morning mrs tay

Dear Mrs. Tay

I feel like paying you a visit after my exams.

But where and how do I find you?

I'm sure you're resting well among the stars.

Since 2005.

Yours sincerely,

Love

time to do something

Tired of hiding behind the screen?

It's time to do something.

be a happy mum

And she's been sleeping on the bed for 2 entire days already.

This is worrying. Please. be happy.

lame love rhymes

We're connected by the phone, by the texts

By emails, by facebook, the internet.

But still, you and I, we feel so distant

Your hair, your smile, so reminiscent

lame love rhymes lol

take care.

Okay I'm just skimming thru' the old photos of myself and some of my friends..

And geeez look how far I've come from being an introvert to who I am today.

And then I thought about you. We were so alike.

You used to be so quiet, so introverted.. So blue and so sad.

I'm just glad you went overseas and became a lot happier.

I'm really happy for you.

And even though I'm probably forgotten by you, I will never forget the fun times we had.

You were like my sister. I loved you so much. But I had to let go didn't I.

The best decision your parents ever made for you.

I looked outside of my window and saw the twinkling star.

And I wonder how you are. lol so cliche but really.

i felt the love tonight

I just heard one of the truest love story ever told

Noddin' my head in agreement, then I felt the cold

With tears of gold, she flips thru' historical pages

Of a normal school teen, fast-forwarded marriages

They never got together, and that's a regret

Boy met the girl, but that was 28 years back

Thru' the darkest times, the darkest storms, she cries

Infinite maybes and possibilities, she tries

To stop herself from imagining the impossible

Time already robbed your youth, this is no fairy tale

But think about the seas you've traveled, the skies you soared

The kids you've raised, pride, yes, someone give her an applause

Crumble down the wall, back then it was a tall order

Rewind it back now and you might reconsider

But if you was her, would you merge the tools of convenience

Or entrust on dwelling sentiments, the test of patience

You see the success of the man who used to love you so much

Yet it was you who let go of that golden touch, as such

As much as I empathize with you, it's sad that it's true

He never hated you, still blessed you, he still loves you

Ain't no way you two will ever be together again

There ain't no way you can sing the songs of forever again

But deep inside in that little corner of his heart

The memories you paint is your greatest work of art

28 years later the story is retold

As I sat there listening, your hand tightly I hold

This ain't about the cling, this ain't about the gold

Seems like some things we'll never, ever let them go

If you never said, I'd probably never, ever know

Past tragedies, life's misery that you never, ever showed

Applauding your bravery, I know that I'm lucky

To be sitting right next to you as you finish this story

reminiscing about you

I know it was over the moment I penned that letter

It was nothing personal, I only hoped for the better

Why would I destroy something I worked so hard to build

But you never gave a piece about me, and that's how I feel

What I feel, my feelings intersected with aphrodisiacs

So I stepped back, tried to figure this picture, this mosaic

I was fallin' in deep, thinkin' 'bout you even in my sleep

You're the reason I keep havin' paradoxical sleeps

Walkin' down the streets thinkin' what would have been, could have been

The nicest chapters written in our lives, the world would have seen

But clearly you wasn't into it, I feel so stupid

Like an idiot, so I'm breakin' the relationship

I just couldn't handle the emotional torment

My sadness flows like the river of sentiments

While my friends sit across and laugh at the opposite

Tellin' me "I told you so, you just wouldn't hear it"

Retrospectively they were right, about bitches and life

Rewinding the scenes constantly, soon dusk turns into night

I'm wasting precious minutes of my youth reminiscing

Someone I barely knew, but memories they still cling

semester 1 shits

all the shit this semester

1. i just fucking lost a friendship

2. my grades have fucking dropped like fuck

3. fucking caught in a car accident, thought i was gonna die or some shit

(hope to sammy gets the good news that he waits for)

4. my grand-aunt is in the hospital for the nth time

5. exams are coming up and i cannot fucking pick myself up

6. nothing except one thing excites me no more

7. i'm about to lose more friendships. about to break more relationships.

8. exams are coming up and i dunno what the fuck i have learnt. at all.

still have no fucking idea what to do with this one fucking life

but i still got your love. the only thing that is keeping me together

and i keep thinking about my friends and relatives overseas.

i ain't gonna quit. i'm not a quitter

你說的我一定會實踐諾言

still writing lyrics and rapping in my fucking four walled room

so what if you think it's whack, who the fuck is you

SAME SHIT AGAIN

姨媽又住院了..

好不容易痊愈的說，現在又住院了

陸陸續續好起來又入院老天爺你覺得這樣很好玩嗎

請你不要再折磨她了好不好

我真的很難過你知道嗎

sorry. i'm sorry.

I can't believe you actually did that on me.

You're the one who needs to get the clearer picture.

I've helped you so much, and you couldn't even help do me a simple favor?

that's fucked up.

i say fuck your pretense, lies, excuses and shit

but i like you, so i might forgive if you admit

i thought we could have been real friends but god damn it

from the beginning it was one-sided friendship

i showered you my love, concern and my care

almost crossed the boundary right over there

told everyone how great you were thru' both of my eyes

and now you won't even look straight into both my eyes?

don't forget who used to give you company and help

till you became independent, easy, I could tell

get it right, you're about to lose a big asset

since i changed poles and repelled like a big magnet

you say my eyes are small like fuck, that is true

can't believe i wasted my time giving in to you

you're always the center of the attention, fair enough

but i pity those who willingly walk the same path

why they even help you, i can't know fo sure

character is embedded, there is no cure

they say you're beautiful, but that's really all there is to it

i will never STOOP so low and fall for your lame tricks

and that's it. i'm sorry that's it. no more.

enough of the ranting coz my mouth is sore

but you should hang a warning sign on your shirt

i don't want to see another person treated like dirt

in reconciliation, you better have a good reason for this.

mazeee

You say you hate your life, yeah you ain't the only one

Tired of being dragged around when you're the chosen one

It is no fun, this city is down, weary and fucked

This road is lonely, all I need really, is luck

Nowadays I only think about writing the lame rhymes

On the same lines, conjuring rhymes in the same mind

But nobody understands the pain that you go thru'

While you're wallowing in the blood veins that run so blue

Caged in four walls, barely space for you to even crawl

But no-one responds to your pathetic little bird calls

Your fall from grace is the only thing that they all laugh at

Remindin' you the fact, curiosity killed the cat

Fuck a map, fuck a trap, fuck your ex-lover's slap

Love turns hate, our emotions we need to recollect

We're lost souls, can't do it alone, we all need help

Unite the human spirit, liberate the self

我的宿命

我竟然一邊聼著這首歌，一邊留下眼淚

大白天，大男人，你哭什麽哭

相信很多人聼過孫燕姿《我不難過》、王菲《旋木》這兩首動人動聽的歌曲..

聼久了，聼了太多遍，已經對歌曲中的悲傷麻木了..

直到..

直到我今天去搜尋歌詞作家的背景和故事，我頓然愣住了，突然覺得心中的不愉快並不算什麽

From Wikipedia:

（楊明學2004年死于肺癌）

外型相當不錯的楊明學曾擔任王菲《旋木》一曲MV的男主角，此MV的女主角爲其當時女友許維恩。2009年1月前偶像團體B.A.D成員田恩沛與許維恩結婚時，在婚宴進行到新娘抛捧花時，就為其妻演唱這首已故前男友所創作的《旋木》，並對她說：“我知道這首歌對你的意義。” 讓許維恩在場衆多賓客都不僅感動落淚。

你知道每一首背後的故事嗎？我錯了..我真的錯了..

楊明學，你的人生雖然短暫，但你留給這世界很多美好的創作，將會影響很多人，甚至還是一輩子呢

寫歌詞是我的宿命，千萬千萬不能忘記

wy do i love you?

And again today I tried to be your friend.

And again tonight before you disappeared,

You didn't even say 'goodnight'.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING SAY GOODNIGHT.

I'm tired of this one-sided friendship.

Well you know what 2 more Freitags and we're done.

Haha I'm kidding. You know that I love you.

Lügen

STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME

跟劇本走

謝..我很想相信你但是以目前情況看來..有點很難置信~

或許有些事情不該讓人知道..知道了反而更氣因爲故事沒跟劇本走

但我還是要繼續努力，不辜負你對我的期待

寫歌詞是我的使命

keep or delete

Re-reading my posts.. I don't know man.

