only here with 80. It's not that bad, but it's not that great either. I'll just see the courses available and stuff I guess. But at this moment I dunno. I can't feel anything at all. There just seem to be more important stuff than all the shit that I went thru last year.

I havent talked to yongjie and zhang yet, about their results but I hope they're doing ok. It's just a small step in life I know, but it's still a setback nonetheless. Hope they'll carry on strength to strength. =D

p.s. Went to watch 'watchmen'. Story line's quite interesting. Waiting for new movies to come out! Especially the horror film that we saw during the ads.

: Just wanna thank all those who have made me feel better.

Feeling: A Levels' no more. Fuck the jc life. Fuck the A levels. Just lookin' forward to P.O.P.'s next week =D

LAST BOOK-IN & OUT AT TEKONG

6th Book-out in BMTC: 5th March 2009, 2110hrs [Thursday]

News about the A' Levels Results Released were finally confirmed on Tuesday after our Games Day (Before Recruit's Evening). Though really happy to have this extra day off due to Results Release, I'm feelin' all the tension, anxiety and anticipation.

Let's just see how far my efforts have taken me to. Good luck to myself lol.

6th Book-in in BMTC: 8th March 2009, 2110hrs [Sunday]

Delayed acknowledgement =X

My friend was complaining that throughout my post on Sitex, I didn't thank him for helping me. But hey, he really didn't help me a lot either...

Haha! Alright just kidding. Thanks yx for all the help during Sitex, without you I don't think I would have done as well. And thanks for helping me check in my cheque coz I didnt have the time to meet ya. Thanks man.

India detail!

5th Book-out in BMTC: 28th February 2009, 1230hrs; 1630hrs from Army Museum [Saturday]

Main focus this week:
Sit-test from 230209 to 250209 (Monday- 12km Road March),
HG (Live),
Final IPPT,
Army Museum Visit

7 weeks in the Army already!

5th Book-in in BMTC: 1st March 2009, 1755hrs [Sunday]

Marksman!

4th Book-out in BMTC: 21st February 2009, 1130hrs [Saturday]

Actual book-out was 20th February 2009, 2030hrs. But had to stay back for RT! =X Coz i failed my SBJ and pull-ups. Well hope things get better with extra training!

Main focus this week: Grenade Assault Course (GAC), Basic Trainfiring Package (BTP) until the late late night!

But glad I got my marksman! Although I feel I could have done better =/

4th Book-in in BMTC: 22nd February 2009, 2025hrs [Sunday]

Exhausted.

3rd Book-out in BMTC: 13th Febuary 2009, 1815hrs [Friday]

During this week we had loads of lessons, including the learning to recognise the types of Hand Grenades, how to inspect a hand grenade before throwing, anti-hg drills, how to set up detonators, how to tie the different types of knots and lashings, how to apply first aid dressing, the characteristics of armerusts & mines (anti-infantry mines, anti-tank mines and claymore mines).

Apart from those, we had loads of PT lessons. SOCs after SOCs (we had 3 sessions this week), Strength Training, AGR etc. Really tiring week.

3rd Book-in in BMTC: 15th February 2009, 1740hrs [Sunday]

Field camp week

2nd Book-out in BMTC: 6th Febuary 2009, 1745hrs [Friday]

Reflections:
Field Camp (310109 - 050209) was really tiring, the 8km march was not as tiring as I thought, but the following activities such as the tactical marches, the multiple punishments given out, IFC (especially the firing movements) sure were. Shell-scrape digging seemed difficult, it was really tough I admit, but after the first few hours I think I started to get the hang of it =D Curious I am though, as to how I'm gonna pass the test time-limit of 45 minutes.

Throughout the whole field camp I was really REALLY careful with the handling of my rifle. I never would want to get stunned or misfire and get confined, given guard duty or whatsoever. Those few days I really lived in caution, dread, fear. The rifle would never leave me or any part of my body. I hugged it real tight to sleep. And I can say I'm really proud that I made it without losing my rifle despite the exasperating 1/3 guard duty, sentury duties, stand-to.

A little pity though to alab, who, along with many of his platoon 2 mates (I think 15 other), was punished for poor equipment handling. Worse still, he lost his bayonet, which was afterwards found, and had his SAR21 stunned not once, but TWICE =/ So he had guard duty on friday evening (2hours of duty, 4 hours of sleep, 2 shifts for the night.)

The BIC was really a toll on my fatigue level. I was the last in my section, the machine guns were so loud but I am really pleased I made it. I never stopped, but continued to leopard crawl with all my might =D All I can hope for is for that to build up my combat and physical fitness level. I'm aiming to be a commander. If not I really wanna be a medic. I've had my mind set already. Let's see how the next few weeks would influence my final decision..

This week, I lost another 2.8kg. And I can finally don the grey/silver puma jersey I bought in taiwan last december. It fits nicely on me now =D

I'm still adapting to military life though. Let's hope for the best we shall.

But at the same time, I must really say having read the letter during field camp, so much memories just flashed through my mind. I've probably taken so many things in life for granted. And I miss so many things. So many people... Everything I used to have before 8th January 2009. I just want everyone to be happy.

Take care.

2nd Book-in in BMTC: 8th Febuary 2009, 1925hrs [Sunday]

ARMY MAN.

IMPORTANT DATES:

Date Enlisted: 8th January 2009, 1130hrs [Thursday]
Company Enlisted in BMTC 1: Jaguar Coy, Platoon 3, Section 2, Bed 07 [J3207]
Projected Date of BMTC 1 P.O.P.: 11 March 2009
O.R.D.: 7th November 2010

LANDMARKS:

1st Book-out in BMTC 1: 23rd January 2009, 1730hrs [Friday]

Reflections: It's been really tough, but these 2 confinement weeks has developed some muscles on my biceps (Yay!) Really tired now, just wanna rest well tonight and go out with szejun, alab, zhang, yifeng tmr. Yongjie didn't turn up, he had something on whilst we decided to go to tampines mall and then bugis for dinner. It shall be to raffles city next time though haha! Woke up on 24th Jan at 5am, went to see sinseh at bedok reservoir before gg to meet them.

1st Book-in in BMTC 1: 27th January 2009, 2010hrs [Tuesday]