I should probably take back whatever I've written when I was depressed. I should probably delete them. I thought too much, too deep.. Truth be told, I was going insane.

But. I guess. It's all part of growing up. Even if it comes back to haunt me one day.. Oh well.

At least I'm man enough to admit I did write that stuff when I was younger.

And looking back, do you even recognize the same person who's reading this post now?

99.99% sure you won't.

自由

我給你自由~

OK TIME TO STOP READING.

READING TOO MANY CHICK LITS RECENTLY WHAT THE HELL

EASY A: Pocket Full of Sunshine Clip. Watch more top selected videos about: Cam Gigandet, Lisa Kudrow

Still remember I watched this with zhiquan and co. hahaha omg so gay.

check check!

Lol just checking, if anyone was thinking the previous post for intended anyone, WRONG.

i just need to tweek a bit to write into a verse.

great time last night

Had a great time last night, that's all that matters.

NEVER MIND

I don't think anybody believes the shit I say. but, whatever man haha.

not again

又來了. DAMN

誰都不要

MESSY I KNOW BUT THIS IS NOT FOR ANYONE THIS IS A LYRIC DRAFT LOL

我真的誰都不要.

如果有一天你真的墜入愛河，投入了別人的懷抱，我不會生氣，我會祝福你，但我也會擔心你受騙

我害怕被你遺忘，但如果真的把我忘了..就讓時間沖淡一切

如果有你偶爾的關懷，這就足夠了

只要你最低落，最需要人陪伴的時候想起我，如果還來得及，我一定會給你我最後最棒最溫暖的溫柔，最溫熱的擁抱

除了你，我誰都不要.. 我是說真的。

我是真的真的愛上了你，現在把這份感情藏起來..因爲我知道我們不可能在一起

可以當你最好最好的朋友，是我唯一的要求，很開心你沒拒絕我這個要求

我很想知道你的想法，但依目前看來.. 妳就讓我繼續喜歡妳吧

thanks for remembering me

Received a super random text from my super friendly technician friend from ns today.

Thanks jon chong, for not forgetting my existence.

Every little thing that people do for me these days.. I'm starting to appreciate them more.

I'M NEVER TAKING ANY OF THIS FOR GRANTED I SWEAR.

share the love. peace out. good night.

擁抱

“要擁抱的不是自己的愛人

那種感覺很微妙..不可解”

我就是要寫歌詞

found rhymes

She was only sixteen when we crossed this path

Ended individual relationships, consumed by this wrath

She was cute, yea, resembled the girl I swore I'd marry

But she was more like a broken-winged angel, and sadly

Walkin' thru this ghost town, a lost soul to repent

I used to ask her how she was every now and then

I loved her smiles, how she used to pretend she was okay

When deep down inside I knew how nothing was okay

She was an ugly duckling turned to the blind eye
But I predicted exactly one day she'd beautify

Turn into the beautiful swan without magic wands

Yet at that moment that moment seemed ever forlorn

They told me to stop wasting my time she ain't worth it

But I didn't want the sex, I just wanted this friendship

Only she could relate this emptiness I hide inside

She just wanted to fit in, clenching that thorn, that pride

Exchanging messages on ice-cream sticks, smile wide!

One of a kind, she harnessed and reversed the tide

Killed the darkness inside my head, inside my chest

Cure for sickness, all that I had, she was the best

We started hanging out whenever we were down

At the same time she drowned out the unhappy sounds

Suggested leaving this town, needed a change of place

And she got her wish first, left this place of rat race

What was I to do? She came from a rich family

There was no way I could have stopped this from comin'

Told me how unbearable it was, I saw it all

From the tears on the face to the fists on the wall

But I knew it was for her own good, life altering

She needed real friends, friends who'd stop her crying

Rich people are everywhere man, but she was real

She appreciated the friend I was, and that's how I feel

Man, I still remember your letters of complaint

How we hated the fact we were no longer saints

How you hated change, I know, I too I felt the same

I felt disdain, I felt the same shame and the pain

This is the city of dearth, no mines to unearth

Takes a lot of nerve for anyone to show their love

And it's been 4years since you left my side

There's so much to lose and only so much I can hide

found these rhymes again

pour me another.

Some songs are really age-specific i tell you.

They only make sense when you've hit a certain age.

And BAM! something just hits you so subtly.

play fair

hey there, you don't play fair.!

ain't there yet

we ain't there yet!

突然間

突然間好想

1、和全家人去打保齡球（很奇怪吧，因爲我根本不會打保齡球）

2、帶Angel去個漂亮的地方玩耍

3、學如何吹口琴、彈鋼琴、吉他學新歌

4、寫一本愛情小説

5、學日語

6、約個正妹一起去溜冰哈哈！

但還要想辦法存錢發大財才可以實現環游世界的夢~！

when are we going to record

I WANT TO FUCKING RECORD.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

I do not own the material as of below. I just thought it was pretty real.

早安心语：有的人，要一辈子珍惜

我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

1、有時候陽光很好，有時候陽光很暗。這就是生活。

2、過分為己，是為自私自利。完全捨我，也是虧待了一個人生靈 --- 自己。

3、女人的奮鬥目標就該是，讓以前的男人遺憾，讓現在的男人流汗，讓未來的男人稀罕。

4、你給我真心，我就給你真心。你給我未來，我就給你未來。你給我負心，我就給你巴掌。如果你足夠愛我，我一定會給予你最甜蜜、灸熱的愛。如果你不再愛我，不再珍惜我，對不起，我是個知冷知熱的真實的人，我的心會自動降溫。

5、幸福是，不會因爲走得太遠，離開太久，而忘了因何處出發、丟了曾經的堅持。

6、據説一個内心豐富的人既不害怕獨處，也不害怕人群，因爲他們可以在獨處時心中綻開大千世界，也可以在人群中保持一份恬淡清寂。

7、我就站在你面前，請不要回頭看。她是過去，而我是未來，也是永遠。

8、什麽樣的人最有魅力？答案就是：内心有力量的人。什麽叫做有内在的力量？就是遇到困難，碰上痛苦，能夠坦然與自己負面情緒相處的人。

9、我從沒被誰知道，所以也沒被誰忘記。在別人的回憶中生活，並不是我的目的。

10、選男人的標準有時很簡單，受歡迎的男人通常不是什麽好東西，因爲他們遇到的誘惑越大就越難守住愛情的專一。而大部分好男人，都是默默讀完書默默地工作，然後默默找個女朋友，最後默默地結婚生娃。雖然感情的精彩在於分合跌宕，但天長地久的真諦永遠只有兩個字：平淡。

11、如果一個人真的足夠在乎你，那麽他總能擠出時間來陪你，沒有藉口、謊言、沒有不兌現的諾言。

12、男人的自信來自一個女人對他的崇拜，女人的高傲來自一個男人對她的傾慕。永遠不要栽培你愛的男人，你把他栽培的太好，結果只有兩個：他從此看不起你活他給別人偷了。

13、憂慮並不能阻止不好的事情發生，它只能阻止你享受生活中的美好。

14、當年舟車勞頓只為與愛人片刻相依的他，一心只想把那份感情守成天長地久的他，可曾想到会有今天？愛著的時候，以爲那個人就是自己的一生，誰料到一朝夢醒，就站在了另一個人的身邊。

15、選這樣的女人做你的妻子：如果他是一個男的，你會選她作朋友。

16、所有男孩子在發誓的時候都是真的覺得自己一定不會違背承諾，而在反悔的时候也都是真的覺得自己不能做到，所以誓言这种东西无法衡量堅貞，也不能判斷對錯，它只能證明，在說出來的那一刻，彼此曾經真誠過。

17、那些嘴上對愛情不屑的人，其實才是對愛情最忠貞的信徒。

18、如果一段感情已經進入死胡同，還是越早結束越好，拖下去對大家都沒有好處。一段感情走到燈火闌珊的時候，是應該理智地把它畫上句號的時候了。

19、離開一個地方，風景就不再屬於你；一個人離開你，那人便與你無關。

20、每個人的初戀，大都十分純情。跨過了初戀，愛情就生出了很多姿態。有人風流，見一個愛一個；有人冷漠，再不會拿出真心。不是每個人，都適合與你白頭到老。有的人，是拿来成長的；有的人，是拿来一起生活的；有的人，是拿来一輩子懷念的；有的人，是要一輩子珍惜的。

Be brave. Keep movin' on y'all.

so bad!!!

I am pretty confident that I'll succeed one day, but at the moment you're way out of my league.

At first I thought I stood a chance, I thought, looking past the fact I wasn't rich, and I could be your gentleman. but then haha, I guess I lost the moment. A little jealous no doubt, but that's about it.

But I'll wait. I will wait. Until you realize my existence or.. someone who truly loves me comes along. and i've slipped by by then.

hey..

thanks gb, for every little message you send makes my day a little better.

and isa, i miss you very much. there's not a day that goes by without me thinking how you are doing over in sunny australia.

thanks cheryl, for wanting my friendship so bad. you say what's passed has passed, but i keep thinking what a bastard i was. and i'm just glad i'm a somebody in ur life.

thanks to my sister, for always making my day. for always showing me the delight in the simplicity of life.

thanks angel, for the smile i see every morning when i wake up and when i get back home. you're getting so beautiful with each day you age.

thanks mum, for i wouldn't be here if you hadn't grit your teeth and suffer. 'there is no progress without struggle'!

and of course, thanks dad. it hurts me so much to see you working your ass off every day just to keep this family going. it ain't easy, and sometimes it may seem like a real lonely road.. but.. i really don't know what else i can do. all i see is you going to work so unhappy every day. when will a nice and understanding boss realize how awesome an engineer my dad is? he's one of a kind. your loss you didn't hire him. sucks to be under-appreciated when you've given all you've got for this fucking company.

untitled

Money can't buy you happiness, everybody knows that

But some people have it as their sole motivation to rap

I can't tell you what it really is, but one thing I promise

There's not a single night I sleep without reminisce

There's not a single day I don't think about you

There's not a single pay I collect that is due

There's not a single day I contemplate what's the truth

It's every single day that I articulate, that's the proof

These days I wonder why material welfare is up

At the same time non-material welfare is fucked

Wealth breathers, supposed to make our lives easier

The numbers are up, we're supposed to be happier

Instead whines get louder, we deserve more than this state

You bred greed in the people, now we want a bigger cake

Fourth branch of the government try to confuse you

More immediate suicides but subsequent numbers fell to

Lower than previous years before the Great Depression

People saw life more than just material acquisition

People got thru shit together, now it seems forever

Since the obsession with time, dime, sex and notes

Mentality shifts, callously history is rewrote

To benefit who? We are shown the glamorous youths

With the blings shining in the four-walled booths

We shout beiber! but why and for how long? We know neither

做好自己

其實..幹嘛那麽在乎別人怎麽想，幹嘛那麽care別人生活過的怎麽多姿多彩，幹嘛那麽在意人家的新生活如何？只要做好自己的本份就好了不是嗎？

想通了！

wy

I think after this academic year I promise I will never start a conversation with you again. wy? i dunno.

yo I miss my past

And I can't provide you with diamond rings, I can't give you the life you want, I can't be that Prince 'charming' that you look for, I can't flirt like how guys that you like do, I can't pretend to be who I am not.

But I can serenade you with tunes every day, every moment I swear.

I can be your friend, I will do anything for you on any day I promise.

AND LOL I'M NOT SULKING HAPLAPBLAHBLUBLAH *input some gibberish garbage in here*

why does eminem's chorus resonate so suddenly

To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS

gah this philosophy is making me think deeper and deeper

hurry up!

can't wait for this semester to fucking end.

hello are you there

hello are you there

I missed how you always asked me for company for whatever reason it was. How you always looked for me as a source of inspiration, as a source of help, as a source of entertainment. We talked almost every day about every thing from your worries to your childhood to your hobbies, to your friends to your love life. I can't deny that I enjoyed that. But then you became independent, you had your new friends, you went on with your life, and I was soon forgotten.

I only existed when you needed something. Like a staircase for you to fucking step.

But it's alright. I'ma still hold on to my values CHYEAH :D

“或許妳會有一天懷念，可是我已不在..”

till next time

4 stories. part 4 will come.. when I feel like it.

Today I feel so happy I don't feel like penning down any frustration of any sort.

Oh well. Back to work (project) tmr!

tschüss!

Guten Nacht, Welt!

4 stories. part 3.

Smile of the week. the month i think.

Was walking home from White Sands today with my earpieces plugged in.

On the way home there was this mother cycling back home with loads of stuff in the basket.

Too many stuff perhaps. She lost control of her bike and fell, and with it, all her stuff dropped onto the floor. Seeing she was struggling, I went over to help while she picked herself up.

Turns out her boy cycled so fast that she was lost control of her bike trying to catch up with him.

So anyways, she kept thanking me until even I felt so paiseh. I just gave her a smile and I got a really big and wide one in return :) she even wished me good night. awww.

And I felt so happy for the rest of the night.

4 stories. part 2.

Went over to starbucks@yih today.

Walked past a few people playing guitars and geez i just thought of leeleng.

We used to talk about playing guitar together sometime after ord.

But it never materialized. I gave him a text and geez did I realise how much I actually miss a lot of people.

Haven't met you guys for a long time. Hope you guys are doing alright.

Please take care :]

4 stories. part 1

After reading gb's post I feel so blessed to have a loving family like mine.

People often ask me, how is it possible my family's so attached to my taiwan relatives when they're so far away from us. And then they ask me about my sg relatives and while i must admit while i'm close to some of them, the same can't be said about all of them.

I FEEL SO BLESSED. I LOVE MY TW RELATIVES.

We aren't rich, we're just well to do.

Lemme first talk about my uncle. Someone I truly admire and respect a lot.

My uncle owns a ramen stall and his stall's pretty renowned in taipei. he's made a name for himself without the use of gimmicks, without any financial support from nobody. without paying to get on tv.. nothing. he made it from scratch.

Probably the wisest person I know, he always shares with me his views on politics, history, the injustices in the world, his knowledge. I admire his courage to face reality - I'm telling his story from my point of view. The biggest factor that attributed to his decision to start a business himself, was because he couldn't get a job elsewhere. Blacklisted by the government (then, taiwan was governed under martial law) for writing anti-government articles and materials, he couldn't find anybody that would want to recruit him. So he told himself he was gonna get out of this mess himself. My grandparents wanted to help him - but he insisted on doing it alone. He's a humble man who doesn't brag, but I know how much he went through just to get to where he is today. And he ain't getting carried away. He appreciates life as it is, he dotes on us kids a lot and for that, I can't thank him enough.

He shows unconditional love for every single one of my cousins, whether they were his biological kids or not (yes, he married a widow, and till today I smile every time they hold hands in public. it's been so many years since they're married, and geez it's so sweet they're more in love with each other today than before). He does spoil his granddaughter a little too much, but I'm sure one day she'll grow up and appreciate the nice family she has :)

As much as guys are attracted to hot chicks and hot chicks are fooled into falling for flirts and players.. I will be that scholar that hopefully one day someone who sees that in me would love me for being who I am. My dream is to marry someone who loves me so much that I will do anything for her on any day. I don't need a festival, a day or an occasion to show you how much I missed you. I don't need birthdays to give you a present, to offer you my friendship. I don't need a reason to help you. That's my uncle's philosophy (as well as my relatives) and I will carry on this tradition.

And as for my other relatives..

Hmm. I think the biggest difference in the treatment is.. They only care about what I achieve, and not what I didn't. They didn't care if I did well in school, if I was disrespected, looked down upon as a kid in school (all these were true when I was in primary school). When us kids are back, they're just happy to see us. I mean, they do encourage us to do well in school, and praise us whenever we do nice things for them. That's all I ever need. And instead of asking how us kids are doing in school, they ask about our well-being.. Things like our love-relationships, our friends, our hobbies, and they're always keen to know more about our lives. And it's been like that since young.

This has a lot to do with how close my mum is to their siblings. They're so close that often, they provide emotional support for one another. My aunt (before my aunt had kids herself) and uncle used to take care of us when we were kids, and now, it's my mum (and our) turn to take care of them now that we have the capabilities to do so.

Call it traditional, but I like how every conversation starts with “吃飽了沒？” A simple, yet heart-felt greeting. Whatever happened to this culture? Bringing you back to my early days in secondary school, in desperation to get into shape, I started hating food. All I ever wanted to do was to lose weight, to look good. I succeeded, getting to a record low of 58kg when my height was 175. Insane right? And I was still trying to lose weight.

And when I went back to Taiwan everyone got a shock.. But something changed when my cousin told me this: 能吃就是福. and come to think of it.. yes it is. I see kids elsewhere in the world starving, and here I am, submitting myself to this anorexic standard of beauty. Subsequently, I grew out of this foolish behavior and began to appreciate the food placed on the table. Appreciate what you've got, and never waste food that others can only dream of having.

I shan't go too much into the details, but umm. just wanted to say maybe the attitudes are so different. i feel so foreign to my sg relatives (not all, of course, but most). My tw relatives love me, dote on me, guide me, and try to show me what life is really about, what a family should be like. One of my cousins used to be really passionate about the horoscopes and zodiac signs, I guess that's why I became someone so interested in such stuff too. In fact, I believe in some parts of it. Are our fates destined? I don't know, but it seems my character seems to resemble what was assigned to me. Sometimes I hope I could be someone different, but, however hard I try, it seems I still breathe and live the cancer values.

At night sometimes I think about the good times we had. How my cousin used to bring my brother and I to her workplace to play while her boss was away haha! how she always told us bed time stories when we were kids.. how she always brought us around and showed us the city. how my aunts and uncles never punished us for our mischief. In retrospect I think my development as an individual (in fact, for my siblings as well) owes a lot to them. I wouldn't be half the person I am if it wasn't for their guidance. I was a teen full of angst, but never once had they given up hope on me. and the occasional calls.. i don't know. sometimes i just wanna cry. i owe them so, so much.

I feel for gb, I know what he means by 'that kind' of people. People change, but, what the fuck is that small achievement they've/ their kids' got? There's always gonna be people better than you out there. Don't judge people.

But erm, on one part I cannot agree is that, no matter how much I detest a person, I will still make that effort to greet him/ her. After all, my not acknowledging of his existence will only pit me at the same low-class-ness as that person. Even if people don't acknowledge your existence, show that you acknowledge theirs. Doesn't take much to take that, right?

A little disorganized, I just wrote whatever came to me.

and oh, this is in no way a diss to the sg relatives that I love too. I'm just saying in general.

but stop comparing achievements. 人比人比死人!

4 stories today.

4 stories i'm gonna share today.

1. one is my version of the story that gb just posted about an hour ago.

then i'm gg to walk my dog and then come back to finish the others :)

2. about my message to leeleng. havent met him in a while i wonder how he is.

3. about one of the most sincerest smiles i've seen in a while :D

4. the last one will be on my recent frustration. probably gonna write it as a lyric or smth.

一輩子

也不知道爲什麽，但我想我會等你一輩子..

But haha I'm quite sure 10 years down the road I'll look back on this post and be asking wtf i was thinking haha. but atm i'm insanely drawn by you.

end of histor-ray

The dawn sets upon us, it's a new era

We've fought the wars dragged by the feet traveled in horror

Tired, lethargic and hungered, resources are exhausted

They say we're fighting for patriotism, but didn't we cause it?

Dictated by the circle of life, lives flowin' in circles

I'm sure 90% of this society don't even know what they're into

Apotheosis of praetors, those who rebel are traitors

Time ticks off the guillotine, silenced berated haters

Evidence! Pictures speak more than words in sentences

Pullin' his hair, Voltaire wonders where is their common sense

Nowadays we all want freedom, what an oxymoron

Magnify under microscopes and you will see what is wrong

why do i care?

but why do i care?

wait some more, make some wars

It's obvious time is running out, need I shout it out

But I'd keep quiet, not loud, what ya hollerin about

I'm tryin' to make my iris, pupils and mind concentrate

Last grains of sand, disequilibrium, it's all but too late!

Another date, another day I see the last shines of rays

I'm tryin' to forget what happened today, yesterday

But it only gets harder each day, I'm trying to stay awake

Give me another plate of lost passion you tried to emulate

Pour me another, so I can forget this addiction

Pour me another, so I can regret this attraction

Who really needs the gears and teeth, mutual interaction

Who really needs the fear, turned leaves, special intervention

Birds sing why the caged I know, chirps away the show

Freezin' snows, white flakes follow, she wouldn't let me go

I will wait, I will wait, I will wait and wait some more

Till memories, feelings, my heart, my mind make some wars

There's angels among us.

Some are just asleep.

Atmospheric conditions, climatic situations.

fightin for scraps

I was destined to be next-in-line, the king

But now I'm losing interest in almost everything

While the rest of humanity is fighting for scraps

I'm just sitting, watching this fights among cats

I might as well reincarnate as a filthy rat

Scurryin' down the sewers to avoid attacks

But I'm a man, I do not cower in the face of danger

I'ma stand up proud and strong to face these strangers

Life phases in stages, they pin me down in pages

They try to kill me emotionally with images

In this age we anticipate the apocalypse

And with this rage I predicate the fucking red lips

The eclipse, great sips on this cup of coffee, my tea

Opaque as hell but my reflection is all that I see

Weird to y'all but it makes complete sense to me

While y'all faggots can keep being wannabes

I want to see the end of time, humanity panics

And all we see is similarities, although distinct

And we no longer see ourselves as Asians or Hispanics

When hypocrites stop saying shit that contradicts

My pet.

These days I observe our dog a little more.

She's just so beautiful..

So beautiful, ain't she?

mental bewilderness.

Mental bewilderness

I woke up from another one fucked up night

I'm huggin' onto the poster with me holdin' the mic

You can't always get what you want

Somethings will always remain a dream, you fuckin' cunt

I'm fallin' thru the cracks on the ground

But with wings I flew, soarin' like supersonic sounds

Up, up, up and away, I'm sorry I can't stay

To watch you grow, but thanks by the way

For the way your love was unconditional

They forget each birth was a miracle

Yet some can't wait to throw it away

Lost like a pin needle in stacks of hay

But I, can empathize with the struggle

I can minimize the puzzle, with the bubble

About to burst, it's in danger, endangered

Hungered scavengers, paper peacemakers

Fuckin' fakers need to vanish from surface of earth

Run and never return to this turf of ours

Lyrically dark themed, conniving dark schemes

You only need words and thoughts on your team

assdigydaigdfoighosajolawdugpojnmerglzmjgjtogbjm'fgpkjh[0yrh

arigato

Thanks kinetik, thanks aidan, thanks cheryl for always being there for me. Thanks gb for hearing me out. thanks vlad for that enlightening conversation.

Thanks to my family. Singapore or Taiwan, y'all have never let me down. NEVER, EVER.

These fuckin' 3, 4 years is just a small stepping stone. get the fuck out of the way.

And for those who don't respect me, haha, it doesn't matter because I know so many others who do, and those who truly cherish me. And my love for them is greater than you can ever imagine.

If I happen to neglect you sometimes, please forgive me. There's just too many things to do. But I never, ever forget the times you've rendered me help. And for that I appreciate.

When I help a friend/ family, I don't expect anything in return. That should be the way it is. That is my principle. But at least show some appreciation. Don't EVER take anyone for granted.

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I only exist when you need something."

and the city shall live to see another day. an achievement in itself.

got my back

Lately I feel like I've let myself down

Too much complainin', squeekin' and whiny sounds

I didn't mean for shit to happen this way

Didn't even mean a single thing that I said

I hit a new all time low for no reason

I was going insane, sinkin' into depression

My friends were slowly leavin' me one by one

Moved on with their lives, having their own fun

In contrast I was fallin' behind in academics

Strugglin' to adapt, I was strugglin' to fit

In a place people didn't know you exist

Still hovering in horizons, into the abyss

But haha I feel so happy today

For some weird ass reason I cannot say

I remember why I was here in the first place

To educate the entire human race

No matter how limited my knowledge might be

I will keep learning and teaching ambitiously

There goes another episode of wasted time

I'll work hard, hope this will be the very last time

I ever let my loved ones down, I miss y'all that's true

Still remember the promises I made to you

Seems like yesterday I was in my super S outfit

Tight fitting, laughed and mocked, a super fat kid

A super fat pampered kid, got a culture shock

My dad's company went broke from plummeted stocks

Adult's talk, I never understood the politricks

But we could no longer afford what we used to eat

But all that is over, the sky is clear again

Kept the stain till this day, it's ingrained in my brain

Remindin' me nothing came easy, appreciate that

Remember what it was like writing your first rap?

Eh yo,

Fuck you, you and you and fuck you too!

hhaa motherfuckin' doubters.

and to my friends, thanks for the nice conversations, i think i've got my drive back.

Be careful

I just wanted a little bit..

Just a little bit.

Ha, I don't even know what I'm saying.

i will still come back home.

Really need to migrate overseas to work on this.

Problems will persist, i'll be homesick but I think I have to.

But i'll still come back home.. or homes.

Who will be the ones to stick with u till the end of time?

Outoflove

Ich bin alles aus Liebe

being nice never pays.

Ok that's it. I'm exhausted.

So much is at stake I need to regain some rationality.

Some people are not worth your time, you know you've just gotta purge them, you've just gotta ignore them.

But as a gentleman deep down I can't do that. Whether you a guy or a girl, I've tried to be nice. I've tried.

But being nice never pays.

I know if you're just taking advantage of me. I know if you're the kind of person who'd only talk to me when you need help. I know if I'm just your stepping board.

I know, I know.

SCHOOL.

"Black clothes, blank stare, dyed hair

You could die tomorrow and nobody would care"

SUNSHINE

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE IN MY HANDS

the city part 2

The city is full of people but noone knows you

Money and sex the things they relate to

They want to see what's real, what they can touch and feel

The world is fucked, and that's how I feel

I got ten million reasons to kill

Got ten millions items for me to steal

I am travelling on the road to riches

Mercenary as fuck, fuckin' bitches

But at the end of the day still empty as fuck

Truth be told, I never tried to sneak a touch

On dollar bills and butts, I guess I never will

Fit into your fuckin' system against my own will

Somebody once preached "God loves Ugly"

But the way I see it, I can guarantee

It's not a virtue anymore, it's kicked out the door

Withstanding the stampede as I lie on the floor

the city

The city streets glitter in the city of lights

While the poor struggle to survive another night

Where the day starts with signals of rooster calls

Here we are the animals, I say fuck a rooster call

In the morning we're back to our cage with four walls

Aimless and mindless waiting for the night to fall

The party begins so it's time for bottles to pour

Overdose, on the streets these bodies start to crawl

The ragged looks on in the same envious glances

Wondering what rendered them their circumstances

What you can afford in a night is gold in their eyes

They could do more with that money than spending on ice

It's a crack habit, a bad habit for the rabids

But how can you blame on the pampered kids

Censored from the realest pictures ever captured

They just consumers of what they manufacture

Out of mind, out of sight even in broad daylight

How the fuck you expect them to have a foresight?

Livin' like graphs till the x and y axes collide

Infecting earth like a motherfucking parasite

The city is full of people but noone knows you

'cause money and cents - the only things they relate to..

ok back to sleep now

Liar, liar~

You don't deserve my friendship, go eat shit

Your words are lies that paradoxically contradict

Pinning all blames on everything else is a crime

And you're a hypocrite bemoaning the lack of time

Your friendship will never be mine, and I'm cool wit it

You only need me when you need a fuckin' sidekick

So if I had a wand I'd cast away this memory

Have it vanished to the bottom of the sea

I'm not even askin' for a favor to return

'cause true friendships will survive even third degree burns

On platonic ones, I understand skepticism

But baby, don't treat me like I'm a fucking demon

These men don't really give a fuck if you're pregnant

They only mission is to spread semen, but I'm different

I ain't a feminist but them girls need to beware

Or be left in the cold when you're hungry and scared

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I LOVE YOU

To families and friends

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I MISS YOU.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody"

It's an old book but it totally echoes my current state of thought.

Who doesn't get frustrated when life is bullshit

And it doesn't play out the way that you want it

Fuck it, let me state all the worries I possess

Not enough love, not enough friends and not enough cash

Not enough hugs, not enough bitches to show my love

But I don't let media fool me thinking there is true love

And every page states minimum wage in this fucking cage

Short-sighted faggots can't envision the future image

Where alienation's gonna hit you harder than you think

That's the reason there is no water in the kitchen sink

I feel like a loser and things only gets sorer

It gets worse when your pockets feel lighter without dollars

Struggles of the poor, turned behind by blind eyes

Suddenly I have a dream of catching the ryes

Too often I have a problem with my hermetic self

Can't let go of the hook I cling onto since age twelve

Pictorial signs that dictate personal profiles

Sentimental minds that dilate critical smiles

So when I grab the mic I grab it tight, I grab it right

Never forgetting those who shone the light in the darkest nights

I remember when I was just a kid with no worries

But memories seem so distant I wonder if that kid was me

Raised by a driven dad and a loving mum

But still dependent on them at age twenty one

Passin' life, I went to school, crossing boundaries

Determined not to let anyone see the real side of me

But I understand that ain't gonna get me far

People get defensive after they sustain a scar

Not willing to open up to people, are they

But reality and truth can't match, they say

You just gotta live with it, through the fog and the mist

And hope one day eternal bliss really exists

But for now that day shall remain a beautiful dream

Where the patch of grass will glow a pasture green

Chances are slim, but that don't mean it won't happen

Meanwhile you can fight till the sun is burnt

Till day turns night till the death of zeitgeist

When nothing matters, fuck the times you memorized

When you were mesmerized, by the person next to you

And you realize I was the only person who was true

I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY THAT I LOVE YOU.

“憂鬱..那可有可無的道具”

像一陣透明微風 給你絕對的寬容
當你的淚如泉湧 我是你的垃圾桶

Win > Lose

Treated like shit, so I had to be explicit

Thrown the shit off my chest and take off the heat

But understand I'm made of soft tissues, not concrete

So wipe off some of the dust off your double eye-lids

Love turns hate, as it degrades, and degenerate

To the inner soul of the body it penetrates

Let me set it straight against the destine of fate

cause, "I'm on my way so don't close that gate"

And as I stand here upon my script of life

Wonderin' if I could have done shit different in life

But haha, you only get one shot in this game of life

So I took the chance and spoke my mind.. last night.

And I wonder if 'sie' even cares anymore

But what I saw, und sie kümmert sich nicht mehre

And if that's the case then the case is closed

'cause you have won more than I have ever 'lows-ed'

surpression

Need to sleep. I think I'll be fine tonight.

insomnia

I'm sufferin' from insomnia these sleepless nights

Cruisin' thru' days with amnesia in broad day light

Forgot how I got here, forgot how I got fear

Forgot how I ended up with this bottle of beer

Devils puppetin' this fuckin' body with strings

But they don't understand the pain it brings, it stings!

you must be blinded

YOU ARE FUCKING BLIND! OMG.

before i'm gone

Everybody can see.. except you.

How come!

haha just fooling around. piss off!

But a number..

Our lives are so degraded, with memories that are faded

Try to erase it 'cause we hate it, with pain that is abated

Dilated opticals when we see belated miracles

But seeing is not always true, give credit where it is due

I'm sufferin' bruises from the war that was fought with blood

Against the heavens from shores that was shot with floods

God cannot hear the, or see the, real motives of believers

Oblivious and the ignorant, they try to deceive them

Under the false consciousness implanted by the government

Sticks of carrots, and opiates of the masses - religion

People need to open their eyes wider, not just the Asians

Do you really believe what they say about foreign investments?

In the system of the capitalist, the workers emerge

They came with empty pockets, so they were happy at first

Until one day they grew disgruntled with the second class treatment

They came to revolt, wanted to make a bold statement

But were too self-interested to even keep it real

Bought over by monetary appeals, they just couldn't stay true

Sucked into the vortex of a vacuum, they were simply consumed

See, these consumers are the real products being consumed

So give them a room for them to wallow in their sorrow

In the darkest nights, no promises you'll see tomorrow

You need a dollar to borrow? But money doesn't exist

You're hallucinated, believin' the value it promises

But the bottom line is this: it is dehumanizing

With all their might they will try to quantify every single thing

From money, to time, to the total human population

From monkeys, to swines, we all have identifications

You are dispensable, nothing more than just a number..

五月天3DNA

你提醒了我..

我最最最初的夢想

追夢。2012年09月18日

contracts

So I went on with my life, the college and the bullshit

Only to realize his words were true, college's full of misfits

Scam, fraud, it's so fucking fake, you're so fucking fake

Making you my friend was my number one mistake

It's true, in certain aspects I gained some respect

But bounded by the clauses once you ink the contract

Who's to say what, who's to say how, got the speaking rights

But on repeat I chose to keep my lips shut tight

One day she'll understand the path I chose to take

Why do I have to plead to the Hedonist's sake?

On a separate issue..

I got a friend who's strugglin' with depression

Thru the days and the nights I think of solutions

But the thoughts sank deeper, I fell into the equation

That summed up like a vortex situation

Disjointed hands cling onto the elapse of time

But uplifted heads prevent the relapse of minds

just a few points i had to say.

there is no 'i'

Putting on a false front, she'll never understand

Diffusion into mainstream, the ordinary man

Big shoes to fill, but they shrunk over the years, until

He was reduced to pursuing the cheap dollar bills

All he ever wanted in life was pursuing his dream

But assimilation entails taking one for the team

Coffee shop revolutionaries talk about 'the life'

Escapism entices when competition is rife

When it comes to imagery they are visionary

But unworthy when it comes to reality

The last fours decades wasted on breathing, he spent

Always wondering where the fuck the days went

The years wear on and soon enough he too will be gone

Not quite finished yet but it'll be too late for her to mourn

When you grasp the definition of vulnerable

The delusional will have the truth smacked in opticals

It's 1am in the morning..

Meaningless wars

"They're out there being slaughtered

In meaningless wars so you don't have to bother"

That's why we all should know politics.

getthefuckout

Okay you know what, that's it with sad emo songs

From the moment I wrote that last shit I knew I was wrong

Used to envision my poetry raising awareness

But all I ever write these days is expressing sadness

Something changed inside of me, I got a little softer

From the days when I thought raps only evoked anger

When it taught me to rap gangsta, I developed the opposite

Stop the violence in hip hop, I believed in that shit

And I'd like to believe that I do know something

But Socrates taught me to see that I only know nothing

And that was the thing, I couldn't sing so I rapped

Till this day I still love spittin', rhymin' and word attack

Fallin' in love with every single rhyme I hear

But too many distortions and discourses, they appear

I keep side-trackin' but shit's still gonna be done

There's battles to handle but the war's still there to be won

Give me refund, of my failed emotional investments

Emotive words in statements, evoke the sentiments

For every rhyme I write I'm responsible for

I'd echo it across the fucking audible walls..

ok fuck i still have german to study and assignments to do.

simply no time for emotional troubles. get the fuck out.

onthetrain 020911 afternoon

This emotion is too much to take, it's intricate
The way my emotions intertwine and twist, it's delicate
Complicated, you cannot separate a man from his soul
And you cannot castigate the way that I flow
As the story is told I'm drownin' in powdered water
Ain't nobody to save me except me, the fact of the matter
Is that nobody can hold my reigns even if I'm tied to chains
Only text-type sad faces can express them in plain
I ask myself why do I have to put myself thru' this shit
I'm a grown man I'm supposed to manipulate the shit
Not the other way round, fuck the emo elements
The roots causes, jealousy and envy in resonance
To anyone in similar positions this is my suggestion
Don't ever let ur feelings mix into the equation
Regret you didn't fuckin' show your intentions, affections
I'm not saying I'm in the worst possible scenario
But it sucks to live in another man's shadow
Someone you don't even know, motherfuckin' raptures
I will motherfuckin' capture, emerge from the stature
Just to prove he a player, and I know you know it
From the fiery depths of hell, I will blow it, just so I show it
But this pen is my the form in which I express best
That's why I wrote this shit to get it off my chest
So fuck the pandora box and the maiden who opened it
For I am the man who's out grown this head. I condoned it
They say men are visual creatures but I beg to differ
Cause I'm the living proof good still exists in the world
My eyes are small but my vision's better than most faggots
The best dressed whenever I put on straight leathered jackets..

喜新厭舊

People getting lost in their small little worlds they ignore the little nice things in life..

Including the people around them.

喜新厭舊

Stress and Politricks

And the stress keeps piling on top of my head

I'm motivational, that's what the letter said

But instead, this pressure is starting to spread

All over my body, my shoulder starts to crack

The mass' too real for this physique to undertake

An alternate thought for me to contemplate

I'm burning under the rays of infra-red

The brain is porous so you can easily infiltrate

But that will never be me - I'm a man of my own

And you will get shot if you try to steal my throne

So you better be gone if you still deliberate

This is not for those who can't focus or concentrate

Off to bed before the boogieman awakes

Got this technique you cannot berate or actuate

Translate: I murder offensive castigators,

You fucking morons, biters and alligators

Never wrote shit in a day of their lives

But try to put me at mercy of the knife

All I feel is strife when injustice is rife

Politricks fucking up our quality of life

barely known.

Perhaps some regret over the invitation.

But like my friend, I like these 2 lines the best.

Open-minded, but never the type to make the moves

I'm the shy type, so when it comes to love I always lose

And it's obvious that everyone can see that

You're oblivious to even the sight of my back

I can only blame myself for being soft-hearted

Always kept low profile since the day I departed

I think you need a pair of new eye contacts

You're too young you develop eye cataracts

Your vision is parallax, small eyes see wider

You need to set your targets a little higher

Than your associated height, my future is bright

But we're always short-term minded, right?

Better than that

Seriously, who do you think gives a FUCK about you

Who the fuck are you!

You need to get a grip, you need to avoid distractions.! Just settling down but so many challenges are ahead. And you don't even know shit that's going on lol.

Don't let someone else affect who you are. You are the master of your own mind!

And you can only rhyme sentences, that's it. You need to be better than that.

fear and quiver!

Is this excitement, or is this just fear

I am enthralled, but did I just quiver?

The unknown stares straight at me in the eye

'cause I never knew the definition of being fly

So I try, I try and I keep trying harder

For every second it makes me grow weaker

But my soul has never left this magic lantern

Lamp, whatever, but it scorches inside, it burns

I feel trapped, suffocated within the corners

No matter how hard you try you'll never get better

Than this stubborn old piece scrap of metal

It refuses to budge, it is the toughest material

It protects me from the outside, that's right

But I no longer want to be kept safe inside

The crab has to leave its shell someday

Gotta find a better home for him to stay

Gotta find a better date, find a better mate

Find money, cash, food to put on the plate

Some people like to think I'm oh-so fake

But I say fuck 'em, I elate as they gape..

come back.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to this pen, this notebook, this laptop. I'm sorry to my friends. I'm sorry to myself.

But tomorrow morning I'll be okay and I'll be back to my ways.

I don't want to live like this.

Hope things are going well for you inside, bro.

But outside here, things are no less difficult. Been stuck here on this page thinking of verses and rhymes I used to write.. But fuck! Maybe they were shit in the first place.

Where are my bars.? Come back, I need you. To remind me why I'm even studying this in the first place.

Please. remind zen not to get distracted. think about the people you've got to answer for. think about yourself.

gay rhymes

Gay rhymes

It's a dangerous attempt, probably my one and only chance

But I think I blew it tonight, displaying too much pretense

On hindsight it might have been better with a direct pursuit

But you couldn't skip foreplay to go to the interlude

It doesn't usually work that way, how the game is played

Showering compliments, praise bombardments like air raid

Then you go on to tell her how you really feel about her

That ain't my demeanor, casting my doubts about her

I admit, I got into it thinkin' I could stir some shit

The closer I got the more I couldn't do runs and hits

Thinking I got the skills to impress, except I couldn't dress

Striking out at tests, let me try sparking your interest

新的開始

I feel like a traitor already.

I'm losing my identity, but I'm not about to give up yet.

This is the 21st Century, you don't need a paper or a book to demonstrate your love.

29 JULY 2011.

一個新的開始

ha, smileys, ha

The language I speak is in the form of smileys and laughters

cause and effect

I don't think it's fair that I be contributing shit towards the cause when 2, 3 years back then YOU GUYS DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US.

You left the beginners to struggle, and I was the one who was there to help them. While you guys just stuck to your own little social enclaves like you gave a fuck about the rest.

And as I speak, I know y'all probably don't even acknowledge my existence.. but haha that's fine by me. But you guys going around asking for help (and to help publicize), you can forget about it.

So, the next event is coming up, and if I do turn up, I'll be turning up for the sake of this one good pal I have. That's it. Not because I support the cause. 'cause y'all aint worth shit.

shinigamis and apologies

Shinigamis..

And suddenly the thought of death is somehow bestowed on me.. maybe through the most ridiculous dreams I've ever had.. Or perhaps it's the "Death Note" mangas I've been reading.

I don't care if I'm gonna die first. The only thing I wish is to have met you earlier.

All of a sudden my life seems so packed. There's this sudden anxiety about going back to school and you know, being put into a whole brand new institution. Well, not entirely new but after these 2 years, think many will be nervous to some extent.

This is the last chance man. I've gotta do it. Persevere for 3,4 years. No more excuses.

And damn. I want to do my music too. I want to travel. I want to be with my family, I want to see my relatives, I want to stick around with my friends. And maybe it's so true that I cling onto things too much, too often. Gotta learn to let go.

But motherfuckers you don't understand the magnitude, the severity of this shit.

And lol on a side note, think I've gotta learn to let go of that pride and learn to apologize. But I really didn't feel as though I made any contact at all. But since it's been proven that you've hurt yourself in the process, I'm sorry I wasn't the one who apologized first.

Basic German!

Let's learn some basic German! :)

Counting Numbers in German:

eins (ighnss)
2	zwei (tsvigh)
3	drei (drigh)
4	vier (feer)
5	fünf (fuunf)
6	sechs (zekhs)
7	sieben (ZEE-ben)
8	acht (ahkht)
9	neun (noyn)
10	zehn (tsayn)
11	elf (elf)
12	zwölf (tsvoolf)
13	dreizehn (DRIGH-tsayn)
14	vierzehn (FEER-tsayn)
15	fünfzehn (FUUNF-tsayn)
16	sechzehn (ZEKH-tsayn)
17	siebzehn (ZEEP-tsayn)
18	achtzehn (AHKH-tsayn)
19	neunzehn (NOYN-tsayn)
20	zwanzig (TSVAHN-tsikh)
21	einundzwanzig (IGHN-oont-tsvahn-tsikh)
22	zweiundzwanzig (TSVIGH-oont-tsvahn-tsikh)
23	dreiundzwanzig (DRIGH-oont-tsvahn-tsikh)
30	dreißig (DRIGH-sikh)
40	vierzig (FEER-tsikh)
50	fünfzig (FUUNF-tsikh)
60	sechzig (ZEKH-tsikh)
70	siebzig (ZEEP-tsikh)
80	achtzig (AHKH-tsikh)
90	neunzig (NOYN-tsikh)
100	(ein)hundert ([ighn]-HOON-dert)
200	zweihundert (TSVIGH-hoon-dert)
300	dreihundert (DRIGH-hoon-dert)
1000	(ein)tausend ([ighn]-TOW-zent)
2000	zweitausend (TSVIGH-tow-zent)
1,000,000	eine Million (igh-nuh mill-YOHN)
1,000,000,000	eine Milliarde (igh-nuh mill-YAR-duh) Note the difference to American English numbers, often wrong translated!
1,000,000,000,000	eine Billion (igh-nuh bill-YOHN)

half	halb (hahlp)
the half	die Hälfte (dee HELF-tuh)
less	weniger (VAY-nihg-er)
more	mehr (mayr)

Distractions.

You know you shouldn't but you are!

Getting distracted lol.

hypnosis

I developed the powers, the linguistic prowess

Now it's the only thing I've got, so I devour

They can try to take my material objects

As the connection between soul and body disconnects

Limitless mental capacity, I pursue

Till the death of the grim I know I'll pull it through

Hypnos is what makes you sleep, Thanatos at chimes

I'm the Baku, so when you sleep you don't dream at times

And at times the sleep is heavy you aren't ready

Defence against the dark arts no you can't savvy

Or catch the glimpse or the wink, as the battleship sinks

You are your own master, 'cause you are what you think..

walk the walk

And the world will look upon me like the death monster

When the girls look upon me like I'm the play master

I'm the great thinker, a late sleeper and a date keeper

Possessing the oracle, traits of the late cancer

And when the world blows me away they can thank me for this

Predicament, prophets, integrity and the abyss

The almighty world is at mercy of my fingertips

Make the ants and the bees play to the rules that I keep

They say death and sleep are like cousins, so they don't sleep

But I say fuck deaths and sleeps 'cause the city doesn't sleep

Dancing with the devil till the wee hours of each night

So death must be embedded within broad daylights

See the problem is we submit to death readily

The mind is more vulnerable than you think, irony

Lies between the lines we see in statements, declaration

Yet the subconscious refuses to admit the addiction

What do we see? What do we perceive? What do we believe?

Deliberate faith or the tricks up the magician's sleeve

I can sit here all day and talk gibberish talk

But when it comes to the walk you still have to walk the walk

old writtens

Getting all the unwanted attention in this town

But I guess everyone's just attracted to this clown

Need to get the fuck up, and get the fuck down

Exercise is the only way to shed those pounds..

Tell my aunt that she should be proud of the way she's raised her kids

I know how hard it is on a mother who's been through all that shit

Married to a lazy husband she doesn't want to acknowledge

Leo, hunger for that pride she cannot distort that clean image

Tell her how beautiful her two kids are, bright like shining stars

How they resemble the younger I, look how chubby they are

How they can be so carefree like I was back in the days

People tell them to stop eating but happy they should stay

Tell the food nutritionist to shut the fuck up, they know nothing

About the human soul that makes this chicken soup we drinking

How it cleanses our blood and makes us better individuals

That we should live to the fullest, there might be no tomorrow

And tell the doctors who refute the fundamental medicals

To keep workin' hard and prove they be thinking logical

The layman only trusts in the mainstream information

But never understood how that shit is prescribed education

Supergirl

[Verse 1]

Looking for a girl I can marry to be my wife

It's like a classic fairy tale played in my life

I met a girl who's a couple of years younger

Non-believer of love at first sight, so I looked over

But who was to know what I was missing in the first place

I was blinded to your angelic face, in the love race

Open-minded, but never the type to make the moves

I'm the shy type, so when it comes to love I always lose

Girl we're like the couple made in heaven, give this a listen

From the same land we in the same story, the same tandem

I can see so much in common between the two of us

Felt an instant connection the moment we met, plus

Smitten by the way you talk, the way you smile gracefully

The way you bring entertainment, acting hysterically

I ain't never felt this way about a girl in my life

So give me a chance, you know I can be your Mr. Right

[Hook]

Supergirl, Ms Independent

She doesn't need a man, she's the..

Supergirl, Ms Independent

Give me a chance to make amends

[Verse 2]

Talkin' bout the kind of songs we listen, movies we watch

From the childhood we had, to our hobbies, the sports

It was one chance to make it right, once chance to impress

Nothing special, 'cause that's how I always treat my guests

Over a cup of coffee, caramel or tea

Can we get away from the summer heat and just be me

Guys desperate after confinement in the army

But I always had options, not to brag but honestly

Them emo girls don't move me, I like the cheerful you

But I hate your mind games, that's a fact that's true

Friendly gestures, but stop keeping me guessing

I can't decipher if you're just nice or being friendly

Stop judging me like I'm already a bad boyfriend

'cause we can make it work if you'd give me a chance

I know you've got plenty of friendships to juggle with

But the thought of you I've got to handle with, wanna be with..

[Hook]

Supergirl, Ms Independent

She doesn't need a man, she's the..

Supergirl, Ms Independent

Give me a chance to make amends

Saddening Happiness

Happy man outside, a sad man inside

Most of y'all don't really wanna see my real side

'cause I have too much pride and I don't confide

In people I don't know, keeping distance in strides

Most of y'all equate bitches to women and sluts

But never knew the definition of true love

For one I've never had it too, thought love was true

Till I was dumped back then, yea I felt it too

See, I'm not about to emo on this blog again

Too many wasted minutes on stupid so-called friends

Attempt to vent, hatred inks with this pen

The high life, I could never really understand

Or contemplate the world with its order tipped over

Religion and faith I try to wave but I pushed over

'cause I ain't feelin' it, so I don't believe in it

Seein' is believing and I don't see the point of it

Played it cool, try to stay true but instead I turned blue

I ain't a scholar, but I ain't no motherfucking fool too
When they told me I was bottom of the meridian

You never gonna make it, so get out of the system

But I stuck with it, played with it, even rolled over it

And now see where I'm standin', on this same concrete

There are no blinds, there is no sign, and there is no line

No rules, so I'ma reclaiming the lost and what was mine

Clueless about the boundaries of the space of time

Facin' set-backs, but I declined and still deter-mined

To one day make it like the athletes who did it

Thru' the struggles and the fall, and proud of it

Sadness, can you express, take the stress test

From the tip of the high-est, this I confess

Pointless, to hide inside your blanket all day

Get a air fresher, an air breather, let it fade away

Clear the air with a little, music filled drizzle
Let the jazz fizzle, take away the miserable

Bosa Nova is good when it sets the mood

I love it the most, classic music is all good

I tapped my feet to it, attempt to dance

Fucked it up with bad rhythm 'cause I can't dance

But I didn't come out to dance, I came to have fun

Even if it means dancing alone with no one

Just wanna have a good time, this time is mine

Work and love, the two last things on my mind

But now that I mention it, awww fuck it

Painful memories tempt to evoke, but I just shut it

I am happy today, better than yesterday or the day before

Than I can imagine, within the soul's deepest core

Lies the happiest man on earth, you just gotta know it

A big wide smile to the sky, yes I too damn know it

I've gotten over it.

There's a drive and a sense of purpose.

'cause I love my fam more than I have ever I thought I did.

And there's music to do.. Looking forward to every recording.

The nights aren't that scary anymore huh. hahahaha. How silly.

I'm so happy and I damn I feel it. I'm so happy.

what.?

I'm swallowing cats and I don't mean it like a Chinese
I'm following facts and I don't mean it like a journalist
I be the conformist, what the rest of the people is
What the confirmed is, what the test of illegal is
The simple-lest cause of the root of all evil
Let's get away from devils with a rest sabbbatical
I'm the lyrical, so I'm never droppin the subject
To kill flows that's whack and rhymes that's whack
You better be running fast when the paper chase is back
You'll be whipping tears that pass and when the face is sad
Frowning like inverted vees when the tissue is off the sneeze
Clownin with favourite tees when I shoot the birds that wheeze

mood swing

I'm not really in the mood man.

July 8th is approaching and I can't focus.

It's not some girl problem or money problem or dilemma shit.

I think, and it seems like.. I'm still recovering from the depression.

Gotta set my mind straight, there's more problems to deal with, more things to accomplish.

WHO'S GONNA BUY THE GOD DAMN APARTMENT?!

I am.

WHO'S GONNA REALIZE HIS DREAM?

I am.

WHO'S GONNA LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST?

I am.

Smitten? I think I finally found someone I could speak at ease to.

WHO'S GONNA REALIZE HIS DREAM?

I am.

But it's tougher than you think. Wake up cousin.

Maisie Flowers

Dear Maisie

It's been seven years since we last met

Still remember when you encouraged me giving me a pat

When I was struggling with the stress and the pressure

Cracking up under the expectations on my god damn shoulders

I was barely 14 years old, never knew my life goals

Still dreaming away in my classes I had my own troubles to juggle

Girl problems, weight problems, teenage rebellion

Livin' in my own world thinkin' they were very big deals then

But then I had to grow up, I had to stay away

From the past memories that used to haunt me every single day

I missed my childhood, my friends who left me for good

But still fantasized that someday they would come to understood

That it was against my will, never wanted to leave this place

Never knew how many times I've cried for this one small place

Damn the world was so small then, now it's huge and boundless

But you understood how hard it was on an immigrant like us

It was like yesterday I saw you at one of those malls

And you looked pale and frail, thought something was wrong

But something held me back, and I didn't even greet you

Now I can only wish I could have said something sweet to

The one and only teacher I truly admire and respect

Who didn't try ta judge me even though I wasn't perfect

Too many money suckers educators in this industry

Pretending to care when all they care about is their salary

I'd bet you were the last of your kind in your golden time

These days it's hard to find an adult who'd cross the line

Take the leap of faith and courage and do the stuff you did

Showering love on them stupid and immature kids

Used to visit you once in a while in a single calendar year

Until in year 2 I decided it wasn't worth the effort or the tears

And a year later I realized my mistake

When a friend of mine said you were gone and dead..

Seems a lot of people don't remember your name

A child wondering why it always brought me such intense pain

Sorry that I took this long to finally say that I love you

Guess some words just had been kept too long inside too

Who would have known 7 years later I'd still remember you

As the motherly figure I looked up to, I'll remember you

Whenever I'm feeling down and I look at the sky

Try ta imagine your smile in the clouds, then I'd give a sigh

Wishin' I'd hugged you before you left

Because no one could have predicted their very own death

This is a simple verse I've been wanting to share

Even if I'm the only person in the world who'd even care

You meant so much to me and for that I'd say peace in heaven

dilemma 30.06.11

Don't mean to brag..

But hell I was damn pleasantly surprised to be offered the Tembusu College vacancy within 2hours after the interview. Cool shit. I think I did pretty well for the interview huh haha.

Ok now, gotta hope I get the god damn scholarship before I can confirm I'm down for this shit.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GET THE SCHOLARSHIP.

I know competition is tough, but I'm prepared to fight for it.

Your Notes My Notes

Weak weak whack!

Grow stronger, my brother!

You deserve so much better

Don't forget to hit 'My Notes'

I saw the sun rise, then the green grew
Weaving through the concrete cracks that we cling to
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Try to keep up with my folks
I smelled rain that brought the flash flood
With a river of permanent tear drops and rap hugs
Bad luck, play with the effortless
So I backed away from quick benefits
She'd skin of those that spit venomous
Yeah that's him, he's the one that tips generous
Still trying to define my description
A life with a little spare time for living
But even if I wanna hold the position
I gotta go, like "Daddy don't know any different"
I saw the noon sky, look at the snow melt
I left most my baggage up in a hotel
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Travel down that gravel road
I heard a bird cry - it was pathetic
Man, if you can fly, spread feathers like a message
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Stay on top this box of soap
I felt the track slip, but didn't pull breaks
I'm half dead, but already got a full plate
As long as I can hit my notes...

Okay I'm thinking anyone reading these posts must be thinking I'm some crazy fucker always going berzerk lol.

Gotta get over this depression shit.

Stop writing raps and go play volleyball

So similar in many ways.

But I can't feel it.

Time.

I couldn't be there earlier right.

OH WHAT THE FUCK YOU DIDN'T FEEL THIS EMO WHEN YOU WERE IN THE ARMY.

SO STOP BEING EMO AND GO WRITE SOME RAPS LOL

Rap the phenomenal monster, in this motherfucking century

Words are the silent killers, I be in the motherfucking sanctuary

Poetry isn't what it used to be like back in the days of Shakespeare

It's degraded, so I be here to bring it back to the days of the yesteryears

I show no fear, just ca-ca-ca-carry on the tradition

These electrical shit ain't frontin', like lyrical malnourishment

Gotta bring the message in the truth, the money is just the bonus

But cats be like who the fuck are you to spit or judge upon us

Versatility is key to the skills of the truest emcee

Playin' with the styles, the ills to the truest emcee

Old school, new school, whatever the combination has to offer

As long as you spread the love and the knowledge cause knowledge is the power!

MAKE THEM PROUD!

再次堅強！

我愣住了，都怪偶個性太膽小..！可惡

下一句要說什麽，下一句不要又獻醜！

初戀第二遍，好犀利！

鴕鳥的心態不要有也不能有！堅強、堅強、堅強！

但是別忘了你要做的東西！

THE LOVE

THE PASSION

THE STABILITY!

1. 幫angel洗澡！吸地板、洗衣服！去跑步運動！
2. 朝7月8日截止日期前進進攻！！！
3. 找一份permanent part time! 又要再教補習嗎？你確定？！想清楚點噢

堅強！

好多事情要完成，

太少時間給平凡人！

怎麽辦我又想哭了

我要堅強！